Where is my gf now? I dunno.

[loser-it]

Hi guys,

Ya, that is right. I don't know where my gf is now and now it is 11pm at night. Is that acceptable?

My main question is that is my gf supposed to let me know where she is at all time? I certainly think so. But what do you guys think?

I have been with this girl for more than 2 years. She still goes to college and this semester she seems to be very busy. A lot of times now it can go a whole day without her calling me at all. She wasn't used to be like this. She used to call me every day many times. Now she just disappers without a trace sometimes. I keep telling her I am NOT happy about it. I tell her that she needs to let me know where she is most of the time. Yes, I can call her but most of the time she doesn't pick up (cell phone always on slicece or left in the car or whatever).

Last weekend we talked about it again. Then for the last two days she called me telling me where she was going and stuff. Today, bam, gone again. No call no nothing. Even her sister at home called me asking me where she was. I said I dunno.

It has happened a lot and everytime she said cuz she was busy with school work cuz she is got a group presentation coming up and stuff so they needed to have meetings and stuff. Ya, I understand if she has to do her own stuff, but why can't she pick up the phone and call me and let me know if she is doing anything with her group or whatever??? I always tell her it will only take you 10 seconds just to call me to let me know where you are and I'll be fine with that. but she doesn't freaking do it now...well for a little while after we talked about it but then she starts to disappear without a trace again.

Am I being too uptight on her? Do I have the right and does she have the obligation to let me know where she is?

Thanks for you guys feedback.

 

[t00dumb]

if she wouldve been direct with where she was going and have her cell turned on at all times, there wouldn't be a problem in the first place. with all her excuses and sudden change of priority, the situation smells very fishy. it's the best way to hide things but not a smart way to not be noticeable. if i were you, i would find out what is exactly is going on because this situation is all too familiar. because well, i've been through that route and it gets suspicious everyday.

In another case, she could feel that ur controlling her every movement and she just wants to back off. my advice is to do the same thing to her and see how she likes you not picking up and giving vague ideas where you are going. play fire with fire but don't burn yourself

or take advice from the post below.

 

[Qualtran]

Dude, read the DJ Bible. You are being absolutely ridiculous if you are getting upset with your girlfriend for not calling every second. I can't believe she puts up with that at all. I dont care if you had been married to her for 50 fvcking years; getting upset for the reasons you are is a crime. She is going to break up with you, without question, and soon, if you keep up with this. Back off, let her do her thing. What you are saying is some of the pvssiest sh*t i've heard in a long time! Be a man!

 

[nw1512]

Stop being so needy.

By putting pressure on her to tell you where she is every minute of the day you only pushing her away even furhter.

Encourage her to do things without you. This will force you to have some confidence in yourself to be able to trust her.

You dont need to talk to each other every day.

Give her some space to breath, and have a life of your own indepentant of her.

If you want to loose her keep acting the way you are.

 

[loser-it]

Seems like most of you guys do not agree with knowing where your gf is most of the time? Wut about just for safety reason? Wouldn't you be worried why she hasn't been home at night and don't you think it's a very irresponsible thing for her to do?

 

[tmpgstx]

I wouldn't be needy .. but later in the evening (late evening), it doesn't look too good. Study groups don't take place at 11pm if you know what i mean. She could have good reason but seems is a bit frequent. You don't need to know where she's at every minute, but a call goodnight would be suffice.

 

[loser-it]

Play fire with fire...ya I have tried it. She doesn't like it at all but I ono..that didn't seem to help at all...it's liks a vicious cycle.

So what happeend? Did you find out what your gf (or ex) was doing?

Originally posted by t00dumb
if she wouldve been direct with where she was going and have her cell turned on at all times, there wouldn't be a problem in the first place. with all her excuses and sudden change of priority, the situation smells very fishy. it's the best way to hide things but not a smart way to not be noticeable. if i were you, i would find out what is exactly is going on because this situation is all too familiar. because well, i've been through that route and it gets suspicious everyday.

In another case, she could feel that ur controlling her every movement and she just wants to back off. my advice is to do the same thing to her and see how she likes you not picking up and giving vague ideas where you are going. play fire with fire but don't burn yourself

or take advice from the post below.

 

[Skullcrusher]

Who cares dude.

 

[Qualtran]

Dude, if your girlfriend is considering cheating on you or breaking up with you, every effort of yours to keep a closer watch will push her closer to actually doing so! Mellow the fvck out!!!

Safety is not what you are concened with and you know it, that is just a lame excuse. I would buy that if she said she was going for a midnight walk or a long drive and that she would call you to let you know she got back home safe, but you want her to call you to the point that you know her every move. Why dont you ask her if she will wear a tracking device?

Seriously, you need to stop worrying about what she is doing. The more you worry, the more she will feel suffocated and the sooner she is going to find a real man. You don't need to play these "play with fire" games, you just need to grow a pair!

 

[JonJack]

Why the hell do you need to know where she is? Most likely you want to keep tabs on her. Make sure she ain't doing anything you wouldn't agree with. Essentially trying to put her on a leash. Trying to find out where she is and what she's doing all the time and using that as a leash is a lame way of keeping a girl.

You afraid she'll run off? You afraid she's fooling around? Lose that fear bro.

 

[t00dumb]

Originally posted by loser-it
Play fire with fire...ya I have tried it. She doesn't like it at all but I ono..that didn't seem to help at all...it's liks a vicious cycle.

So what happeend? Did you find out what your gf (or ex) was doing?

well with my gf and i, it was more a less a different situation. as for instance, ever since i found this site, my ways around women has changed drastically, literally. new clothes, new attitude, women are flocking my way. life around women perceived differently now. but i can't go after woman because i already have 1. but i did get chances to flirt and really test my lvls as a dj,anyway my gf notices and kept asking me where i was what i was doing and i was giving vague answers becuase i didnt want her to find out why i was like this. but she felt the change and things went down here from there. i really did enjoy being the dj for a few months but i learn to realize my relationship with my gf is way too important than my manhood of chasing women (been with my gf over 5 years now) it's just something i wanted to experience before settling down. to answer ur question, if you feel a sudden swift of change or clarity on what's going on, trust your gut instinct, ur most likely right.

as with ur situation, she did the same to me, kept calling me and just saying that she wasnt happy and being controlled by her constantly. it made me felt that i don't deserve this sh(i)t, it only made me want to break up with her because i didn't like being possessed, more rebellious.

 

[loser-it]

Don't you guys even want to find out whether she is telling the truth or not (really having a group study or whatever as I still don't know where she went tonight)? I don't feel like being cheated on with knowing and I'd rather find out myself. It's better to find out if she is indeed something fishy sooner than later.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by loser-it
Don't you guys even want to find out whether she is telling the truth or not (really having a group study or whatever as I still don't know where she went tonight)? I don't feel like being cheated on with knowing and I'd rather find out myself. It's better to find out if she is indeed something fishy sooner than later.

This is exactly what stalker girls do. And I am puzzled as to why they even think that trying to find the answer will actually make things better.

Dude, if the ultimate goal here is to make it so that she doesn't cheat on you, then you should be doing things that'll make her not want to cheat on you. Putting a leash on her is one sure fire way of driving her to cheat. If safety is the concern, then get her some pepper spray or some personal alarm. Or hire a bodyguard. I'm sure she'll appreciate receiving those things more compared to receiving a leash.

If you so happen to stumble across her lying to you, let her know you know and leave it as that. Don't push it further. She'll be very afraid by the fact that you know the movements she makes behind your back. She'll also be wondering what the hell you're gonna be doing next. It'll eat her so much she's bound to want to make it up to you. That's if she doesn't think you're a lost cause loser first.

 

[Qualtran]

You should be confident in yourself and your relationship enough that you aren't worried that she is lying to you. She is sending you a perfectly clear signal tonight, and do you want me to interpret it for you verbatim?

Her:
"Loser-it, sweetie, you constantly wanting to know what I am doing and where I am and saying that I need to call you to keep you updated is pushing me away. It makes me resent you. I feel like you are trying to stop me from being able to live like I want to, and it makes me want to get revenge. I'm going to dump you and then see other guys if you dont respect me and let me live. Back off dear or its over and I'll think you are worth nothing forever."

 

[loser-it]

Well...I understand what you guys are saying...it's just that she used to call me and stuff voluntarily. I never had to ask her to it and now she is not doing it so that makes me feel her IL in me has dropped dramatically. That really upset me espeically after now I have agreed to help her out a lot financially and actally treat her better than b4. Just feel it's bit unfair that now I treat ther better but she treats me worse than b4.

 

[tmpgstx]

I don't think you're over-reacting .. you can sense what's going on. It always seems to happen this way when a girl meets someone else. Guys who have experienced this can tell you that this is a fingerprint and/or trademark sequence to the break-up.

How do you stop it? My best advice would be to do your best not to care. It sounds crude and you shouldn't have to, but then you have to ask yourself .. is this girl right for me?

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by loser-it
Well...I understand what you guys are saying...it's just that she used to call me and stuff voluntarily. I never had to ask her to it and now she is not doing it so that makes me feel her IL in me has dropped dramatically. That really upset me espeically after now I have agreed to help her out a lot financially and actally treat her better than b4. Just feel it's bit unfair that now I treat ther better but she treats me worse than b4.

If her IL has fallen but you still want to be with her, then you will have to be the one to do things to increase her IL. You can't expect her IL to remain constant throughout the entire relationship. Your IL in her can fluctuate too.

Another thing, if you help her out financially and treat her well and all, expecting her to 'repay' the favor in some way, you are going to be disappointed. Again, this is what stalker girls do. They start bringing up past history, mentioning all the things they've done, all the things you've promised. Not knowing that it is the now that they should be focusing on. Don't become a stalker dude.

 

[Rockadeimis]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
I don't think you're over-reacting .. you can sense what's going on. It always seems to happen this way when a girl meets someone else. Guys who have experienced this can tell you that this is a fingerprint and/or trademark sequence to the break-up.

How do you stop it? My best advice would be to do your best not to care. It sounds crude and you shouldn't have to, but then you have to ask yourself .. is this girl right for me?

Can I get an Amen? Experienced this myself...the handwriting might be on the wall my friend. Give her space and see what happens. If you have to move on, you'll survive, trust me.

 

[the_great_gaia]

the financial part

Hey, I was REALLY interested in hearing what you all have to say about him helping the girl FINANCIALLY, that part of this advice would be very beneficial to me as well. Thank You.

 

[duttylove]

You are being insecure matey boy. You shouldnt be caring where she is at all hours of the day, get on with your own life, get a hobby. As for her dissapearing cant you see the signs you self? shes doing this because shes either met some one else or looking!!

confronting a hor about her horish behaviour is a bad idea.