Why are my friends such chumps?

[Industry]

I have realized something here --- my friends are fvcking gay! They are little girls and I've never seem them hit on a girl before in my life. One has a g/f and supplicates to her every need and asks her if he can go out with me. "Honey, can I go to a bar with Brian?"

When we do go out, I have to put everything together and force them to go.... otherwise they'll sit at home or go to a guys bar. I start the conversation with a girl and they try to come in and act all cool and fvck it up for me. Then when I ask them why they don't hit on a girl themselves all they say is "Man chill I get my fair share of play." This is coming from a guy who couldn't hit on a manican and I've only seen with a girl once.

Where are all the real men out there who want to go out and have a good time? If you live in Orange County, CA and want to go pimping hit me up here or PM me.

I'm a little bitter as you can tell. I was hoping that after my 2+ yr relationship ended I'd be able to find at least one guy that could go out and be confident and meet women with me. But they all are content in their hole and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.



Lates,

Industry

 

[One on One]

This is the RAFC problem. I have it as well. The people I know from high school are chumps. They go out to restaurant bars and sit around talking about sports and making guy jokes. Yeah, that is okay sometimes, but when I go out, I'd like to involve girls somehow. Whenever a girl is around, I always end up getting all the attention with the other guys asking dumb questions and acting all nice and interested in her life while I give her crap and she eats it up. Last weekend, my friend said a girl looked like Britney Spears. I was like, dammit, yes she does so I end up approaching her knowing it would never cross my friend's mind to do so and I did it with his idea that she looked like him. It sucks...these guys are terrified of girls.

Now, in college, I've made a new group of friends that are all about the pimping. We aren't all getting much play at all, but we do try and make efforts. We go clubbing, approach girls, and, basically, push each other to improve. I feel so much closer to these friends. We can freely talk about our problems, insecurities, and whatever without worrying about the critique of a jealous AFC. We buy each other drinks, make bets about approaching girls, and talk about **** like that...that's the **** that self improvement is made of. My AFC friends from high school don't even buy each other drinks. It's always like a freaking calculation who owes how much. I'm just using these old friends right now to try and make the right connections to some cool people.

Just work on getting new friends, man. Wish I lived in OC.

 

[die4me]

Originally posted by Industry
I have realized something here --- my friends are fvcking gay! They are little girls and I've never seem them hit on a girl before in my life. One has a g/f and supplicates to her every need and asks her if he can go out with me. "Honey, can I go to a bar with Brian?"

When we do go out, I have to put everything together and force them to go.... otherwise they'll sit at home or go to a guys bar. I start the conversation with a girl and they try to come in and act all cool and fvck it up for me. Then when I ask them why they don't hit on a girl themselves all they say is "Man chill I get my fair share of play." This is coming from a guy who couldn't hit on a manican and I've only seen with a girl once.

Where are all the real men out there who want to go out and have a good time? If you live in Orange County, CA and want to go pimping hit me up here or PM me.

I'm a little bitter as you can tell. I was hoping that after my 2+ yr relationship ended I'd be able to find at least one guy that could go out and be confident and meet women with me. But they all are content in their hole and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.



Lates,

Industry

I understand you past completely. I'm in the same situation and I end up going out solo even though I don't necessarily like to travel around solo, since you have to build up everything from scratch.

 

[Julian]

Sux for you man. I try and surround myself with people who are similar to me and like minded. Thats mainly the reason i only have 1 good friend. Everyone else is obsolete and expendable.

 

[Krassus]

I hear ya!

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35146

 

[TesuqueRed]

Industry, man, you sound so primed for breaking out---

Consider this--your current friends aren't putting up. If a date gave you the lame time that your friends are giving you, you'd next them.

But these are friends, right? Different set of rules, right?

To a certain point, sure. I suppose you can be AFC regarding your friends as you are with women. That's inaccurately stated--by that I mean that many guys here will hang far too long with friends who are holding them back when they've clearly outgrown them and are ready to move on.

"But they're friends!" they say, "We've gone way back, and, sure, things are kinda lame and occasionally they'll stab me in the back, but bro's before ho's, right?" etc.

There's some truth there, but they're over-playing it. They will be friends and you can always hook up again. What I hear is a similar excuse-making that AFCs do regarding their one-itis.

If you're ready to move on and your friends can't keep up, move on anyway. I suppose an unstated step to learning and approaching women is that first you probably need to learn how to establish a new social circle. Half the effort of approaching women is already taken care of at that point---expanded social circles and skills will already have done half the work.

And this doesn't mean you ditch your old friends--they just less of your time, which they deserve.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Very good thread Gentlemen. Yes we all have those dumbass friends who don't have the guts to better/improve their current situation, and will sabotage your effords if you dare try to improve yourself. Its time to cut them off, at least as someone you spend a lot of time with. Time to chop off the bad wood, what is not working in your life, including the people.

As a consolation, I want you guys to realize that the fact that most guys are chumps who are totally clueless in dealing with the female species, is a good thing. The better skilled men will rise to the top. If everyone had the skills, there would be a lot more competition. This is why America is the Land Of Opportunity. Only you can set your limits.

 

[duke007]

I'm a bit pissed at my friends at the moment. They don't look like changing anytime soon, and arranging a night out is like pulling teeth.

What I don't get is, if I was once like them and I convinced myself to change and be a better person, why are they immune to my efforts to help them become DJs?

Why do they just palm off my advice like I'm becoming a jerk player? I know they want better luck, so if a good trusted friend is using techniques that are getting him success why on EARTH don't they want to join me?

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by duke007
I'm a bit pissed at my friends at the moment. They don't look like changing anytime soon, and arranging a night out is like pulling teeth.

What I don't get is, if I was once like them and I convinced myself to change and be a better person, why are they immune to my efforts to help them become DJs?

Why do they just palm off my advice like I'm becoming a jerk player? I know they want better luck, so if a good trusted friend is using techniques that are getting him success why on EARTH don't they want to join me?

We can all understand your pain here (they are friends, right?) But--to answer you point by point--this is what I hear:

paragraph 1: why am I wasting my time?
paragraph 2: why am I wasting my time?
paragraph 3: why am I wasting my time?

Notice that you are wasting your time? Asking "Why" is really more of a rant here, it isn't a useful question. We could get into the Psychology Today version of why this is (and I and others will do so if you like)--but I wouldn't keep wasting time and energy on them.

If getting an evening planned is like pulling teeth, you're doing something wrong. There may be no way of doing it right--the wrong thing you're doing is attempting to do it at all. Don't ignore that "pulling teeth" feeling--it means you shouldn't be doing this.

 

[Titus]

Originally posted by Industry
I have realized something here --- my friends are fvcking gay! They are little girls and I've never seem them hit on a girl before in my life. One has a g/f and supplicates to her every need and asks her if he can go out with me. "Honey, can I go to a bar with Brian?"

When we do go out, I have to put everything together and force them to go.... otherwise they'll sit at home or go to a guys bar. I start the conversation with a girl and they try to come in and act all cool and fvck it up for me. Then when I ask them why they don't hit on a girl themselves all they say is "Man chill I get my fair share of play." This is coming from a guy who couldn't hit on a manican and I've only seen with a girl once.

Where are all the real men out there who want to go out and have a good time? If you live in Orange County, CA and want to go pimping hit me up here or PM me.

I'm a little bitter as you can tell. I was hoping that after my 2+ yr relationship ended I'd be able to find at least one guy that could go out and be confident and meet women with me. But they all are content in their hole and don't plan on leaving anytime soon.



Lates,

Industry

You are just as much of a chump as they are. The only reason you posted this is to show to yourself and to us, that you are something more then them, while in truth, you are the same. You are just filling your ego.

 

[WingS]

exactly the same with me....they are **** scared of girls

 

[Krassus]

Re: Re: Why are my friends such chumps?

Originally posted by Titus
You are just as much of a chump as they are. The only reason you posted this is to show to yourself and to us, that you are something more then them, while in truth, you are the same. You are just filling your ego.

Do us a favor and get off this board? It's for DJs and aspiring DJs only, not for AFCs who try to boost their ego by ridiculing our techniques. Thanks in advance!

 

[don_juan_20]

We need WingMan personals. That way we can find good non-afc partners to club or go to bars with.


Anyone in Toronto? heh

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

Industry, mate,
Trust me, i know where ur comming from, in a matter of fact, it happened to me last thursday... i was at a uni party, i thought it would be nice catching up with my AFC friends from high school, so i invited them to come with me... anyway, whilst at the party i've met this beautiful (9/10) chick i've seen a couple of times at uni, she was pissed, i was sober, we got some kino going and then, she did the unthinkable... she asked me to introduce her (and her friends, who were with her at the time) to my mates... unwillingly i obeyed her and, unsurprisingly, my friends started acting like total wimps: they were talking too much, their body movement was gay and they were looking at me like as if they'd just spoke to madona, pamela anderson, cindy crawford and jennifer lopez... anywho, thanx to their wimpness, i fvcked it up with this chick as my AFC friends scared her off.. but theyr still my friends, i still luv them... what i do is hang around different groups of friends, thats what u should do... when im in a picking up mood, i go out with my uni semi DJ friends; when im in the mood of playing Nintendo 64 at someones house, i spend the nightt with my AFC wimpish friends... as simple as that! i know how u feel, after that night i felt like never seeing them again, but uve gotta accept them for what they are...WIMPS.

 

[Industry]

First off, Titus, FVCK YOU! For a boy who doesn't ever contribute much to this board you sure have a lot of balls to post that. I have no need to fill my ego and why the hell would I do it here anyways? If I wanted to feed my ego I'd go bragging about something to friends that I actually interact with personally. So my question to you is... what's up your ass little one?

To all the real men who posted replys, thank you. It sucks trying to become a confident man when there is no one around you willing to do the same. Everyone else shy's away from interaction with females when in actuality, there's very little difference between us. Once I realized this, it got easy very fast. I no longer go up to women thinking of myself as a "C0ck Salesman." I'm just another human being who happens to be of a different gender.... and that's how simple it is my friends.

Go get em.

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

Titus, ur a F'ing bastard, the whole point of this forum, as far as im concerned, is helping our fellow DJ's out... unfortunately, u dont give a fvck and all ur trying to do is down-grade Industry..

Industry, Good on u, keep up the good attitude it'll get u far with the ladies

ciao my friend,

IrReSiStIbLe.

 

[MrSmooth]

I'm hearing ya Industry, sounds like some of those friends of yours are where I was a few months ago - stuck in a LTR cos you are too frickin lazy to break up and don't have the balls to go and get some fresh pvssy. Maybe you gotta take it up a level and do some soloing? I'm considering it myself cos I have only one wingman ATM and he is not a total AFC but no DJ either ... he's a weird one actually.

He can dance pretty good (club dancing i mean) and so every week he goes out to this same joint and just dances all night - we're talkin till dawn here - but never rolls in on babes. Cos he dances well, usually some chick on the floor will dig him and he'll dance away with her for a while and sometimes get a number or something. I used to think that was a pretty good effort! Me, if I see a hottie, I don't want to have to shake it for hours in the hope she might come over and get friendly ... I think (now) that you gotta roll in and gauge her interest ASAP, if its there keep going other wise NEXT! So yeah any dudes in canberra who wanna hit up some HBs lemme know

 

[ASav]

Great thread and great points here guys.

In the situation described above when you introduce some girls to your friends and they fuk it up, I've tried this before with decent results: If you have decent rapport with a one or more of the chicks, leave all of them for a while. Let them bore each other to death. When you return liven up the conversation by being the center of attention. The girls and your buddies are all glad to see you again! Pull off the one you are interested in and get the digits or whatever you feel the need to do.

 

[vdk]

Titus, you either post constructive comments or shut the fuk up.

In regards to this thread, I think the only way to show your friends the 'light' is to give them the website address of this site. So far I've given it to 2 good friends. One of them dismissed the site as 'stupid', while the other one can't stop thanking me. (This guy owes me beers ).

 

[IrReSiStIbLe]

Hey ASav, good point.. yeh, but i guess she would have left b4 i would have had the chance to come back.. she was pissed... and her attention span was short... but i know where ur getting mate

tdk, yeh, thats a good idea... i'll show it to them... but i doubt a website will change their ways of thinking... theyr SSO Fuking shy uve got no idea... but oh well... ppl change with time.. not every1 is as privaliged as us...