Who here wants to get married and why?

[set]

So your situation is similar to @guru1000's side kick @BeTheChange , which is where you will marry as long as you have a financial gain associated with it? Which means it's actually the WOMAN in this case who needs to sign up for Guru's $20,000 "protect your assets" crash course?

I think that's a completely different structure than what myself and @Urbanyst are arguing. We are discussing the vast majority of structures where it will be the man that would be the highest earner, not the woman.

I can tell you this. As you know I'm black. I'm having a great year this year (not going to disclose the actual number, but I'm well into the multiple 6 figure range) and I have NEVER dated a black woman that was making near my level of income. I rarely......run into a black woman making $50,000 a year with good credit, I swear to you. And most of these chicks have bachelor's degrees and/or master's degrees.

Why pay broke azz, ex-con ponzi aka guru1000 20 grand when you can watch him spew the same old, humble bragging, flip flopping, verbal diarrhea, nonsense on ss for free.

Ponzi is so broke he trolls SS for "clients".

Embarrassing.

 

[Urbanyst]

The fact that I am divorced (see good marriages are not for the lazy - above) has no bearing whatsoever on the millions of ongoing successful marriages. So the fact that I happen to be divorced is irrelevant.

The fact that you are DIVORCED is totally relevant.

Like saying.. the fact that I crashed my car has no relevance when talking about safe or SMART driving skills. Oh.. yes it does.

How do you define a "successful marriage" by the way? Would love to know.

You have never been married yourself, so following your logic your viewpoint is less relevant than my own, for you in fact have objectively ZERO perspective in the matter as an individual whereas I do objectively have that set of experience in my life lexicon as an individual.

LOL. Do you need to have driving experience to know that writing an email on your iphone while eating an ice cream cone while you drive is not safe or SMART?

Nah.

Reality is strictly empirical. However no human being exists in a purely empirical way. Rather all human beings exist through perception, which is the filtering of empirical reality by the mind. The gap between reality and perception is where beliefs enter into the picture. Attitude can't change reality. Attitude CAN and DOES change perception.

Learn to distinguish between reality and perception.

Take your own advice.

REALITY is marriage is stupid based on provable FACTS.

Perception is marriage is worth doing because you can "vet" the perfect unicorn lol.

 

[Serenity]

The defining factor shouldn't be material wealth, but ego [spiritual poverty]. Egos [individualism... obsession with self] are what destroy marriages. Now if a woman with high net worth is likelier to have a strong ego, then it would be better to marry a woman of low net worth.

Or again, there is no wealth but life. If two self-protecting egos enter into a marriage, what kind of marriage would that be? It would certainly not be a very intimate one.

From my experience it's the women who have the least of material value who have the biggest egos. Women who have their own wealth are less in need and thus less likely to be an egotistical leech on my wealth. I have a mother with a negative balance, not only is she poor, she's in debt. She claims all sorts of altruistic sh!t, but really she's extremely selfish and needy. Which she wouldn't be if she wasn't poor and in debt.

Poor couples have a much harder time keeping up a marriage than wealthier couples. When worries about resources critical for survival are gone because the resources are there, then there's room to think about spiritual value.

Do not minimize the importance of material resources, without it the best case is we suffer and the worst case is we die. Marrying a woman with roughly equal resources AND you have a good bond with is a good idea. Had she been dirt poor I would not marry, the risk would outweigh the benefits.

So your situation is similar to @guru1000's side kick @BeTheChange , which is where you will marry as long as you have a financial gain associated with it? Which means it's actually the WOMAN in this case who needs to sign up for Guru's $20,000 "protect your assets" crash course?

The financial gain would be mutual in the form of tax cuts. She's marginally richer than me, we're talking a couple of thousand here. Not enough that it would impact any of our economies in any significant way. Safeguarding against losses would be insanely more expensive than the actual losses should we marry and divorce.

I think that's a completely different structure than what myself and @Urbanyst are arguing. We are discussing the vast majority of structures where it will be the man that would be the highest earner, not the woman.

I'm talking about dating and marrying a woman who's on the same level. So yeah, it's a completely different structure, you're talking about dating down. If I dated down then I agree, don't marry.

I can tell you this. As you know I'm black. I'm having a great year this year (not going to disclose the actual number, but I'm well into the multiple 6 figure range) and I have NEVER dated a black woman that was making near my level of income. I rarely......run into a black woman making $50,000 a year with good credit, I swear to you. And most of these chicks have bachelor's degrees and/or master's degrees.

Honestly I keep forgetting you're black. I can't really talk about black American women because I don't know anything other than stereotypes. Assuming the stereotypes are true I can understand why you wouldn't want to marry, neither would I if I were you.

As you know I'm white and Norwegian. The fvck do I know about black people struggles in the US, lol.

 

[sazc]

It's all a gamble, with no guarantees.

If it's something you want, make sure you have good communication with the person, and that you can be totally honest, and accepted, about what you are looking for. Pre marital counseling is a really good idea. We tend to shy away from the tough topics. Pre marital counseling forces those conversations.

No amount of vetting will guarantee anyone success. Life itself twists and turns, people change and the future is unpredictable.

Good luck

 

[guru1000]

20 pages of horse sh*t and emotional crap.

ZERO intelligent or SMART arguments lol.

Read up. Your boy Tenacity jumped ship and joined the pro-open-to-marriage camp.

Now I’m going to give you a mind-fvck, you’ll join too and have no one left in your camp. LOL

 

[Urbanyst]

Read up. Your boy Tenacity jumped ship and joined the pro-open-to-marriage camp.

Now I’m going to give you a mind-fvck, you’ll join too and have no one left in your camp. LOL

Do you ever stop lying? @Tenacity has not joined the "marriage camp" any more than I have.

How about YOU read up and find the page where I list THREE situations where marriage might actually make logical sense. I also say in a later post that I would be open to marriage in one particular situation. Can you find it? I wrote far less horse sh*t than you did so I'm surprised your memory is failing to early.

Its amazing how I'm the one arguing AGAINST marriage.. yet I can come up with more SMART reasons to get married than you can LOL.

 

[guru1000]

All the pro-guys have certain conditions. Wow, much easier than I thought. Welcome aboard.

Any other oppositions, this was too easy.

 

[Urbanyst]

All the pro-guys have certain conditions. Wow, much easier than I thought. Welcome aboard.

Any other oppositions, this was too easy.

Is it? lol.

Everyone has their price. For the right price I would do a lot of STUPID things.

I'm asking you to explain how marriage is not STUPID and you can't.

 

[guru1000]

Is it? lol.

Everyone has their price. For the right price I would do a lot of STUPID things.

I'm asking you to explain how marriage is not STUPID and you can't.

It’s a stupid question considering we have 22 pages of examples. Let’s see if you understand this summary:

Probability of Overall Value Gained > Probability of Overall Value Lost whereas Overall Value Gained cannot be attained equally or greater otherwise and is material and Overall Value Lost is insignificant.

 

[Serenity]

@Urbanyst and @guru1000 the only thing stupid here is the fact that you're both too stubborn to give up, so the discussion is pointless.

I'm on both sides of this fence, choosing whatever suits me in a given context. You're speaking in different contexts treating each other's arguments as if it applied in your own contexts.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Do not minimize the importance of material resources, without it the best case is we suffer and the worst case is we die. Marrying a woman with roughly equal resources AND you have a good bond with is a good idea. Had she been dirt poor I would not marry, the risk would outweigh the benefits.
.

Yes, you're right, a modicum of material wealth is often beneficial. It's probably those who don't have any, on the one hand, or too much, on the other, that have the problem with ego/ individualism.

The problem is too many people want it too much today [envy], and then people who have it often can not say 'enough' [avarice].

I don't think we can get away from these matters of the heart when we are talking about.... matters of the heart.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Ok.. so if you believe marriage is STUPID.. why are you defending it? Why would you encourage or defend something STUPID?

And I never said there are no "good women" or that all women are "bad". To be honest, summarizing something as complex as a human personality into "good" and "bad" is ignorant and STUPID in itself. There is no such thing as a "good" or "bad" person lol. We can only judge people by their ACTIONS because no one ever really knows the true motivations of another person or their true level of intelligence, knowledge or even mental illness.

Since people are complex and living in a fast changing world.. signing a CONTRACT designed around primitive times (when people were still wiping their asses bare handed) which bets on someone having CONSISTENT emotions, values, desires and priorities from now until they DIE is so colossally absurd it's laughable. You have to be a true imbecile to do it lol.

Well if you refer back to my very FIRST post in this thread, you will see why. I directly answer that question.

The hard part is finding such a person. But you actually still CAN figure out someone’s intelligence levels and their mental state if you deal with them enough times. You can peice together who they are and figure them out. It takes more than direct verbal language to COMPLETELY realize what type of person they are, but you can still do it. I do it all the time whenever I decide to get to know someone better than I normally would. I think that most people do something similar too if I’m completely honest with you.... Based upon how well you know that person, you will be to at least somewhat dictate their actions through yours, and predict how they will react next. It’s not foolproof but only for the ****tiest of people. Most others you will be able to tell. No need to be a psychologist. Just social skills that you acquired growing up in middle school and high school. It’s more common sense to most people I should think....

 

[Trainwreck]

Even if you find the right person, there's no guarantee that she or he lol will be the same person 5 or 10 years down the road. However, there's plenty pros to marriage like you'll always have support, it's not frowned upon, economic benefits, and so on. Would I do it? Probably because of the economic benefits and if I wanted to move to let's say Los Angeles, I would have a friend there already. I will not however take this draconian doomsday approach to life that the red pillers and mgtow adhere to.

 

[Tenacity]

Read up. Your boy Tenacity jumped ship and joined the pro-open-to-marriage camp.

Now I’m going to give you a mind-fvck, you’ll join too and have no one left in your camp. LOL

Tenacity ain't jumped ship no where........I honestly believe if you and @BeExcellent are so comfortable giving your money away, why don't you give it to your boy Tenacity?? Hell, at least I'll invest it in some of these up and coming technologies which have the chance to be HUGE in the next couple of years! Or, hell, I might even put some of it in Bitcoin (even though I'm not a fan of the crypto-currencies at all).

Even if you find the right person, there's no guarantee that she or he lol will be the same person 5 or 10 years down the road. However, there's plenty pros to marriage like you'll always have support, it's not frowned upon, economic benefits, and so on. Would I do it? Probably because of the economic benefits and if I wanted to move to let's say Los Angeles, I would have a friend there already. I will not however take this draconian doomsday approach to life that the red pillers and mgtow adhere to.

I'm not going to lie bro, Tyquesha's booty gets bigger and BETTER every time I see it....it be making me "feel some type of way" bro . I might need to sign up for Guru's $20,000 crash course because Tyquesha got me mesmerizedddd

 

[Urbanyst]

Well if you refer back to my very FIRST post in this thread, you will see why. I directly answer that question.

The hard part is finding such a person. But you actually still CAN figure out someone’s intelligence levels and their mental state if you deal with them enough times. You can peice together who they are and figure them out. It takes more than direct verbal language to COMPLETELY realize what type of person they are, but you can still do it. I do it all the time whenever I decide to get to know someone better than I normally would. I think that most people do something similar too if I’m completely honest with you.... Based upon how well you know that person, you will be to at least somewhat dictate their actions through yours, and predict how they will react next. It’s not foolproof but only for the ****tiest of people. Most others you will be able to tell. No need to be a psychologist. Just social skills that you acquired growing up in middle school and high school. It’s more common sense to most people I should think....

Yet the DIVORCE rate remains around 50%.

Even many people here who "vet" well are DIVORCED lol.

 

[Urbanyst]

It’s a stupid question considering we have 22 pages of examples. Let’s see if you understand this summary:

Probability of Overall Value Gained > Probability of Overall Value Lost whereas Overall Value Gained cannot be attained equally or greater otherwise and is material and Overall Value Lost is insignificant.

Is that a FACT?

Nope. Lol.

 

[Urbanyst]

I will not however take this draconian doomsday approach to life that the red pillers and mgtow adhere to.

Stop being dramatic.

We are talking about the FACTS of what makes marriage a smart or stupid decision. There is no "doomsday" talk here.

 

[BeExcellent]

Now you are just being silly @Tenacity

Sure I'd help support you IF you were the father of my 3 children, IF you were working a lower paying job specifically to benefit the children and IF your presence as a parent AND your choice NOT to strip away my assets had enabled my financial success.

My ex husband, for all his lazy habits, meets ALL those criteria. You meet none. Sorry.

 

[Tenacity]

Yet the DIVORCE rate remains around 50%.

Even many people here who "vet" well are DIVORCED lol.

Here's some stunning stats on divorce:

https://www.wevorce.com/blog/6-surprising-divorce-statistics-divorce-2017/

http://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/

Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Within the first 5 years of the marriage, nearly 80% (yes 80%) of the married couples are experiencing some sort of issue that is putting them at, near, or around divorce (they could be in counseling for example). 60% of all 2nd marriages end in divorce and nearly 75% of third marriages end in divorce. I'm sorry, but I think marriage is the stupidest thing a man OR woman can do today. It's clearly an outdated medium........clearly.

 

[guru1000]

Vetting Tenacity, vetting. What does this chart tell you:

And:

Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce