Why did this girl flake on me?

[Mizzou-Rah]

Okay I need some help because I have no idea where I went wrong with this girl. To start off, I took this girl home from the bar last week (I'm at college). Everything went well, I stayed at her place, but we didn't have sex. The next day was the start of our spring break, so I didn't see her for a week. Well, this past Saturday I see her at the bar again, I say what's up but I don't talk to her too much. About the last 30 minutes we are there, I start chatting her up, expecting to go home with her again. Everything seems to be going well, she acts like she's really into me, touching me, laughing at everything I say, etc. So, the bar is closing, everybody starts to leave, and I ask her if she needs a ride home, and she says yeah. So I pull in her driveway and am expecting to go inside with her, when she says "thanks for the ride home. i'll see ya later". WTF?!?

So, should I have said something to try and go inside with her? I felt kind of awkward doing that, since it is her house, it should be her place to invite me in. She seems like she might be shy though, and is expecting me to say something. I don't know, this girl has me really confused. Is it possible her interest level dropped that much in 1 week?

 

[ManOMan]

what do you mean by "you stayed at her place"? Did you kiss? mess around? anything? Or were you just taking up space?

If you did nothing, you coming in the 2nd time just meant more of the same. No action and just somebody crashing at your place.

Otherwise maybe she was just tired and wanted to go to bed.

and she didnt flake on you, flaking is when you make plans and the other person backs out.

you asked her if she needed a ride home and she agreed. During the drive you may have asked her if she wanted to hang out for a bit.

 

[Mizzou-Rah]

we really didn't do anything last time, basically because we all ended up getting too drunk (after the bar, me, the girl, her friend, and a buddy of mine went back to their house to keep drinking until 4-5 in the morning). Also, a couple times during the night she mentioned that she doesn't have one-night stands, blah blah blah, so I figured it wouldn't even be worth it. But, basically, it came down to us both (or maybe just me?) being too drunk.

I thought it would be rude to invite myself in to her house, but I know i should have said something. I always thought beforehand that it is the responsibility of the person whose house it is to invite the other person in, but maybe I should have initiated with her.

Any thoughts on how I should react with her in the future, or has she written me off now?

 

[DJ_Dork]

don't overanalyze on wondering why a girl is letting you in the house or not. Seems like you are focused on the sex part too from this girl. Chill dude.

 

[Mizzou-Rah]

I'm not really overanalyzing, I'm just wondering if there was something I could have said or done to make the situation more favorable. It just seems kind of odd that one night this girl would have me come in and spend the night there, and then the next night there was nothing. I don't want to waste my time on a girl that is trying to play games, when there are plenty of other girls out there, know what I mean?

 

[Ice Cold]

Girls get offended if you don't hit on them, because it means they're not sexy enough to attract you. This way, you make them feel insecure and they HATE YOU FOR IT.

When a girl brings you home from a bar you should fukk her. That way she won't flake.

Understood?

 

[true|hockey]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
Girls get offended if you don't hit on them, because it means they're not sexy enough to attract you. This way, you make them feel insecure and they HATE YOU FOR IT.

From someone who's been there, let me tell you this is so true. Women often drop signs of them wanting you to hit on them etc, and will become extremly offended if you dont. Interest levels can plummet fast too.

while they won't outright say anything, one can sense the hate....

 

[Mizzou-Rah]

Okay, so was she basically lying when she was telling me that she does not have one-night stands? Why would she say this? I thought that when she told me that it was her way of saying don't try to fukk me, because I don't do that. Oh well, I guess you live and learn.

 

[jakethasnake]

The main dilemma here is that women are never direct. If they *were* direct in sending their message most of the time, we could just take their message at face value, and both parties would be happy:



i.e. girl feels horny that night, and says "Fock me". So he does. And they're both happy.


In reality, a girl won't say that, coz that will make her feel slvtty. So she'll sometimes say "I don't do one night stands", even when she wants your slimy cokk in her." Or course, she'll also say that when she really does NOT want to fock, and since you can't read minds, you'll be left confused in both cases.



Solutions? JUST PLOUGH RIGHT AHEAD. Even if she says he doesn't to ONS or "isn't that kind of girl", just assume she's fronting. Go up to her, smile, tease, say "come on.... I want to hold you..." and pull her to your by her hips. About half the time, she'll respond to that masculine body language. The other times, she'll put her hands on your chest and push away, with a serious face. THAT IS YOUR CUE TO STOP. Not anything verbal. As the Master DJs always say, always look at her body language, NEVER what she says. That's your key man. Better luck next time.

 

[Mizzou-Rah]

Thanks for the advice jakethasnake, you're right about reading her body language. I think the main problem was that I ended up getting too drunk, which killed my game. Do you think I should bother trying to go home with this girl again, or should I just move on? If her interest level went down, is there anything I can really do about it to raise it again?

 

[ToP DoN]

cause ur weak

 

[JustDoItAlways]

You're not done yet however.

Yes, you should have put stronger moves on her the first night. Maybe you were both too drunk. Drunk sex is still good though because once a chick gives it up to you, its just easier for her to give it up the next time even when you are both sober. She was already a slvt so she might as well get it on again anyway. Were you too drunk in the morning?

Yes, when you stopped at her house the second time, you should have invited yourself in and put the moves on her again.

And never listen to what a girl says, listen to what she does. When she told you she doesn't do ONSs, what she is really saying is "I'm thinking about having sex with you. Play your cards right and you're in there."

But, she will probably give you another chance if you grab your balls and go for it the next time. Sometimes, chicks won't give you another chance after two episodes like this but it sounds like you didn't screw up too badly and she seems to be reasonably into you.

 

[Mizzou-Rah]

JustDoItAlways, thanks for the good advice. I definately would have tried to make something happen the next morning after I sobered up, but she had to work at like 9:00 in the morning and she was gone when I woke up (in her room).

What would have been an appropriate thing I could have said the second time to try and go in her house with her? Isn't it her job to invite me in since it's her house?

I should see her again this week on either Thursday or Friday, so this time I'll be more direct with her. Hopefully I can come back with some good updates, so I'll let you guys no what happens.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by Mizzou-Rah
Okay, so was she basically lying when she was telling me that she does not have one-night stands?

Yes. She lied. They lie most of the time. They have to, they're pressured to lie, they're taught to lie...

Why would she say this?

Woman's logic. She wants to fukk you, but she doesn't want to appear a slat. So she makes an excuse - I told him I don't have one night stands, so he's going to my place not expecting sex. I am not a slut.

Then when you start hitting on her and she gives up, she has an excuse of "this just happened".

Compare it to the situation where she goes to you, saying that she has one night stands. She feels like a hoe.

I thought that when she told me that it was her way of saying don't try to fukk me, because I don't do that.

Yeah, right. She doesn't fukk

It was her way of making herself feel like she wasn't a hoe and it just happened.

Oh well, I guess you live and learn.

Better than not learning

Cheers man