When your best buddy is a very attractive guy

[AMF]

My best friend looks like a cross between David Beckham and Brad Pitt.

I consider myself a good looking chap, and he genuinely believes we're equally attractive, but in reality it doesnt work out like that at all.

He knows alot more people than me. Whats more, hes a natural, smooth player with a genuine confidence and and happiness that shines out of him. When you watch him in action, youre almost in awe. Every trick in the book comes NATURALLY to him. He doenst think or care about any mind games or "skills". Hes NEVER short of something interesting to say, and he makes every girl he talks to feel SPECIAL.

The guys' got it all. Obviously, women LOVE him.

Thing is, he is my boy, and I love him to bits. But when our group go out, its really hard to love him. Were all considered good looking chaps, and weve all got some game. Thats why its so hard to be second best. It's like being a millionaire when your best buddy has 5.

It's sad but true, we've got to the point where we've nearly given up on goin out with this guy, and i guess it has kinda come between us as buddies.

Any of you relate to this? Stories?

Happy hunting.

 

[mahon83050]

Are you from the UK?

 

[AMF]

Yep

 

[Julian]

I think its lame you dont hang out with your "best buddy" just because he out shines you.

 

[AMF]

No, julian, no. I do hang out with my boy. its just not good for my game, meaning with him around, the stuff on this site is useless!

Just thought anyone else might have shared a similar experience. After all, this is a site for PICKING UP WOMEN not HANGING WITH YOUR BUDDIES.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I'll say their chap...why don't you just take his throw aways and left overs from his plate...no harm in that.

I can understand how you feel....at first it sounded like you were in love with your buddy but now I see your point. but if you use him to get the attention of all the hot chicks...he can only take one from the pile...hehehe

 

[stevek1977]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
I'll say their chap...why don't you just take his throw aways and left overs from his plate...no harm in that.

agreed! nothing wrong with pulling the friends home. actually makes your life a lot easier. and if your buddy is workin on a good lookin woman who has busted friends, then you are free to go use your own techniques on the other women at the establishment.

 

[NewMan]

Dude,

The reality of it all is, there's always one guy in the group thats better at something - there's always a guy thats better looking, or funnier, or more confident.

But, do you know what your problem is? It's not your buddy, it's you.

Your the problem. Your lack of self confidence. If you had confidence in yourself, you'd do just fine.

I have a similar situation - my friend isn't better looking than me, he's just got more confidence when talking to women - he's married, so I'm sure that helps alot (he does not care) - but when we got out he's the man who will go up to a grpoup of girls and start talking with them.

My point is, use your friend to your advantage. He's good looking so when he approaches women, they will have friends right? You've got an opporunity then to hit on her friends.....

Don't look at the world with the glass is half empty approach - it's half full.

 

[Saine]

Originally posted by AMF
No, julian, no. I do hang out with my boy. its just not good for my game, meaning with him around, the stuff on this site is useless!

Sounds exactly like someone whom I once chilled with. A real trustworthy and "could-take-bullet-for" buddy.

I'd say stick with him no matter what but when you're alone, do the book because with him, you just hang out. I know how it feels, it's practically impossible to outshine him.

Follow the Law of Powers, don't outshine him for now, your friendship may break especially if you're both best friends. At least I believe the strongest link in the chain is the weakest.

 

[Zephyrus]

I think I could fall for your buddy! Just kidding.... yeah anyway. So you have a good looking buddy, why don't you USE that to your advantage, like the player said: He can't take them all home.

Yes i've had a similar situation, and i used to hate it. You're buddy is a great looking guy, all the chics want him. You're the other guy. Either you can use him to get the girls around or you can be pissed and ruin your friendship because you think your buddy is too cute.

I think you KNOW what to do.


I hope that helps
Zephyrus

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by NewMan
Dude,

The reality of it all is, there's always one guy in the group thats better at something - there's always a guy thats better looking, or funnier, or more confident.

But, do you know what your problem is? It's not your buddy, it's you.

Your the problem. Your lack of self confidence. If you had confidence in yourself, you'd do just fine.

I have a similar situation - my friend isn't better looking than me, he's just got more confidence when talking to women - he's married, so I'm sure that helps alot (he does not care) - but when we got out he's the man who will go up to a grpoup of girls and start talking with them.

My point is, use your friend to your advantage. He's good looking so when he approaches women, they will have friends right? You've got an opporunity then to hit on her friends.....

Don't look at the world with the glass is half empty approach - it's half full.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[Intense]

It is interesting you bring this up because I was discussing the "attractiveness of your friends" factor the other day with a buddy of mine.

Here's the thing man, would you rather be hanging out with an ugly guy who the girls want no part of or an attractive guy that attracts all the HB's???

That's a hop, skip, and a jump away from being a rhetorical question.

From personal experience I have learned that hanging out with more attractive friends helps my social proof. Pretend your at a bar and you look over and there are two separate groups of two girls talking to each other. The first group is:

1. A flaming hot HB9 talking to her HB7 friend.
or
2. An HB 7 talking with her above average looking HB 6.5 friend.

A group of confident men, such as you and your friend, would probably be more attracted and more likely to approach group 1. A non-confident guy would more likely approach group two, however, because he sees the women in group 2 as an easier target due to a possibility of many factors. For example, a guy may see group two as having less social proof which could give him more confidence that "I am better than them." There's many more ways you can think of this but what I'm trying to say is that regardless of who you choose to hit on, you would still probably be more attracted to group 1.

I'm also saying that this works when the roles are reversed.

Furthermore, I'd say that an HB6.5 would subconciously look better to me if she was talking to an HB9 than an equally looking HB6.5 talking to an HB7 or a "whale that lives out of the water" HB3. AKA, you look better to other chics if you are with your hott friend than your ugly friend. If I could pinpoint them I would, but there is a variety of factors that I believe makes a less attractive person look more attractive in another peron's eyes if they are hanging out with attractive instead of non-attractive people. A start to these factors would be increased social proof and the assumption of being a more confident person by an on looker (a chic eye balling you).

The bottom line is, definitely keep hanging out with your friend! He is a tool that you could use to your advantage and somebody that I probably wouldn't mind having as a wingman.

 

[AMF]

All your replies hit home, props to you all.

Originally posted by Zephyrus:
Yes i've had a similar situation, and i used to hate it. You're buddy is a great looking guy, all the chics want him. You're the other guy. Either you can use him to get the girls around or you can be pissed and ruin your friendship because you think your buddy is too cute.

Youve described how it feels perfectly, Zephyrus. Even though Im above average in every department, i will always be the OTHER guy. But I take your point. I do know what to do.

Intense man, I think youve realised something! A new element to our game...

What you say is so good, that I'm ashamed that Ive never thought of it that way before. Its true guys:

Social Proof works even better with your buddies.

Read his post again, I think we should all include this in our game.

Newman: yes, yes, yes. The problem is with me, its my lack of confidence thats the REAL problem.

Saine: Youre right. Thats the bottom line. Hes my best buddy.

Happy hunting.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

One of my best "take a bullet for" friends is very good looking. I mean I get absolutely no play around him, he doesn't have to approach, the hotties approach and swoon over him.

His girl is a Hooters calendar girl, and while we are eating at her hooters one day one of the other hooter girls was hitting on my friend. We all laughed at what drama this would cause with his girlfriend and the hooter girl hitting on him.

His girl informed the other one about him not being available. And then my friend says I should try and get her number. I'm like, "Fvck that, why would I want a girl that is on your nuts?"

But I guess thinking back its my own insecurities. Maybe next time I'll just go for it anyway and see what happens.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Saine]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery
One of my best "take a bullet for" friends is very good looking. I mean I get absolutely no play around him, he doesn't have to approach, the hotties approach and swoon over him.

His girl is a Hooters calendar girl, and while we are eating at her hooters one day one of the other hooter girls was hitting on my friend. We all laughed at what drama this would cause with his girlfriend and the hooter girl hitting on him.

His girl informed the other one about him not being available. And then my friend says I should try and get her number. I'm like, "Fvck that, why would I want a girl that is on your nuts?"

But I guess thinking back its my own insecurities. Maybe next time I'll just go for it anyway and see what happens.

Mr. Mystery

Hehe good luck. It happened to me many time. I prefer doing everything alone.

 

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by AMF
My best friend looks like a cross between David Beckham and Brad Pitt.

I consider myself a good looking chap, and he genuinely believes we're equally attractive, but in reality it doesnt work out like that at all.

He knows alot more people than me. Whats more, hes a natural, smooth player with a genuine confidence and and happiness that shines out of him. When you watch him in action, youre almost in awe. Every trick in the book comes NATURALLY to him. He doenst think or care about any mind games or "skills". Hes NEVER short of something interesting to say, and he makes every girl he talks to feel SPECIAL.

The guys' got it all. Obviously, women LOVE him.

Thing is, he is my boy, and I love him to bits. But when our group go out, its really hard to love him. Were all considered good looking chaps, and weve all got some game. Thats why its so hard to be second best. It's like being a millionaire when your best buddy has 5.

It's sad but true, we've got to the point where we've nearly given up on goin out with this guy, and i guess it has kinda come between us as buddies.

Any of you relate to this? Stories?

Happy hunting.

Young chap,

If your buddy is a player who radiates game, instead of being jealous (an oh-so unattractive trait), try to pick up from him. It was really influential in my "development" to hang around players who got girls like crazy. So he's better looking, in the end, I know so many pretty boys with zero game (I used to be one). The reason he has game is because he is a player (natural... whatever, the game is learned, not innate). If you want to equal his game, you need to start learning from him. And besides, don't let jealousy get in the way of your friendship, he seems like a valuable friend and I'm sure he could hook you up with some cute girls.

Cheerios

 

[es_mer8]

I was told by some of my friends that at parties, I am the most attractive one and as a result, I get the lion's share of the ladies. All I got to say is that you never c0ckblock your more attractive friends. The people that do this to me are lucky I'm a laid back guy or else I'd honestly beat the sh1t out of him. Ugly people like to undermine the attractive because of their insecurities.

Anyway, just pick up from the scraps. This is one of the times where I think social proof works for you. See, if you are with this apparent Adonis, you must be good enough for him so you are probably a good catch as well. So you go to the girls he doesn't want. Yes, the girls may be on his nuts. No, its not ideal but its still worth doing.

 

[becker]

I think it's a disadvantage for sure being around guys better looking than you, especially if you are not adept at talking. You need to be charming enough to overcome his good looks if you're getting no response from women.

The other thing is, girls seem to have an easier time talking to guys they aren't attracted to, just like guys can smooth talk all the ugly girls pretty easily while struggling around a girl they like. I believe this is one thing that many guys and gals will have in common, at least I'm hoping they do. I'd be surprised if they didn't.

 

[AMF]

es_mer 8, I aint no ugly dude who tries to bring the attractive down, infact I know what u mean coz it happens to me too.

Saine, I have been thinking the same as you. I simply have more confidence with women when Im flying solo, and esp. without this adonis on my wing!

Mr Mystery.... EXACTLY. If a chicks approached our buddy, and not us, why would we want her?

I KNOW I'm too good to accept scraps and leftovers, which is what some of you are suggesting here. Everyone, including girls, tells me Ive got everything going for me.

However, what you guys need to understand, is that the worst thing is to be JUST less attractive or JUST less confident than your buddy. I imagine an ugly dude can accept he is just the wingman, so he doesnt have the same pressure.

Originally posted by Becker:
I think it's a disadvantage for sure being around guys better looking than you, especially if you are not adept at talking. You need to be charming enough to overcome his good looks if you're getting no response from women.

I think thats the bottom line, Becker.

 

[CLOONEY]

Man I never really thought of this. I have been called many names like a cross between David Beckem and Ricky Martin. However I have never really thought what it must be like for some of my buddies. However my boys sound sorta like yours, most of them are VERY good looking also and get their fair share of quality woman. Sometimes they even get woman who I like also, because they have a different look than me, one is Latino, one is Italian and one is a ripped and huge Asian. Each one of them has their own game, qualities and DIFFERENT IMAGINE. This is the point that needs to be stressed the most DIFFERENT IMAGE, u have to create your own look. Dont just look like him or whatever, if he has short hair, grown some funky long hair. Wear crazy out their funky sh*t. Some girls will dig it, and some will still go for him, either way different girls are usually attracted to different guys, so if you are good looking yourself you should have no trouble NOT taking the "scraps" and "leftovers" ahaaha, funny to refer to woman as that, since each one is unique and individual but I suppose some guys do see the ugly ones as scraps and leftovers.

Hope this mumbo jumbo I just wrote helps u mate.

By the way, just out of interest, what is your friends name?