When you no longer react

[Knight's Cross]

Long story short:
Plate asked me to go with her to a Black tie Gala last night. She had spent the week finding the perfect dress, the right shoes..you know they live for this sh$t. Anyway I was out of town till friday night, and after landing back in town got in touch to plan what time to get her saturday. She was staying at a loft in the city. So pick her up, go to gala. We both looked great, and at first things are moving along well. She proceeds to have about 3+ glasses of wine. She's about 5' 3" and the wine goes straight to her head. Basically, she was acting loud/ borderline obnoxious. I didn't indulge since I was driving.
Head out, back to her place. She's gotten us a movie. We change clothes, drop in on the couch, wherupon she begins asking questions while the movie is playing....I HATE THAT. Then after another glass of wine...she's sound asleep. Approx 1 hour to the end of the film. I watched the ending. Then woke her, and got ready to leave. At which time she becomes a pouty little girl wanting me to stay. I told her I had to get up early, and gave her a kiss goodnight and out the door.

Here's the kicker....Her loft is on the second floor of a building downtown in my city. It's 12, so there are still plenty of people on the street. She opens the window, sticks her head out and yells,"JERK". Now most days I would have salvoed right back, but last night I just grinned and kept walking forward. She has shown her hand and is now off the team. Simple really. Had she not acted like a little child all night....mighta been different. SO the calls and texts started right after that....asking me if I was mad. Nope, not mad at all. I now know what she's like when she doesn't get her way.

Walk away has been discussed here on SS ad nauseum. This one's easy. Don't even think about it. When they disrespect you, walk and don't look back.

KC

 

[Interceptor]

KC, it's great to see good guys make progress.

Good for you.
I hope more men out there start transcending the BS, and allow these people just do what they're gonna do...

....just not in their presence anymore.

 

[KontrollerX]

Way to go man.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear KC,
Inspirational....Great,only done this a couple of times but should you get it back on again,you will find a big change in her attitude...

 

[Knight's Cross]

Scaramouche,

The point is: There won't be a next time. She's done. Why put up with that crap? That's the idea behind plate theory. I'm hunting with a 12 gauge, not a Sniper Rifle.

KC

 

[jophil28]

Walk away has been discussed here on SS ad nauseum. This one's easy. Don't even think about it. When they disrespect you, walk and don't look back.

KC

Good job KC.
I dated a 19 year old last night who acted WAY better that your date.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Yes and Yes Bucket,
The movie was 21 with Kevin Spacey, as I said, with an hour to go she passed out on the couch. In her loft she has a 60" plasma, so I was enjoying the film. I watched the end, then got up to leave. Yeah, she wanted to mess around, but the drunken obnoxious state she was in was a total turnoff.
Being inebriated was no excuse to act like a jacka$$.
KC

 

[jophil28]

Yes and Yes Bucket,
The movie was 21 with Kevin Spacey, as I said, with an hour to go she passed out on the couch. In her loft she has a 60" plasma, so I was enjoying the film. I watched the end, then got up to leave. Yeah, she wanted to mess around, but the drunken obnoxious state she was in was a total turnoff.
Being inebriated was no excuse to act like a jacka$$.
KC

Ah - Respect trumps Pvssy.
Another proud moment on SS when it all comes together in a real life story.

 

[jophil28]

.. but the drunken obnoxious state she was in was a total turnoff.
Being inebriated was no excuse to act like a jacka$$.

KC

A lot of the women I know do not need any excuse.
Being 'Stupid' just flows.

 

[SharpGame]

I understand not reacting to women and demanding respect, but I have a question. I'm not saying OP did anything wrong, but reading this made me wonder where the line should be drawn. Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

I'm not making any assumptions about anyone here, just putting the question out there.

 

[hithard]

I understand not reacting to women and demanding respect, but I have a question. I'm not saying OP did anything wrong, but reading this made me wonder where the line should be drawn. Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

I'm not making any assumptions about anyone here, just putting the question out there.

To the point where it touches your moral or respect boundaries. Also depends on your ultimate outcome for spinning plates. And what you can emotionally handle. If it’s purely as many FB as you can muster then I would have thrown this one on the backburner for a while. LTR searching then the OP got it spot on. Different guys have different views, it all depends what you want. It also depends on how emotionally involved you are in a good/bad plate.

 

[mrRuckus]

I understand not reacting to women and demanding respect, but I have a question. I'm not saying OP did anything wrong, but reading this made me wonder where the line should be drawn. Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

I'm not making any assumptions about anyone here, just putting the question out there.

I have the same dilemma.

I really just don't know.

If your lines of respect are too strict then you'll just spend your life dumping girls. I know I occasionally do or say some dumb sh1t i didn't really mean to do, and would hate to be thought bad of because of a momentary lapse in judgement or just didn't realize something I was saying/doing was being disrespectful.

But if you aren't strict about your lines and give them a second shot at things, they'll just keep doing things as they do thinking you'll overlook it and when you complained about it all you were doing was a big chest puffing show and weren't seriously going to squish her into the ground if she fvcks up again.

It's really all just a pile of crap and i think you just have to luck into a girl who came out of the box pretty much perfect because her parents trained her properly. Most "rules" we have shouldn't even be rules because they should just KNOW that you don't do certain crap. "Setting her straight" just seems stupid to me because just because someone will let you get away with something doesn't mean you should do it. I can get away with all sorts of crap with girls and i don't because it would be wrong. No girl had to draw out lines for me.

 

[STR8UP]

One of the most liberating days of my life was the day I realized that ignoring a situation (a woman) has the ability to drain her power over you and completely flip the script.

 

[Mr. Me]

Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

Opening a window, sticking your head out of it and publicly yelling "JERK!" in a very serious way does show how she handles her anger. All that's rather intentional and not a lapse in judgment (although it's not GOOD judgment). That's her. And it's most probably the tip of the iceberg too.

If a gal does something that may be a lapse of judgment, perhaps you're not sure if it is or not, it's a shade or two of gray, maybe it's a one time thing... you can always pull back some and put her on probation and see. Just don't find yourself making up excuses for her behavior as rationalizations for you to believe in. BELIEVE her behavior.

And gals get away with this kind of behavior from most men, who'll take abuse just to be with these women, which is why they engage in this behavior again and again without fearing any consequences.

Since it doesn't pay to argue with women, KC's refusal to acknowledge her send-off sent a far stronger message to her then if he had engaged with her. Drives them nuts if you don't participate in their show.

See how she reacted when she saw there was a consequence? Contacting him to find out if he's angry at her. She's trying to asses the damage and find a way back... but most probably so she can suck him back in and thus know that she's in control, in order to drop him and have the last word.

 

[DJDamage]

Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

It depends on your own boundries and what are you willing to tolerate.

The biggest issue normally comes down to the girl herself. Even the best women make mistakes here and there but they are small and far apart in between that they don't really reflect their true personality.

Then there are the drama queen girls who always seem to make mistakes or piss you off for no reason and if you don't let them know stright from the begining that you don't tolerate this kind of behaviour and their behaviour doesn't change accordingly, then they are not worth your time. They will just get worse and worse and I do believe the OP girl is a drama queen kinda girl.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Building LTR's, FWB's doesn't really matter what category you see the woman in. When they "publicly" disrespect you there's only 1 option. Any self respecting SS'ers know exactly what that is. You walk. Don't look back, don't allow them to grovel, don't let them blame behavior on the their BAC, nada. I don't even get why there's a bunch of posters debating this. You are obviously still in the clutches of AFC'dom.
Again, with multi-plate approach you don't even sweat this $hit. I clearly saw it as a last ditch grasp for power thru shame tactic. Well F that. The phonecalls afterwards....bounced off like I was wearing kevlar.

KC

 

[jophil28]

I clearly saw it as a last ditch grasp for power thru shame tactic. Well F that. The phonecalls afterwards....bounced off like I was wearing kevlar.

KC

Haha - yeah, don't they play the shaming card as a favorite.You are right KC ,it is a power play and one that should be NEVER be allowed to succeed.

My experience says that older women who have children use 'shaming' with their children and also use it equally on their new man. HE is treated commonly as the oldest child in her world.
When I told her that this is NOT ok, she really did not get it. AS far as she was concerned, the end (power and control) justified the means.
I suspect ( after several encounters ) that women regard themselves as a GOd appointed universal parent to children and men alike.

 

[FM 3321]

I understand not reacting to women and demanding respect, but I have a question. I'm not saying OP did anything wrong, but reading this made me wonder where the line should be drawn. Do most of you guys feel that you should drop a girl as soon as she makes ANY mistake? It seems to me there should be a balance somewhere between being an AFC and being someone who demands perfection from imperfect beings. Where are your boundaries? And are second chances ever given?

I'm not making any assumptions about anyone here, just putting the question out there.

My personal opinion is that you can drop the girl but she can always pick herself back up for you. If you were in a "relationship" and she cheated that's something that's totally unacceptable to me but that leads to the question "how do I become the type of attractive guy that women do not cheat on?"

 

[hithard]

Building LTR's, FWB's doesn't really matter what category you see the woman in. When they "publicly" disrespect you there's only 1 option. Any self respecting SS'ers know exactly what that is. You walk. Don't look back, don't allow them to grovel, don't let them blame behavior on the their BAC, nada. I don't even get why there's a bunch of posters debating this. You are obviously still in the clutches of AFC'dom.
Again, with multi-plate approach you don't even sweat this $hit. I clearly saw it as a last ditch grasp for power thru shame tactic. Well F that. The phonecalls afterwards....bounced off like I was wearing kevlar.

KC

MMmmm nice flame
Yes there is a difference between FWB and LTR.
Don't pull the self respect or the 'you’re an afc' card just to defend yourself, your values and your actions.

If you get emotional about plates or are totally dictated by ego then walk (FWB plates) over any trivial $hit. Again I would have put this on the backburner if it was an FWB. Each woman you lose you probably lose 5 of her friends as potentials. If she has done something serious sure you ditch and move. However you should concentrate on your long game as well as your short term. Off each plate you should be able to at least 2 more potentials. Total ditching of a plate in a childish manner just means one of your easy supply lines has been cut. But if it is LTR plate spinning then it’s a different game as you have a different goal in mind.

Ego is a bigger enemy when spinning FWB plates then anything else.

FWB goal = no more masturbation
LTR goal = Companionship with a high standard woman

 

[Knight's Cross]

Hithard,
Ok no flaming intended, however I disagree with you. I believe that walking away from disrespect is the proper course. I do not believe that she would character assasinate me to her social circle. To be honest she is probably sitting now wondering what the F she did wrong. Most of the circle that she travels in would probably read in my favor due to her drunken obnoxious state at the Black tie affair. They saw her behavior, and they saw mine. In public I was the man. In private I too was the man and just kept my eyes forward and walked clear of her behavior.
Plate theory to me means that I can drop a plate that is not on the same wavelength as I am. There's no harm if you do it as a mature man. No arguing, no anger, no emotion other than disappointment. That's what I did.
I believe this is good discussion that should be covered on the forum, and I do respect your ideas.

KC