Why am I such a nice guy?

[Nebula]

Maybe you guys can help. I dont like misleading girls. most of the time I look for one Im really interested in and date her. now I dont mind casual sex at all, but I feel like a total jerk when I just date a girl for sex, because I can tell theyre interested in something more. at the same time I dont want to say anything upfront because that will make me look like an ass.

it appears ive reached an impasse.

 

[everywomanshero]

Dude my guess is that you have a problem with assertiveness. You have to believe you have the right to ask for what you want, otherwise you're going to resent employers, wives, etc. My best advice is to find out how to become more assertive.

 

[daring wraith]

Maybe you guys can help. I dont like misleading girls. most of the time I look for one Im really interested in and date her. now I dont mind casual sex at all, but I feel like a total jerk when I just date a girl for sex, because I can tell theyre interested in something more. at the same time I dont want to say anything upfront because that will make me look like an ass.

it appears ive reached an impasse.

Don't worry about it, keep at the casual sex thing. You'll get used to it and become a moral vacuum in no time at all.

.....But seriously, don't overanalyse yourself or your situations, just accept them, take things as they come and deal with each scenario in the best way you know how.

 

[pingpongz]

If you care so much just be upfront with the girl from the start and say something like:

"I would really like to just keep this casual as im not a fan of serious relationships and would like to just have fun while im young blah blah"

 

[Maxwell]

I feel ya, nebula, I'm in the same boat.
19 years of being a painfully polite, selfless and philanthropic Nice Guy refused to be cancelled out by 6 months or so of attmepted to become a DJ.
I just feel like such a morally bankrupt scumbag when I pull the "semi-jerk" routine and deliberately aim for casual sex when I know they want a relationship. I get horrible guilt complexes.

(As a side note, I haven't actually got as far as sex yet)