Why am I a loner?

[Julian]

Dude im almost in the same place as you.

I have NO FRIENDS. Im not antisocial, the problem is that my closest friends moved away and i fell out with a couple others, everyone went their seperate ways after graduation.

All the acquaintances i used to hang with like a year ago i dont even talk to anymore. Reason being that they are all part of a drug culture i used to hang with, (weed sellers/tokers etc)

I quit toking last year for like 7 months and burned ALOT of bridges. Since then ive been a lone wolf pretty much.

I dont really mind it at all to tell you the truth. Ive become used to it. Id like to get close with some friends again but i really dont see that happening in my city.

However, ido have a few people i kick it with a couple times a week but its like, none of them have cars, or licenses or money or anything to contribute besides their presence, which isnt the greatest company in the first place.

 

[bob2007]

I'm starting university next monday.

Stb, don't worry so much, cause you don't really have to be alone. I was like you in highschool till grade 11. It was depressing. This site helped out a lot with confidence and the I don't give a **** mentality.

What I did was identify a few people I knew of, and just started chatting with them around lunch and playing cards with them, so forth. Another few things I did was join a pick up soccer league (free), found it online. Also, I think having a job really boosts your confidence and social skills. If you have time for a job, that's gonna help you the most.

Also, think of your future, you have to network with people for your career, so might as well start now. My goal is to meet every single person in my major before I graduate.

 

[quakerstate]

expect the best prepare for bull****

the bull**** is bound to happen but if you expect the best you go in with a good attitude and a lot of the anxiety and worry go out the window.

when the bull**** happens learn to let it go learn what you did wrong and move on, it's no big deal, this is your battle and nobody else matters. everyone's got their own battles to worry about.

if you expect the bull**** like what you are doing you're gonna get it.

you're expecting the bull**** and preparing for it, not gonna get you anywhere.

This is the mind frame I am trying to get into a habit with so good luck and keep fighting this **** this is your battle and you better fight it till the end!

 

[TTAG]

i hear ya Jules

Originally posted by Julian
Dude im almost in the same place as you.

I have NO FRIENDS. Im not antisocial, the problem is that my closest friends moved away and i fell out with a couple others, everyone went their seperate ways after graduation.

All the acquaintances i used to hang with like a year ago i dont even talk to anymore. Reason being that they are all part of a drug culture i used to hang with, (weed sellers/tokers etc)

I quit toking last year for like 7 months and burned ALOT of bridges. Since then ive been a lone wolf pretty much.

I dont really mind it at all to tell you the truth. Ive become used to it. Id like to get close with some friends again but i really dont see that happening in my city.

However, ido have a few people i kick it with a couple times a week but its like, none of them have cars, or licenses or money or anything to contribute besides their presence, which isnt the greatest company in the first place.

hahaha this is some funny shyt.

the exact same situation I have been in.

especially that last bit.

''However, ido have a few people i kick it with a couple times a week but its like, none of them have cars, or licenses or money or anything to contribute besides their presence, which isnt the greatest company in the first place''

like whats up with this? cant they find jobs- i bust my gut 40 hours a week working, and i go to college! and they do nothing, and expect me to give them rides, buy them drinks, get them the girls.

all of us started out the same, broke. thats why we become friends, now they wanna stay that way? they just say now im so rich -im not, bla, bla, bla, i cant work cos of this or that, i have a drug problem, gambling problem, girlfriend problems, family problems, shyt! i dont get it.

 

[SimplyTheBest]

Starman,

Sometimes, I don't feel that the net tests on psychological disorder are reliable enough. I've taken a few before and it looks like based on a few simple questions, you'll be diagnosed with problems in your psyche.

I have some sort of anxiety when talking to new people. I feel afraid and a little shy. Is this some sort of mental illness or something? Or is it some kind of personality disorder or whatever you called it?

To all people out there,

Thank you so much for your advice. I appreciate it a lot.......
But I just can't do the DJ Boot Camp thing. I have zero confidence at all. I have no balls to even take action...........I am ashamed of myself for being such a person who lacks the confident to do what he is supposed to do for his age. I can see many people around my college who have everything in life, money, car, friends, gfs and etc...........

SIGH!

I just can't stop whining........

 

[TTAG]

get a job

STB, you should get a job dude. it will help you out heaps!

-gives you confidence

-gets you out and about

-meet new people

-some cash

even if its a fast food joint, just get something, we all started somewhere (i did.....gulp.......McD's).

 

[LouieVaton Don]

You keep whining because you want validation. Only YOU can validate YOU. I cannot make you love yourself, there is no magic words I can type.

In short its a process, you will not wake up one day and just be a social dynamo. You need to seriously meditate and find yourself. Get a real good grasp of who you are, what you want and whatever it is you feel you need. Just meditate for a minute in a room alone. whenever you envision doing something and a negative thought or feeling oocurs fight it, its an irrational thought, this is your reality for which you can do what you want. Be free. Do what you want, stop worrying about what people think, that hinders so much personal growth not to mention its counter-productive. The only opnion you should concern yourself with is your own until you grasp yourself, then worry about being PC.

Do little things to change your daily routine, learn a trade for christ sakes do something interesting. The biggest problem you guys have is that your putting too much pressure and worry on yourselves. Have fun with it , learn from it, but dont make it in to something more than it is. Its easier than you think to meet people. Just do it. Dont think about it, dont hesitate , just do it. You'll find out you always had it in you. In short, Be a man and take sh*t in your own hands, be a leader the average person is only a sheep looking for someone to follow.

 

[jive]

You've been given a some pretty good advice here, yet you should definately read the book 'The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden (recommended in dj bible Book recommendation - YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK)

Also recommended is 'Feel the fear and do it Anyway' by Susan Jeffers (feel the fear and do it anyway)

Reading either of these books will help you more than you probably think. Get one or both of these books, afterall you've got everything to gain and nothing to lose!