When you suspect she's cheating on you...

[Willie Naylor]

A friend of mine just reminded me that, sometimes the Red Pill can make you see ghosts when in a LTR. I've been cheated on in the past, so maybe this is just a little of my own insecurity popping up.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

First time around I forgave my ex wife, nothing physical happened with the other guy, but it was inappropriate. Second time around, I divorced her. Fool me once.... I was over my marriage at that point anyways.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Even if it doesn’t start off physical it almost always gets there eventually
Family man I wish you luck brother , I’m not sure if you are seeing ghost or not . But the gut feeling is usually onto something

 

[metalwater]

is this a theory question or a situation that is happening?

if it's a real situation, what are the reasons you see that make you worry?

 

[bmp2cpm]

Women cannot simultaneously view you as an Alpha and someone who is her committed boyfriend. These are 2 separate roles. You have to choose whether you want to be her Lover or her Provider. You can't be both. Lovers don't commit.

Pan87, life is not all black and white. There are always shades of gray.

Women want to be led by their man. Commitment does not make a man less of a leader.

There have been and will be married couples that stay faithful to each other for the whole marriage.

Myself, I use biology, psychology, and religion (which is rare these days) everyday to keep my marriage going.

What you focus on is what you get in life.

If a man wants a woman with a low-partner count to be faithful to him for life it is possible.

If a man wants short time periods with high-partner count women, he can do that do.

My advice to OP, once the emotional connection in the relationship is over, nothing can bring it back.

She is cheating, eject from the relationship. Learn and move on.

 

[mjb3617]

Even if it doesn’t start off physical it almost always gets there eventually
Family man I wish you luck brother , I’m not sure if you are seeing ghost or not . But the gut feeling is usually onto something

That gut feeling is your best friend. Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it is.

Hope everything works out for you OP. Good luck.

 

[Barrister]

There's a difference between insecurity and vigilance. If you're seeing redflags then you're not paranoid.

The fact that you're in an LTR with her is already a red flag (to her). She sees you as Beta Provider. She's not getting the Alpha Fux side of the equation (or is she?).

Women cannot simultaneously view you as an Alpha and someone who is her committed boyfriend. These are 2 separate roles. You have to choose whether you want to be her Lover or her Provider. You can't be both. Lovers don't commit.

This is a mindset that is common on SS that every man in a LTR is beta or is viewed by women as being beta. It simply isn't true. You can certainly be "alpha" and be seen as an alpha by the woman you're in a relationship with. Can that way of her looking at you get difficult to maintain over the course of time? Of course. Many men get lazy, let themselves go, and get complacent, which makes the woman see them differently. But to suggest that the instant you offer some type of exclusivity to a woman she suddenly sees this as a red flag and sees you as "beta" is just kind of silly. There is a reason she wants that with you in the first place - and it isn't because she thinks the guy is some pushover.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

This is a mindset that is common on SS that every man in a LTR is beta or is viewed by women as being beta. It simply isn't true. You can certainly be "alpha" and be seen as an alpha by the woman you're in a relationship with. Can that way of her looking at you get difficult to maintain over the course of time? Of course. Many men get lazy, let themselves go, and get complacent, which makes the woman see them differently. But to suggest that the instant you offer some type of exclusivity to a woman she suddenly sees this as a red flag and sees you as "beta" is just kind of silly. There is a reason she wants that with you in the first place - and it isn't because she thinks the guy is some pushover.

it’s all about leverage , or lack thereof
Women are too smart for their own good, they know that if you commit to them , it’s a good chance it’s because you wanna lock down her pvssy. And that comes from having no pvssy
Most of the time ,not always .

Do you think Chad and Tyrone throw themselves in the first relationship that presents itself?
When pvssy isn’t hard to come by , you’re less likely to commit or get into a relationship, it makes no sense . Anybody man or woman , if they have options they will most Likely explore them.

this is a broad generalization and it’s not always true .
some women are in a beta provider stage and
That could mean providing attention, validation,money ,security ,protection or all the above
It really all depends on the woman, her maturity level ,background, family upbringing ,etc.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

My advice to OP, once the emotional connection in the relationship is over, nothing can bring it back.

She is cheating, eject from the relationship. Learn and move on.

This right here is pretty accurate I would
say

It’s the Decline of emotional connection,which is most important if you want a long lasting LTR.

 

[Barrister]

it’s all about leverage , or lack thereof
Women are too smart for their own good, they know that if you commit to them , it’s a good chance it’s because you wanna lock down her pvssy. And that comes from having no pvssy
Most of the time ,not always .

Do you think Chad and Tyrone throw themselves in the first relationship that presents itself?
When pvssy isn’t hard to come by , you’re less likely to commit or get into a relationship, it makes no sense . Anybody man or woman , if they have options they will most Likely explore them.

this is a broad generalization and it’s not always true .
some women are in a beta provider stage and
That could mean providing attention, validation,money ,security ,protection or all the above
It really all depends on the woman, her maturity level ,background, family upbringing ,etc.

I don't know what "Chad" or "Tyrone" would do -- nor do I really care. Part of what you say is correct -- of course if you ask a woman to be exclusive or she asks you to be exclusive then you are essentially agreeing to "lock each other down" as you describe. Some people desire something a little more than rotating 3-4 plates nonstop. That can be fun for awhile, but I have found it gets exhausting to deal with.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I don't know what "Chad" or "Tyrone" would do -- nor do I really care. Part of what you say is correct -- of course if you ask a woman to be exclusive or she asks you to be exclusive then you are essentially agreeing to "lock each other down" as you describe. Some people desire something a little more than rotating 3-4 plates nonstop. That can be fun for awhile, but I have found it gets exhausting to deal with.

It gets exhausting because you are a man so you’re gonna work harder
You think 3-4 new guys per week is gonna be exhausting to a hot 23 yr in her prime ? And she has to do little to no work?
what initiative does she have to devote her body to you and only you sexually? 3-4 girls per week is annoying even to a high value man because we know that at some point she’s going to ****-test us .
men don’t **** test women , that doesn’t even sound masculine
But women in fact do **** test men all the time.

 

[Barrister]

It gets exhausting because you are a man so you’re gonna work harder
You think 3-4 new guys per week is gonna be exhausting to a hot 23 yr in her prime ? And she has to do little to no work?
what initiative does she have to devote her body to you and only you sexually? 3-4 girls per week is annoying even to a high value man because we know that at some point she’s going to ****-test us .
men don’t **** test women , that doesn’t even sound masculine
But women in fact do **** test men all the time.

It gets exhausting from the standpoint that it is a lot of time and running around. And if I am in plate spinning mode, I never assume that a woman is only "devoting her body to me" unless there has been a specific discussion to that effect.

Here is where I will disagree with you - and this has taken me a number of years to realize - high interest women do not sh1t test. Even if you think they are sh1t testing, it almost never is. It took experience with women as well as having discussions with a few posters here at SS for me to finally realize this. And I have been a lot better off realizing it.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I never heard of lil Wayne complain about how much “time and running around” it took
When he flew overseas in his private Jet to fvck on foreign girls
That “time and running around “ myth has to quit
. The truth is , if you’re spending time and running around and not hitting, that’s the real problem ,a sexually select man doesn’t care about that it’s not his problem


A high interest women won’t test, as long as you keep her high interest. But eventually they always test, I don’t care how good you think you are

it’s easy to be tough when you have access to her pvssy , she needs to see how you’re going to react if she takes it away.
She needs to see if you’re really bout that life or if it’s just reputation with nothing behind it.

 

[indiff]

If you begin to suspect that most likely she’s cheating. It’s your gut telling you that something’s wrong. I have experienced this before and I just walked the **** away because it’s not worth the effort. That time and emotions is better invested elsewhere.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Here is where I will disagree with you - and this has taken me a number of years to realize - high interest women do not sh1t test. Even if you think they are sh1t testing, it almost never is. It took experience with women as well as having discussions with a few posters here at SS for me to finally realize this. And I have been a lot better off realizing it.

I agree with this. Some people here think that "sh!t testing" is some kind of trial by fire...and that they have to prove themselves worthy to women by successfully "passing" sh!t tests. In reality, sh!t testing is a form of disrespect. She is playing with you, like you are a dog or a child. Women don't do that to men that they are attracted to. Next time a woman sh!t tests you, think what you would do if a male friend tried to sh!t test you and respond accordingly.

 

[Velasco]

Next time a woman sh!t tests you, think what you would do if a male friend tried to sh!t test you and respond accordingly.

Guys sh1t test each other all the time. It's called busting your balls.

 

[Willie Naylor]

Correct. Men only get into LTR's for one reason - scarcity. And women instinctively know it. Women want the challenge of trying to tie a high-value-man down, but they don't want to win. For women, it's all about the challenge. Once you LTR her then you just destroyed a huge amount of sexual tension.

Okay, but what do you do when the chick starts to get tired of you not committing? You know, she's dropped hints, she's asked for it several times, and maybe she even gives you an ultimatum....

"Family Man, I really care about you, but I can't wait around forever. I want a commitment. If you can't give it to me, I'm leaving."

What to do?

 

[Bokanovsky]

Guys sh1t test each other all the time. It's called busting your balls.

Nah, that's different. You are talking about verbal jokes. I do that with women too (and vice versa) and it's no big deal, as long as it's in good fun. Sh!t testing is when she creates an uncomfortable situation to gauge your reaction. For example, she tries to make you jealous by being overly friendly with a male waiter.

 

[Barrister]

I never heard of lil Wayne complain about how much “time and running around” it took
When he flew overseas in his private Jet to fvck on foreign girls
That “time and running around “ myth has to quit
. The truth is , if you’re spending time and running around and not hitting, that’s the real problem ,a sexually select man doesn’t care about that it’s not his problem


A high interest women won’t test, as long as you keep her high interest. But eventually they always test, I don’t care how good you think you are

First, it isn’t a myth at all - regardless of your Lil Wayne example which has nothing to do with a regular person. Spinning more than 2 plates is a lot of time commitment. Throw in a job that demands 50-60 hours a week plus family commitment and that’s gets very difficult. That’s just a fact regardless of what you believe. I’ve done it before and can say it took away from other parts of my life to an extent that it wasn’t worth it IMO.

Second, you’re conflating a woman simply losing interest with sh1t testing. Women in LTRs, for instance, get bored and/or lose respect for the man for a variety of reasons and begin checking out. That isn’t sh1t testing. It’s just them laying the groundwork to exit. Sh1t testing basically happens with medium and low interest women in early stage dating and that’s about it.

 

[Barrister]

Correct. Men only get into LTR's for one reason - scarcity. And women instinctively know it. Women want the challenge of trying to tie a high-value-man down, but they don't want to win. For women, it's all about the challenge. Once you LTR her then you just destroyed a huge amount of sexual tension.

Out of curiosity, how many LTRs have you been in in your life? I’m guessing a grand total of zero to maybe one. Probably a bad experience occurred for you that makes you make blanket statements about them.

Regardless, I agree with part of what you say in that sexual tension definitely goes down once an LTR occurs. But to say men only get in them due to scarcity is wrong. Do you really believe that?