Why am I a Bit*h?

[mjh1589]

Hey there. First thread. I know theres probably been a ton of threads about this, but would really appreciate the help. So I started hooking up with this girl whose always liked me, but has always been in a long-term relationship. We started hooking up literally just when they "broke up" and who knows what this guys thought. Fast forward 3 months and ive seriously fallen for this girl. Hang out every weekend, talk on the phone, text all day... all the gay beginning relationship ****. I found out her email password recently and litterally found her gmail chat with her friend. This is it word for word im under the name ron and her "ex" under steve(Names changed)please advice on what to do and how to do it?Im clearly blinded by this girl and not seeing straight whatsoever. Thanks:

friend: i need to hear all about the other day with steve and whats going on with ron

Slut: haha i know literally one thing led to the next with steve
10:12 PM
i feel like a TERRIBLE person

your the only person who knows this..

i had sex with ron in the mronign and steve at night

i literally hate my life im such a bad person

i dont know what to do
10:13 PM
friend: i know i would never say anything to anyone.. your not a bad person at all...its happens..your just trying to figure out what you want..i feel like your so stuck in the middle

slut: i know i am... i felt like i was going to be more excited to see steve and i wasnt that excited though
10:14 PM
friend: how did you feel after you had sex though? guilty for ron?

slut: yeah kinda! and before i felt no loyalty to ron

l
10:15 PM
friend: thats a good sign though that you felt bad about it for ron..have you talked to steve since?

slut: yeah we've chatted here and there..its been all bull**** though
10:16 PM
friend: has he hooked up with anyone yet

slut: not that i know of

i dont think so but idk

he said hes been going out and getting soo wasted which is not really like him so idk

he was like im not happy with myself
8 minutes
10:24 PM
friend: hmm really
10:25 PM
slut: yeah he misses me

 

[Equilibrium]

Holy **** dude. She cheated on you and NOW SHE'S RATIONALIZING HERSELF AS A VICTIM WHO IS JUST "caught in the middle"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? You met a deranged ho my friend!!!!!

Seriously, this is one of the most effed up things I've read. Dude let me just say I really feel bad for you, that's a tough kick in the balls. But I'm glad you found this convo.

Bro, you need to just next her immediately. You should do a total blackout. Just drop off the face of the earth for her, never talk to her again. Ignore all her calls, texts, delete her from your FB, forget about her email PW too - never snoop again (although it's good that you did before based on your intuitions, further snooping is just being beta). That's what I would do - any self respecting man would.

I know you probably want revenge right now. I was really wronged by a woman once in a similar way, and I wanted revenge. But the fact is, that's a waste of time. Rollo has a post on revenge on his site you should check out. Basically, next her, and go find more plates to spin instead. I'm real new to the community and all, but this is what I'd do and I'm sure it's solid advice.

You'll never have your dignity if you don't leave her.

 

[mjh1589]

Thanks for the advice Equilibrium. I really do appreciate the support.One never thinks there gonna be "that" guy. Everything i know tells me to cut her off and right now i think im going to. But once again im a ***** and know how persuasive(f'ing hot) this girl can be. But seriously think im done, but is there a more mature way of ending contact? i feel like i should combat her sleaziness with classiness. Or is that just a lost cause? screw it, its a lost cause

 

[Equilibrium]

Yeah, I know how it is. I found out my ex-fiance, who is the hottest woman I ever been with my entire life, was cheating on me. It was brutally hard to let her go, even after she told me she didn't love me. Oddly enough, she made me break up with her, and then told her friends I was a jerk who broke up with her... weird.

Anyway, it was tough, and she kept trying to get back in contact with me, trying to say I owed her money for the Xbox we both bought that I took (I deserved it after that, plus, if I charged her for all the gas driving her to school and work for years, I'd make thousands, and she still had my engagement ring), but I ignored her constantly. The thing is, I was blinded by her beauty and even though I knew she was treating me wrong and very likely cheating on me I tried to reform myself and fix things for months before it finally came to a head. Now I realize I would have never truly been a man if I couldn't say no. If we cannot say no to a woman merely because of the way she looks, are we not total slaves to looks? Will a woman's vanity be our kryptonite? Will we let terrible women who do evil things be disgusting and evil just because they look good? No way. Plus, you're coming from a place of sadness and neediness. If you had 3 girls who were just as hot as her you would next her in a heartbeat. Just drop her and then focus on finding those 3 women. In fact, just looking for new women alone is very therapeutic and liberating - it will make you feel way better. Just go out this weekend and try to meet new girls, make a POF profile, take a dance class, etc.

At least you probably won't pedastalize women the same way anymore or think of them as so precious - you won't trust them so quickly either. You learned your lesson as I learned mine.

 

[Jariel]

Wow, that post gave me a real sickly feeling in my stomach. If it was after 3 weeks of dating you, it might be more reasonable to justify, but after 3 months that is really sly and disgusting behaviour.

My first instinct would be to confront her, but I highly recommend avoiding that. It will give her the attention she's seeking and create a whole lot of drama that won't be good for you. What's more, she'll end up trying to make you out to be the bad guy and portray herself as some helpless victim...and you will never be able to convince her otherwise.

I am totally with Equilibrium on this. Just disappear and cut contact. Don't respond to anything, even if she tries to provoke you or begs for an explanation. It will mess with her head, but that's the least that ***** deserves. Meanwhile, just work on moving forward. Use the anger you feel to fire you up in the gym and go and enjoy the company of other people.

 

[search1ng]

She's letting another guy regularly dump his load in her and you need advice??! Bloody hell man, just move on. Get your sh1t, pack your bags and cut contact. No use even hating this girl or even wasting anymore time on her.

Fcking disgusting behaviour.

 

[EastWind]

Disappear. Without a trace. Drop off the face of the world, now. Delete her from everything, and whatever you do, resist the temptation to call her, or answer her calls or texts.

And whatever you do, DON'T go for a dramatic "I shall never see thee again" scene. It's all bullcrap. You want revenge, cease to exist and bask in the knowledge that the little hamster in its wheel in her head is nearly having a heart attack.

 

[floydb25]

She's a ho trying to justify what she did, not appear as being a ho, and looking for sympathy so that she doesn't look like the bad guy. She's not genuinely sorry or guilty about ****. She probably won't stop being a ho either.

Beyond that, this is a hoochie in distress. She's sleeping around, playing people, talking about how everyone wants and misses her. She's a conceited ***** from what I can see. She's indirectly bragging - while making herself seem as the victim. "Oh, I just HATE how everyone wants me, and I have sex with everyone. Woe is me." Blah blah. Her lifestyle revolves around being a dumb slut. There's nothing quality about this person. Her friend is probably just as dumb as she is.

 

[Jariel]

She's indirectly bragging - while making herself seem as the victim. "Oh, I just HATE how everyone wants me, and I have sex with everyone. Woe is me." Blah blah.

This is absolutely spot on. I've seen this before so many fvcking times! It's like the old "I've got a stalker, he's obsessed with me and I'm really scared", when what she's saying is "I'm so irresistable, I have men wrapped around my finger and can do what I like with them".

 

[betheman]

just out of interest, what ae the ages of those involved?

its not that big an issue as women of all ages get up to shady stuff like this.

what really sickens me about this scenario, is the pseudo justifiction and rationalising of her action and the friends supporting and promoting it.


you have got a ho on your hands op, dont be too bitter, this is wimmin!

 

[floydb25]

This is absolutely spot on. I've seen this before so many fvcking times! It's like the old "I've got a stalker, he's obsessed with me and I'm really scared", when what she's saying is "I'm so irresistable, I have men wrapped around my finger and can do what I like with them".

Yeah... It takes many forms, but the premise is always the same. They just hate so much how men flirt with them, want to have sex with them, give them attention, set up false friendships in hopes of more - as they're encouraging and embracing all this behavior. Or, when its so hard for them decide who to date. It's so difficult having so many options, getting all these offers, and being a player.

Watch how these hoes act once you stop giving them these things they hate oh-so much. They go ape****, become insecure, and feel invalidated - as they try to gain them back. This includes all the orbiters they ***** about acting like puppy dogs. It just sucks so much to be worshipped - as they're purposely stringing them along.

They don't hate ****. That's why they attention *****, dress like hookers, flirt with everyone, sleep around, and all these things. The underlying theme is that they always brag - even as they're complaining. This person wants them, they know how much that person likes them, everyone has a crush on them, they're so hot and in-demand, married guys hit on them, etc. The key is that they KNOW these things, because they set it up that way. And, that's pretty much the lifestyle of these hoes. They complain about the same dumb **** their lives revolve around. They're all about the ego and status. Can't stand girls like these.

 

[BlueShift]

Forget about this woman. She's not the problem anymore. Try to learn from your mistakes, not salvage a sinking ship.

Why are you a bit*h? I'll answer your question with one of my own. Why the hell are you browsing through her emails? I can almost smell the insecurity from here.

Yes, you happened to sneak your way into her conversation and uncover your 'girlfriends' extra curricular activities... You can take the power in your hands and leave this bit*h hanging. However, who is responsible for this mess? It sounds like you were my friend.

The problem with your relationship occurred before you even hooked up with her. Did you screen the girl before you decided she was relationship material, or were you so love blind you ignored the fact she just happened to hook-up with you 'literally' after she broke up from a LTR? This woman is a branch swinger. She broke up with her long term partner because she knew she could make ends meet with you. If you provided more information about this girl I'm positive the Don Juan's on the forum would have spotted at least a few red-flags. Find the information on the forum about red-flags and learn them by heart. Sure this woman may have not displayed any red-flags to you, but from the information you have provided here, I'm pretty damn sure a woman like this would communicate signs of low quality. It's your fault you failed to see them. Make this weakness into a strength.

More times than less, a woman who just ends a long term relationship is on the rebound and is in need of a few wild times before she's ready to be tied down in a relationship once again. There's nothing wrong with this, men would have the same attitude. Although, to pursue her as more than just a friend with benefits so soon after a long term relationship isn't going to end well - hence the cheating. You were one of her wild times. You should have let her settle down for awhile to get all the wild sh*t out of her system. Then go in for the kill.

This contradicts with the "strike when the iron is hot" mantra, but from what your saying, you wanted a relationship with this woman. "Strike when the iron is hot" is more suitable for women drunk, wild or generally out to have fun. AKA a woman just out of a relationship. You succeeded in hooking up with her right off the bat, that's commendable. However, relationships don't always require this mantra, they require more of a strategic plan. This may be a prime reason why she did what she did. Wait until she settles down and has some time to her own.

This woman cheated on you with steve as you were boring. You gave her your full attention, you were not a challenge anymore. When she needed you, you were always there for you, she never had to ask herself the usual womanly emotional sh*t like "Does he like me? Am I good enough for his attention?" because she already knew she was over qualified for you. Next time, don't give her all of your attention, she must deserve it first, and even so you should not smother her in your attention. This is typical AFC behavior. READ the Don Juan bible. Don't hang out with her every weekend, be unpredictable. Don't give her all of your attention, don't talk to her on the phone for long periods and don't text her all the time. MORE IS LESS. You made this girl your universe. If you were being smothered, wouldn't you look for an alternative woman to relieve your entrapment?

Lastly, you were probably looking through your girlfriends emails because you were insecure. You probably were wondering if your girlfriend was seeing other people or being unfaithful. You need to gain some more confidence through improving yourself to be above this sh*t. If you were happy with yourself (If you knew you were the best you can be), you wouldn't give a sh*t if this girl was faithful to you because if she was, she losses you. It would be a favor to you so you can stop wasting your time chancing dead ends.

Improving yourself only comes through hardwork and dedication. If you're not willing to do this, have fun dealing with low quality women. Low quality men chase low quality women.

 

[marmel75]

Go find out who her friend is she is talking to about this and go bang her...

 

[bullethead]

You know why she hooked back with her ex... because girls want what they can't have. Listen she was in a long term relationship with this guy. Chances are he rejected her, making her feel insecure about herself. Having sex with this guy made her feel better about her acceptance in society. Dude, the best revenge u can have now is to put her off the pedestal, don't get emotional when u talk to her, tell her that you want to break up, and go no contact and live well. She will feel rejected, and you just continue to play on her insecurities and be confident. Hit the gym, and expand your horizons.