why do exe's do this?

[kaitracid2010]

ok guys i have a few questions...

i recently dumped my girlfriend (2 year relationship) i have another thread on here "should i dump my girlfriend"


my reason for dumping her... once she realized i had fallen for her... she started to take liberties, disrespectful towards me & constant drama!!!


at the same time, putting pressure on me to commit to her (i.e) get engaged to her & marriage, and live together etc

anyhow i couldn't commit to a woman who is manipulative & does not have my best interests at heart.

when you dump a girl, is it normal for her to get nasty?? send you spiteful emails & text messages

also why would she say, i will be married to someone within 6 months? is this a manipulative technique, so you come running back to her?


been no contact for just over 2 weeks now & starting to see her for what she was

 

[kaitracid2010]

her words exactly was

"i will be getting married within the next 6 months, i am just sorry that it was not you"


i think you are right... she prob wanted me to panic & think...damn i am going to lose this woman if i don't go after her right now!!


very manipulative indeed

 

[iamnobody]

For a chick is way harder to deal when a guy dumps her. If you're a guy, once you nail a better looking chick, you're fine. For a chick, she has to find someone who she thinks is better than you. To make it even harder for her, you dumping her made YOU her best choice. Probably she will try and manipulate you, don't let it bother you.

 

[kaitracid2010]

For a chick is way harder to deal when a guy dumps her. If you're a guy, once you nail a better looking chick, you're fine. For a chick, she has to find someone who she thinks is better than you. To make it even harder for her, you dumping her made YOU her best choice. Probably she will try and manipulate you, don't let it bother you.

the thing is... you don't always do better than her looks wise...but then again what is the point in having an attractive woman who is a total manipulative b#tch?


it's probably better to settle for a less attractive woman, but who makes a much better long term partner

 

[iamnobody]

the thing is... you don't always do better than her looks wise...but then again what is the point in having an attractive woman who is a total manipulative b#tch?

Better to find an attractive woman who's not such a manipulator.

it's probably better to settle for a less attractive woman, but who makes a much better long term partner

You think less attractive women don't cheat? What you just said comes from your insecurities. Don't settle for less. Ever.

 

[kaitracid2010]

Better to find an attractive woman who's not such a manipulator.


You think less attractive women don't cheat? What you just said comes from your insecurities. Don't settle for less. Ever.

i take your point.... i don't want to settle for less... i just rather be with a woman who i can love, but will not use my love to her adavantage, in a controlling or manipulative way!

 

[iamnobody]

I'm afraid you'll have a better chance to find out Santa is real.
All you can do is take over yourself. Women have manipulation embedded, it's in their nature.

 

[Uncharted]

It sounds like you dodged a bullet.

 

[WoodB]

Stay away from her. You already know this inside. You just got a glimpes of the tip of the iceburg. She will shipwreck you, and that is just for starters.

 

[bluejay83]

she's hurt

she wants to control you again..


no contact and move on.

 

[floydb25]

****, it's normal for a girl to act nasty, cruel, and manipulative after dumping YOU - much less the other way around. Just remember that, 9-10, it has nothing to do with caring about you so much (this is rarely ever the case), but not being able to have their way, and get whatever they want. Even to have you as a back-up plan, doormat, emotional tampon or whatever after dumping you. A lot of it also has to do with ego and control.

This is why they start acting like spoiled, whiney, manipulative, vindictive children post-breakup. As well as when they "have" you - and want to keep it that way. Or even when they find you intriguing - then decide you don't live up to their standards, and lose interest. Or never liked you in the first place.

You went against their interests, didn't give them what they want, and took their toy away... now they're angry and spiteful, and want to get back at you... even if they were the problem, and don't genuinely want you back (without you begging, proving your worthiness, giving away the control, and accepting fault, that is).

This is why you gotta watch for signs of immaturity, manipulation, ego, control, and selfishness, which is all too common these days.

And yes, she is manipulating you with passive-aggressive BS to get you to come crawling back, or make you feel bad, or give the control back to her (or all of the above) now that she claims to have someone else - and will likely continue to do so. She'll brag and boast about how happy she is now, try to make you believe you made the worst mistake of your life, blah blah... Who cares. She's dumb. :box:

 

[Olivia]

It is all manipulative, you are manipulative, she is manipulative, the world is manipulative.

The very fact that you are doing all sort of thigs to 'attract' her is manipulative. The very fact that she is doing all short of hard to get, and all sort of stupid **** to ruin her beautiful natural body is manipulative. this very world is manipulative, dominated by politicans. The very word political tells it all

 

[nismo-4]

She's mad that things didn't go her way. Woe to the beta who caves into her.

I don't go back to exes for a reason.

Case closed. Move on.

 

[Olivia]

She's mad that things didn't go her way. Woe to the beta who caves into her.

I don't go back to exes for a reason.

Case closed. Move on.

What reason

 

[penkitten]

What reason

he is saying that ending a relationship is much like swimming...

imagine swimming around in the pool with only one other person. you are having a wonderful time and then one of you pees in the pool. it doesn't really matter who peed in the pool... but sooner or later, you have to get out of the pool. now, why would you jump back into that same pool again? it's full of pee and deep down, you know one of you will just pee in it again.


so for that reason alone, is why he does not date any of his ex's.

 

[kaitracid2010]

Stay away from her. You already know this inside. You just got a glimpes of the tip of the iceburg. She will shipwreck you, and that is just for starters.

i hear what you are saying... it's funny how you develop feelings for a person & your sense of logic & straight thinking just goes STRAIGHT out of the window.

i will give you some insight into the dynamics of this relationship, and would like your thoughts & opinions.


First of all i am 37 years old & she is 46 years old

I do not have any children (but would consider having a child at some point – maybe)

She is a single mother with 4 children, by 2 different guys… two kids over the age of 16
and two kids under the age of 16… only 3 kids live at home with her tho

one of her exes is currently paying child support, towards one of the children..

she does not work & claims state benefits & makes a cozy living from that, especially with the child support money coming in too!


So I have been seeing this woman on & off for nearly two years & in the order of things, this is where I feel I fit into her life!

First come her kids (she has made that clear)
Then her family (she has made that clear)
Then her friends
And right at the bottom, it’s good old me lol


Now the relationship itself, took a serious downhill turn, once I fell for her… while I was keeping my distance & not investing too heavily, we seemed to be getting along better..

Now once she realized that my feelings for her have changed & I was in love with her… that is when shiit hit the fan!

She became quite rude, sometimes offensive, disrespectful, throwing tantrums like a spoilt child, using the silent treatment against me… using sex as a control mechanism
Always expecting me to initiate sex… and then refusing sex when it suites her

I was pretty strong with her & stood my ground most of the time… but this woman is very masculine… she does as she likes, when she likes… and nobody can tell her otherwise & there is not much room for compromise!

And to add to this… she is a NARCISSIST… never does she accept any wrong doing, never does she make up with me after a fallout even if that means the end of the relationship!


so what kind of future can you have with a person like this... sometimes you stay in the relationship, hoping things might change, or if i changed my behaviour towards her, then things might get better...

have come to realise the hard way, people don't change & you cannot fix what is broken... either live in that situation & put up with the misery until one day she dumps you & you have lost everything

or just get the fvck out when you can... which is what i decided to do

 

[nismo-4]

Isn't it amazing how b**ches think their vaginas are made of gold? If only there was a such thing as a golden dik!

 

[Olivia]

he is saying that ending a relationship is much like swimming...

imagine swimming around in the pool with only one other person. you are having a wonderful time and then one of you pees in the pool. it doesn't really matter who peed in the pool... but sooner or later, you have to get out of the pool. now, why would you jump back into that same pool again? it's full of pee and deep down, you know one of you will just pee in it again.


so for that reason alone, is why he does not date any of his ex's.

It is weird, because that is what life is about. Doing the same stupid things over and over again. In fact, i have never seen a relationship without peeing! Whetever it will be through alone or together. Every relationship pees, but the joy comes from cleaning it and again peeing! Going the effort again. The difference between exes and new ones is simple: With exes, you will have much more pee. If you have a deep relationship with someone, it is kind of a storm; much happiness and much sadness. With a new one, the relationship will have a dulness in it. It might be a little exciting, but thats it.

 

[WoodB]

What reason

I do believe that when a lass has reasons for rejecting a gent for causes that are entirely selfish or abjectly misguided, the better part of our noble selves require us to extricate ourselves from the miserable clutches of a potential mountain hag.

 

[WoodB]

It is weird, because that is what life is about. Doing the same stupid things over and over again. In fact, i have never seen a relationship without peeing! Whetever it will be through alone or together. Every relationship pees, but the joy comes from cleaning it and again peeing! Going the effort again. The difference between exes and new ones is simple: With exes, you will have much more pee. If you have a deep relationship with someone, it is kind of a storm; much happiness and much sadness. With a new one, the relationship will have a dulness in it. It might be a little exciting, but thats it.

Your scatalogical references to relationships is very good, Olivia, but there must exist a level of reciprorcity, or one may find himself (or herself) peeing on himself, a rather unhealthy situation. But you are right in asserting figuratively that relationships do tend to strew the field with casualties which may be dealt with and may even hold the key to strengthening the relationshp if there is the desire to do so in both parties.