why are guys scared to approach?

[todd.ian]

I don't know how many of you have heard of evolutionary psychology, but a lot of what you'll read on sosuave is basically derived from the field.

For those of you who don't know anything about it, the core idea of evolutionary psychology is that our genes determine a lot of our behaviour. For example, a mother would never sacrifice her own child, even if it saved a hundred other children, because her genes are in her child not the other hundred. Similarly, women don't go for AFCs because they want to give there genes the best chance of making it into the future.

I've been reading a few books about the subject, "The Blank Slate" by Stephen Pinker is a good one to start if you're interested, but there's one thing I can't work out.

Why is it that guys are scared to approach women?

I mean, genetically it's suicide not to. Unless you work hard to do whats in your genes best interest, you're not going to pass them on, and if you're not going to pass on your genes you might as well kill yourself now for all evolution cares.

Writing this a few ideas come to mind. For example, most people agree that the reason men are competitive is because the most competitive man is the one that gets the most women. Basketball players don't have to worry about DJing because they're already so successful (social proof, as we call it), that they don't need to. So maybe evolution has adopted a round-about approach to getting laid - get social proof, then let the women come to you.

Maybe also, in prehistoric times, a cold approach was the sort of thing that might have gotten you killed by the girl's family or husband; hence, low status males are terrified to approach. It could be the reason, but you'd need some evidence.

But the fact that DJing can be so successful but is so uncommon needs some explanation. I'm just doing first year science so I don't learn anything about this kind of thing in school, but if you've got any ideas I'd love to hear it.

Maybe if somebody could work out why guys are afraid to approach, something that's illogical if the basic idea of evolutionary psychology is right, somebody could come up with a better way to get AFCs off their a**'s and into some a**.

 

[arutha]

Maybe it has something to do with society not psychology.. Society and the media play a big part in how we live and act.

Such as girls not wanting to be sluts, female animals on heat back up to any male around but society has taught humans not to.

 

[brenbaus]

AFCs are scared to approach women because they are afraid they will get turned down, plain and simple

 

[lebRambo]

It is a paradox. We still want sex, so this is definitely something in our genes that we have not overcome by societal restrictions. Its the conflict of two fundamental instincts in humans: the conflict between the need to procreate and self-preservation. We do not want to have our pride take a beating by being rejected. Then this must be weighed against the desire to procreate. Its a conflict inside ourselves.

 

[spider_007]

edit: I honestly don't know. every way I try to justify it, it sounds like a cough up (to me).

food for thought

 

[skeeloo]

ten years from now we'll still be analysing this. who cares really some guys get approached by women,(due to staus,looks ,money,fame etc) and some dont theres nothing to figure out cuss we never will all you gotta worry about is how u get that ass those who spent time analyzing what women want are left .
i dont approach all random women cuss they waste my time cuss i can afford not to approach women cuss i read subtle hints before i approach. dont classify everybody under the same roof, people experiences are different and it shapes them up thus..thats how u are a natural dj or afc.

fuk all those pofessors they keep analysing women till thier death and still uncover nothing. only learning stuff like this about how to manipulate women and take control of your life thats the way forward or a turn of events canchange your view of women .afc's exist and will continue to. theres no explanation man.what makes a person afc anyway,

just cuss i refuse to approach certain women dont mean im afc, better to go for women u an get than approach random women thatll shut u down(thats just a thought).., except of course you feel uv uped your self, u cant expect to be sruffy and smeling and want a hb10, u gotta face facts sometimes.

i think im straying of topic now............

its simple some men are afraid to approach because of fear of rejection some guys are simply tired of games from women
.if ur ugly then use money and get that ass period.

 

[Climax]

A tip for ya'all

You can make this into a long and complicated thing, but the simple answer to the question, is that guys are scared of rejection. A lot of the time u will see that guys will go out, they will see a chick, they will want to approach her, but just as they are about to approach her, what do they do? They think to themselves "oh sh!t, she's probably gonna give me a negative response and I’ll get rejected and look like an idiot. Also at the back of every guys head, there is the fear that he will see her again, or that she knows someone that he knows and then he will look like even more of an idiot. After-all, the world is a very small place indeed. And if u think that this is not true, then why do u find it easier to sarge when u go over sea’s on holiday etc? Answer: a big part of the fear that u have to approach her and the fear that u have to get rejected by her falls away.

I say this because people these days care a LOT about what society thinks of them. The recent discovery of Black Italian is a good example of this. people just care to g0d-d@mn much about what everyone else thinks and WILL THINK of them.

What I do when I wanna approach a chick and get that fear (yes, even I have that fear) I just think to myself, "look, I live my life once, this chick is gonna also live HER life once, and in 100 years time, not I, or anyone else will give a sh!t if I approached a million girls and got rejected by all of them, or if I only approached on girl in my life. Buy at the end of the day, its MY life, and I want to make the best of MY life while I still have my life to live!" ... Think about it, when you are 80 years old, would you prefer to look back and have been rejected 100 times, but gotten with 50 other girls, or would you prefer to have only been rejected once or twice, but only gotten with 2 or 3 girls in your life? Luckily I started thinking like this since I was about 12 years old... and yes, I started becoming very interested in women when I was 12. Got my 1st BJ at the age of 12 too, lol

So next time you are at the mall, club, anywhere!, think to yourself, "I have this opportunity NOW, I wont have THIS opportunity again in my life, and in 100 years time no1 will care or remember if I get rejected by this ONE chick, but on the other hand, if I DONT get rejected, then that could possibly change my life! Maybe this chick and I will really kick it off after we get to know each other? and if not, then fine, at least I got to kiss/f*ck her... now is this an opportunity I want to let pass me by?!?" ... I guarantee you, that every single one of you will say "no" to that question. Now the question is... how many of you will actually APPROACH that girl? (considering this girl is a REALLY got girl and you are possibly thinking that she is even out of your league (which is also bullsh!t, because NO girl is out of your league) .... For those of you that WILL approach her, you have a chance of hooking up with this HB and maybe more? and if she rejects you, there are another 4 odd BILLION women out there to try with, but at least you gave yourself that chance to get with that girl and live your life up and NOT get to the age of 80 thinking "IF ONLY I DID THIS" and "IF ONLY I DID THAT" and "WHAT IF I..." etc. ... And for those of you that would still pass by the opportunity, well, I guess your hand will have to be working overtime ey?

Anyways... hope this helped and inspired some of you to go out there and make the most of your life


Laterz...

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by brenbaus
AFCs are scared to approach women because they are afraid they will get turned down, plain and simple

This, and the fact that - for whatever reason: looks, money, etc. - they think they don't deserve women.

 

[Uncle Matt]

very true.
you always regret things you dont do, more then the things you do.

and dont i know it!!

 

[Royal Elite]

Re: A tip for ya'all

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
. how many of you will actually APPROACH that girl? (considering this girl is a REALLY got girl and you are possibly thinking that she is even out of your league (which is also bullsh!t, because NO girl is out of your league) .... For those of you that WILL approach her, you have a chance of hooking up with this HB and maybe more? and if she rejects you, there are another 4 odd BILLION women out there to try with, but at least you gave yourself that chance to get with that girl and live your life up and NOT get to the age of 80 thinking "IF ONLY I DID THIS" and "IF ONLY I DID THAT" and "WHAT IF I..." etc. ... And for those of you that would still pass by the opportunity, well, I guess your hand will have to be working overtime ey?

Anyways... hope this helped and inspired some of you to go out there and make the most of your life


Laterz...

This was on hell of a post! All you others take notice and take notice!

 

[tmpgstx]

There are dumb people that constitute both sexes. Often these dumb people mate with each other. In essence, it is say the male version of themselves or vice versa.

For example, do you ever see Tattooed chicks go for the slick, clean, intelligent business looking dude? Nope. It's because they're uncomfortable with it. In short, they go for someone most like themselves. In contrast, do you ever see a business like clean, intelligent woman go for a guy with Tattooes? Nope. Not often if at all.

It comes down to who is most like themselves where the opposite sex is concerned. I've even read where a chic stated this, and it makes sense for the most part.

You can be the most sexy suave dude but if you go after someone who feels uncomfortable around you, then it's really not going bode well.

In terms of Pshychology. This stuff has been hashed over around and around by many different therorists. It could just as well be like Astronomy. Some say things work like this or like that and others say not etc. It's all speculation. Humans have only been around for 40,000 yrs. Dinasaurs have been around millions. We're youg and have a long way to go, and if we'll ever get there will be determined by how well we all get along.

 

[G-Man UK]

Re: A tip for ya'all

Originally posted by ~ªêQµïTª$~
You can make this into a long and complicated thing, but the simple answer to the question, is that guys are scared of rejection. A lot of the time u will see that guys will go out, they will see a chick, they will want to approach her, but just as they are about to approach her, what do they do? They think to themselves "oh sh!t, she's probably gonna give me a negative response and I’ll get rejected and look like an idiot. Also at the back of every guys head, there is the fear that he will see her again, or that she knows someone that he knows and then he will look like even more of an idiot. After-all, the world is a very small place indeed. And if u think that this is not true, then why do u find it easier to sarge when u go over sea’s on holiday etc? Answer: a big part of the fear that u have to approach her and the fear that u have to get rejected by her falls away.

I say this because people these days care a LOT about what society thinks of them. The recent discovery of Black Italian is a good example of this. people just care to g0d-d@mn much about what everyone else thinks and WILL THINK of them.

What I do when I wanna approach a chick and get that fear (yes, even I have that fear) I just think to myself, "look, I live my life once, this chick is gonna also live HER life once, and in 100 years time, not I, or anyone else will give a sh!t if I approached a million girls and got rejected by all of them, or if I only approached on girl in my life. Buy at the end of the day, its MY life, and I want to make the best of MY life while I still have my life to live!" ... Think about it, when you are 80 years old, would you prefer to look back and have been rejected 100 times, but gotten with 50 other girls, or would you prefer to have only been rejected once or twice, but only gotten with 2 or 3 girls in your life? Luckily I started thinking like this since I was about 12 years old... and yes, I started becoming very interested in women when I was 12. Got my 1st BJ at the age of 12 too, lol

So next time you are at the mall, club, anywhere!, think to yourself, "I have this opportunity NOW, I wont have THIS opportunity again in my life, and in 100 years time no1 will care or remember if I get rejected by this ONE chick, but on the other hand, if I DONT get rejected, then that could possibly change my life! Maybe this chick and I will really kick it off after we get to know each other? and if not, then fine, at least I got to kiss/f*ck her... now is this an opportunity I want to let pass me by?!?" ... I guarantee you, that every single one of you will say "no" to that question. Now the question is... how many of you will actually APPROACH that girl? (considering this girl is a REALLY got girl and you are possibly thinking that she is even out of your league (which is also bullsh!t, because NO girl is out of your league) .... For those of you that WILL approach her, you have a chance of hooking up with this HB and maybe more? and if she rejects you, there are another 4 odd BILLION women out there to try with, but at least you gave yourself that chance to get with that girl and live your life up and NOT get to the age of 80 thinking "IF ONLY I DID THIS" and "IF ONLY I DID THAT" and "WHAT IF I..." etc. ... And for those of you that would still pass by the opportunity, well, I guess your hand will have to be working overtime ey?

Anyways... hope this helped and inspired some of you to go out there and make the most of your life


Laterz...

Excellent post.

I advise anyone who needs the boost read this before they go out sarging, it might just make the difference.

Respect

G-man

 

[Harvey101]

Re: Re: A tip for ya'all

Originally posted by Royal Elite
This was on hell of a post! All you others take notice and take notice!

I agree.

 

[ksoileau]

I Dunno

I think men are so thoroughly brainwashed into treating women's feelings as so delicate and their opinion of us as so important, that we are inhibited in approaching them for fear of hurting their feelings or lowering their opinion of us.

BTW, guess who did most of the brainwashing? First Mom, then female teachers, then girlfriends. Notice a pattern?

Just my $0.02

 

[Visceral]

Originally posted by ksoileau
I think men are so thoroughly brainwashed into treating women's feelings as so delicate and their opinion of us as so important, that we are inhibited in approaching them for fear of hurting their feelings or lowering their opinion of us.

I think most men do this simply because they're not in a position to get away with anything less. A man with looks, money, or more social proof than he knows what to do with can treat women like crap and they'll still throw themselves at him.

Unless you live in a bad neighborhood, nobody's going to kill you for messing with their woman, but with mace, kicks to the groin, sexual harassment suits, and date rape charges, a low-ranking male is still better off playing it safe.

Maybe bad genes code for a personality as well as a body unlikely to pass them on?

 

[SAYNO]

Re: I Dunno

Originally posted by ksoileau
I think men are so thoroughly brainwashed into treating women's feelings as so delicate and their opinion of us as so important, that we are inhibited in approaching them for fear of hurting their feelings or lowering their opinion of us.

BTW, guess who did most of the brainwashing? First Mom, then female teachers, then girlfriends. Notice a pattern?

Just my $0.02

Bingo, Bango! Its the feminist indoctrination that is the biggest problem. Sadly, both men and women teach men to treat women with the utmost respect, sensitivity and caring! The women grow up to be spoiled little princess's and expect the world on a silver platter.

Furthermore the media, slings feminist propaganda all day long; notice the shows like king of queens, will and grace and other bullsvit sictcoms, the male is either a faggot, metrosexual, or a dumb, weak and stupid wuss.

Its a no wonder that the average male is afraid to apporoach women.

But as far as saying that women look for good genes to pass pn thats bull****!

Do thugs, criminals, dope addicts, serial killers and abusive men really have good genes? (wome love these kind of men)

Think about it!



Sayno'

 

[Happiness Renewed]

From a psychological perspective, maybe this fear can be simply linked to unworthiness. A man feels his genes are not up to par with those of a HB so he dismisses any reality of actually procreating with her.

 

[Climax]

Another tip for you people..

Here is another thing for you guys to think about.... When you go to a club/bar etc and see women dressed up and all pretty etc, why do you think they go through all that trouble? For who? themselves? I doubt it. Their girl friends or any other woman? maybe, if their bi or gay. Think about us, as guys... Why do we go to the shops and look for the most attractive clothes, why do some of you make threads asking which kind of women like certain kinds of pants and shirts? well, then answer is in what i just said, because we want to wear things that WOMEN will like and be attracted to, right? Its the same with women.... They don’t go to all those expensive shops and buy mini skirts and attractive clothes for fun, they do it because they want us GUYS to be attracted to them.

Now... what I want you guys to do, is when you are at a club. bar, mall, anywhere and you see a girl wearing something attractive, remember that she is wearing that because she wants guys like YOU to be attracted to her and probably hit on her. If she did not care about guys hitting on her, then she wouldn’t really care about what she looked like, she would just wear something "average".

If you think that this is not correct, then think about when you guys are surrounded by only other guys (a sleepover, etc) do you care about how u look, smell, etc NEARLY as much as when you are in the presence of an attractive woman? Well, maybe some of you will say "yes" to that, but most of you, including me, will say that we ARE more weary about how we look, smell, etc when in the presence of a woman. And yes, this works the same way when women are around men. When you see those chicks wearing those mini skirts in the middle of winter, what you think she was thinking when she put that skirt on? ... you think she was thinking "hmm... this skirt goes with this kewl tight cleavage top that I got from Diesel", or do you think they are thinking "hmm... this skirt looks f*cking sexy with this Diesel top I got, some guy BETTER notice me, because I don’t feel like freezing my little @SS off for nothing".

And yes, there WILL be those girls that will just do it for the ego boost, some chicks with boyfriends wear that stuff too, either to impress her bf, or just for the attention, or both. But the majority of the women out there in the clubs that are looking super sexy, ARE super sexy because they WANT guys to hit on them. I also know this because I have been told this by women that I am friendly with.

Now ask yourself this... "Those girls are looking all sexy & stuff, they aren’t with a guy (not that u can see, and if u don’t see them with a guy, then presume she is single, until she either tells u otherwise, or you find out one way or another), then just approach them, dance with them, chat with them, get their #, ask them to come back to your place, etc.... I mean.. the LEAST you can do is TRY, right?

If you are one of those guys that think that they are not good looking enough for a certain women (which I know ALL of you have thought at one point or another) then stop and think to yourself "wait... just like men have different "tastes" with the way women look, don’t women also have different tastes about how men look? I mean... if the last chick i approached didn’t like the way i looked, that doesn’t mean the next one will not like the way I look, right?" right. You NEVER know, maybe that chick will find u cute/hot? maybe she spotted you and is waiting for you to just approach her? maybe she is not one of those chicks that judge you like others do? maybe she is a chick that is f*cking horny at that time and YOU happened to hit on her? ... you never know, until you TRY!

Now remember, they are out there looking sexy for YOU, not for their friends, and not for the walls, but for YOU, the MAN. And if you fail, then try again, and if u fail again, then try AGAIN... I promise you that you WILL eventually succeed, and trying and failing a million times and having ONE success, is better than not trying at all and not having ANY successes.

Now stop reading this, and go out there and live it up! Don’t let yourself get to the age of 80 and have regrets about missed opportunities and experiences. You live once, make the most of it!


Laterz...

 

[Visceral]

Somehow I don't think most guys see themselves as unworthy because of the woman, but because of themselves.

People have been laughing at weak, stupid, or henpecked men for centuries; sitcoms are just a continuation of that "tradition". If there's any brainwashing out there, it's the hellspawn of Darwin and Nietzsche, the AFC's worldview where only the biggest, strongest, most aggressive, and most beautiful men deserve to get laid, or anything else for that matter.

They think about approaching - or doing anything to better themselves - and a little Charles Darwin - or Frederich Nietzsche - in their head says: "Who the hell do you think you are? _______ is for real men, which you are not. So keep your place, peasant!"

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by brenbaus
AFCs are scared to approach women because they are afraid they will get turned down, plain and simple

I'm afraid to approach even when I know I will succeed.