Why are you not in a relationship?

[member162951]

The problem here is that you are slipping into her frame.
She asked you a question, demanded an answer, and whatever answer you're gonna give, she's gona judge.

^^You're assuming the person asking was a woman, someone you were romantically interested in.

I didn't see where OP said it was a woman asking, the way I read it was it was a general question anyone would ask and often DO ask.

A co-worker, an acquaintance, a guy at the gym, a perfect stranger!

It's a very common question. People are nosey about it for some reason like they think it's their business.

A curt answer like I first posted would not be the answer I would give to someone I was romantically interested in.

 

[Scaramouche]

I get asked this question a lot.

"Why are you not in a relationship?"

I usually just say because I'm really picky. But I am interested to see what you guys say? I don't think I answer it well

High Superman,
Regrettably your response is emulating mild mannered Clark Kent....
Scarras 23rd Maxim is:The Fortress that would parley has half surrendered!....Our dear Old Queen Bess has gone but she never apologised nor ever explained herself,to do so gives the high ground to the asker,accepts that theirs is the proper decent path to follow....The Spanish gave us the Inquisition,it was usually followed by the Girotte and the Rack!

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

No doubt, but it's not about kinky adventurous sex, it's more abort the mind f*cks and manipulation tactics.
This is what intrigues women (even though they'll deny it) and when you mention Niccolo Machiavelli and his book, they'll be running to their computers, looking him up, wanting to discover all there is to know, their panties dripping the entire time!

I know that, but I'm prefer to find women in person than through a dating app. Thanks for the suggestion though.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

It's always fun to read responses where the person asserts that we "are explaining ourselves"... meanwhile, they're responding to explain themselves on why they disagree. There's lots of irony among this forum.

Well, that’s a strange turn of events. What a shame..
Now I got that surge to take my shot back. I guess you took it personal even though I distinctly included “respectfully” to my counter post. I am speaking directly and not in 3rds.

If we are posting to “explain” ourselves among the members on this forum by commenting then I think that is between the confidential airs of this forum to gain more personal wealth and less crass or dodgy sh1t from women. Sometimes you have to explain the abc’s of womanizing to inquiring minds just to get some traction going.
Explaining it directly to a female? Now that’s a leap of faith and is another story.
Drawing out from your statement, might as well cancel the forum because it ain’t living up to its own creed of mutual exchanges for the cause and that is the irony.
My advice is not for everyone or anybody, they can take the meat and spit out the bones.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

F0ck off, I know both of you aré cool guys. @Giovanni SouthSide @Black Widow Void

water under the bridge, compa

 

[Mertz09]

“It's a very common question. People are nosey about it for some reason like they think it's their business.”

This

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"Define relationship."

 

[devilkingx2]

Haha I dare you to create a profile on your favorite dating app and describe yourself as Dark Triad with a high emphasis on Machiavellianism, and talk about how you emulate 16th-century Italian politician Niccolo Machiavelli as written in his book "The Prince."

Watch how many hits/messages you receive! Lol

You can thank me later.

P.S. I know you have plenty of kittens and don't need to do this. Just sayin, you underestimate how many women love (and can handle just fine) a man with a "dark side."

I don't think any woman knows who Machiavelli is lol.

 

[member162951]

I don't think any woman knows who Machiavelli is lol.

Lol, exactly, which is why they will run to computer with wet panties to find out!
Hello.

 

[member162951]

I know that, but I'm prefer to find women in person than through a dating app. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I don't do dating apps either, that wasn't the point. You could say the same thing to a potential "kitten" lol you meet anywhere, and she'd have same reaction.

My response was to your comment "most women can't handle your dark side," but now that I rethink this, perhaps you're right.

They're "drawn" to a man's dark side, they're "attracted" to a man's dark side, but very very few can "handle" a man's dark side aka Dark Triad characteristics.

There have been studies done proving this, from reputable sources and women themselves admitting.

Some can handle it though. Maybe even enjoy it on some level as dysfunctional as that might sound to some.

They might even possess some DT characteristics themselves - like attracts like.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Some can handle it though. Maybe even enjoy it on some level as dysfunctional as that might sound to some.

I'm sure the consensual kink dynamics I'm involved in would be considered dysfunctional to an outsider.

 

[member162951]

I'm sure the consensual kink dynamics I'm involved in would be considered dysfunctional to an outsider.

If you mean dom/sub, bondage, etc, yeah some might, I simply call it "unconventional" and screw what everyone else thinks!

None of anyone else's business, just like one's relationship status.

I think DT might be different from sexual kink as DT is about mind control and domination.
But I suppose the two can overlap.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't think any woman knows who Machiavelli is lol.

Oh yes my dear. Some do. I have a leather bound copy of The Prince on my bedside table. Right underneath a leather bound collection of love poems. Both of those volumes sit atop a leather bound copy of The Art of War. Bedside reading at its finest, lol.

Not kidding.

My response the few times I have been asked is simply:

“I’m overqualified”. And I laugh.

I’d be totally cheeky because frankly it was refreshing at times NOT to be in a relationship constantly having to be considerate of someone else. I’ve not been unattached very often and never for very long so I’d respond in an amusing way (to me) and not worry about things like this.

Be playful & have fun with it or just be earnest. There’s not really a wrong answer so long as you aren’t devaluing yourself in the response.

 

[kuteguy]

I date women 35+ (up to early 40s). I am not in a relationship because most women [that are still single in this age group] are quite messed up. I don't know if men are messed up or not, I don't date them.

I think about my GFs who were under 35 (when I was also around that age) and they were so amazing in comparison to what I am finding now.

I would date younger than 35+ no probs, but I do feel a little bit 'weird' and 'less than' to date in that age group. Although some of my lovers are 30-33 now, and they dont have a problem at all with a 15 yr age gap, in fact some of them prefer it. However, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them because I think my lovers are not compatible for relationship.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Like Black Widow said...."I'm not going to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship", but then I add "but I'm open to it", because the woman asking that question is leaning toward wanting something serious. Of course if she tries to impose her frame too hard I'm gone.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It's always fun to read responses where the person asserts that we "are explaining ourselves"... meanwhile, they're responding to explain themselves on why they disagree. There's lots of irony among this forum.

Lolz when the offense huddles up, do they let the defense listen in?

 

[Solomon]

I usually tell the truth. I've been in a few LTRs and haven't found a suitable replacement since the last one ended.

Yup or I say variation usually

"Haven't found the right one yet"

 

[BadBoy89]

I get asked this question a lot.

"Why are you not in a relationship?"

I usually just say because I'm really picky. But I am interested to see what you guys say? I don't think I answer it well

I usually say “Because you haven’t set me up with someone yet.”