Where to go with my Approach from here?

[nicksaiz65]

Hey guys. I’ve done 30 Approaches so far and pretty much all of my Approach Anxiety has died down. I’m shooting to do 40 more by the end of this school semester.

I’m thinking I need to re-haul my Approach Game, but I’m not sure exactly how I want to do it. I had considered going old school Mystery Method, going from Attraction->Comfort->Seduction. It seems to work well on a lot of dumb arrogant hoes in the field. But at the same time, it seems very constricting. I have to limit myself to each phase before I can move on. But hey, maybe that kind of structured Game would good for me and it may work on dumb hoes.

On the other hand, I thought back to my conference call with Dr. Nerdlove that I had about a month back. He said that you can’t treat approaches with girls like Computer Programming, and you’re never in one specific phase at any time. You’re always building Attraction, Comfort, and so on with girls. The Nerdlove Attraction Plan is something simple like Open, Build Rapport, Break Rapport, Flirt, Close. Very simple and flexible. On top of that, you can jump between the phases as much as you need. And prepare material/topics for if your mind goes blank. So very flexible and very powerful.

On the other hand, Mystery said that if you approach a snobbish b*tch and instantly start trying to build comfort, you’re gonna get laughed at and blown off. You have to hit her with those Demonstrations of Higher Value, be ****y and Funny, and Neg her first.

So I’m caught in between these two extremes. I really don’t know where I want to go with my Game from here. Can you guys give me some thoughts and point me in the right direction so I can do way more approaches with confidence?

 

[shouldbefun]

Can you write a fieldreport ?

I think what you want is to open up a chick and build it all, depending on how much time you have. I don’t think you need mystery method. Its not what you say but how you say it that matters.

How are you going to build comfort from the get go? Do you have an example of a comfort. Comfort is what makes you vulnerable and human.
Rapport is asking questions and agreeing/disagreeing with the other girl.

But hey im just a newb.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Can you write a fieldreport ?

I think what you want is to open up a chick and build it all, depending on how much time you have. I don’t think you need mystery method. Its not what you say but how you say it that matters.

How are you going to build comfort from the get go? Do you have an example of a comfort. Comfort is what makes you vulnerable and human.
Rapport is asking questions and agreeing/disagreeing with the other girl.

But hey im just a newb.

I usually don’t write out the actual words when I do my field reports cause that’s hella text. Maybe I should start doing that? I usually just focus on how the conversation went and the overall vibe.

I’d say building comfort is just finding those commonalities: “What do you do, what’s your favorite movie...” that kind of stuff.

Comfort and rapport have a lot of overlap.

I’m just kind of confused about which route I should take that will end in the least flakes/is better so I was wondering what you guys thought.

 

[nicksaiz65]

After some reading, I’m thinking a more natural style of Game would be better as opposed to something like Mystery Method. Too strict and structured for me.

 

[yuppaz]

I made the mistake of un structured game for years. I have come full circle. I see all these supposed gurus out there they basically do the same thing...try to dhv in some way, flirt, then get comfort with the girl after she had hooked. Honestly bro you can get really good with Mysfery Method. Doesn't mean you have to go full nerd but 1. Get HER to show you interest FIRST. 2. Start showing interest in her, but not as much 3. Comfort then 4. Seduce.

Follow the rules you will save years.

 

[apotheosis]

I feel like the answer to this isn't one size fits all! I think this explains why there are so many conflicting ideas in the PUA world, yet they ALL seem to kill it with girls! Mystery might say never do XXX and then some other guy ALWAYS does XXX and gets amazing results.

So, I think the type of game you should be running is based on, for example, your looks, your location, your natrual personality, the personality of the girl, and a million other things.

PERSONALLY, I kind of am in disagreement with the guy above, in that, following mysterymethod and structured game too much ended up doing more harm than good for me, I feel.

Having so many rules like not being allowed to ask questions, not being allowed to show intent until she does (she might NEVER show interest if you're not her type so you can waste all night on a set!), having to memorise 'attraction material' and to only be able to say certain memorised things at certain 'stages' of the interaction (that I had to asses in real time with compliance tests etc) just put my so in my head with analysis paralysis, that it killed me. Not to mention that I feel like mysterymethod is designed for AMERICAN girls in VIP venues. With UK girls (where I am) I think you SHOULD start more with 'comfort'. Talking to strangers is already weird here and freaks girls out. Start off with a neg and using 'breaking rapport tonality' etc, and you just increased your chances of her literally running away from you lol

IN fact, Vin Di Carlo is one of many who think mystery is wrong with his idea of 'attraction first'. Besides, we've all seen infields of people running the opposite of mysterymethod and killing it.

There is no one expert out there who has authority on this stuff imo. In my opinion, most of the 'rules' that are probably swimming around in your head are largely irrelevant, so don't worry about them too much. Much more important is just your general 'vibe'. MOST important is that she is free, single, and thinks you're fairly attractive. That last and most important part is basically out of your control.

So yeah, just experiment. Don't worry about rules and 'stages'. Try to wing it. Some girls will NEED lots of comfort at the beginning and might literally walk off it you open and start negging her etc (even playfully). And some girls might need lots of spiking at the open as opposed to comfort talk. Try to calibrate in the moment is my advice, but don't worry massively about any of it. Just try to show confidence. That's all 'game' really is. It's not some magic jedi mind trick where you say the right things at the right stages and then you can bang any girl you want

 

[apotheosis]

ps - Do a journal and try to include the actual words. Some people seem to take the 'what you say doesn't matter' thing a bit too far and it's only when they post fairly detailed FR's where you can see where the problem might lie!
I like this journal: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/100-approaches.251860/