where to draw the line with my girl

[Chickfight]

Thanks for the input, f2383000. What tips do you have for becoming non-caring and indifferent? That seems to me to be the hardest part. Also, do you think it is truly impossible to simply address the issue and have her discontinue her flirtatious behavior without coming across as insecure?

Chickfight, that is what I'm currently planning to do. But I'm considering everything that everyone says. What f2383000 does make a lot of sense and speaks to the fears that I haven't wanted to confront. what if she goes out one night and gets drunk and acts that way, and some super dominant guy just escalates on her and fvcks her? But on the other side of the spectrum, the relationship so far has been extremely emotionally rewarding and me and her have extremely compatible personalities (except for the whole touchy feely social butterfly thing). It seems equally silly to me to simply give up and distance myself without even trying to make it work.

Ask yourself this. What's sounds more insecure, telling her in an assertive way that you find the way she is behaving disrespectful.. or ignoring it and letting her continue her ways, while trying to fvck her as much as you can because you live in fear that some super dominant guy is going to come and take her away?

Setting the rules and not tolerating her breaking them are the actions of a dominant male. There's no emotion in any of this. No anger, no jealousy and no insecurity. You simply have your principles that you don't tolerate disrespect and if she breaks them she's out. However, she's not being disrespectful if she doesn't know her behavior is unacceptable. As soon as you're positive she knows your rules and she still chooses to break them, that's disrespectful and then you walk away.

I don't care what stage of a relationship you're in with a girl. If she wants your time and to be with you, then it's your way or the highway. That's how you get her respect. Fvck that 50/50 crap. It's more like 70/30. The man holds the majority share. Doesn't mean she doesn't get a say, but you make the ultimate decisions. Call me sexist, but that's the key to a satisfying relationship for both of you. A man leads and a woman follows. It's the way we are.

So yes, I agree with your course of action. Let us know how it goes.

 

[ELMER_GANTRY]

All these new threads sound similar to me, mostly the same stories but worded differently, but basically the same.

I should add this to the tips section for all these guys who come on and write like this.

I don't know why all these guys are so upset and complain about these girls they are dating when they are not official. If you are not official, she is not your girlfriend, so basically she can flirt, hold hands, make out, and f*** any guy she wants to. If you happen to be banging her, that is great, but she is not your girlfriend, she your f*** buddy, and you shouldn't be upset until she is actually yours. Then again, she might be doing that behind your back. If a girl wants to be with you, she will, she won't say I have strong feelings for you, she will show them and want to be with you. She won't be flirting with others guys in front of you, giving out numbers, holding hands, and leading you on. She is your f*** buddy and that is what she should be used for. Because why would you want a girlfriend like that? She will be doing that to you in the relationship. My motto is use the sluts for f*** buddies, and find a high quality girl for your girlfriend, that is how it should be, and what you should do my friends.

Hey all,

Long story short, I've been unofficially dating this girl for about two weeks now. Met her like 2.5 months ago. It's not an "official" relationship (because she's going to be leaving the area permanently) but the emotions are there and they're strong, and we're basically boyfriend/girlfriend and we've had talks that we're basically going to be exclusive.

She is not your girlfriend and actions spreak louder than words. If she wanted to be bf/gf she already would of, not just talk about it. If she is leaving then why do you care?


My issue with her is that she is excessively friendly and touchy feely with people. "People" meaning other guys. She's from a hispanic background and I know this is probably somewhat culturally related, but it bothers me. She'll dance with other guys, hold their hands, touch them on the leg, give her number out, etc. all while I'm there. She basically doesn't seem to realize the kinds of signals she gives off to these other guys when she does this.

She knows what she is doing, and again, she is not your girlfriend. If she wanted to be with you she already would of. Not having exclusive talks.

She's already told me on multiple occasions (WITHOUT me prompting her/asking her) that I was the only guy she wanted to sleep with and that she had no interest in being with anyone else. Additionally she's told me on multiple occasions how strong of an emotional connection she feels with me and she's been brought to tears by the strength of these emotions and I've seen this before my very eyes.

I'm sure...Some of my friends had girls tell them that and they were out banging other guys. If she felt that strong emotional connection with you, she would be your girlfriend. Talk is cheap.


However she still does the touchy feely crap and it bugs the hell out of me. Just a few days ago we were downtown (me my roommate and her) and I saw her holding hands with my roommate a couple times. I don't feel as if this is something that a girl who you're basically exclusive with should be doing with other guys. Especially because my roommate has been acting real smug, as if he could fvck her if he wanted to. Sure I'm the one smashing her and I shouldn't care but it really does bother me.

He's banging her too. She is your f*** buddy so why should you care? You shouldn't get attatched to girls like this.


Now here's my dilemma. I feel as if it'd be a massively insecure move to just straight up tell my girl that I hate when she does that stuff. I feel as if it'll make me look extremely jealous and weak. But on the other hand I feel as if there's a line that she shouldn't cross if she wants to be in a relationship and I feel as if the things I've just described cross the line, especially since they make other guys start chasing her, etc. I'll be honest -it's made me extremely extremely insecure about her, especially since my feelings for her are so strong. I'm just not sure about how to approach the issue with her or whether to at all. But it's driving me crazy.

She is not your girlfriend, so bang her when you can, and leave it at that. If she wanted to commit to you, she already would of. She doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. It sucks that she is disrespecting you and leading you on, but look at it this way.....if she is doing this to you now even before if you ever are official, don't you think she will do the same things when you're together? Yes, she will, wh0res don't change, they just change partners. So, continue to bang her as long as you can, and find a girl who respects you enough to be in a relationship, and will not lead you on like this one is doing.

Anyone whose had a similar experience, please share your input.

 

[teddy240]

I am getting mixed emotions here. You say she disrespects you by being flirty, but then you come up with an excuse for her actions? Look, I know girls sometimes give out there numbers to be "nice" and then never answer, but holding everyones hands being super flirt is just not cool. And the dude offering her a ride home? You think he didnt get some of your sloppys after giving her a ride? Come on! She has you, that already showed that youd put up with her sh#t, now she is going to keep going and she if she can have another guy treat her like a princess.

 

[Delly2000]

I think ELMER got it spot on.

She knows what she is doing my brother. I dont think there is any way you can win this hand. You know why? Because you are too emotionally invested. To deal with this situation total distachment is needed. To the point where you could care less what she does or who she does it with. Thats what she deserves. But I think that time has passed.

I think she was saying all those emotional things just to get you emotionally invested in her. She knows she moving away and nothing can really happen so she is just having fun.

Ofcourse if you say something you are gonna come off as insecure and she is gonna throw the "we arent exclusive" or your being "jelaous and possesive" in ur face when she is clearly being disrepectful.

I cant say wether she is sleeping with the other guy or not. Holding hands does sound a little weird albeit. I can't seem to get a mental picture of the three of you together...ur the one she is banging and she is holding ur roomates hand. Don't u see the disconnect?

She was saying those things to get you emotionally invested in her.

 

[Johnnyventana]

The FB pic alone says it all: Classic AW! What normal chick has a photo like that? Also, your roommate is an a-hole. He should not be letting her hold his hand or telling you he could nail her (which I bet he could). There are so many red flags with this chick, seriously. Way, way too many deal breakers.

This is so not a cultural thing, unless she's from Wh0re-ville.

You're nailing, that is good. But that is all this is.

Run a search for AW, attention wh0re, etc.

 

[f283000]

My motto is use the sluts for f*** buddies, and find a high quality girl for your girlfriend, that is how it should be, and what you should do my friends.

Very good advice. Like the legendary Puerto Rican Lover said "You can't change a hor into a housewife."

Thanks for the input, f2383000. What tips do you have for becoming non-caring and indifferent?

It's an attitude you get when you have OTHER OPTIONS. Right now you don't sound like a guy that has other options since you are obsessing over a slut. But that's ok because you can make your own options.

I don't expect you to do this (as most guys don't too lazy) but the best and natural way of becoming indifferent with women is playing the game. Going out, talking to other women plus also keeping yourself occupied with other endeavors. Hit the gym, play sports, spend every little spare time you have doing something positive so that you have no spare time having an obsession over any woman.

When we got a lot of spare time (lonely time) on our hands we can't help but start thinking about the one chick that has given us the time of day. But if you instead go out into the streets and talk to other girls, start spinning plates plus work on other areas of your life then you will become indifferent to women BY NATURE. You will have plenty of options (women) you can hit up plus you are busy with other endeavors. You will find no time or no need to start thinking non-stop about any woman.