Where Do Players Hang Out?

dadmonson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2004
Messages
329
Reaction score
2
I'm not sure about following the advice on this forum because I don't know if you guys are making sh!t up or not.

However, I would love to hang out with some guys who are good at attracting people of the opposite sex from my area but I can't find any. I would love to learn from them.

I don't want to post where I live so I guess it is kind of idiotic for me to say this but anybody know who the "alphas" are in my neck of the woods? If you are one please let me know.

Perhaps this is a better question...how do you spot an "alpha" and get him to take you up under his wing? Is there a specific place where you would normally find an "alpha" male?
 

shyguy32

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 19, 2005
Messages
155
Reaction score
5
Age
51
If you don't say where you are, then you can't get any help. You can be a wingman for some of them and learn that way if you would post where you live.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,105
Reaction score
4,715
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
So some tall good looking guy who gets laid a lot is going to teach you to get laid more :confused: ?

It doesn't work that way. You can't teach good looking.

I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic but it's true. Trying to copy another guy rarely works.

Even here, we can provide guidance and help guys avoid common mistakes, but that's about it. You still have to find your own game that fits you and works for you.
 

J Roc

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
723
Reaction score
35
Location
Atlanta
dadmonson said:
I'm not sure about following the advice on this forum because I don't know if you guys are making sh!t up or not.

How about you try some the advice and see if it works for yourself...
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,107
Reaction score
5,740
Age
48
Location
midwestern cow field 40
I don't want to post where I live

So search the wingman forum and find someone who has posted where they live, and happens to be near you. Then PM them.
 

Serialized3

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2003
Messages
1,151
Reaction score
18
Location
CO
Honestly man, your best bet is a competitive amateur sports league or the gym. They tend to attract those high-T, square-jaw, muscular types with a lot of energy. A lot of those guys are naturals and clean up with the women. Make friends, join a new social circle, start going out and gaming girls with them.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

TillTheEndOfTime

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2004
Messages
1,933
Reaction score
59
The first step in being good with women is meeting them. You can't expect any technique or confidence to do you any good if you meet one girl a month. The truth is that no matter how good looking or suave you are, you're going to be rejected a lot to get any play.

So you need to keep active and keep the girls coming before you get a bite. Then and only then does anything you learned even become relevant.
 

Vice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
2,006
Reaction score
186
Find your favorite night spot and keep a eye out for any guys that you see on a regular basis with different women, and befriend him. It's not rocket science.

And do NOT meet up with any "lair" or "pickup" guys, they're almost always really f*cking weird. Dudes at the gym also tend to be really cool, as well as at sports places.
 

evansblue

Banned
Joined
Jul 18, 2011
Messages
222
Reaction score
59
I think what this really boils down to are two things: leaders and followers. Guys who are really good with women (speaking from personal experience) are lone wolves. Myself included. Believe it or not, there's not a lot of guys that are great with women. And I'm talking about outside the community. Just because a guy is good looking doesn't mean he's a player. That's one of the biggest misconceptions floating around the pickup community. Women can get by on looks, men can't. A good looking guy can be insecure, shy, introverted, have social anxiety, etc.

So the notion that guys who hang out in gyms get laid left and right is a fallacy. I mean, look at this forum. 90% of the advice around this place is what? Hit the gym. What kind of guys are hitting the gym? Guys that are bad with women. This forum is proof. Seems to me that's one of the last places you'd want to be in asking for advice. That's the blind leading the blind.

This is one of the main reasons I became good at sleeping with a lot of women: I didn't know any guys that were players. To be a player you have to be fiercely independent. And that's exactly the opposite of the behavior I saw from so many of my friends, acquaintances, co-workers, random other guys in the bar, etc. I don't even tell a lot of my friends about the women I sleep with, because they can't relate. They're not go-getters in regards to getting laid. They're perfectly content being in a relationship, or being alone. Not by choice, but because they're not independent. They're too worried about being ostracized by people and can't go out and explore for themselves. Every time the topic about women does come up, they try to "one-up" me about how being in a relationship is far superior and I have some psychological problem because I have sex with multiple different women on a regular basis. For the record, I have nothing against relationships. I'm all for them. My friends try to convince me that what I'm doing isn't healthy. We all know damn well they wish they were sleeping with as many women as I do. What is the difference here? They're followers. Taking charge, going out and talking to women, scheduling dates, meeting up for drinks, sarging solo, etc. is too much for them to handle. It's foreign territory. Them (and many other guys) don't have the armor, mental fortitude and can't deal with being rejected.

A lot of the talk around here is about not putting women on a pedestal. That same philosophy applies to other guys in assuming because they have muscle mass, money, or are popular that they're banging tons of chicks. This is completely false, it's negative and it's putting not only women, but other men on a pedestal as well, further killing your confidence. Even with myself, I've been rejected over and over and over and over again. I keep going because I'm not reliant, nor do I care about how somebody else (male or female) perceives me. I'm more concerned about what I want to do, and what makes me happy. In other words, my thoughts are not dictated through external factors, but rather internally with my own desires.

Don't compare yourself or think you need to rely on a certain group of people to become good with women. This is another form of pedestal thinking. The only person you have to rely on is yourself. If you're not sure on how to handle a certain situation with a girl, who should you ask? Yourself. Your opinion is just as good, if not better than somebody else's. But it's been ingrained into a lot of guys minds to over analyze, second guess, and ask somebody ELSE. And it's this thinking that's perpetuating the problem. It's increasing dependence on somebody else to fix your problems, and you end up becoming the middleman.

Sooner or later you're going to come to the realization that YOU control your destiny with women. You can be a follower if you want, and there's certainly security in that. But that comes at a hefty price. The decision's up to you.
 

floydb25

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
1,777
Reaction score
107
Location
NC
Mike32ct said:
So some tall good looking guy who gets laid a lot is going to teach you to get laid more :confused: ?

It doesn't work that way. You can't teach good looking.

I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic but it's true. Trying to copy another guy rarely works.

Even here, we can provide guidance and help guys avoid common mistakes, but that's about it. You still have to find your own game that fits you and works for you.
This. Lots of this. When I was young, fat, unattractive, etc, I couldnt get ****, and was always surrounded by gorgeous women. Why? Because all of my friends were pretty boys. They got all of the women. I had no experience, no knowledge, no game, no self esteem, no social skills, no life, no nothing. I was about18 at the time, just moved out of my mom's house.

Flash forward a few years, and everything started changing. Nobody helped me, and they really couldnt. I just started exercising, losing weight, socializing, getting involved in activities, buying nice clothes, taking care of my appearance - and there it was. Friends were made, women were wanting sex, respect was given, etc. And it just became natural from there. Nobody taught me ****, and I dont know if it can be taught. Its just something that happens as a result of these things you do. You cant make a woman attracted by watching someone else - you have to become someone else through your own. If that makes sense. The better, more evolved you. You have to attract women, and have these experiences. To that end, you also have to be a leader, posses good social skills, etc.

One thing that blew me, and the girls I knew from before, away was, there was a pretty boy underneath that young, nerdy, messy, unhygeinetic (yeah, thats probably not a word), unattractive fatass all along. Never in a million years did I ever think I'd have what those friends of old did. ****, I still viewed myself as that unattractive person for years to come. You might be suprised by how good looking and sociable and interesting you are once you eliminate the shyness, fear, and take care of yourself. Then you will get women, and know what its all about.

It has to be natural; they have to like you. Once that happens, you also realize its not a big deal - just another walk of life. And that a lot of the crazy ranting that goes on here holds no bearing on reality. I think most of that comes from failure and rejection, which leads to bitterness and generalizing. If they were successful, attractive, had LIVES, and were in the zone, so to speak - they wouldnt be crying and calling women negative things all the time. But of course, some ARE *****es and *****s. Not nearly as bad as they make them out to be, though. A lot of times, theyre simply not that interested.

But then you also have the nature of the site, and most of its ilk. For meeting and attracting women. So youre probably going to end up with more failures and learners than non.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
2,041
Reaction score
499
This is weird... I feel dirty posting here... at least I brought a girl... stay close to me Jenny I don't want any of these guys getting the wrong idea... act like my GF please...
 
Top