Why do girls do this?

[Beginner1]

Why talk to a guy act as if you are having a good time, say you are single and ask the same question, give you her number at the end of the night, say call me, and then you do, leave a message and they do not call back?

Can not F'ing come up with a rational reason of why this stupid crap happens and it is not like you can even ask them why they did not call and find out the specific reason why it happens because they have not returned your first call.

I am currently in the worst state I have been in quite some time. I am a very positive person and I give people (girls especially) the benefit of the doubt. I have come up short the last 12 chances I have tried to establish some kind of relationship with a girl. Flaking out has happened 90% of the time which is the most frustrating because you will usually never ever find out why they did that. To be honest I have recently lost the positive frame of mind necessary to achieve what I want and I know that is a very bad thing but, I cannot currently change that pattern of thinking.

ANALOGY:

I want to become an accomplished boxer and I decide to start my career. I train hard, I eat right, and I study the greats of boxing. I then enter my first few fights and I lose my first 10 fights in a row. How on earth can I possibly have the same frame of mind and method of thinking that is necessary to achieve my goal when I just fell flat on my face. Fixing this problem is actually easier because I atleast can pinpoint my flaws in this area and then go back to the drawing board and specificaly work on them.
Try and tell the guy who is 0-10 "Don't worry, you're still a good fighter, you'll get a win someday" He ain't gonna buy it.

How can you go back to the drawing board and work on girls who flake out, you can't, you do not know why it keeps happening and you do not know what you can do to prevent it from happening again or even lessen the chances of it.When a girl flakes out here and there, I could totally deal with that but when the odds of it happening are far greater than it not, you walk around f'ing clueless and angry and it has basically become necessary to find out WHY. When the same thing happens 9 times out of 10 there has got to be a reason.

 

[HuuBinh]

hey Beginner1,

Despite the outcome, good work in your efforts in making those approaches.

One of the biggest reasons for flaking is not enough rapport.

She may be attracted to you initially and ya'll can have a great time, but those emotions subside after you are gone.

If you don't develop wide and deep rapport, most of your interaction will we worthless in terms of yielding the results you want.

 

[Beginner1]

I have no idea what you can possibly do in your first interaction that I probably have not already done. I find it very hard to believe that feelings subside that quickly, I am not buying that.Especially if you just met them a day or two ago

Thanks for your response though

 

[tmpgstx]

Wide and deep rapport may help, but sure doesn't guarantee anything. Girls often have this type of rapport with their platonic guy friends.

Great time for my boxing analogy relative to relationships.

If i were a boxer, would be more of a counter puncher, meaning it is better for me a girl chases me, and lets me counter off what she does. Now, if i have to chase her, it's a little unorthadox.

You go for the knockout too quick, and you risk getting ko'ed. You wait too long and risk getting TKOed. So which is better? go for the knockout right away or wait to find an opening? It depends on the situation and the girl.

Beginner 1, as i'm sure you know the best don't worry about how the last round went, they only look to what can be done effectively the next round.

If Bowe was too continue worrying about Holyfield's crushing left hooks over the top (which he ate alot), wouldn't have gone on to win with his uppercuts.

When Tyson fought Holyfield, Holy countered him all the way. He waited for Tyson to punch and then countered. With Lewis, Holy had no choice but to get offensive, why? Because Lewis is counter puncher too!

Think of this way, it's like when a great fighter gets beat by some flukie unorthadox fighter like Chez or something. Don't let Chez (or the flakey AW in this case) define who you are as a contender in the dating arena. It's HARD not to do if you take everything you do seriously for pride's sake etc., but find a way to remove all the insecurities and BS.

 

[baddfishh40]

First of all, women are not rational creatures... How long are you waiting until you call? If you are calling the next day that may be one thing. Usually I don't leave messages because this makes it seem as though you are depending on her to call you back. If I don't get her I'll just wait until the next day and try her again. Without more details its hard to help you but maybe you are coming off as too needy. Have you read the DJ bible?

 

[tmpgstx]

Something else i wanted to add. In boxing, the person most intimidated usually gets knocked out quickly. Remember Ruddock and Lewis?

If show intimidation in a girl's presence, then you're not a worthy opponent. Try to keep a light-hearted and funny, fun and no big-deal attitude. Hold her eye contact.

Remember Douglas and Holyfield .. Douglas couldn't even look him in the eyes when touching gloves.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Beginner1
Why talk to a guy act as if you are having a good time, say you are single and ask the same question, give you her number at the end of the night, say call me, and then you do, leave a message and they do not call back?

we say the same about you...

 

[JonJack]

Seriously, there's no real need for you to know why they flake. For every girl that flakes, there could be many different reasons why they do it. Knowing every single one of them ain't gonna help. It'll be interesting to know, but it ain't worth getting all worked up over it if you can't know.

Let's say the girl does tell you the reason. And she tells you that she met someone better than you after she met you and she's choosing to spend her time with him instead. No big deal right? All fair on her part. No point getting mad. What's wrong with just assuming that every girl that flakes on you has just met someone better? Unless the answer is important to you. So, what's the answer you wanna hear? The truth? Will hearing the truth actually make you feel better? If it would, the truth is, she flaked on you and she doesn't wanna tell you the reason because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. It doesn't matter if you two were having a good time and making out before. All that doesn't give you the right to expect her to give you her time or an answer.

 

[JT47319]

You should work on anti-flake tactics.

 

[tmpgstx]

There's is legislation going thru Congress right now for having a an anti-flake task force and disaster recovery team. If you get flaked, this team will figure out why and record it in a global information database.

 

[jprjrjr]

When I started boxing in the Marines, I lost my first two fights. I subsequently went on to win 35 in a row...32 by KO I might add.:woo:

My point is this; who gives a shyt why they flaked? They did you a favor. How would you like it if you actually developed feeling for this girl, and then she flaked?

 

[PRMoon]

Just because you leave a message for a girl and she doens't call you doesn't mean that she's not interested. The girl I'm currently dating didn't call me back the first time I called her and left a message on her machine. I called her later on that week or the next (don't really remeber) and everything was cool. People have lives to lead outside of your dating world, and to expect them to be on your schedule all the time is no more realisitic then for you to be on there's.

Feelings do subside after awhile too. No heart ache can't be over taken by some sound mental toughness. Dating can be hectic, but if you're mentally sound and prepared for the hardship that comes along with it then little snags like this won't be a problem. Like boxing you just have to keep getting up, no matter how many times you get knocked down. You have to know you can win not just think you can. When you know your efforts will pay off you'll rise to your feet no matter how many times you get knocked down. That's what seperates champions from the rest of the pack.