Why Can't You Tell Girls You Like Them ?

[BadBoyJake]

Why is it you just cant tell a girl you like them ?
whats that all about ?

Because you are showing your emotions to them. If you want her to know you like her show it by your actions. She will know.

 

[ashman1]

Amen ! Amen Brother !

 

[Stéphane]

You can tell a girl that you like her, as long that she likes you.

 

[ashman1]

You can tell a girl that you like her, as long that she likes you.

yea but even if the igrl is genuinely interested , it all goes south after you tell them you like them !

an when you ignore them , they cant leave you alone . its too confusing !

for example :

one night i went to a social affair , very nice lots of people i knew and didn't
there was this one girl i saw , looked like that black girl from "saved by the bell " but like at least a HB8 , so i went over and started to spit my game ,
and she was intersted . told her i liked her ! even made a number close ! later that night i asked her to dance , she said yes, we slow danced for almost 45 min . after that i offered to buy her a drink , she declined ( she already had one ) and i said i would call her.

three days later , i called , no reply. for 3 weeks i called her once or twice a week , no reply. finally i got a call @work mind you ,on my answering machine, from some dude, sayin that she doesnt like me so i might as well stop calling then you could hear other people laughing in the background .

so never called again.

but this is the case with all women that i meet , why does it always have to be this way ? why must these girls always have to play these games . im so
fvckin tired of it , im ready to kill ! this cycle of dispair and abuse of the nice guy must come to an end ! but first the enemy must be understood, before they can be destroyed ! :cuss:

okay ! so i got a little carried away there, but you get my point !

 

[ashman1]

Why are you starting 4 threads asking one line questions and never responding to all the answers provided? What's all that about?

you need to read my post a little more closely , bro. :moon:

 

[EFFORT]

ashman are you a troll?

 

[slaog]

yea but even if the igrl is genuinely interested , it all goes south after you tell them you like them !

an when you ignore them , they cant leave you alone . its too confusing !

for example :

one night i went to a social affair , very nice lots of people i knew and didn't
there was this one girl i saw , looked like that black girl from "saved by the bell " but like at least a HB8 , so i went over and started to spit my game ,
and she was intersted . told her i liked her ! even made a number close ! later that night i asked her to dance , she said yes, we slow danced for almost 45 min . after that i offered to buy her a drink , she declined ( she already had one ) and i said i would call her.

three days later , i called , no reply. for 3 weeks i called her once or twice a week , no reply. finally i got a call @work mind you ,on my answering machine, from some dude, sayin that she doesnt like me so i might as well stop calling then you could hear other people laughing in the background .

so never called again.

but this is the case with all women that i meet , why does it always have to be this way ? why must these girls always have to play these games . im so
fvckin tired of it , im ready to kill ! this cycle of dispair and abuse of the nice guy must come to an end ! but first the enemy must be understood, before they can be destroyed ! :cuss:

okay ! so i got a little carried away there, but you get my point !

You're acting needy! Go back and reread the replies on the thread and keep rereading them till you actually get it.

 

[mikej73]

like is fine. cute is actually recomended. its the other four letter L word you have to be carefull with. remember its not what you say but how you say it. dont come across as a needy whimp.

 

[ashman1]

ashman are you a troll?

EXCUSE ME ? TROLL ? . . . :trouble:

 

[Prodigy746]

This is a golden rule and I'll do my very best to explain why this is. Let's look at it from your perspective. Say you're a dating a girl and after say 2 dates she comes out and says that she really likes you. Typically, in your head you'll be like wtf, this chick barely knows me and says she likes me. This should turn you off because it kind of shows that the girl is desperate or is too easily swooned. I mean if the girl was hot as hell I wouldn't even care, but in most cases with regular girls its just a blatant turn-off. You figure, hell if this one likes me that easily, there must be a better deal around the corner waiting too.

Now its the same thing for girls when you say it to them. They'll get weirded out in a similar fashion. I mean the whole point of the game is to get the other person to like you enough to have sex with you, once this has occurred much of the game is over and all the excitement pretty much jumps ship.

You pretty much nailed it.

 

[ready123]

how you say it always matters more than what you say. there are a ton of supposedly AFC lines that if you said from a high value frame, wouldn't hurt you or kill attraction. but most guys don't have the social intelligence to understand the proper frame so they're better off not saying those things at all

when it comes to saying "I like you" one of the most crucial things I've seen is that there's a timing factor involved. you say it too early, you reek of neediness. same thing if you say it when there's no connection yet or when she hasn't shared anything about herself that's unique or interesting (AKA there's nothing to actually like about her yet)

best things are to, 1) genuinely like the girl when you say it, and 2) verbally qualify what you like about her so it doesn't come across as bullsht

 

[EFFORT]

EXCUSE ME ? TROLL ? . . . :trouble:

a troll is someone that comes on a forum to just mess around for fun. They usually make over the top post. I just said that since your latest response (and pretty much all your post for that matter) sounded so wussy that it seemed like someone playing around.... if you were being honest then u def came to the right place and should start reading asap.

 

[ashman1]

a troll is someone that comes on a forum to just mess around for fun. They usually make over the top post. I just said that since your latest response (and pretty much all your post for that matter) sounded so wussy that it seemed like someone playing around.... if you were being honest then u def came to the right place and should start reading asap.

Wow, " wussy " , yeah i guess thats how you could put it .
well im sorry that my posts arent too " manly " for you , but yea
i am serious . im a 27 yr old , proffesional man. i have never had a
GF been on a few dates , maybe 3 that i can remember,have absolutely no game , and have had a rather bleak relationship with women. i came here to find answers to all of the questions i have about women and to find useful techniques to remedy the problems .

 

[EFFORT]

Wow, " wussy " , yeah i guess thats how you could put it .
well im sorry that my posts arent too " manly " for you , but yea
i am serious . im a 27 yr old , proffesional man. i have never had a
GF been on a few dates , maybe 3 that i can remember,have absolutely no game , and have had a rather bleak relationship with women. i came here to find answers to all of the questions i have about women and to find useful techniques to remedy the problems .

send me a pm man i'll help you out

 

[Interceptor]

You can always tell a woman you 'like' her with no repercussions IF you say it from the right place.
Not "I like you. So...since I told you that, you must like me too."
But: "I like you. But I dont need anything from you. I just like you, and I dont care if you give me something or not. I just like you."
You can tell her upon meeting her :" hey, I like your smile. You seem like a cool person." Thats a way of telling her. Its not invasive, and its genuine.
If she says something you like too and have in common, go ahead and tell her. It doesnt matter if you know that you DONT need her to agree or approve, and youre NOT Saying it to GET APPROVAL from her.
Say it genuinely, 'Hey thats cool you like Battlestar Galactica. Youre a cool chick. I like you."

You're not 'giving' away any 'power'.

You only see things like that if you see yourself in competition for power, and needing acceptance andn approval from her. In which case you approach her very guarded and trying to 'keep' your 'power' over her.

If you are ok with her not liking you or approving you, then your going to be OK.


Now, do you HAVE to tell her?

Well,honestly, no. But you DO have to give her "Positive Feedback".

And a "thats cool." or "thats nice' will do too.

But you can also just grab her hand and hold it and look into her eyes.
She'll know.
It's in the WAY you do it.

FEELING that 'hey, I like you. You have a sexy way about you.And I like it." WHILE you're holding her hand and then pull her closer to you.
The eye contact. The proximity. Your smile. The 'warmth' you exhude.And how comfortable you are.
Guys who do things mechanically are not feeling it. Theyre going through the motions and executing a movement. Thats not real.


Always remember to be cool in your showing your approval and affection for her. Make sure you show it, and dont be embarassed in showing it. And dont be a doof.

She NEEDs to KNOW.
Just like we sometimes complain that we 'cant tell if she like us or not' and she sends 'mixed signals', so do we.

Never apologize for being attracted to a woman.

 

[blackhatter]

You can always tell a woman you 'like' her with no repercussions IF you say with from the right place.
Not "I like you. So...since I told you that, you must like me too."
But: "I like you. But I dont need anything from you. I just like you, and I dont care if you give me something or not. I just like you."
You can tell her upon meeting her :" hey, I like your smile. You seem like a cool person." Thats a way of telling her. Its not invasive, and its genuine.
If she says something you like too and have in common, go ahead and tell her. It doesnt matter if you know that you DONT need her to agree or approve, and youre NOT Saying it to GET APPROVAL from her.
Say it genuinely, 'Hey thats cool you like Battlestar Galactica. Youre a cool chick. I like you."

You're not 'giving' away any 'power'.

You only see things like that if you see yourself in competition for power, and needing acceptance andn approval from her. In which case you approach her very guarded and trying to 'keep' your 'power' over her.

If you are ok with her not liking you or approving you, then your going to be OK.


Now, do you HAVE to tell her?

Well,honestly, no. But you DO have to give her "Positive Feedback".

And a "thats cool." or "thats nice' will do too.

But you can also just grab her hand and hold it and look into her eyes.
She'll know.
It's in the WAY you do it.

FEELING that 'hey, I like you. You have a sexy way about you.And I like it." WHILE you're holding her hand and then pull her closer to you.
The eye contact. The proximity. Your smile. The 'warmth' you exhude.And how comfortable you are.
Guys who do things mechanically are not feeling it. Theyre going through the motions and executing a movement. Thats not real.


Always remember to be cool in your showing your approval and affection for her. Make sure you show it, and dont be embarassed in showing it. And dont be a doof.

She NEEDs to KNOW.
Just like we sometimes complain that we 'cant tell if she like us or not' and she sends 'mixed signals', so do we.

Never apologize for being attracted to a woman.

So how would you go about answering when she says "well do you like me enough to be something?" I get questions like that from girls all the time and it always seems like a trap, so I always dodge it and tell her "I like you and that should be enough" Of course it ends up kicking me in the balls when she starts talking to some other dude and blames it on the fact that I didn't "care" enough.

 

[slaog]

So how would you go about answering when she says "well do you like me enough to be something?" I get questions like that from girls all the time and it always seems like a trap, so I always dodge it and tell her "I like you and that should be enough" Of course it ends up kicking me in the balls when she starts talking to some other dude and blames it on the fact that I didn't "care" enough.

Maybe say you like her when she behaves in a certain way. That tells her you won't tolerate bad behaviour and you're willing to walk away.

 

[n00bPimp]

Lack of social intelligence.

No need for "social" in that phrase.

 

[Interceptor]

You need to be able to QUALIFY her. BUT...
You can ONLY do that well whne you've done your homework beforehand.

Meaning, say you want a GF who HAS to have the same musical taste as you, and perhaps HAS to have her own car or something. If the girl you're seeing asks you that and you KNOW she doesnt have what YOU WANT, then you be honest and tell her that you're not looking to be exclusive with her.
Thats all you have to say.

Girl: "So...do you like me enough to be with me?"

you: "What do you mean?"

Girl: "Well, to be GF and BF like.."

you: "Look, I like you, youre sexy and fun. But I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship. And I dont want to hurt your feelings if thats what youre looking for. But Im not going to lie to you."

Girl: "Ok, well. Then I dont think we should hang out anymore."

you: "OK...I understand and respect your feelings and your decision. "

And be strong, and maintain your Personal Boundary.

Dont be intimidated, forced, cajoled, or guilted into a relationship if you dont want it. And never be forced into a relationship period.
If you want it, then let her know. But if she doesnt want it, you have to be cool with that too.
You cant go around NEEDING a relationship with this one woman.

You have to understand that youre a MAN...
...and MEN are supposed to be with women .
So yes, you NEED women in your life.
But you DONT NEED this PARTICULAR woman.
See?
Theres a difference.

Always maintain your Integrity.
If you dont want to be with her, and she ASK YOU...
...you have GOT to tell her.

"Look, Im not looking to settle down right now."

her:"You mean, you dont want to be with me!"

You: "Listen..I dont want to hurt your feelings. And I DO like you. But that doesnt mean I want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Im sorry, but its true. Im not going to lead you on."

She has to deal with it.But you're not responsible for HOW she takes it,youre responsible for how you SAY it to her. So dont be a d*ck.

And yes, it does hurt. Because you DO Care about her and her feelings, but you just dont want to be in a relationship with her.
You dont HAVE to justify it to her.
But you need to be calm and unreactive. Be cool and be respectful of HER feelings.
And realize that you will have to let her go.
Even if the sex was good, or whatever....
Make peace with that. Because usually you never see them again.

Now if you DO want to be with her. Then demonstrate with action.
Dont be overly verbal with your approval and acceptance.
"Do you like me enough to be something?"
you: "Something meaning?..."

Girl: "You know, BF and GF? OK?"

you: "Well you are kind of cute. Maybe I'll make an exception this time..."

But dont go and start jumping up and down with glee. just be cool.

And be a man of action and demonstrate your caring and affection and loyalty to her. Respect her feelings , and be in alignment with whats good for the both of you, not whats only good for her.

And, again, if you dont want to be with her, then yes, get used to her talking to other dudes and banging them and flaunting it in your face.

Which is not good behavior anyway.
At least shes showing you how she REALLY is.
Dont be angry or possesive or envious of the guy, etc...
Let her do what she wants.
You cant have the cake and eat it too, dude.
Thats your EGO talking. And thats BAD.
You go your way, and let her go hers...

 

[ashman1]

You need to be able to QUALIFY her. BUT...
You can ONLY do that well whne you've done your homework beforehand.

Meaning, say you want a GF who HAS to have the same musical taste as you, and perhaps HAS to have her own car or something. If the girl you're seeing asks you that and you KNOW she doesnt have what YOU WANT, then you be honest and tell her that you're not looking to be exclusive with her.
Thats all you have to say.

Girl: "So...do you like me enough to be with me?"

you: "What do you mean?"

Girl: "Well, to be GF and BF like.."

you: "Look, I like you, youre sexy and fun. But I'm not looking for an exclusive relationship. And I dont want to hurt your feelings if thats what youre looking for. But Im not going to lie to you."

Girl: "Ok, well. Then I dont think we should hang out anymore."

you: "OK...I understand and respect your feelings and your decision. "

And be strong, and maintain your Personal Boundary.

Dont be intimidated, forced, cajoled, or guilted into a relationship if you dont want it. And never be forced into a relationship period.
If you want it, then let her know. But if she doesnt want it, you have to be cool with that too.
You cant go around NEEDING a relationship with this one woman.

You have to understand that youre a MAN...
...and MEN are supposed to be with women .
So yes, you NEED women in your life.
But you DONT NEED this PARTICULAR woman.
See?
Theres a difference.

Always maintain your Integrity.
If you dont want to be with her, and she ASK YOU...
...you have GOT to tell her.

"Look, Im not looking to settle down right now."

her:"You mean, you dont want to be with me!"

You: "Listen..I dont want to hurt your feelings. And I DO like you. But that doesnt mean I want to be in an exclusive relationship with you. Im sorry, but its true. Im not going to lead you on."

She has to deal with it.But you're not responsible for HOW she takes it,youre responsible for how you SAY it to her. So dont be a d*ck.

And yes, it does hurt. Because you DO Care about her and her feelings, but you just dont want to be in a relationship with her.
You dont HAVE to justify it to her.
But you need to be calm and unreactive. Be cool and be respectful of HER feelings.
And realize that you will have to let her go.
Even if the sex was good, or whatever....
Make peace with that. Because usually you never see them again.

Now if you DO want to be with her. Then demonstrate with action.
Dont be overly verbal with your approval and acceptance.
"Do you like me enough to be something?"
you: "Something meaning?..."

Girl: "You know, BF and GF? OK?"

you: "Well you are kind of cute. Maybe I'll make an exception this time..."

But dont go and start jumping up and down with glee. just be cool.

And be a man of action and demonstrate your caring and affection and loyalty to her. Respect her feelings , and be in alignment with whats good for the both of you, not whats only good for her.

And, again, if you dont want to be with her, then yes, get used to her talking to other dudes and banging them and flaunting it in your face.

Which is not good behavior anyway.
At least shes showing you how she REALLY is.
Dont be angry or possesive or envious of the guy, etc...
Let her do what she wants.
You cant have the cake and eat it too, dude.
Thats your EGO talking. And thats BAD.
You go your way, and let her go hers...

Well put ! .