Where is the actual wall?

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

I’m 54 in a few months. Get as much play as I want at any given time & never use OLD. I tried it once for a week and bailed on all the garbage there. What a time sink. So I continue as I always have to meet people live including my younger fiancé.

I was slender & athletic through university, was an officer in Greek life and was social but studied much more than I partied as I was pre med.

Went to 35th high school reunion on a whim in October. At least half a dozen people told me I looked better now than in high school. Actually I do in some ways. My fiancé went with me & people were telling him too. And I went to an affluent high school in a mild climate in Texas, so not where it’s cold half the year. People are fit there.

I agree VERY strongly that it is weight gain based before anything else. I avoid the sun, get enough sleep, am of Scandinavian decent & got lucky genetics. But I am also peri menopausal so I must be disciplined about diet particularly. My metabolism requires no more than 900-1000 calories per day, and sometimes that is too much.

Really the biggest challenge with my fiancé is that he’s a 46 year old athlete. He needs to eat. But I cannot eat the way he does. If I do I’ll gain weight. So often I’ll have a hot tea & keep him company.

My grandmother met & married her second husband in her early 60s. She was a strikingly beautiful woman all her life. She was full of life & outlived both her husbands, the second one was 8 years her junior, the same age difference that we have. She always was more youthful though. She just was.

So the wall is a cope, it’s relative & no wall if you got a bit lucky and keep yourself trim.

 

[Murk]

It's genetics, it's relative to each individual, much better to focus on your own life and what you can attract rather than theories and other people. Some women do look better at 30 than they did at 18, if you can fight off wrinkles, old hair and teeth (that skeleton in a straw wig look), you will do well into 40s a women. Especially if you go to the gym and have hips/thighs nice and toned with a fresh complexion and sparkle in your eye. Loose skin, fat and/or skeletal facial features are instant turn-offs. some women start looking like zombies or skeletons mid 20s.

 

[SW15]

Things have been made much easier for the 35+ woman since the advent of swipe apps and social media platforms.

I've been skeptical of The Wall many times in comments on this board, including some in this thread.

For the 35+ woman now, so long as she doesn't have children (a lot of 35-40 year old Millennials don't), she'll still draw a lot of attention on a swipe app or social media. Even single moms get fawned over on swipe apps and social media platforms. @Mike32ct gave the example of the early 50s overweight woman who gets many penis pics on swipe apps/social media, and chooses to have sex with the biggest penises.

In the pre-internet era, you could have made a case that there was a Wall for women around 30-35, but even then, it was a flimsy case. A 35 year old even then could find a man. She'd have to work a lot harder at it, including a lot of time at in-person events, but it could be done.

When you hear these 35-50 year old women complaining "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?", this is mostly a function of them having delusional standards. Most 35-50 year old women now have abundance and plenty of male options. Even the ones not on swipe apps. The ones who aren't on swipe apps are usually active on at least one social media platform and have DMs to choose from. If for some reason you can find a woman who is not active on either swipe apps or social media, she'll still have enough options.

It's more difficult if you're overweight or a single mom between 35-54, but even those women can find men, as evidenced by the example cited by @Mike32ct that I mention earlier in this thread.

The typical 35-40 year old woman still has more abundance that the typical 35-40 year old man.

 

[Who Dares Win]

In the current western market most women can still find a man as late as their 40s but none of them is a top dog and even if he is, he wont commit.

I dont believe in a single wall, I believe there are many soft walls that women strike step by step and the first one happen in their mid 20s when they lose their typical freshness from their late teens.

The second wall comes in their late 20s when they are no longer that youthful but such wall is nothing compared to the third one they face in their early to mid 30s which is the one that take away most of their value for top 20% men looking for real commitment and family.

By the time a woman is in her 40s, very few men would take a bullet for her including their current partners unless married with kids.

 

[VirtuousD]

Advice from the old lady:

I’m 54 in a few months. Get as much play as I want at any given time & never use OLD.

So the wall is a cope, it’s relative & no wall if you got a bit lucky and keep yourself trim.

I fundamentally agree with you that it is mostly cope (as mentioned in my previous post) but there is truth in the concept of men's options increasing with age provided they have their sh*t together since women desire strong stability/resources, to which most men under 30 don't have so much of.
You mentioned you get play but is it actual commitment and men wanting relationships with you? The wall isn't necessarily based on how much sex a woman can get, you could have takers for that right up to about 70 as we all know.

 

[BeExcellent]

I fundamentally agree with you that it is mostly cope (as mentioned in my previous post) but there is truth in the concept of men's options increasing with age provided they have their sh*t together since women desire strong stability/resources, to which most men under 30 don't have so much of.
You mentioned you get play but is it actual commitment and men wanting relationships with you? The wall isn't necessarily based on how much sex a woman can get, you could have takers for that right up to about 70 as we all know.

Let’s put it this way. I’m engaged to a 46 year old man who is very desirable. He loves telling the story of how we met & says all the time he waited 30 years to find a girl like me…he’s very happy in all aspects

And he put a 4.5tcw ring on it. So yeah. I do Ok. After I got engaged a retired pro hockey player I know called asking if I am *REALLY* getting married….multimillionaire good looking etc…I told him Yup. Very happy. He said he had always wanted a serious chance with me for long term & he was bummed out. So I dunno. You be the judge….