Where to meet quality women (NYC / NJ edition)

[Divorced w 3]

Anyone have any good recommendations, not specifically but in general ideas, ie not a particular restaurant, function or whatever but in a general way.

Also, to define quality, you may I guess use the idea of lower body count, active, submissive, family focused, ie wife material. 20’s to early 30’s hard stop, that if they liked you would be open to a relationship with kids.

I have no issue getting easy lays at the bar, I’m interested in ideas on something you really want to hang on to.

Any ideas here guys?

 

[Divorced w 3]

Day one:
1: slid into former colleagues DM. She’s a realtor and she posted a video of a building that looked like it got hit by a Palestinian rocket and said ‘anyone want to buy a fixer upper?’, I simply said ‘no’ and she did the laugh emoji so I waited like two hours. Hit her back and was like, ‘I ’m out early Friday afternoon, how about a quick coffee and catch up before I head down the shore?’ She said something back in like two minutes and was like ‘I have one showing in the afternoon…’ I can’t see the rest i am not going to open it until the morning. Keep you posted. She is a solid 8. Lebanese girl, 30 years old.

2: slid into the LinkedIn of a girl I met on New Year’s Eve. I was running my hands through her hair and she gave me the sad face when I didn’t ask her number, I actually hit her friend up, never followed through with her either and I figured time heals all wounds. Tell her, ‘hey, looks like it’s going to be pretty nice on Monday. Let’s grab a a coffee and catch up at Bryant Park?’ 7.5/8, Italian dark hair. 30. Keep you posted.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Day one:
1: slid into former colleagues DM. She’s a realtor and she posted a video of a building that looked like it got hit by a Palestinian rocket and said ‘anyone want to buy a fixer upper?’, I simply said ‘no’ and she did the laugh emoji so I waited like two hours. Hit her back and was like, ‘I ’m out early Friday afternoon, how about a quick coffee and catch up before I head down the shore?’ She said something back in like two minutes and was like ‘I have one showing in the afternoon…’ I can’t see the rest i am not going to open it until the morning. Keep you posted. She is a solid 8. Lebanese girl, 30 years old.

2: slid into the LinkedIn of a girl I met on New Year’s Eve. I was running my hands through her hair and she gave me the sad face when I didn’t ask her number, I actually hit her friend up, never followed through with her either and I figured time heals all wounds. Tell her, ‘hey, looks like it’s going to be pretty nice on Monday. Let’s grab a a coffee and catch up at Bryant Park?’ 7.5/8, Italian dark hair. 30. Keep you posted.

1: going out 12/11. She called me this afternoon

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Try quality bookstores.

 

[SW15]

Try quality bookstores.

I like this idea and have done approaches in the bookstores in my area.

In my experience, bookstores are not great for approaching. There are few prospects in a given bookstore at any time. However, if a man is willing to linger around a bigger city bookstore for 2-3 hours, he would be able to make a few approaches. It would be more of a quality play over quantity.

If a man goes to a nightlife venue, the woman are already congregated and he is able to make approaches without waiting.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If a man goes to a nightlife venue, the woman are already congregated and he is able to make approaches without waiting.

The quality of the women at the nightlife venue often leaves something to be desired.

In my experience, bookstores are not great for approaching. There are few prospects in a given bookstore at any time. However, if a man is willing to linger around a bigger city bookstore for 2-3 hours, he would be able to make a few approaches. It would be more of a quality play over quantity.

Of course I'm not familiar with the bookstores in your area, but I like bookshop approaches for several reasons:

• bookshop customers are in general 'browsing' and not in a a hurry
• with regards to 'prospects', Dutch bookshops seem to have plenty of customers any time of the day, and the majority is female
• approaches are not 'cold' as you can see what books readers are looking for, which tells you a lot about a woman
• opening conversations are easy, you can ask customers about likes and dislikes, or advice
• readers often like to discuss what they read
• many bigger bookshops have a 'sit down' area, where you can have quiet conversations
• many bigger bookshops have a coffee corner where you can invite a reader to join without leaving the shop (low threshold instant coffee date)
• women who read books are invariably higher in education and intelligence
• conversations are not viewed in general as seduction, so you can easily meet and talk with women without looking like a player.

Of course, you should be a reader yourself in order to approach women at bookshops, but I'm a novelist and poet myself (which women often find fascinating), so bookshops are attractive 'hunting grounds' for me.

For non-readers, you can approach women to ask them about books you might want to gift to a friend or something like that, but you'd show yourself to women who read and might not be interested in a non-reader.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Day two:
3: texted this chick, this is the one from back in March and then I ghosted her, back in June and then I ghosted her, drunk dial August and then literally blocked her, and then I hit her up yesterday and we have plans Sunday. She must be planning to rob me at gunpoint. I don’t understand this. But she’s stupid hot, I don’t know if it’s quality in my holistic terms but she’s absolutely a bomb so, whatever.
4: colleague gives me phone number of mom dtf going through divorce. She replies is ‘this the guy her and Lisa know from the gym’. (Hint: no) This is a layup but not quality.
5: I lean into my colleagues assistant after chatting the 27 year old up in front of her for like 45 minutes. You know the drill the 27 year old was doing kino on me etc. and was like ‘remember I helped you with a webinar a few months back’, which I didn’t remember and was funny. I put my arm around her waist as I tell the assistant on the way out the door from the bar ‘remember that time around now last year that Steve told her to grab you a cab home instead of letting me drive you back, I’ll give you a call and we will go out in the next couple of weeks’ she at this up like a chicken parm. This girl is quality.

 

[SW15]

I'm not familiar with the bookstores in your area, but I like bookshop approaches for several reasons:

you should be a reader yourself in order to approach women at bookshops, but I'm a novelist and poet myself (which women often find fascinating), so bookshops are attractive 'hunting grounds' for me.

For non-readers, you can approach women to ask them about books you might want to gift to a friend or something like that, but you'd show yourself to women who read and might not be interested in a non-reader.

I want to like bookstore approaches but I have found them problematic. I say this as a man who likes reading and exploring concepts. Over the years, it has been a disappointment to me that bookstores have not been a more fruitful venue for arranging dates. There also aren't many viable approaches in my experience.

There are two main bookstore chains in my area. There's Barnes & Noble, which is still the behemoth of bookstores in the United States. There's also one smaller chain that is a book discounter. I would rather buy books at this location because the prices are better than Barnes & Noble. The audience at this bookstore is less good looking because it is less upscale. Barnes & Noble is overall the better option for approaching as it has more physically attractive people.

bookshop customers are in general 'browsing' and not in a a hurry

with regards to 'prospects', Dutch bookshops seem to have plenty of customers any time of the day, and the majority is female

I'd agree on the unhurried part in my area as well. There are customers at the bookstores I've mentioned, but a lot are either married, older women and/or unattractive women. When I have tried to do bookstore approaches, I've generally tried on weekends.

approaches are not 'cold' as you can see what books readers are looking for, which tells you a lot about a woman

opening conversations are easy, you can ask customers about likes and dislikes, or advice...readers often like to discuss what they read

I disagree on the 'coldness' of an approach. A bookstore approach is still approaching a stranger. Stranger approaches in general are low probability. It's unknown if she's in the market for new romantic prospects when she's in a non-bar venue. In a bar, there's at least a decent probability she's considering new options. More unattached people spend more time in bars. I say these sentences as a man who prefers non-bar approaching to bar approaching in general, but this is a downside of non-bar approaching.

In non-bar approaching, including at bookstores, I can always open with a situational, observational opener. It's no different to me at the grocery store, bookstore, the mall, the general gym floor, or outdoors. I can have a more specific opener for fitness classes at gym but even after fitness classes, I might use a situational, observational opener. While books in a bookstore is a natural topic of discussion, it is no different than something in her grocery basket at a grocery store or something she's looking at in a grocery store.

many bigger bookshops have a 'sit down' area, where you can have quiet conversations
many bigger bookshops have a coffee corner where you can invite a reader to join without leaving the shop (low threshold instant coffee date)

A lot of the Barnes & Noble locations have a coffee shop/coffee corner in them too. That's no different in the USA as compared to the Netherlands. One location of that small regional chain I mentioned also has some sit down areas.

I don't like coffee dates in general but if I met someone good in an aisle or sit down area of a bookstore, an instantaneous coffee date could be useful. Coffee dates tend to be difficult for escalation and the environment in them is a less sexually charged environment. I want to be associated with a sexual vibe.

Some men are also good at picking up in the coffee shop section of a bookstore or in standalone coffee shops in general. I'm not much of a coffee drinker, so I've never had good coffee shop game. I also haven't tried much of coffee shop game.

women who read books are invariably higher in education and intelligence

This can be a good thing but I strongly believe that education is overrated in romantic partners. I don't find I'm compatible with women with advanced degrees. Women with advanced degrees are often less feminine and more career oriented, which is not what I desire. There are some exceptions to the rule with advanced degrees but they are very difficult to find. I prefer women with a bachelor's degree as compared to an advanced degree. I either like to date women with a bachelor's degree or non-bachelor's degree holders with a good trade certification. Many 'medical assistant' type women do not have bachelor's degrees but simply have a medical trade certification.

Intelligence isn't always related to having a bachelor's or advanced degree. I do like someone who can carry a conversation and has some level of intelligence. I am fine with dating women in the middle of the bell curve of intelligence. When considering intelligence, most women fall in the middle of the bell curve. The people at the sides of the curve (most intelligent and least intelligent) tend to be mainly men. Female intelligence clusters whereas male intelligence has a wider dispersion.

conversations are not viewed in general as seduction, so you can easily meet and talk with women without looking like a player.

The whole "looking like a player" thing is overrated. If a man is good looking enough or rich looking enough, a woman won't care too much if he "looks like a player". Bookstore approach conversations are pretty ordinary, as are most non-bar approaches in general.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

There's also one smaller chain that is a book discounter. I would rather buy books at this location because the prices are better than Barnes & Noble. The audience at this bookstore is less good looking because it is less upscale.

That's why I say 'quality' bookshops. We have book discounters here as well, and they attract 'cheaper' women.

I don't like coffee dates in general but if I met someone good in an aisle or sit down area of a bookstore, an instantaneous coffee date could be useful. Coffee dates tend to be difficult for escalation and the environment in them is a less sexually charged environment. I want to be associated with a sexual vibe.

I understand, but my approach is different, so I have no trouble sexualising the talk without become tacky or tawdry.

I disagree on the 'coldness' of an approach. A bookstore approach is still approaching a stranger. Stranger approaches in general are low probability. It's unknown if she's in the market for new romantic prospects when she's in a non-bar venue. In a bar, there's at least a decent probability she's considering new options. More unattached people spend more time in bars. I say these sentences as a man who prefers non-bar approaching to bar approaching in general, but this is a downside of non-bar approaching.

I did Telemarketing, so I know the difference. An observant player can check a bookstore browser at leisure and learn a lot about her from her clothes, her posture, the books she's interested in. At least, it's a lot 'warmer' (more informed) than stopping a woman in the street.

I want to be associated with a sexual vibe.

I'm not out for a quickie, I prefer to be associated with an intriguing/mysterious vibe rather than raw sexuality. More subtle, if you will.

 

[SW15]

An observant player can check a bookstore browser at leisure and learn a lot about her from her clothes, her posture, the books she's interested in. At least, it's a lot 'warmer' (more informed) than stopping a woman in the street.

Roosh called street game the most difficult venue hands down back in 2012.

How To Pick Up Girls On The Street

Based on my experiences with street type game, I agree.

In the 10+ years in my current city, I've done more of my street type game on designated recreational walking paths and occasionally in city parks. The walking paths are tough for game. Most women aren't receptive because they are moving and wearing headphones/earbuds. There is some natural stopping points on each of the trails where I game that are ideal for approaching but it's still tough.

@Divorced w 3 is near New York City, which is one of the few good US cities for pure city street game. Most US cities aren't well designed for street game. A lot of European cities are better for street game. The London Daygame Method (promoted by Tom Torero and Nick Krauser) was developed doing city street approaches in London.

In US cities in the Sun Belt region, most of the cities experienced much of their growth after World War II and are mainly automobile centric. In the Sun Belt, Miami is probably the best option for pure street game. The Brickell neighborhood in Miami is very conducive to street approaching, as is the South Beach section of neighboring Miami Beach.

That's why I say 'quality' bookshops. We have book discounters here as well, and they attract 'cheaper' women.

Barnes & Noble is the primary bookstore in the USA where the quality level would be possible.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Roosh called street game the most difficult venue hands down back in 2012.

How To Pick Up Girls On The Street

Based on my experiences with street type game, I agree.

In the 10+ years in my current city, I've done more of my street type game on designated recreational walking paths and occasionally in city parks. The walking paths are tough for game. Most women aren't receptive because they are moving and wearing headphones/earbuds. There is some natural stopping points on each of the trails where I game that are ideal for approaching but it's still tough.

@Divorced w 3 is near New York City, which is one of the few good US cities for pure city street game. Most US cities aren't well designed for street game. A lot of European cities are better for street game. The London Daygame Method (promoted by Tom Torero and Nick Krauser) was developed doing city street approaches in London.

In US cities in the Sun Belt region, most of the cities experienced much of their growth after World War II and are mainly automobile centric. In the Sun Belt, Miami is probably the best option for pure street game. The Brickell neighborhood in Miami is very conducive to street approaching, as is the South Beach section of neighboring Miami Beach.



Barnes & Noble is the primary bookstore in the USA where the quality level would be possible.

I am tempted to do street game. I think I could find a way to make it not a total creep situation. I get a lot of looks. The problem with street game in the city is if you’re in the corporate office sections you’re very likely meeting a non Manhattan resident including connecticut, Long Island. That is too far. I have my hands full in the boroughs I can’t imagine going beyond that. But nonetheless worth a shot for brushing up or midtown midday hookups.