When you Confess (or talk to a girl how you feel) and she says she....

[Happy_Camper]

Hi everyone sorry i cant fit that all in the title. But the question is:

What happens when you meet a girl in university, and you known each other for like a month ( see each other in class 4x a week) and go out once or twice just the two of you and then you tell her how you feel about you like her and want to be in a relationship and she gets shocked about what you said and says she doesnt know you enough, doesnt want to be what happened with her past bf because didnt know soo well or that was sudden?

I dont understand this, if i become friend with a girl (and i dont know how long) and then i get put into the friend category... i would therefore invested all that time and feelings into her and we become friends only.

I mean isnt dating the whole process of knowing each other more?

I heard some ppl say that you should initiate hand holding and if that works out later on tell her how you feel and would like to move into the next step into a relationship. This way you tests out how things work, and if she rejects your hand holding then you dont have to be awkward when she rejects what you verbally say.

Again, i wouldnt know when to start holding hands as well, in addition i dont know what to say to her when the time comes. What like "i really like you, and more than a friend? Can you be my gf?" lol

Most of the girls i know and my friends that are in relationships it was spoken and clear, and the guy said something and thats how they started. The advantages of this is that you get to know when you guys officially started and call that your anniversary.

If you just hold hands and it was a non-verbal 'agreement' where no one told each other how they felt, when would your anniversary be considered to have started?

thanks everyone.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Most of the girls i know and my friends that are in relationships it was spoken and clear, and the guy said something and thats how they started. The advantages of this is that you get to know when you guys officially started and call that your anniversary.

You have been here almost two years and still think this way?

Never confess feelings...never! Even AFCs get laid, but that does not make being an AFC a good idea. DJs get laid more with a lot less effort and pain. The DJ way to get into a relationship is to have sex with her over and over until you seem to fall into it due to the sex, mostly as an accident and certainly nothing that you were trying to achieve. She will latch onto you, and after hours and hours of sex every day for a month or two, then you will find yourself in a relationship. It happens.

 

[Last Man Standing]

A woman shares her sentiments, a man only responds to them!! Never ask a girl directly about how she feels about you, or where you are in the "relationship" -- she should be doing this on her own volition - this is the natural order of things!!!

 

[Poonani Maker]

Dude, I tried to Force the issue with my Oneitis too. I think that she bucked me because she felt that I was trying to TAKE her without even asking if she had a boyfriend, liked me, etc. I just wanted her and I wanted her NOW, and I made wanting-to-BE-with-her Known to her, both publicly And privately. She is the cutest doll I've Ever seen. Blonde scraggly hair, button nose, and Egyptian eyes (regal like gold). In All the porn I've seen over the years, in All the women I've met since birth, none has topped her affect on me purely based on looks and personality. I guess Marilyn Monroe would come close, as well as Reese Witherspoon. I think that because I made my feelings known for this broad, I would have to become some super-success Movie star in order to win her over now. H3ll that might not even work, because that's just the way women are. They're binary 1s and 0s. Once she's put the 0 on you, you've forever lost her. There's no going back. They're not creative enough or mentally adept enough to CHANGE their opinion of you, or feelings/attraction for you.

 

[Last Man Standing]

bbb

 

[JackPrescott]

All this is true. You CANNOT confess feelings to her UNTIL you have fukked her hard. The last two women I got close to as a lover, well, we never really talked about feelings. There was a strong animal attraction, and things moved fast, until we landed up between the sheets. After about the 4th-5th time you are inside them, they cannot stop thinking about you, and are emotionally attached like a mutherfukker. THEN it's ok to say that you have strong feelings for them as well, if you want them for a girlfriend, or even more seriously than that.

There is one I am working on now. She knows I am sexually attracted to her. I believe that she is attracted to me as well. We worked together 2 years ago, and I went for another gal in the office, and this may have bruised her big ass ego a bit. Then she got terminated, and I went on with my relationship. 2 years later, my relationship came apart at the seams, and all of a sudden she is MYSPACEing me, and within a week, asked for my number. We have texted each other like mad, and I asked her out and she accepted. She flaked, and I "nexted" her, but she apologized, and the excuse seemed legit, and we re-set the date. We spent a good portion of 3-4 hours texting each other tonite. There is some flirting going on. Some serious talk as well. I am going to, within 3 days go on a date with her. It SERIOUSLY needs to end with us making out passionatley. If it does, I am as good as in.

Theoretically, lets say we go out Saturday to a Kareokee bar. I will get some shots in her, and sing "Careless Whisper" by George Michael while looking into her eyes. Good times. Lots of KINO and hopefully she responds, and we are all over each other. If my plan works, we should be at an after hours breakfast at 2am, holding hands, kissing, ect. The night will end with some passionate kissing outside our cars.

This is just the set up. What I am doing is building the sexual tension to a fever pitch, so that she CANNOT stop thinking about sleeping with me.

Within about a week, I should be giving her a hot oil massage at either hers or my place.

NOW this is IF she isnt a BS "LJBF" flake, and if she is, it is fukking Twilight Zone that she would have spent so much time and effort contacting me. My theory is that its for a sexual reason.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Dang Happy Camper! You really need to do some serious studying around here.
I don't mean to be a prick or a know it all, but as far as the material you will find on this site is concerned, you seem to be pretty much at the beginning.

 

[Happy_Camper]

Dang Happy Camper! You really need to do some serious studying around here.
I don't mean to be a prick or a know it all, but as far as the material you will find on this site is concerned, you seem to be pretty much at the beginning.

its ok, i want to hear everyones opinion, i wont get upset in fact its good to hear what many different ppl say and their experiences, thanks =)

 

[Tear Gas]

never spill out your feelings to a girl..always let her start with the "i really like you" bullsh1t. THe only thing you should let her know at first is a sexual attraction for her, and you can show this by just asking her out. Don't say "you're hot" keep her guessing and thinking about you. If you spill out all your emotions, it's not a challenge for her anymore and she's prob gonna get turned off

 

[MacAvoy]

In addition to what everyone says about not confessing your feelings, from the bible

Becoming exclusive with a woman means the both of you talk about not dating or seeing anyone else. The dating with others comes to an end.
Never ask a women to become exclusive. She must ask YOU. She must talk about it FIRST.
Why? If a woman hasn't asked you yet it means she is still open to seeing others. She still has DOUBTS about you. Highly interested women don't want you going out with other women.

A woman asking for exclusivity is like a 'marriage proposal'. She is cementing and laying the foundation for true intimacy.
She wants something that's lasting. It is the ULTIMATE test of interest, guys. She is 'proposing'.

If you ask first, you will never know her true interest level. Why didn't she bring it up? How come she is still letting you see others? Why isn't she CLOSING her options? Is she seeing someone else?

Think about it.

AD

 

[Señor Fingers]

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sorry but I had to let that out..

What is this, the Catholic Church?? What are you doing "confessing"?

The whole vibe of confession implies a sense of guilt and there is nothing you should be ashamed of!

Confessing with words will never be as sexy as demonstrating with ACTIONS.

Women are reactionary in nature.. they are the ones that should be confessing, not you!

 

[The Deacon]

Happy_Camper,

I think I understand your question. You're not official with a girl until the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is verbalized. If you're holding hands/kissing/fvcking, but no verbalized statement about bf/gf was made, you're dating. That's a completely different thing. Don't get the two things confused, or you'll come across as needy.

As a rule of thumb, date consistently for about a month (with no less than 4 dates) then state your intention to be bf/gf. That way, you'll lose the "desperate" vibe that I'm kind of getting from your post. No offense.

 

[Climax]

This is the thing that I dont understand about getting into a relationship with someone... Why waste your time wondering when the time is right? Or who will "confess" (i hate that word) to whom... Why not rather get to a point where you spend more and more time with one another and then if things click on between the 2 of you, then you'll both know/feel it.. and after a while becoming "bf/gf will just be a technicality.

If you and a woman are seeing each other regularly and really enjoy one another's company and get to the point where you really look forward to spending time with each other... then that is a good "hint" that you guys are on the right track.

Some women, especially in this day and age with all the "Cosmopolitan" sexist bullsh!t that women are fed these days with magazines and TV shows tend to take longer (have her guard up more with regards to certain aspects of dating etc) to express to you how they really feel. They are told its a form of protecting themselves from getting hurt... pretty much the same as what we are doing now (in this thread) preaching about how bad it is to "confess" our feelings.

Personally the way you interact with one another will be "confessing" exactly how the both of you feel by ACTION as apposed to just simply saying it.

So a month is not enough to be able to determine if you guys are perfect for one another... So rather than spend your time worrying and planning how to verbally tell her how you feel, take the time to show her and express to her how you feel. (slowly but surely obviously) - So for now just spend time with her, enjoy each others company, share memories, learn more about one another, and with time you'll both feel if its working out or not.

Either way you win. You experience unique things, you learn, you grow, and you will inevitably conquer sooner or later.

 

[MooseGod]

The problem is you're using labels too soon. The way to do it is to start "hanging out." Go do things together. Take her bowling. Go to some parties with her. Let her take bong rips with you and your friends...whatever it is you do. If you both like each other, she will most likely inquire as to an exclusive arrangement sooner or later.

 

[DonGorgon]

great info in here... it all ads up to dont get emotional like a woman should.

 

[Happy_Camper]

This is the thing that I dont understand about getting into a relationship with someone... Why waste your time wondering when the time is right? Or who will "confess" (i hate that word) to whom... Why not rather get to a point where you spend more and more time with one another and then if things click on between the 2 of you, then you'll both know/feel it.. and after a while becoming "bf/gf will just be a technicality.

If you and a woman are seeing each other regularly and really enjoy one another's company and get to the point where you really look forward to spending time with each other... then that is a good "hint" that you guys are on the right track.

Some women, especially in this day and age with all the "Cosmopolitan" sexist bullsh!t that women are fed these days with magazines and TV shows tend to take longer (have her guard up more with regards to certain aspects of dating etc) to express to you how they really feel. They are told its a form of protecting themselves from getting hurt... pretty much the same as what we are doing now (in this thread) preaching about how bad it is to "confess" our feelings.

Personally the way you interact with one another will be "confessing" exactly how the both of you feel by ACTION as apposed to just simply saying it.

So a month is not enough to be able to determine if you guys are perfect for one another... So rather than spend your time worrying and planning how to verbally tell her how you feel, take the time to show her and express to her how you feel. (slowly but surely obviously) - So for now just spend time with her, enjoy each others company, share memories, learn more about one another, and with time you'll both feel if its working out or not.

Either way you win. You experience unique things, you learn, you grow, and you will inevitably conquer sooner or later.

good point. The thing is however is that i dont want to invest too much of my feelings into her and then later regret i couldve went for someone else when she only considers me as a friend only.

I heard that you should always show her your feelings toward actions even when she considers you as a friend. Things like putting your arm around her or kinoing her.

If i were to spend more time around her, like watching a movie what are the things i should do?

thanks.

 

[playa99]

You should only confess your feelings for her once you are in an LTR, you need to be a challenge, stop doing friend things, asking her out on action dates, do, do, do lol only let her into your inner workings when you have banged her, btw if you have bin AFC with this girl do some ganji games and stay away from her for a bit, from your original post it looks like you have been a friend to her, you need to be a man to her

 

[LostAndConfused]

Most of the girls i know and my friends that are in relationships it was spoken and clear, and the guy said something and thats how they started. The advantages of this is that you get to know when you guys officially started and call that your anniversary.

You have been here almost two years and still think this way?

Never confess feelings...never! Even AFCs get laid, but that does not make being an AFC a good idea. DJs get laid more with a lot less effort and pain. The DJ way to get into a relationship is to have sex with her over and over until you seem to fall into it due to the sex, mostly as an accident and certainly nothing that you were trying to achieve. She will latch onto you, and after hours and hours of sex every day for a month or two, then you will find yourself in a relationship. It happens.

Yes. AFCs "get lucky", DJs make luck.

 

[DonGorgon]

Yes. AFCs "get lucky", DJs make luck.

We all get lucky.

 

[Maxtro]

Know each other for like a month ( see each other in class 4x a week) and go out once or twice just the two of you and then you tell her how you feel about you like her and want to be in a relationship.

Hold on there buddy.

How have you shown her that you wanted to be in a relationship with her? Based on what I understand, you've seen her in class almost every day and you've spent time with her outside of class once or twice.

Where any of those times a date? Did you try to kiss, hold hands or even hug her? Any physical contact?

I dont understand this, if i become friend with a girl (and i dont know how long) and then i get put into the friend category... i would therefore invested all that time and feelings into her and we become friends only.

I'm sorry to say this, but she doesn't care how much time and feelings you have invested into her. You can't convince somebody to like you.

I mean isnt dating the whole process of knowing each other more?

Yes it is. But do you think you were dating her?

I heard some ppl say that you should initiate hand holding and if that works out later on tell her how you feel and would like to move into the next step into a relationship. This way you tests out how things work, and if she rejects your hand holding then you dont have to be awkward when she rejects what you verbally say.

Again, i wouldnt know when to start holding hands as well, in addition i dont know what to say to her when the time comes. What like "i really like you, and more than a friend? Can you be my gf?" lol

Yes, holding a girls had is a good way to test if she likes you. If you think the time is right, just grab her hand. If she says something bad or takes her hand away it shows that she isn't interested. If she doesn't reject your hand, then give her a little squeeze, if she reciprocates then it's a good sign. Don't forget to let go.

Your next goal is to try and kiss her. Look around for the kiss test.

Most of the girls i know and my friends that are in relationships it was spoken and clear, and the guy said something and thats how they started. The advantages of this is that you get to know when you guys officially started and call that your anniversary.

If you just hold hands and it was a non-verbal 'agreement' where no one told each other how they felt, when would your anniversary be considered to have started?

thanks everyone.

Why do you even care about your anniversary? Thats definitely a chick thing. If you do want to have an anniversary then have it start when you two have sex. Until you've had sex, you aren't even really dating. Your just two friends spending time together.