Jippii
Don Juan
Once you become angry, your entire body prepares for retaliation. However, in our society this retaliation is usually frustrated, for one of three reasons:
First: retaliation may not be possible. If someone cuts you off in traffic, there's not too much to do. You may become angry but the other person is already long gone. The anger builds up inside but has no outlet.
Second: retaliation is usually not acceptable. You can't hit your boss even if he angers you. The anger is held inside, where it accumulates.
Third: retaliation is often not advisable. If a 300 pount football player bumps into you, you might become angry but it would be stupid to strike back at him.
In each case, once you become angry, if you don't do something to get it out of your system, it builds up and eventually poisons your body. Sustained anger actually changes the chemical composition of your blood. Eventually it will erupt in skin diseases, ulcers, migraine headaches or much worse. You'll express the built-up anger at members of your family, or at people who can't defend themselves, such as employees or the staffs of other companies.
The best way to deal with anger is refrain from becoming angry in the first place. Resolve in advance that you will not allow yourself to become upset. Take control of your tendency to blamce or lash out by catching yourself and repeating, over and over, "I am responsible, I am responsible, I am responsible." You may not be responsible for being cut off in traffic but you are definitely responsible for the way you choose to respond. You will be far more effective if you respond calmly and constructively. And you will feel much better as well.
However, if you have already become angry, you can dispel anger through contact. Dr. Hans Salye (Director of the Institute of Experimental Medicine and Surgery at University of Montreal) called this "gross physical impact activity." He found in his stress research that making contact of some kind relieves anger. The anger passes from your body into whatever you are making contact with.
Selye found that you can dispel anger through one of four outlets: your hands, your feet, your teeth or your voice. You can get rid of anger by hitting, kicking, biting or screamings.
Any sport that requires hitting something with your hands dispels anger. Racquetball, handball, volleyball, baseball and basketball are all excellent ways to transfer anger from the body into the ball. Hitting a bucket of golf balls on a driving range is a tonic for the nerves. Any kind of sport in which kicking is involved, such as football or soccer, is excellent for dispelling anger. The very act of kicking something serves as an outlet. You often see angry people stamp their feet in exasperation, as an unconscious attempt to get rid of pent-up feelings of anger.
Much of acne in adolescents and most skin breakouts in adults is caused by repressed anger. It can be dispelled through gross physical impact activity.
Brian Tracy, one of the leading authorities in the world on success and personal achievement, says this in Maximum Achievement:
"One concerned father whose son was bothered by acne bought him a huge block of wood and a big box of tenpenny nails. He then gave him a hammer and had him spend ten to twenty minutes each day hammering these large nails into the block of wood. The boy's acne cleared up in less than two weeks.
However, many forms of exercise, such as running, swimming or cycling, don't dispel anger because they involve little or no contact. They may help you reduce stress or lose weight, but they don't reduce anger.
You can dispel anger by eating something that requires a lot of chewing. Often when you're hungry for a steak, it is because you're feeling frustrated or angry and chewing the steak vigorously dispels the anger for your body into the meat. After a hearty, heavy dinner, you feel more relaxed because much of your anger is gone.
Another way is screaming, in which many people, both adults and children, get rid of their anger. It's a common form of release. There's a form of psychotherapy called "primal." In treatment, patients are ecnouraged to scream in the presence of trained psychotherapists. They are taught to release suppressed anger built up from childhood. It's often very effective in helping people get a grip on their emotions. It certainly beats suppression of anger on the one hand or screaming at your loved ones on the other.
In a vicious fight between two very angry people, they will hit, kick, scream and bite. These reactions are all ways fo expelling anger. Often, after a loud disagreement or physical battle, the two comatants will become lovers or good friends. All the anger is gone; only good feelings remain.
This is mostly adapted from Brian Tracy's book "Maximum Achievement." The book changed my life, it's amazing, so if you have any possibility to get it I warmly suggest that you get it.
First: retaliation may not be possible. If someone cuts you off in traffic, there's not too much to do. You may become angry but the other person is already long gone. The anger builds up inside but has no outlet.
Second: retaliation is usually not acceptable. You can't hit your boss even if he angers you. The anger is held inside, where it accumulates.
Third: retaliation is often not advisable. If a 300 pount football player bumps into you, you might become angry but it would be stupid to strike back at him.
In each case, once you become angry, if you don't do something to get it out of your system, it builds up and eventually poisons your body. Sustained anger actually changes the chemical composition of your blood. Eventually it will erupt in skin diseases, ulcers, migraine headaches or much worse. You'll express the built-up anger at members of your family, or at people who can't defend themselves, such as employees or the staffs of other companies.
The best way to deal with anger is refrain from becoming angry in the first place. Resolve in advance that you will not allow yourself to become upset. Take control of your tendency to blamce or lash out by catching yourself and repeating, over and over, "I am responsible, I am responsible, I am responsible." You may not be responsible for being cut off in traffic but you are definitely responsible for the way you choose to respond. You will be far more effective if you respond calmly and constructively. And you will feel much better as well.
However, if you have already become angry, you can dispel anger through contact. Dr. Hans Salye (Director of the Institute of Experimental Medicine and Surgery at University of Montreal) called this "gross physical impact activity." He found in his stress research that making contact of some kind relieves anger. The anger passes from your body into whatever you are making contact with.
Selye found that you can dispel anger through one of four outlets: your hands, your feet, your teeth or your voice. You can get rid of anger by hitting, kicking, biting or screamings.
Any sport that requires hitting something with your hands dispels anger. Racquetball, handball, volleyball, baseball and basketball are all excellent ways to transfer anger from the body into the ball. Hitting a bucket of golf balls on a driving range is a tonic for the nerves. Any kind of sport in which kicking is involved, such as football or soccer, is excellent for dispelling anger. The very act of kicking something serves as an outlet. You often see angry people stamp their feet in exasperation, as an unconscious attempt to get rid of pent-up feelings of anger.
Much of acne in adolescents and most skin breakouts in adults is caused by repressed anger. It can be dispelled through gross physical impact activity.
Brian Tracy, one of the leading authorities in the world on success and personal achievement, says this in Maximum Achievement:
"One concerned father whose son was bothered by acne bought him a huge block of wood and a big box of tenpenny nails. He then gave him a hammer and had him spend ten to twenty minutes each day hammering these large nails into the block of wood. The boy's acne cleared up in less than two weeks.
However, many forms of exercise, such as running, swimming or cycling, don't dispel anger because they involve little or no contact. They may help you reduce stress or lose weight, but they don't reduce anger.
You can dispel anger by eating something that requires a lot of chewing. Often when you're hungry for a steak, it is because you're feeling frustrated or angry and chewing the steak vigorously dispels the anger for your body into the meat. After a hearty, heavy dinner, you feel more relaxed because much of your anger is gone.
Another way is screaming, in which many people, both adults and children, get rid of their anger. It's a common form of release. There's a form of psychotherapy called "primal." In treatment, patients are ecnouraged to scream in the presence of trained psychotherapists. They are taught to release suppressed anger built up from childhood. It's often very effective in helping people get a grip on their emotions. It certainly beats suppression of anger on the one hand or screaming at your loved ones on the other.
In a vicious fight between two very angry people, they will hit, kick, scream and bite. These reactions are all ways fo expelling anger. Often, after a loud disagreement or physical battle, the two comatants will become lovers or good friends. All the anger is gone; only good feelings remain.
This is mostly adapted from Brian Tracy's book "Maximum Achievement." The book changed my life, it's amazing, so if you have any possibility to get it I warmly suggest that you get it.
