Why can't I ever get with good looking women?

[DJDeMarco]

I always have hopes and beliefs that I'll get the good looking women(7's and above), and I take action. But I never get these women. And, as a result, I feel like my life isn't complete without the ability to get a good looking girl, because I'm not settling for less. Successful in everything, but this. Getting lots of friends, social circle is great, hobbies are solid, money is coming in. But women are frustrating me, and I'd rather not focus on them as it's been 3 years of heartache, anxiety, and negativity from all this pursuing.

I recently pursued a female about my age that works in a local store(about 25 or so). I had to walk up and talk to her myself just to start communicating with me. A lot of the reason I went into the store was just to talk to her. Sometimes, I would, sometimes I wouldn't. Mainly to play games with her and build attraction. She was usually around a few workers, so I had to talk to her in front of workers sometimes to speak with her. I would say things to make her like me and build attraction as well. She seemed fine talking to me, but not attracted or crazy about me, which made me wonder. We didn't have anything in common, but I've dated girls like that before. And after 4 weeks or so of this, I decided to ask her for her number. She said she doesn't date and no to me as well. i told her that was sexist. So, I'm rejected by another single good looking girl. Why is this happening so much?
I'm trying to be the prize, but I understand that I need to do and say things to make a girl like me, so I'm really confused about this. Too much PUA in my game I suppose. I'd be happy to have a ton of good looking women in my life and have people look up to me. Perhaps, I do this for validation, not sure exactly.

 

[RedZone]

Never wait 4 weeks to ask a girl to do something. The faster the better. Honestly, I have a rule where ill do it within the first few days. The longer you wait the worse your chances are.

 

[DJDeMarco]

Never wait 4 weeks to ask a girl to do something. The faster the better. Honestly, I have a rule where ill do it within the first few days. The longer you wait the worse your chances are.

I talked to the girl 5 or 6 times in that timespan, though in very short conversations. I'm in a small town too, so things move a lot slower here

 

[GetFit66]

The point of waiting a little or a lot is to judge & build attraction, you didn't judge attraction well. And if that was your final move you have lost.

When she said no, how did you reply.

 

[Arthy]

To date good looking women, you have to be good looking guy, simple as that.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

To date good looking women, you have to be good looking guy, simple as that.

To date good looking women you have to be an ATTRACTIVE guy.

Being good looking is one aspect of being attractive in a woman's eyes, but there is so much more to it than just that.

OP, you want women that you deem are 7's or better, but are you a 7 or better in your opinion?

Are you in the gym 3-5x a week getting a better body? Do you eat right and take care of yourself?

Do you dress well & have style that fits you?

What do your teeth look like?

What is your personality like?

How would you describe your game?

Give us an example of some of the conversations you were having with this recent chick you were working on?

Instead of going self pity mode, figure out what your doing wrong & fix it. I'm certain if you address everything I mentioned above, your results would be different.








PIMP

 

[DJDeMarco]

To date good looking women you have to be an ATTRACTIVE guy.

Being good looking is one aspect of being attractive in a woman's eyes, but there is so much more to it than just that.

OP, you want women that you deem are 7's or better, but are you a 7 or better in your opinion?

Are you in the gym 3-5x a week getting a better body? Do you eat right and take care of yourself?

Do you dress well & have style that fits you?

What do your teeth look like?

What is your personality like?

How would you describe your game?

Give us an example of some of the conversations you were having with this recent chick you were working on?

Instead of going self pity mode, figure out what your doing wrong & fix it. I'm certain if you address everything I mentioned above, your results would be different.








PIMP

Good stuff, I was just a little frustrated and venting a little bit. I feel 110 % better today.
Yes, I'm lifting weights 2 times a week, doing cardio running 3 times a week, and playing tennis practice matches a couple times a week. I've been losing weight since July, and I eat right during the week, eat out a little on the weekends and indulge then. I keep track of my weight. 5'9 205 right now. I could get to 185, though I look fine now, could look a little better.

Lookswise, I'm a 5-6. Teeth are fine, my dentist always compliments me on my teeth. Gamewise, I try to have fun and not be a a major ******* to women, though teasing them sometimes and keeping things less logical. My personality is on the borderline of extroverted and introverted, though I try to stay social, have fun, and laugh a lot. I try to be laid back though I'm a little high strung and always energetic and doing things.

For style, I dress well, but I'm balding and I'm thinking about shaving it off the next couple days. My hair just isn't getting better with age.

When I first met her, I told her I had seen her around and hadn't talked to her before, and then introduced myself. Asked a little bit about her and had to go shortly after that. During the few times we talked, I asked her how she was doing, where she was from, if she was going to any local ballgames. I would tease her about not eating enough, saying she should eat more among a couple other things. Like I said, it was always hard getting one on one time with her, sometimes having to talk to her in front of co-workers, which isn't preferable, but I dealt with it.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I keep track of my weight.
5'9 205 right now. I could get to 185, though I look fine now, could look a little better.

Lookswise, I'm a 5-6. Teeth are fine, my dentist always compliments me on my teeth. For style, I dress well, but I'm balding and I'm thinking about shaving it off the next couple days. My hair just isn't getting better with age.

.

I don't know your age edit: 25 so no issue there. I don't think your height is the real problem, but 205 sounds way too heavy at that height unless you're lean and buff at that weight.

I think your main problem is balding. I know ratings are subjective but if you're rating yourself as only a 5-6,with balding I'm surprised you can get any girls let alone attractive ones.

Balding is a huge attraction killer with women. It really shouldn't be but it is. It's actually amazing how universal it kills attraction. It appears to be as bad as say missing teeth and having a gapping smile I imagine. About the only guys that can pull it off is guys with shaved heads that are very handsome and masculine guys. Even then it eliminates a lot of their options, and I suspect a lot of them are playing LTR/personality/social circle game where there's some compensation for looks more than in pick up.

I believe to pick up any girls HB1-5s you need to be about a M5-6. To pick up attractive girls HB6-9 you generally need to be a M7-9 and/or have some kind of status gimmick.


I would recommend trying the shaved head look or improving your hair some how.

 

[DJDeMarco]

I don't know your age. I don't think your height is the real problem, but 205 sounds way too heavy at that height unless you're lean and buff at that weight.

I think your main problem is balding. I know ratings are subjective but if you're rating yourself as only a 5-6,with balding I'm surprised you can get any girls let alone attractive ones.

Balding is a huge attraction killer with women. It really shouldn't be but it is. It's actually amazing how universal it kills attraction. It appears tobe as bad as missing teeth and having a gapping smile I imagine. About the only guys that can pull it off is guys with shaved heads that are very handsome and masculine guys. Even then it eliminates a lot of their options, and I suspect a lot of them are playing LTR/personality/social circle game where there's some compensation for looks more than in pick up.

I believe to pick up any girls HB1-5s you need to be about a M5-6. To pick up attractive girls HB6-9 you generally need to be a M7-9 and/or have some kind of status gimmick.


I would recommend trying the shaved head look or improving your hair some how.

I'm 25, i am buff and fit but have more of the Fedor Emelianenko body type. Didn't realize balding could be that bad for me. Older women and average women seem to like me.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I'm 25, i am buff and fit but have more of the Fedor Emelianenko body type. Didn't realize balding could be that bad for me. Older women and average women seem to like me.

Ok then you're not as bad off as you might think. Yes I believe balding can really hurt a guy's ability to attract women. Older women and average women do have lower looks standards than attractive women. But if you can attract any women then there's a possibility and potential to attract better looking ones ocassionally. I would try to improve the look of your hair. Keep in mind though that even an attractive guy isn't normally going to close on more than around 10% of attractive and random women approached. So it is a numbers game. Your location might be a factor with not enough attractive girls.

 

[jay07]

At 5'9 205 you are overweight. Unless your super buff which moght be too big.

Im 5'11 195 at 12%bf and im bigger than most guys i see. And you have 10lbs and two inches shorter.

As for the balding thing i see alot of guys with hot chicks who are balding. I dont think its as bad as some of these guys are making it out to be but id lose about ten lbs, diet and shave ur head. Get a tan, if you dont tan get a fake tan. As metro as it sounds you will notice a difference in ur game. Wear slim fit t shirts after your chest sticks out farther than your gut.

 

[BeDJ]

Stop making this sh!t about your looks, status, physique, etc.

And after 4 weeks or so of this, I decided to ask her for her number. She said she doesn't date and no to me as well. i told her that was sexist. So, I'm rejected by another single good looking girl. Why is this happening so much?

4 weeks, I forget who I dated 2 weeks ago. Have you considered the types of conversations that you have with these women? Post them here and we'll help you improve your approach.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

At 5'9 205 you are obese. I'm the same height as you, but I weigh 175. At your current weight no hb's are gonna give you the time of day. You'll need to cut down to at least 180 to be passable for most attractive women.

 

[sambwoy]

Personally these days I like erotic and pin up art, so its a hobby, and I went through a phase of men's mags. But in real social situations it is just a hope, and I am not just talking romantically but I know that attractiveness does increase/decrease your social status too. I would probably be a burden around unusually attractive people, and hot chicks probably don't wanna know, so instead become accustomed to enjoy male company a lot more, and starting to appreciate my mundane, unglamorous environment where people are celebrated for things they've DONE, not their rock hard abs or a** and t&ts.

To be honest many days my life views are in black and white.

There will come times when I will cross paths with snobby types whose perception of life and logic comes from the media, such as what was talked about on the thread about teenage girls earlier, and that to be honest is one thing I fear in life.

 

[Betterz]

To date good looking women, you have to be good looking guy, simple as that.

Bullsh1t, look at David X

 

[HenryFromNH]

For style, I dress well, but I'm balding and I'm thinking about shaving it off the next couple days. My hair just isn't getting better with age.

This sounds like me. I am having a really hard time with this as well. I just don't think I will look good with a bald dome.

 

[GS750]

If you're balding shave your head. It looks better than thinning hair or a comb over

 

[Johnny Alias]

Shave the head. Do it. NOW.

Work out 4 times a week and do cardio with those days at least 3 times. Stop drinking beer. Do vodka sodas. Set a weight goal and stick to it. Also don't stuff your face over the holidays. Get a tan. Ask chicks what facial hair they like on you and grow it out or shave it. Don't eat WHITE crap (rice, pasta, potatoes, bread). Don't eat that shvt if you're trying to cut and lose weight.

New clothes are huge. They instill confidence. HAVE A WOMAN PICK THEM OUT WITH YOU! Don't assume you have good taste. Get a gal pal to come with you and help. Wait until you've lost the weight.

Dont be needy. Women can see it in your face. They're just effing chicks. They take fat craps just like you do... and they've had value put upon them JUST for being hot... which is going to fade fast and leaves most of them in tears in despair.

A friend of mine used to focus on the least attractive part of the gal he was talking to like her nose or whatever. Helps take her off the pedestal.

Chicks dont know who Fedor is. Remember that. Meet hb's at clubs bars and through friends for now. When you do land one and you will dont get wrapped up in them if they are obviously crazy. Keep at it and set up a pipeline of chicks. Stay detached and ready to walk at repeated signs of BS even in an LTR. They're disposable not indespensible.

Listen to me or not. I pull tons of hot women. I am considered better looking than some but believe me there are plenty of good looking guys that don't get shvt. They don't validate your existence. You need to work on that. You do. Your dreams. What you do for others. Make a list of goals and how you're going to get there.

That's attractive. A man that has accomplished things and wants to accomplish MORE.

 

[Jariel]

Why can't I ever get with good looking women?

The answer to your question IS your question.

We all have an opportunity to create our self perception and our beliefs. If you go through life thinking "I can't get good looking women" then you're imposing this exact limit on yourself. People will sense that you have no belief in yourself, that you consider yourself unworthy, and if you don't value yourself, then nobody else will.

There's a quote that says: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right"

One thing I have learned in the field is that your self perception is EXTREMELY powerful! I'm a good looking guy, muscular and tall, but I have experienced so many rejections and many from average girls, all because I lacked self confidence.

When I was feeling down about myself, after a series of rejections or a break up, or generally not feeling my best, then I would find that I was repelling women. Yet when I was feeling good about myself, when I was spinning plates, the options keep growing and it's as if women sense that you're a man of value and they all want a part of you.

I used to consider the whole "fake it until you make it" attitude a bit delusional, but you don't necessarily have to fake it. Focus on all your positive attributes, carry yourself well and just keep working on being better, more in shape, and learn game, and you will gain genuine confidence from this that will radiate to others.

Meanwhile, I'll leave you with this clip...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIqbVyFCuDw

 

[Renegade357]

To date good looking women, you have to be good looking guy, simple as that.

LOL, so not true. Women will open it up for the biggest toads ever.