where'd my friends go ??

[Drum&Bass]

75% of my friends are with girlfriends on the verge of marriage, 5% are AFC and 20% don't do anything but work, smoke pot and sleep.

....which leaves me (drug free still into hanging out and always learning and growing)..with no real friends anymore.

I could suck it up and hang out with my pussy whipped buddies who have girlfriends but they are NOT that much fun to be around and don't have any similar interests as me.

matter of fact it seems like ALL of my friends except for a few have stopped growing. The few friends whose company I enjoy and have things in common with live in other states and countries.

wtf hoppened' ??

 

[azanon]

75% of my friends are with girlfriends on the verge of marriage, 5% are AFC and 20% don't do anything but work, smoke pot and sleep.

....which leaves me (drug free still into hanging out and always learning and growing)..with no real friends anymore.

I could suck it up and hang out with my pussy whipped buddies who have girlfriends but they are NOT that much fun to be around and don't have any similar interests as me.

matter of fact it seems like ALL of my friends except for a few have stopped growing. The few friends whose company I enjoy and have things in common with live in other states and countries.

wtf hoppened' ??

Hi D&B. Welcome to my world!

My theory on this as it relates to me, is that people just get too specialized in their interests, and just too busy with whatever they're doing. For me, the best I've been able to do is just have different friends for different things. For instance, I play tennis so I have a few "tennis friends" that I play/compete with. But outside tennis, we're not really friends.

Anyway, when you get that mystery solved, let me in on some pointers!

 

[randomusername]

I get this too....a lot of my friends ended up with the girls they swore several years ago they wouldn't be with....some of the girls are honestly below them and they are settling down just to make sure they don't die alone....they still want to be on the loose and what not.....otherwise they wouldn't still go out with me to bars and trips out of town and try to get laid. one minute they're right next to me chatting up to girls and saying how they are going to "so get laid" but then they sigh and go back to their stable, boring lives. whatever...they can do what they want...

its crazy, some of my friends have a lot going for them but they lose confidence.....its like they are defeated. maybe the girls are nice and special...but most of them lost their edge and seem to be just settling for the first girl that will take them in.

 

[st_99]

Yep, I'm in the same boat... The friends that I have that are single are drug addicts which is very annoying and they're complete and total losers. The non druggie friends that I have, well they're married and are pretty boring to hang with. Certainly doesnt make for a good social circle.. I wish I had a nice solid circle of friends that are similar to myself but instead I find that I have a fragmented array of friends and I either cant stand them or we just dont have much in common..

 

[rocketman7]

I know where your coming from

A lot of my friends have "evaporated" they are either married, moved away or they just want to stay home and watch tv every weekend! It's tough to make new friends, buy it can be done. Going back to college and taking some interesting classes that you like is one good way. Check out meetup.com they have a boat load of groups to join all over the country.

- Paul

 

[penkitten]

your friends might have gotten married but they are not dead.
sometimes they want to take a break and just hang with their new loved one. sometimes the person they married doesn't want them going out alone because they are afraid of something happening or they just want to see how much control they have in the marriage.
however, your friend did not die, he just got married.
invite him to do something his wife can join in on.
get to know them as a couple.
then she will get to know you, like you and trust you to go do things with your friend all alone.

your friend still needs the friendship with you. he still needs an outlet.
dont give up on him completely yet.

 

[DJDamage]

invite him to do something his wife can join in on.
get to know them as a couple.
then she will get to know you, like you and trust you to go do things with your friend all alone.

your friend still needs the friendship with you. he still needs an outlet.
dont give up on him completely yet.

I disagree with this statment.

Friendship is a two way street, if a man can't go out with his buds because of a wife then he is hopeless. Why should a friend tries to accomodate this wuss and his wife? that just ruins all the fun of being a guy.

I had a friend that got married and I barley hear from him. Now he has to do things like a couple. I remember he invited me and another couple to his house to watch a basketball game. So here we are 5 of us watching a basketball game with the other guy who doesn't watch sports and the two women talking to each other through out the game. They were talking about every day stuff and not about the game which was annoying.

It was an unnatural atmosphere, I wanted to curse at the t.v and talk about women's ass and t1ts but noooo now I have to clean up my language and behaviour, fvck that. His wife can domesticate her husband but not me, I don't have to be a part of this.

 

[penkitten]

damage that is weird.
why are wives watching the game?
how come they aren't in the kitchen making snacks and talking in there?

 

[lookyoung]

Welcome to being in your late twenties. This is the age when most people tend to settle down. I remember up until I was 27 I would go clubbing with a very large crew. Anywhere from 15-30 guys but now at this age it is usually 3 of us. No big deal.. One of the negative aspects of approaching 30.

Another reason for this is that you have changed and your friends have changed. From 21 to 27 people change alot.

 

[DJDamage]

damage that is weird.
why are wives watching the game?
how come they aren't in the kitchen making snacks and talking in there?

You do live in North America right?

Here its quite acceptable for couples to do everything together. Just the other day I saw some poor sap holding his wife purse and standing outside the change room in a department store while she tried on some cloths. How sad and pathetic is that??!!

 

[thegenerousjew]

Personally I'm not too fond of hanging out in a group if I'm the only single guy. It's rather annoying. Couples have this habit of going "we" all the time. What's up with that?

We spend all our teenage years rebelling and trying to be individual and when we grow up its all about our individuality, but the second two people become a couple its's almost all "we this, we that" AARGH!

Oki I know it's a rant and not very constructive so does anyone have anything insightful to say?

 

[Drum&Bass]

too true....its not that I've given up on my friends who have women in their lives for the long term, but they have become different people...LESS exciting. Now all they live for is watching TV and complaining about how miserable they are at their sucky jobs.

They've lost spontaneity and look for reasons to NOT do things that could be fun. Maybe they have all their fun in private with their girls/wives while the rest of us single guys don't get to see that private world.

but I highly doubt that last statement*

AND I HATE WHEN THE MARRIED/NON-SINGLE GUYS START CALLING THE SHOTS FOR WHEN THEY WANT TO HANG OUT. LIKE THEIR SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME THAT I HAVE TO WORK AROUND THEIR SCHEDULE TO HANG OUT !! fuck that and fuck them !

 

[STR8UP]

Welcome to being in your late twenties. This is the age when most people tend to settle down. I remember up until I was 27 I would go clubbing with a very large crew. Anywhere from 15-30 guys but now at this age it is usually 3 of us. No big deal.. One of the negative aspects of approaching 30.

Another reason for this is that you have changed and your friends have changed. From 21 to 27 people change alot.

Marriage tends to suck the life out of a single guy. Sorry ladies, but it's true.

I've been that guy. Not married, mind you, but definitely domesticated to the point where I had no motivation to hang out and do guy things anymore. When I got out of that situation I looked back on my behavior and couldn't believe the way I was acting.

The good thing is I know better than to get sucked into that trap again, and now I am in my mid 30's and I have more friends to party with than ever. Might have to do with the fact that a lot of them are younger, but I'm pretty thankful that I have a good strong social network regardless.

 

[penkitten]

You do live in North America right?

Here its quite acceptable for couples to do everything together.

yes damage.. i was making a joke.
i grew up in the south and maybe it was just because of where i lived or the people i knew.... i'm not sure which... but the women made the snacks for the game parties.
ask anyone...
who makes the best game day cheese dip? penkitten
who makes the best game day lil smoked sausages? penkitten
who makes the best game day lasagna? penkitten
who makes the best game day peanut butter cookies? penkitten
how can she make the best game day stuff? cause she would rather be in the kitchen listening to music cooking than in there watching a game trying to quietly figure out what is going on.

and if its a big big game.... tell me a few days beforehand so i can take the girl children outta the house.

i thought all households were like that honestly.

 

[penkitten]

Marriage tends to suck the life out of a single guy. Sorry ladies, but it's true.

any relationship can suck the life outta anyone if they dont have any other outlets, right?

 

[STR8UP]

any relationship can suck the life outta anyone if they dont have any other outlets, right?

True, but it tends to change a man for the worse more so than it does a woman.

 

[Vulpine]

Making that "whip crack" noise all the time gets old. I've had some friends where I might just as well have substituted "whoooPishT!" for their names.

Then I realized that, "They've got a new friend". Aww... that's cute, maybe you can have her help you gut and drag your deer, have her help you with that transmission, and maybe she can help you get over her when she tosses your azz aside for being a wishy-washy douchebag without conviction.

Yeah, people just don't know how to be a friend, much less treat their friends. It would seem that people really don't hold their friends with much regard these days.

I'm thankful that douchebags evacuate themselves from my life.

You hear of this "my gf/wife won't let me hang out with my friends" gripe from guys all the time!

HOW!?! WHY!?!

Dude, I knew this guy for better than 13 years. We were great friends and been through all sorts of sh!t. Then, he meets a chick, a year later they get married, and 6 months later he tells me: "I'm not allowed to hang out with you anymore."

Uh...

Did he just say: "I'm not allowed to"????

I had no idea this whole time that my friend was such a wussbag.

Harsh.

I mean, it gets no more wussbag than that. That's THE pinnacle of douche-ocity: My wife makes the rules like I'm a 5 year old kid, and I recite those rules to my adult male friends without shame, without being humiliated.

' My wifey tells me not to hang out with strangers, and she doesn't know you guys, so you're strangers: I can't get in cars with you or talk to you anymore. Oops, it's getting dark guys, I have to get home otherwise I'll get in trouble! Bye! '


Damn AFC's. After this dude tells me, "I'm not allowed to hang out with you anymore." I told him:

"Dude, I remember picking you up and giving you a cigar the night you lost your virginity."

And that's the last we ever spoke.

I just shook my head and walked away.

 

[T Dog]

This post really hits home.

A dog is truely a man's best friend.