Why are girls so cold?

[ScottMustaine]

I look back and figure out all of my gfs were less affective than myself.
Either I am wussy for enjoying being hugged and kissed, or they are ****ing statues of liberty.

 

[bigneil]

Yes they seemed to exchange love, affection, and their maternal instincts for E, alcohol and one night stands somewhere along the way. The joke is on them once they hit 35 though.

 

[ScottMustaine]

What the hell man.
That was the main characteristic of a female.
Now we are still supposed to be MEN plus their dads.
Obviously none of them gives a fck to be a woman, not to mention take a role of mother like guys do being fathers.

 

[Zion]

They're not necessarily cold.People get used to things. Once they get used to a certain something , they often forget they should also be on the giving end - not only on the receiving end.

If you're all loving and affectionate you will 'train' them to become used to receiving. This is a basic functionality of humans. We give in order to receive. Once we're receiving without giving - we subconsciously stop giving. Once we're cut off , we start giving so we can receive once more.


That's why it's important to always , and I mean ALWAYS calibrate. Not only in DJ-ing , but in life in general. Always calibrate and always be sure to walk a midline.

Your problem is probably the fact that you have a lot to offer - an offer it a little bit too easy. Try holding back every now and then ,but be careful so you don't fall into the opposite extreme. Like I said , calibration.

You might as well meet someone who is a giver like yourself , in which case you'll both probably end up very happy.

Out of all the relationships I've ever had , only in one had I found myself as the giver even though when we started out , we were both in that position.However, I was a little bit more enthusiastic about it.So we started on the same foot , but I kept going up and up to the point that I'd say I was giving 80 to 85% of the affection and receiving the remaining 10-15%. This happened over the course of a few years , but only later had I realized that it was my own mistake - I had not calibrated. Which is pretty hard to do when you're all lovestruck like a helpless idiot , but the viciousness of it is that once you've set the pattern and sealed it in 10 layers of cement over a few years, it's close to - if not completely - impossible to change

A mistake I've learned the hard way , but besides experience , it also brought me into the world of DJs. So I can only be glad for it .

 

[bigneil]

Someone dug up the 1950's era lists of what was expected from the ideal husband and wife. The list of male charteristics is largely the same. The female list however is now considered entirely outdated and chauvinistic.

 

[Zarky]

I look back and figure out all of my gfs were less affective than myself.
Either I am wussy for enjoying being hugged and kissed, or they are ****ing statues of liberty.

LOL you're 19, you've got little experience and lots of living to do.

 

[JohnChops]

LOL you're 19, you've got little experience and lots of living to do.

some do not do the bold.

 

[Zion]

LOL you're 19, you've got little experience and lots of living to do.

Age is irrelevant. A 6 year old biggest problem is that he just dropped his ice-cream cone. To you it might seem like nothing - to him it might be the end of the world.

Experience is related to emotional response. The intensity with which he goes through his problems might be the exact intensity with which you go through yours,although the nature of the problems themselves can differ greatly. And yet - as you see his as 'small and insignificant' , so would the average 60 year old see yours.

Relativity. Everything we feels is in correlation with the experiences we lived through so far - not with those that we will live in the future.

 

[Christopher Philip]

Girls were never taught how to give affection and treat men as significant others. They were never taught to be respectful and giving.

They were brought up by single mother feminists to be INDEPENDENT with no, or a weak father figure. That's about all you need to know. Read for more...

It is your role to be the captain of your own ship and she's your first mate. You must act like part Dad (provider, authority, no BS taker) and also boyfriend (giver, compliment, sex, date, court, etc.). It's a crazy balancing act because the ownership is totally on YOU, because her family did not teach her how to do things in a way that would benefit the unit i.e. the couple.

It's an uphill battle which starts with choosing the right woman with the right values. You will never change a women who's been taught to be independent. There is no "i" in team, right.

Women are not AGENTS, they are designed to be the prize (we see this in every romance novel, every action movie for that matter - the damsel in distress). A man is a person of utility and he's designed to provide for his wife with his muscle. Women see themselves as perfect (like Dad's little princess) to be cherished as is, where is.

Women don't fantasize about getting in shape, getting a make-over, being nice to a man to catch a good one - that's agency. Women dream about a man falling from heaven and falling in love with "who they are."

Women will never change and if their mothers never taught them how to care for their Dad, forget about caring for you. Now women lack socialization to care, to nurture. Do you think that changes when women have families? Nope. So if you aren't interested in being Dad and teacher, forget it now.

Men are designed to do whatever it takes to get laid (and naturally have kids), they will learn whatever, bend, jump, work, toil, whatever. Men are the tools of women. Our minds push boundaries, we explore, take risks and create. Women sit back and peruse offers men make to them - passive.

Choose wisely!

 

[Caravaggio]

There's nothing wrong with emotions. They're yours, you earned them, spend them wisely. Don't waste them on every girl you spend your time with.

Intimacy is the value exchange for sex. PDA and other such needy things are for them to instigate and not you to initiate.

 

[floydb25]

What Zion said. People value, desire, fight for, and give to whatever's not available - from the person not giving it to them. That's why they complain when the jerk isn't giving them love and affection - while they're doing everything for them, and not getting **** in return - but don't care when the nice guy is doing the same thing for them. Literally as they're complaining to him, and he's providing it (as a result of believing / assuming her words to be true). It's too easy and readily available. Thus, either taken for granted or gone unnoticed. They don't want it from him - they want it from the jackass not giving it to them.

Doesn't make sense, does it? Good. Throw all logic out the window, and study their behaviors as they coincide with yours. There's a lot of **** like this going on.

Everyone probably WANTS to show their love and affection and desire right off the bat, but it doesn't work in the attraction game... Even if the other party is, and you're not... Which is usually the case, and WHY they are (ie, because you're not).

I don't ever recall a 50/50 dating scenerio, back when this was happening. Either I was doing all the work, and they didn't give a **** / lost interest, or vice versa. But your best bet is to let THEM show affection, interest, etc, and you slowly reciprocating. Don't just start giving it away in huge chunks, or they'll come to expect it... and not value or desire it. Probably even get turned off by it, and won't reciprocate for ****.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

I think it depends on the girl. I've met a few that were just as affectionate as me and I'm very affectionate. I love to hug and cuddle and kiss quite a bit lol. Doesn't make me a wuss or nothing. Some of the girls I been with have loved every bit of my affection. Some didn't. They're out there.

 

[GotED?]

You been attracting 'masculinzed' feminist women - I fell for the same trap half of my life.

Look at how your mother was - was she lacking display of affection through out your childhood? If so, recognize the conditioning by your own parents and make a wiser choice. We attract what we are most unconsciously feel safe and used to, so if you are used to being raised by a masculinzed mother, then guess what - you want to be with one still.

Also due to your lack of affection that you perhaps did not receive during childhood, now you SEEK out that affection but don't find it because you are still attraction women like your mother. You display over-affectionate ways because you want the approval still so bad from the women in your life - you are RE-ENACTING your lack in childhood and projecting it on the women you date.

Choose to be with feminine women, because by design that is what men and women are suppose to function together.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Darth]

Also due to your lack of affection that you perhaps did not receive during childhood, now you SEEK out that affection but don't find it because you are still attraction women like your mother. You display over-affectionate ways because you want the approval still so bad from the women in your life - you are RE-ENACTING your lack in childhood and projecting it on the women you date.

You are 100% correct on this.

 

[Mike32ct]

Are feminine women more affectionate?

Every female I dated or F-ed has been the confident type with a bit of tomboy in her. (I mean personality only, not looks.) I never dated a really "girly girl." I honestly don't know what they are like.

You been attracting 'masculinzed' feminist women - I fell for the same trap half of my life.

Look at how your mother was - was she lacking display of affection through out your childhood? If so, recognize the conditioning by your own parents and make a wiser choice. We attract what we are most unconsciously feel safe and used to, so if you are used to being raised by a masculinzed mother, then guess what - you want to be with one still.

Also due to your lack of affection that you perhaps did not receive during childhood, now you SEEK out that affection but don't find it because you are still attraction women like your mother. You display over-affectionate ways because you want the approval still so bad from the women in your life - you are RE-ENACTING your lack in childhood and projecting it on the women you date.

Choose to be with feminine women, because by design that is what men and women are suppose to function together.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Darth]

I never dated a really "girly girl." I honestly don't know what they are like.

That is because you live in the Northeast, which is notoriously socially liberal. I grew up in New Hampshire and when I moved away to another part of the country, it was a huge eye opener.

The northeast is a hotbed of political correctness, social liberalism, socialism, etc. to the point where how "cool" you are socially is dictated by how socially liberal you are.

It is the feminist capital of the world.

 

[Mike32ct]

That is because you live in the Northeast, which is notoriously socially liberal. I grew up in New Hampshire and when I moved away to another part of the country, it was a huge eye opener.

The northeast is a hotbed of political correctness, social liberalism, socialism, etc. to the point where how "cool" you are socially is dictated by how socially liberal you are.

It is the feminist capital of the world.

Absolutely. Spot on.

 

[GotED?]

Even tomboy types can be affectionate, but the affection is still usually just skin deep. Im with a 20yr old tomboy now that is very affectionate. My cluster b ex was very affectionate. But I know that changes overnight when they lose attraction.

100% CORRECT (+1 to post if I could, but I must pass it around to others first, sorry PPPF!)

This is scary - been here, done that. You never know who you are with - women have many faces, most scarily when they lose attraction to you. All hell break lose - they also lose the girly affectionate ACT (yes, it was just an act to hook you in). :trouble:

This however is not the face of ALL women - just the manipulative ones who has an agenda (your money, need something outta you, etc).

My current GF is absolutely the most feminine woman I have been with in 40 years, and it isn't an act. Sometimes you do have to throw sh!t tests on women to see their true colors. Most will lose their chameleon effect if you piss them off enough or threaten to kick them to the curb.

We are entitled to sh!t test - absolutely.

 

[zinc4]

Give them a little emotional suffering every now and then...(some natural push pull...taking breaks) combined with some high points of love or whatever you want to call it and keep your IL slightly lower than their's and they will adore you for it...simple as that....

They are only cold acting if they think they have you locked up in the palm of their hands...

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

These types of girls guys have to play games with are not the right ones to begin with. We shouldn't have to play games with each other, it's ridiculous. Find a real mature woman, not a girly girl.