Why Are Men Shamed For Wanting A Relationship?

[Hamurabimbi]

I think u mean exclusive. Why would u, as a man, want to be exclusive with one chick if your not planning on starting a family with her?

Women demand it. Not saying I’m ‘Alpha’. Sadly, I’m probably not.

 

[TheCharmingGuy]

Does anyone else not think this is extremely weird? That Men are actively shamed if they show any intention of wanting to find a Girlfriend/Wife.

Men are called "desperate" and "needy" if they say they want a relationship, even though human beings are social creatures and it is perfectly normal to want a relationship. Not everybody wants to be alone or a player for the rest of their lives.

What do people expect men to do, if they cannot actively look for a relationship? I just find this whole thing really weird, why has society tried so hard to normalise shaming men for wanting a relationship?

I've noticed this phenomenon both online and off-line, but I have never seen anyone actually talk about it.

Never have seen this happening before. My goal is an intimate relationship and I have never felt “shamed”.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Shamed? I don't think that's the right word. Most guys who want relationships do it coming from a place of lack and need which ends up undermining their relationship. They want a relationship because they are afraid they will lose her otherwise and his response is to try and lock her down as quickly as possible.

The woman has to be the one pushing for the relationship and feel like you have made her earn it so to speak. She should be the one trying to lock YOU down.

Wild stallions don't run into the barn and lock themselves in. They have to be tamed.

Nature has rules it follows and when men try to go against nature's rules it doesn't work out very well for them in the end.

 

[metalwater]

The type of damaged goods described here. This is an age old criticism of red pill pua tricks since the mid 00s. Cheap gimmics tend to work on low quality women.

At the end of the day, people like the OP want good women to have a relationship with even if it means looking in churches.

churches have good and bad girls. same wrappers. also, they have good and bad men.
applying red pill knowledge in a decent church should result in finding decent quality.

 

[corrector]

Talking about relationships, a song like this:

has over half-a-BILLION clicks on youtube.

That's more than the population of the USA and Canada combined!

The song is literally about an hb8 chick saying she wants to have a relationship with you -- she could be the "one".

That shows that lots of people badly want a relationship with an hb8+ or at least have a fantasy of one by playing such a music video.

 

[RangerMIke]

A man saying he wants a relationship is like a man wanting to be hired for a job. All you can do is make an effort show up like a man, and if the woman wants you it's her call... just like the hiring manager at a company.

Treat a relationship like a job... and the chick as the hiring manager.

It's okay to want a relationship, it's another thing to want a relationship with a particular woman, or worst NEED a relationship.

Some chicks are great hiring managers... they know what they want, and if you fit the bill, you get hired and everything works great. When she is no longer satisfied with your performance as boyfriend, she just cuts you loose.... no suffering you are just done.

Most chicks... well the honest truth is... are terrible hiring managers. They don't know what they want, it is hard to please them. They on consistently expect more out of you than you are capable of giving her. So she tortures you... and become a 'bad' partner, until you either just up and quit, or she FINALLY pushes your buttons enough where you do something stupid... then she 'fires you for cause'.

 

[typical]

Men conquer rivers forests mountains and countries. They build empires and castles. A man is supposed to leave his mark on this world as a legacy of having achieved something great. And if you don't then you're squandering the gifts given to you by nature. So what are you doing to leave behind a legacy and leave people in awe of you ? Or have you given up and accepted the mediocre existence this modern world has given you.

Women want to marry such a man as its the easiest path to success without the effort.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

A man saying he wants a relationship is like a man wanting to be hired for a job. All you can do is make an effort show up like a man, and if the woman wants you it's her call... just like the hiring manager at a company.

Treat a relationship like a job... and the chick as the hiring manager.

It's okay to want a relationship, it's another thing to want a relationship with a particular woman, or worst NEED a relationship.

Some chicks are great hiring managers... they know what they want, and if you fit the bill, you get hired and everything works great. When she is no longer satisfied with your performance as boyfriend, she just cuts you loose.... no suffering you are just done.

Most chicks... well the honest truth is... are terrible hiring managers. They don't know what they want, it is hard to please them. They on consistently expect more out of you than you are capable of giving her. So she tortures you... and become a 'bad' partner, until you either just up and quit, or she FINALLY pushes your buttons enough where you do something stupid... then she 'fires you for cause'.

facts

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you spend enough time with women you will realize just how disastrous they are.

Women are complete pain in the ass.

 

[Barrister]

I have never seen a man get "shamed" for wanting a relationship. When a man is told by a woman she doesn't want a relationship with him, it simply means she has medium or low interest in him (not high enough to fully commit to). No woman is out there that ever wants to be single. Women are very selective in who they want to be with long term (usually). @RangerMIke nailed how they screen (sometimes improperly) for this.

 

[Blacksheep]

Does anyone else not think this is extremely weird? That Men are actively shamed if they show any intention of wanting to find a Girlfriend/Wife.

Men are called "desperate" and "needy" if they say they want a relationship, even though human beings are social creatures and it is perfectly normal to want a relationship. Not everybody wants to be alone or a player for the rest of their lives.

What do people expect men to do, if they cannot actively look for a relationship? I just find this whole thing really weird, why has society tried so hard to normalise shaming men for wanting a relationship?

I've noticed this phenomenon both online and off-line, but I have never seen anyone actually talk about it.

The ones who call you desperate or needy, or anything with an eye of criticism are only projecting themselves into you.

Nothing wrong wanting that. Nothing wrong with men who have feelings or want to love or feel loved by someone.

Ignorant people judge others like you described. Wise people understands and give useful feedbacks to make you grow and also understand their point of view. But with not label inside their words.

The more we stop wasting time with such kind of people, the better our life becomes.

 

[Robert28]

Goodness gracious, where the HELL are you meeting such women? Jesus.

Change your demographic, stay out of the clubs. And off Tinder.

Lord! Lol

I haven’t been to a club in YEARS. I stopped with online dating back in 2018. You’d be surprised where you meet crappy women. Some have popped up from my past, they turned me down back in the day and are ready to date now. Some I meet random places, just depends. Just because you meet a woman in everyday life doesn’t mean she is going to be any good.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

So basically Women have to be the ones making us go into a relationship?

Women secretly desire relationship (to get access to man's resources), men control the access to relationships, (Because we are the decision makers on this. Meaning we decide if we want her in our life or not, not the other way around).

To slim it down to a easier to understand context:
Women are the gatekeepers of sex.
Men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

 

[Kotaix]

who is doing this? I haven't seen this anywhere

 

[Bokanovsky]

I haven’t noticed this.

Me neither.

 

[B80]

Men are more likely to be shamed by others knowing they dont want a relationship.

The dynamic around women being turned off by men pushing for relationships has always been there, at least from late 90's when I started dating, going out.