Why do girls get freaked so fast?

[DJinTraining06]

Got a question. Why do girls get freaked out so fast by guys? Like for example, there have been 2 girls in my lifetime that i have kinda freaked out by emailing them a few times or texting abunch of times. One i dated a yr and she ended up sayin i went "nuts" cuz i called her like 10 times in 2 weeks after we broke up. I didnt think it was that bad since she didnt have voicemail and onyl picked up half of the times. Plus we had some unresolved stuff to talk about. As for the other girl which was recentl and i posted about, i basically scared her away cuz i sent her a text to apologize for soemthing i said, and then the same night i sent 3 emails. Only cuz i thought of somethin new to say after the first one. WHat i said in the emails was totally nice and apologetic, yet the next day she called me and said i think ur great and would love to be friends, but i dont think a relationship is wat i want. I ask why and shes like, well the way u acted with the texting and emails made me feel uneasy, to be honest it kinda freaked me out.

Ok now i totally know i was an afc moron for emailing her at all, but honestly the emails were nice and apologetic, and considering we had gotten to know each other pretty well i thought she might welcome the apologies.

I cant seem to understand why girls so often r ready to treat u like some stalker. Theyre r plenty of weirdos and stalkers out there, but theoirs also guys who just lose their cool one day and try to contact some b*tch who ignoring them. It's weird to me cuz as a guy if a girl i had been seeing was tryin to email me and text me multiple times to apoligze for somethin, id be flattered that she cared that much.

Are they really so "freaked" or is it just that the AFC behavior made them lose attraction big time, and they use the "freaked out" excuse as their reason for ignoring u and cutting u off completely so they can get u out of their life. because i know a few guys who have had similar expereinces where their exes treated them as if they were stalkers or soemthin. maybe stalkers is an exaggeration but it seems like it.

 

[unorthodox]

For you a turn off is big fat ugly repulsive girl with hair on her chest, back, and and her large belley. For girls a turn off is a clingy guy who needs things.... YOU.


David DeAngelo puts forths a drawing of communication. Human communication is composed of words, body language, and actions. 3% of our communication is conducted verbally, the rest is through our body language and actions. Sooooooo, you could say that what you say is not important at all, how you say it and what you do is.

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David DeAngelo's material will help, double your dating is a great book, but to really understand this you must watch his videos. Other material might be good too, some here even read DJ Bible and get to things from it. It's something you must invest in for yourself. Who cares what she thinks or says, it's about you growing and getting things under control, so that you meet the right girl that will stay with you because she's into you 100%.

 

[ye yeah]

I know what you mean,how they overeact totally,ive seen it happen and had it happen to me once,but i learnt where it comes from...

i was hanging out with 2 girls.. and one got a text from this fat guy that liked her,and she had NO feelings for him whatsoever, he wrote in the text "hey ,sorry i had to leave so soon,maybe next time i see you i can play with your pretty hair "..

and as soon as they read it,their faces went stale and it was just a vibe of EWW FREAK,and it wasnt till i saw it from their side that i realised what effects **** like that had lol,back in the old days i wouldve prolly sent a queer text like that

so yeah,i think it all goes back to whether they are interested or not,if they arent more than a friend **** like that can happen

 

[unorthodox]

I know what you mean,how they overeact totally,ive seen it happen and had it happen to me once,but i learnt where it comes from...

i was hanging out with 2 girls.. and one got a text from this fat guy that liked her,and she had NO feelings for him whatsoever, he wrote in the text "hey ,sorry i had to leave so soon,maybe next time i see you i can play with your pretty hair "..

and as soon as they read it,their faces went stale and it was just a vibe of EWW FREAK,and it wasnt till i saw it from their side that i realised what effects **** like that had lol,back in the old days i wouldve prolly sent a queer text like that

so yeah,i think it all goes back to whether they are interested or not,if they arent more than a friend **** like that can happen

you're an AFC :kick:

 

[AlekNovi]

Yes, they do overreact. Btw... prepare to ignore the "you are a cling wuss blah blah" posts that are about to come from some KJs... They love threads like this one to shout stuff like that out.

Personally... my answer to this... is who the **** cares what they think and why they do this stuff. My personal theory is that they do this stuff to rationalize out not having interest level/attraction for a guy.

When she's attracted to you even the way you fart is cute. The was you leave stuff around the house is endearing... the way you belch is funny.

But when she doesn't like you, just having your pants be 0.1% wrinkled is *disgusting* and means you're a dumbass... and like "ewww what a slob"... when she isn't attracted to you, one strand of your hair being 2mm away from the rest of the hair is "what a ****ing klutz, can't he get his hair right"

Whether it's because they've been taught to be nice and empathic or whatever... women can never say I feel attraction for this guy, or feel unattracted to this other guy. They have to rationalize it in "logical" terms... in society accepted manners (i didn't like his jeans)... (he makes me laugh)... or whatever.

But you will OFTEN see the same girl say "i don't like guy a, because he's always doing X"... but then see her fawning over another guy who does the exact same thing!!! Even more!.

If the guy she has a crush on sent her 5 messages... it would be "romantic"... get it?

 

[DJinTraining06]

I know what you mean,how they overeact totally,ive seen it happen and had it happen to me once,but i learnt where it comes from...

i was hanging out with 2 girls.. and one got a text from this fat guy that liked her,and she had NO feelings for him whatsoever, he wrote in the text "hey ,sorry i had to leave so soon,maybe next time i see you i can play with your pretty hair "..

and as soon as they read it,their faces went stale and it was just a vibe of EWW FREAK,and it wasnt till i saw it from their side that i realised what effects **** like that had lol,back in the old days i wouldve prolly sent a queer text like that

so yeah,i think it all goes back to whether they are interested or not,if they arent more than a friend **** like that can happen

Yea its funny how cuz he was a fat guy they were like ewww and had the freaked look. Yet if he was a msucular stud, he coulda sent 2 or 3 texts and they woulda been all tickled and sh*t. Thats why i feel its all bs, and that it just has to do with their low interest level, since girls never ever take the blame or admit to anything. The fact that a girl will never speak to u again and ignores u, calls u a freak, is just her excuse for just not wanting to see u again. She feels guilty, she knows she's being b*tch, but its the nature of the beast, they dont admit anything. They r not accountable and dont have to be. They always have to come out smelling like a rose. So they pin it on u. In fact its almost as if they welcome each time u email them or text them so they can have more ammo against u, so its not "their fault"

i mean dont get me wrong i understand the whole neediness thing, i have def learned from those past 2 experiences. But! I have apolgized to other girls and done multiple messages or emails before and they were totally happy to get it. The difference was, these girls liked me. High interest level, In fact with the ex i spoke of, there was occasions where id apoligize and contact her often if soemthin had happened and she was soooo happy to get those texts or emails, like it made her melt.

Why? cuz she was still crazy into me, high interest level.
So neediness is never good, but u gotta look deeper than that, past the bullsh*t.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Yes, they do overreact. Btw... prepare to ignore the "you are a cling wuss blah blah" posts that are about to come from some KJs... They love threads like this one to shout stuff like that out.

Personally... my answer to this... is who the **** cares what they think and why they do this stuff. My personal theory is that they do this stuff to rationalize out not having interest level/attraction for a guy.

When she's attracted to you even the way you fart is cute. The was you leave stuff around the house is endearing... the way you belch is funny.

But when she doesn't like you, just having your pants be 0.1% wrinkled is *disgusting* and means you're a dumbass... and like "ewww what a slob"... when she isn't attracted to you, one strand of your hair being 2mm away from the rest of the hair is "what a ****ing klutz, can't he get his hair right"

Whether it's because they've been taught to be nice and empathic or whatever... women can never say I feel attraction for this guy, or feel unattracted to this other guy. They have to rationalize it in "logical" terms... in society accepted manners (i didn't like his jeans)... (he makes me laugh)... or whatever.

But you will OFTEN see the same girl say "i don't like guy a, because he's always doing X"... but then see her fawning over another guy who does the exact same thing!!! Even more!.

If the guy she has a crush on sent her 5 messages... it would be "romantic"... get it?

Dude, great post. You said it perfectly. they rationalize it. Thats wat i was getting at, but u explained it perfectly.

 

[Jackman]

the emails were nice and apologetic

Exactly what turned her off about your e-mails. You sound like the kind of guy that has to explain himself and his actions with 2000 word essays or over several very long, emotional phone calls. Don't do that sh-t anymore.

It doesn't matter if it's before, during or after a relationship ends; Women don't want appologetic. Always think of it this way: They want just enough from you so that there is a reason to have make up sex. Anything more than that is feminine. No nice, mushy, pour your heart out stuff.

 

[Desdinova]

I cant seem to understand why girls so often r ready to treat u like some stalker.

First of all, stalkers normally don't know they're stalkers. They think what they're doing is justified and normal. Stalkers (in the man stalking woman sense) are just overly obsessed about the woman they're stalking.

That brings me to the next subject. AFCs have set the standards for unattractive behavior. Bringing flowers on the first date, telling her how he feels in a letter, looking for a relationship, writing love poetry, apologizing for nothing, doing her favors, lending her money, jumping when she says jump, those are all the traits of unattractive men. If you do any of those early in the "relationship", red flags go up in her mind. She's seen this type of behavior MANY times, and it's bad news.

If you want a woman to become attracted to you, don't do what every other guy does.

 

[AlekNovi]

Exactly what turned her off about your e-mails. You sound like the kind of guy that has to explain himself and his actions with 2000 word essays or over several very long, emotional phone calls. Don't do that sh-t anymore.

It doesn't matter if it's before, during or after a relationship ends; Women don't want appologetic. Always think of it this way: They want just enough from you so that there is a reason to have make up sex. Anything more than that is feminine. No nice, mushy, pour your heart out stuff.

This kinds of posts I warned you about. Ignore the KJs, they've never talked to a girl, and they'll call you a wuss, and they'll just re-itirate something they read somewhere (most probably deangelo) and misunderstood lol. There's plenty of them on this forum.

It's about STRENGTH vs. weakness. When you are strong (as a character), you can be as nice as you want, and the nicer you are the higher the attraction.

Jerks are strong bad, nice guys are weak nice. Women are of a femine nature, and they seek the complimentary strength. They despise weakness so much, that they'd rather have a strong guy that treats them like ****, than a weakling who's nice to them.

It's not the nice-ness that is bad.

Actually "nice guys" aren't nice at all. They're so unattractive that they try to COMPENSATE with niceness. They are communicating "i know I suck and you'd never be attracted to me... but here you can let me kiss your ass... i'll ever give you whatever compliment you want, so long as I can get your love"

It's not the niceness that is unattractive it's the hyper overcompensation.

I strong guy gives the compliment as a gift. (it's on his OWN terms)

The weak guy gives it as barter (i give it in hope you will love me back).

What alot of people missunderstood (and some of these anti-nice-guy-syndrome authors admit they screwed up about teaching this)... was that they thought... oh it must mean we need to be UN-nice, and never give compliments and never do anything good, and only call girls once in 6 months etc... etc...

It's the deeper picture behind the action that counts. Like I said before. They use these things to rationalize out the non-attraction. I've asked girlfriend about this... "why did you dump this guy?" "oh he ****ing called me 3 times a day, and we always touch feely and groping me when we were out"... "ok then why did you want to stay so much with this OTHER guy? He called you 7 times a day, and was touching you just as much"... "oh but with him it was different"

 

[DJinTraining06]

This kinds of posts I warned you about. Ignore the KJs, they've never talked to a girl, and they'll call you a wuss, and they'll just re-itirate something they read somewhere (most probably deangelo) and misunderstood lol. There's plenty of them on this forum.

It's about STRENGTH vs. weakness. When you are strong (as a character), you can be as nice as you want, and the nicer you are the higher the attraction.

Jerks are strong bad, nice guys are weak nice. Women are of a femine nature, and they seek the complimentary strength. They despise weakness so much, that they'd rather have a strong guy that treats them like ****, than a weakling who's nice to them.

It's not the nice-ness that is bad.

Actually "nice guys" aren't nice at all. They're so unattractive that they try to COMPENSATE with niceness. They are communicating "i know I suck and you'd never be attracted to me... but here you can let me kiss your ass... i'll ever give you whatever compliment you want, so long as I can get your love"

It's not the niceness that is unattractive it's the hyper overcompensation.

I strong guy gives the compliment as a gift. (it's on his OWN terms)

The weak guy gives it as barter (i give it in hope you will love me back).

What alot of people missunderstood (and some of these anti-nice-guy-syndrome authors admit they screwed up about teaching this)... was that they thought... oh it must mean we need to be UN-nice, and never give compliments and never do anything good, and only call girls once in 6 months etc... etc...

It's the deeper picture behind the action that counts. Like I said before. They use these things to rationalize out the non-attraction. I've asked girlfriend about this... "why did you dump this guy?" "oh he ****ing called me 3 times a day, and we always touch feely and groping me when we were out"... "ok then why did you want to stay so much with this OTHER guy? He called you 7 times a day, and was touching you just as much"... "oh but with him it was different"

I agree with all the stuff u guys posted, mostly at least. The thing is i didnt really do any of those things. I was thinkin sosuave tips in the back of my mind in all my dealings with her. We went on our first date, i acted very confident, never broke eye contact, didn't act overly nice or kiss her a$$. She ended up texting me the next mornign saying she had "so much fun". I said yea me too i had a good time. and that was it. I didnt call her for 3 days after that. i planned our next date, it went amazing! like a 10 on the scale of dates. It was actually alot of fun i gotta say. So much fun that she invited me over the next nite to her place, and leaned on me instantly on her couch and we made out off and on all nite. then next few nights talked to me online for hrs and hrs (a mistake right there i know, but she im'd me first) and she told me all this stuff how she felt so comfortable with me and thinks we have amazing chemistry. i only started being all nice, and hinting at a relationshiop and stuff cuz of the stuff she said and the way she was comin on to me. I thought i was just reciprocating, i didnt know i had to play a game with her and be hard to get. I shoulda known better i guess, never let ur guard down. I just figured if i didnt let her know how i felt she wouldnt think i liked her. which i guess is dumb cuz girls always know u like them right? With other girls ive dated they were much more forward and if they came on that strong it meant they wanted to date me, i usuallly was the one who felt annoyed and pressured by that. I guess i just assumed she was like all the others ive dated who wanted it spelled out to them that i wanted to date them.

 

[ScrewIt]

Yep its weird i know. Girls like a guy taht shows interest but doesnt like it when he comes on too strong. It's all B.S. as long as they dont believe you're trying to get in their pants, they'll almost let you into their pants.
If the girl doesnt feel attraction and you dont possess value, nothing you do will matter.

It's about STRENGTH vs. weakness. When you are strong (as a character), you can be as nice as you want, and the nicer you are the higher the attraction.

I agree, being nice can portray strength of character. As long as you arent doing it in hopes to get something in return. Believe it or not girls notice these things, and when you are nice to them once in awhile they'll remember it...aside from all the teasing and ball busting you've done to her.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What guys need to realize that the biggest fear that women have about relationships is the chance that they may lose their identity. Any actions from a guy that may seem needy may rebuff any woman who isn't out to save a guy to boost her own feeling of self worth.

 

[skip2mylou781]

What guys need to realize that the biggest fear that women have about relationships is the chance that they may lose their identity. Any actions from a guy that may seem needy may rebuff any woman who isn't out to save a guy to boost her own feeling of self worth.

in no way is that any woman's fear....are u talking out of experience or just out of theory???

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

in no way is that any woman's fear....are u talking out of experience or just out of theory???

Sitting in multiple lecterns with 50 or more women at a time all coming to the conclusion that it is the worse thing that could happen to them in a relationship is my proof. What's yours?

 

[DJinTraining06]

Sitting in multiple lecterns with 50 or more women at a time all coming to the conclusion that it is the worse thing that could happen to them in a relationship is my proof. What's yours?

Whats a lectern?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Whats a lectern?

A large auditorium like room where lectures are given.

 

[skip2mylou781]

oh wow women SPOKE to u and told u their fear

in my experiences, women fear things like the followign alot more than what U said:

1) dying alone
2) rape
3) abuse
4) losing a guy who they are in love with
5) stds
6) unwanted pregnancy

what YOU said they fear, i know for a fact ur not speaking from experience, ur only taking something u heard in a lecture? is that correct? its not somethin u EXPERIENCED in a relationship???? you are ALL about theory aren't you "pimp"?

LOL

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

oh wow women SPOKE to u and told u their fear

in my experiences, women fear things like the followign alot more than what U said:

Ands of course your personal experience is in complete allignment with those of women.

 

[skip2mylou781]

my personal experience = girl was crying like it was the end of the world when i dumped her

or crying like it was the end of the world when she thought she was pregnant

or freaking out when i made her think i have aids (joke which she took seriously for 10 minutse)

hmmmmmmmm "loss of identity", WAT IN THE HELL IS THAT??

u speak outta your ass, not outta any real life experience

have you ever even had sex before??