Where to begin?

[John McClane]

This is my first post here, I have read a lot of things here for a while now and there are people here that give good advice. I hope I can contribute something to this community later but I am currently looking for some advice myself

Basically I am in my late twenties now, and lately I am seriously contemplating with myself. I have lost the lust in life, in love and basically my self respect for several years now and it has reached the peak, or should I say bottom.

During the last 10+ years I have experienced a lot of downfalls in my life, faced a lot of situations that caused emotional stress. I am not gonna mention them all because the list would be huge and I don't want to bore you and we all have (had) our own problems. We learn from that and our mistakes every day. But even though I try to remain positive it's so hard when there's a lot of negativity in life.

The older I get the more I seem to lose the "competition". I have made a lot of bad choices where I had the ability to create something with my life get a very good education as I am quite intelligent, but I failed or just didn't care about it enough I guess. Now I work and get badly paid. I have no savings and a debt from the studies I never attended to. Because of that I am still living with my mother, who recently had a heart attack.
And I already have lost a lot of people, family and friends. Some people "dropped" me or worse, betrayed me and caused more pain. After a while I got to the point where I just decided to leave all the people around me that I couldn't trust and gossip, we're energy drainers or a waste of time and money. And because of that I have very few friends left. Not that I mind that very much, because I am never bored with myself.

(Un)fortunately it has come to the point where I am basically sick and tired of being sick and tired of everything. The road I am now following is leading to nowhere. It feels as if I am settled for revenge for everything everybody has done to me and my mother. It feels as if I have business to take care of. I want redemption and want to be very successful in various area's in my life and chase my dreams. And the money I make with it is secondary.. but I know it's important enough and that I want to make a lot of it so I can give myself and others that are important to me, a better future. Another reason I want to make a lot of money is because it's my way to give all the haters and everybody that screwed me, laughed at me or talked about me the middle finger.

Now my question to you. If you we're in the situation where you basically had nothing left to lose any more. Where would you begin?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Now my question to you. If you we're in the situation where you basically had nothing left to lose any more. Where would you begin?

You begin tomorrow. Plot a course, from where you are now..to where you want to go.

Don't let your dreams die, nor let anyone take them from you.

You've done well removing the folks that are toxic in your life. Continue that. You have a fresh slate now.

You have the whole world out there man...take action.

 

[Da Realist]

Been there honestly. Hell, I'm still fighting. The thing I did was decide not to sit in self pity, and from there everything else followed. I haven't made it to where I want to be yet, but I'm making my life instead of rolling over and letting it all be taken away.

You've done right in getting rid of the negative folks because they'll just drag you down.

The next thing to do is to work on a short term goal. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, but pursue it. I did something drastic that was bold and somewhat stupid but also gave me something to look forward to because at that point I had nothing to lose except my health and I was ready to throw my chips on the table and see what the outcome would be. All I have to say is don't be reckless, but be bold.

Third is to find something you like and do it. I've been reading more, going out, and just enjoying myself when I can. Do the same. Again, have a limit so you aren't just on some road to self-destruction.

Fourth thing to do is find a little spirituality. If you don't believe in anything, do what you do, but stop looking at the circumstances in life to give you peace and learn to find it within yourself.

The final thing is to realize that you don't have to take anything life gives you. Got a bad job? Scrape to find another. In debt? Find how you can either get around it or pay it off. The easiest slave to keep is the one who doesn't believe he has a choice, so know that you always have a choice in how you react to things in life.

 

[jophil28]

You begin tomorrow. Plot a course, from where you are now..to where you want to go.

Don't let your dreams die, nor let anyone take them from you.

You've done well removing the folks that are toxic in your life. Continue that. You have a fresh slate now.

You have the whole world out there man...take action.

Yes, begin tomorrow WITH A PLAN. Re-building takes time - it takes as long as it takes BUT you got to get moving.GEt off the couch ( and the pity pot)

Set some simple goals and go after them with whatever energy and self confidence remains within you.

Secondly, learn to trust people with some caution and an exit strategy if they scam you.

 

[Bible_Belt]

my way to give all the haters and everybody that screwed me, laughed at me or talked about me the middle finger.

If all those people died a painful death this very instant...you honestly would not feel any better. Don't dwell on negativity.

in the situation where you basically had nothing left to lose any more. Where would you begin?

What do you mean "nothing to lose any more?" I was born with nothing and then given nothing. Someday I might have something to lose, but I am not there yet. Maybe you are way ahead of me.

 

[Mr.Positive]

What do you mean "nothing to lose any more?" I was born with nothing and then given nothing. Someday I might have something to lose, but I am not there yet. Maybe you are way ahead of me.

This reminds me of a quote, author unknown...

"The only thing you are guaranteed at birth is death. You have a right to that. The rest is earned."

 

[squirrels]

Two questions to start with:

1) What is it you love doing?

2) What are you good at? Where are your "talents"?

 

[5string]

Think about this. My former stepson was in college in another city. He's smart and was having trouble in college for a number of reasons and his grades dropped. He called me and told me this and asked me what he should do. I thought about it a bit and then told him that I thought he needed a change of environment. When a person has a problem, they should either face it, ignore it, manage it or avoid it. I chose to advise my stepson to avoid it. He took my advice and moved to my city where he finished college and got his BA. His grades immediately improved by the way. So, why don't you think about possibly moving and getting a new start? I know you have your mother to think about but you should be able to work something out there. My former stepson by the way, now has a great job, a cute little wife and wonderful baby as well as many good friends. He's very happy now. Something to think about. Good luck.