Why are there so many LTRs Between childless men and single moms?

[B80]

Although there are maybe more women in 30's without kids in this era ,most of them are desperate to have them.

So you almost end up in a similar parallel to watching out for gold diggers... in other words not necessarily completely interested in you as such. Basically sperms donor diggers. OK for flings, but need to be extra careful about condoms.

May work for some, but at 41 and no wish for further children, I'm almost more tempted by a single woman with 1 kid for a relationship than getting pressured by someone who's driven by the expiring body clock. I've seen it happen, my brother had it. Ended up splitting up after ongoing pressure to sell their houses, buy 1 together and have kids after a year of knowing each other. She met someone else within a year and was pregnant.

Could work out but 50 % divorce rate and not really being out of honeymoon phase before making the biggest commitment you can in life...odds aren't looking good to me.

Good luck finding a 20's or 30's childless woman for anything beyond a fling who has no interest in having them.

 

[B80]

I think this board drastically underestimates how many lonely desperate thirsty men are out there. Guys that haven’t had a girlfriend in a few years, guys that probably haven’t gone on a date in 2021 yet but have tried their ass off. It’s harder to get a girlfriend these days for the average guy than ever in history. It really is. Women don’t need to be in a relationship with you when they can go from guy to guy after short stints of month or two “relationships”. DUDES ARE DESPERATE OUT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD! I’ve seen it.

Yeah 1 chap at my gym was 40 no kids and was with woman with 2 kids and no interest in more. Not a bad looking chap and had decent personality but his relationship didn't sound appealing to me. Dad wasn't around so pretty each every weekend was spent with her and kids. Hard enough with your own, but giving up most your weekends to trawl around with someone else's doesn't sound like a fruitful way to spend your life.

 

[B80]

I don't have a problem dating single moms, but I'm a single dad. I find that they are more understanding about seeing you because they know how it is. I do have rules though, I prefer that they only have one kid. If they have two, then they better have the same dad and she better really bring something to the table (like good career). But, if I didn't have a kid then I would not date single moms.

Spot on, same perspective as me. I think some of the single mums stuff goes wayyy to far on here at times.

 

[SW15]

Although there are maybe more women in 30's without kids in this era ,most of them are desperate to have them.

I agree. I have an easy time finding childless women in their 30s.

So you almost end up in a similar parallel to watching out for gold diggers... in other words not necessarily completely interested in you as such. Basically sperms donor diggers. OK for flings, but need to be extra careful about condoms.

Good idea.

Could work out but 50 % divorce rate and not really being out of honeymoon phase before making the biggest commitment you can in life...odds aren't looking good to me.

Also good idea.

I think this board drastically underestimates how many lonely desperate thirsty men are out there. Guys that haven’t had a girlfriend in a few years, guys that probably haven’t gone on a date in 2021 yet but have tried their ass off. It’s harder to get a girlfriend these days for the average guy than ever in history. It really is. Women don’t need to be in a relationship with you when they can go from guy to guy after short stints of month or two “relationships”. DUDES ARE DESPERATE OUT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD! I’ve seen it.

I don't know if the board underestimates it. I believe male thirst is the real pandemic.

 

[Bigpapa]

Women are actually the gatekeepers of both sex and relationships in a free sexual market place.

Briffault's Law - “ the female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place .”

The only thing a man can gatekeep is his high-value and superior seed if he's an Alpha. And his high-value is determined by women, not himself.

Women own the landscape in a free sexual market place. That's why our ancestors tried to control women's ability to select their mates. When a woman has ultimate power to exercise her true sexual nature then it turns most men into simps because of the power imbalance.

the problem with men trying to control women is that after a while society will breed week men that will try to domesticate women by brute force

look at the less developed countries , most men are dead beats that just stay and drink in their free time and when the woman tells him that he is a dead beat he beats her , in the hopes that he will show who is the boss

I understand the so called female liberation , and looking at the big picture it is pure jungle law , just as capitalism is

if the men would have remained strong , then the women would not wanted to be be liberated

tell a woman that you do not want her anymore , and you will not get rid of her

tell a woman that you want her from the bottom of your heart , and she will run away slowly but surely

men have to toughen up

And be more like Ali G

 

[Lookatu]

A flipside to this is there is always a possibility that the guy promised the girl the world and didn't hold up his bargain and ran away from his responsibilities. This would be the other side of it.

Now after the guy runs off and how the girl proceeds to live her life after that is another story. Some find a good guy and some don't. Some turn into carousel riders. Some turn into bitter and jaded ho's.

I have a cousin that's been together with a single mom for 2 years now. She just bought her own house earlier this year and he's moved in with her. Thinking marriage is on the table in the near future.

I had my doubts but I recently visited him a couple months ago. I have to say that his gf seems to be a good mom and wife material. She made and served us food and drinks. She knows how to ride motorcycles, atv's, knows how to properly attach worms on a fishing rod, etc. She's a good hybrid between having tom boy like skills but looking and acting feminine.

I guess time will tell...

My point is don't disqualify someone just because they have a kid. If the girl checks all other boxes except that one, you may miss out on something good. Heaven forbid there are already less and less attractive, slim, submissive, and feminine women in the world today.

 

[Robert28]

Yeah 1 chap at my gym was 40 no kids and was with woman with 2 kids and no interest in more. Not a bad looking chap and had decent personality but his relationship didn't sound appealing to me. Dad wasn't around so pretty each every weekend was spent with her and kids. Hard enough with your own, but giving up most your weekends to trawl around with someone else's doesn't sound like a fruitful way to spend your life.

Some dudes have tasted what loneliness is like and they’re ok with eating a **** sandwich if they get the chance. Loneliness is a powerful thing. When a guy says he’s lonely he really means it, when a woman says she’s lonely or single it means she still has tons of options but none she wants.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Yeah 1 chap at my gym was 40 no kids and was with woman with 2 kids and no interest in more. Not a bad looking chap and had decent personality but his relationship didn't sound appealing to me. Dad wasn't around so pretty each every weekend was spent with her and kids. Hard enough with your own, but giving up most your weekends to trawl around with someone else's doesn't sound like a fruitful way to spend your life.

This forum over rates the importance of a guys looks. As long as you're not a fat slob, you should be okay.

 

[metalwater]

If my only options was single moms in the location I live then I'd probably try and relocate. I would never want to reward single moms with my attention. There has to be consequences to blowing up your family, and we all know that hypergamous women are the primary instigators of divorce and breaking family's apart.

"Oh but he was abusive" she will say. Then why did you have kids with him? (That's assuming they are actually his kids and not a secret Alpha's kids).





Behave

the opposing viewpoint, just for discussion.

the reason is the 5% or less of men that have learned to trick the poor dedicated women who only have the best intentions. some guy comes along and plays with her emotions knowing that she is only a woman and is hostage to her own feelings. he then runs HIS hampster to explain that it would be another guy if not him. yes, another of the 5% for sure.

the villain is the guy.
the female is just being what it is.

is hypergamy increasing or is the 5% getting better at the game and or more thirsty.

isn't it true that in isolation that same woman will behave for years until one of the 5% comes along to mess with her and he chooses to break up her family because of his greed?

do we really give the alpha or whatever we call it a pass when we know he is out actively looking for this situation to play?

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

The grinding pain of scarcity mindset and thirst is enough to make a man drop all his standards.

The reality is if a man had an option between a beautiful single mom, or a beautiful virgin then what would be choose? We all know the answer. Men who date single moms don't have the option.

What about a beautiful single mom and a beautiful childless woman

 

[B80]

Alphas only settle when they get old and their SMV starts to fall (think George Clooney).

Abundance of Beautiful Women and Settling with One Woman are not at all reconcilable

Interesting reading your views. When you say alpha are you talking about someone who is 'top tier' across most spectrums ie looks, finances, status, game, mentality, character etc or just went it comes to gaming/attracting women?

I think it's rare, less than 5%, if it all exists in the real world for any male to be 'alpha' in all tiers.

Most men have will have weakness, or at least 1 weaker area.

We know some are certainly more 'alpha' than others in general, but there's usually someone who exceeds your capabilities in one or 2 facets, regardless who you are.

The term conjures a cartoon-like/super hero character to me that doesn't exist.

 

[metalwater]

I see what you mean, but I think that this is getting dangerously close to a White Knight mentality.

Females rely on men viewing them as the helpless victims of manipulation in a sexual union between a man and a woman. In reality, a woman makes a decision to sleep with a guy she's attracted to prior to screening him and ensuring he's committed. She is wreckless when she's getting tingles and takes the risk because she knows that she has dependable Betas to turn to when she gets tired of pursuing the top-tier men.

Yes, we are saying the same thing. probably doesn't change our behavior, just makes us honest. If the guy knows how to apply the tingles and knows she will follow them and then does it. I mean I don't blame water for running downhill.

I hold to my often challenging position that a man should protect his turf and that it is hmm beta to not do so.

Assigning blame to water for being water is just silly. The ones directing how it flows are the real cause.

The reason for the single mother is often because a wise man placed tingles strategically. Being aware of that I don't think makes anyone a white night. It is simply assigning proper cause and effect. We know how it works, with knowledge comes responsibility.

I used to know an old lady, and before she dies she told me why she never went to church. It was because she did not want the responsibility of the knowledge. She thought that if she did not know she would not be accountable.

All the negative behaviours of the women still hold true. She will follow the tingles and also has a calculator and will like to maximise both.
All I am saying is the guy inserting tingles is not a victim.

 

[MatureDJ]

It's very simple - women have lost the shame of being single mommies, either via being knocked up in or outside of marriage by a man that had no intention of staying with her, or by flippantly divorcing good husbands because they didn't "feel it" with them, and thus there is a large proportion of such women around. On the flip side, the Chads who had knocked them up move on to younger, childless women, thus removing women from that part of the dating market - and there are even Chad-mates in waiting as some single women hold out to try and bag a Chad; Trump is a good example of this as he has controlled the sexuality of 3 different high-quality women. This results in the Normies having very few decent childless women to date - so these normies have to accept a bitter reality - that the only way they are going to get an otherwise decent woman is to get one that had already birthed Chad's spawn.

As someone who had attempted, because of the total lack of decent single women around (mid '90s), to date single mommies (but always bailed out after the 1st date because of the total embarrassment I felt about becoming a stepfather ), I understand this. The mommies always seemed to have wedding pics with their Chad ex-husbands on the wall, and I could almost hear him saying, "hey loser, YOU pay for my kids". Resolving to not giving into that temptation - even at the cost of incelibacy with non-professionals - is the existential Normie's struggle. LocationMaxxing has been my ticket out of this Dark Place.

 

[MatureDJ]

This childlessness gap is more pronounced for men in their 30s and 40s. A childless man who is in a committed, exclusive relationship with a single mom is a beta. It's less beta if he has kids with her, but she'll always have a kid from another man and he'll always be a beta.

I wouldn't call a father being with a single mommie as being Beta, so long as he makes it fully known that his money goes to support HIS spawn, not that of her ex . Indeed, were I to finally knock up a woman , it would free me to start dating single mommies, and with the great excuse of "I've already got a family, so all I can give you is my pen!s".

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm a little less cynical about it, but there's some truth to that. A lot of the time, a couple will have a child, but then things don't work out. The father is not necessarily an "alpha", but many times he might be a deadbeat (which passes for about the same thing on PUA forums). The woman usually gets custody, so now we have a single mother.

Since she has a kid, it drops her value some. So she may have to lower her sites a bit when looking for a mate and provider (if she wants one). She may glom onto some guy who hasn't had a lot of success with women. This guy has the added benefit that he isn't having to pay child support for some nonexistent kid, since he hasn't been able to pass on his genes. So he may have extra resources available to provide for his new ready made family. Or if he doesn't have resources, at least the woman isn't lonely.

The problem is that unless he's just coming over to bang her and nothing more, he will inevitably being a provider of some sort.

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm actually with a single mother now who gave me a child, she had my child and during her whole pregnancy hated me and rarely talked to me.

Of course she hates you - you were the Beta that she had to rope in to have a man around to help care for the spawn of the Chad that got to lay fresh poon.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

The term conjures a cartoon-like/super hero character to me that doesn't exist.

And most of the guys on this site talking all big are pretending to be this mythical fictional character because they finally found a place on Earth where people will take them seriously (albeit a fictionalized version of themself).

 

[derby1]

This is BluePill denial of female nature. Understanding dualistic Female Mating Strategy is Step 1 of unplugging from the matrix. Women want the high-value man's seed, but high-value abundent men don't commit because of options. It's pretty easy to understand this. Men only commit when they are in scarcity mindset. A men with unlimited options to sleep with beautiful women just isn't motivated to commit, and if he did "commit" then he'd be cheating on her all the time.

This is black and white thinking and sounds very good on paper,
however 99.9% of people do not hang around or have the social circle of Demi-gods

normal everyday women are getting pregnant by normal every day guys

on your basis, when I did date single moms back in my blue pill days, and the dad collected his kid on the weekend I should have expected Thor to knock the the door. Nope normal everyday skinny guy turned up 12 stone wet through

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

This is black and white thinking and sounds very good on paper,
however 99.9% of people do not hang around or have the social circle of Demi-gods

normal everyday women are getting pregnant by normal every day guys

on your basis, when I did date single moms back in my blue pill days, and the dad collected his kid on the weekend I should have expected Thor to knock the the door. Nope normal everyday skinny guy turned up 12 stone wet through

Yep.

Although... Even though he's a "normal skinny guy," that doesn't mean he doesn't have alpha qualities. Perhaps he stands up for himself when dealing with females. Perhaps he has a good job and/or is highly motivated and energetic. Perhaps he's good in bed.

These guys on talking like they are some cartoonish alpha character don't realize that they are actually submitting to females by changing their whole personalities into what they think the female wants to see. They have some issue of why their "real self" isn't good enough. They aren't comfortable in their real skin (maybe have lost site of it) so they're stuck mimicking some fictional alpha character that they maybe saw on TV.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

A lot of fukking losers and idiots knock up women and don't stick around, or are dumped. I don't mean losers like your deadbeat "alpha" archetype, either. All it takes is two people to have sex and one accident (or half-accident) and a willingness to carry the baby to term. LTRs fall apart even in the best of times, let alone with a new mouth to feed. If the woman is still in her child bearing years then she will still think she can do better if the guy sucks, and she will act on it. Most of these dads are not bada$$es riding from town to town like The Wild One and knocking up women. There are a few like that, but 98% of men are blue pilled wusses, including those who got one past the goalie. Even your typical NBA star who knocks up 10 women and doles out child support is not half as learned about women as you are right now, reading this.

All that aside, I recommend not dating single moms, only because there will always be the presence of an interloper (the dad) no matter how "alpha" he is (note: probably not). As far as the dual mating strategy, exciting her vs. having resources, here's a tip: Be both. You'll blow the competition out of the water. (But be smart.)

A lot of talk in the "manosphere" about how feminism ruined the traditional family.

But some loser wannabe "alpha" running out on their kids does the same thing.