Where to from here?

[testerss]

Evening guys, I'm at uni in the UK and have been lurking for a while.

I've read the Bible and have looked through a lot of posts on here, and it seems like an excellent community. I first looked at the site after breaking up with a girl I was seeing a few weeks ago, 'cos I screwed it big time by being an AFC!

Now I've got my eye on a girl that is on my course. We were chatting before the lesson (seem to have similar interests, although I think she's shy) and she sat next to me after walking into the room. She is having difficulty with certain parts of the course, so being the generous chap I am I spoke to her after a lesson today and offered to help her with the parts she doesn't understand. She was quite enthusiastic and we swapped numbers. I imagine she is under the impression that academic assistance is the reason for the swap.

My question to you guys is: what is the next move? We have a lecture on the subject on Thursday, so my plan is to call her in the morning, suggest we meet up after the lecture (ending late in the afternoon) and grab some food and discuss the lecture and it's content to make sure she understands it. After that bit's over should it be treated as a first date (kino, conversation topics and direction of conversation etc)?

Or should I wait until after Christmas (cos we all go home for a few weeks)?

Due to the UK factor, I'm not sure if all of the advice on here is applicable, but I'll sure as hell try what I can from your suggestions on this and from the posts I've read so far (as well as the Bible, of course!)

Thanks in advance guys and I look forward to hearing your opinions and thoughts!

 

[Slickster]

Where to start with you??? My concern is that you are going to end up in the friendzone real fast. There are a few paths this will probably take.

A. You tutor her, become friends, no chance of anything else.
B. You forget about helping her, seduce her from the start. Let it be known that you are interested in more than friendship.
C. You tutor her, become friends, now your seduction is going to have to move very slowly so as not to scare her off.

Some things you should keep in mind:

1. Don't call her in the morning. You're going to see her in class anyway.

2. Don't offer your help anymore. You already told her you'd help her. Its her turn to ask for it if she needs/wants it.

3. Don't pay her too much attention. Don't sit by her all the time, don't stare at her in class, etc.

Basically my point is that if you are using your class to seduce her then you are going to creep her out. Don't think because you are doing her a favor she is going to be attracted to you.

If you want to help her, fine then help her. Keep your tutoring time professional-like.

This is a tough one because you are going to come off as totally lame if you are using your tutoring to seduce her.

Keep the two separate.

Class time is a great time to demonstrate your excellence. Social proof, answering teachers questions, cracking a joke that makes the whole class laugh, social situations, etc.

My choice would be to avoid her in class. Pretend she's not even there. Talk to everyone else but her. Try and run into her in a non-class setting ie. after class, in the cafeteria, etc. Avoid the topic of class and ask her out on an action date (something fun, not just dinner or lunch). If she approaches you for help then enthusiastically say "Sure sounds good I'm pretty busy but give me a call whenever your free." Then ask her out right there, but don't make it sound like you are asking. "Hey I'm heading to xyz on Friday night you should come its going to be fun."

 

[NewMan]

Don't offer to tutor her.

You run the risk of her using you and playing you just for your help. You never want that to happen.

Then what will you do. She will hang with you because your helping her - and using your skills - but not bedroom skills.

I remember reading the same story from someone else a few months ago. He helped a girl with College work, and she just played him all along.

You should let her know (by your actions) early on that your interested in her.

Only AFC's believe they can get the girl by helping her. Thats the nivce guy way

 

[testerss]

Cheers for the advice - she called me this morning to ask for some advice, called her just now (in the evening) and spoke briefly, but she was busy (could hear she was as well!) and said to meet tomorrow before or after the lecture.

I was going to ask her out for a drink later this evening but tonight and pretty much until I go home I have a lot of other engagements so if I do ask her out it'll be in the New Year. In that respect I'm glad she was busy!

Will try and read her IL tomorrow and see whether it was genuine busyness or zero IL.

What do you guys think? I think I just called genuinely at a bad time.

 

[DankNuggs]

I think bad advice is being given...Seeing as I've had some success with this situation, I'll lend my experience...take it or leave it...

I had a girl in a business class in the same situation, when we would study I'd be cracking c&f the entire time...After we finished studying we'd discuss what was up for the evening, catching a party, going for or drink, or just hang out, smoke a J, drink some wine and "watch a movie"

Shows your the total package and they eat it up...If you can make the studying fun for her, it knocks down all the boundaries...Dont consider it the traditional tutor/student relationship...use the opportunity to build rappore while her guard is down...

 

[testerss]

Plus there's the advantage that by making studying fun for her she'll understand it better, and I'll have more motivation to actually study the subject!

Cheers!

 

[Slickster]

Dank Nuggs

Your ideas sound good but it kind of depends on how high the chicks IL is initially. In your situation it sounds like that chick had some IL in you already. In this case if you sense high IL then go for it.

However, if the chick genuinely just needs help with her school work and has little interest its not going to work. Trying to seduce her while studying together is way too transparent. If you're going to do it you have to be sly and take it slowly. Don't let her know you have an agenda.

Testerss was planning on calling her before class to set up a study date before he even knows if she is going to understand the subject matter! She has to ask for help not the other way around.

Otherwise she'll sense he's coming on to her and be avoiding him like the plague or using him and stringing him along all the way.

 

[NewMan]

Guys,

Why the F does this guy want to be her tutor? He wants to bang her not mentor her.

The tutoring has nothing to do with whether she's going to be into him or not.

think about these possible outcomes:

1) she's not into him, so she's using him to get free tutor lessons. - thats a sh#t situation.

2) she's into him - so he hooks up with her - THEN and only then if she's cool he can offer to help her out.

Option 2 is the best, that way if she's not into you, you don't have to waste your time.

I'll add this.

The fact that he's posting these questions - means she's probably not interested.

So I would not help her.

 

[testerss]

I'll try and judge her IL tomorrow then and take it from there.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You people need to cut the crap about the socalled FRIENDZONE.... It's not a problem aslong as you don't make it one or try to get there.

 

[Speed Demond]

dude man..ask her out for coffee one night..don't look too eager.....but have fun with it..experiment!

Good luck!

 

[Walden]

What can I say here that isn't just amplification.
If you tutor her for too long you'll pitch for the friendzone which , I would argue will SERIOUSLY hamper your attempts to get in the @ssƒucking zone which presumably is where you really want to be.

Ask her out and make your intentiopns clear.

Good luck!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Walden
What can I say here that isn't just amplification.
If you tutor her for too long you'll pitch for the friendzone which , I would argue will SERIOUSLY hamper your attempts to get in the @ssƒucking zone which presumably is where you really want to be.

Ask her out and make your intentiopns clear.

Good luck!

Intentions clear. That means you don't hide the fact that you want to bang her in order to get "in" with her. If you're offering to tutor her and hide the fact that what you're angling for, in reality, is a sort-of date, then you're deceiving her, and she's going to think your'e just being friendly, and when you make a move on her it's gonna creep her out.

She should KNOW from the beginning that the whole "tutoring" thing is just a vector for you two spending time together and becoming more intimate. This is not something you should HIDE, this is something you should be PROUD of. You are a MAN.

She can't judge your sexual/romantic side if you try to hide it from her. Then when you finally make your move and she tries to evaluate it, she'll remember that she's never seen your sexual side and will assume that you don't HAVE one. i.e. you will be a boring romantic partner.