When you appear to be a Rembrandt... you will be tested.

[RangerMIke]

Got a PM yesterday and I’ve seen a few threads on this board with the general theme that men are checking all the boxes… They workout, look great, dress well, have good jobs, and yet they are still having trouble getting the chicks they want.

This is all completely normal and nothing to worry about. It’s human nature to be skeptical of something that might be too good to be true because we have all been burned by a ‘product’ you thought was great… but ended up being cr@p. The higher your SMV appears to be, the more you will be tested to see if you are for real. Just own it and stay on your life path.

Another thing you must consider is that every chick is replete with insecurities, and when you look like a guy that many women want, many with low confidence, will not want to take a chance on someone that is going to be hard to keep. These women will subconsciously play games and gauge how you respond.

Your response should be to not care about this; continue to put yourself in social situations where you maximize your chances to meet women, keep asking them out, screen out chicks that are not interested or have low confidence and realize that it is a numbers game.

The keys to success on this path are:

(1) Stay busy building YOUR life because that makes your life better, and never allow chicks to get to you emotionally.

(2) Never lock onto any one chick, they are all pretty much the same. If you are the kind of guy that wants a relationship, then consider the chick you are currently with can and will be easily replaced.

(3) Understand that all negative emotion has at its roots.... expectation… the minute you start to have an ‘expectation’ you are sowing the seeds of disappointment when things do not come out as expected. The way to do this is to stay in the PRESENT with women, just have fun. Learn from history, but stop worrying about sh!t that has happened in the past, and never think anything is going to turn out the way you think. Being present is something that men find hard to do, because we are genetically coded to solve problems that achieve a specific result. You should do this when you are building your life, but it doesn’t work with chicks. The skills you used to look good, build a career, and social status are WORTHLESS when it comes to chicks.

LMS gets you in the door but acting like a man is what drives up her interest. A man does not worry about the emotional machinations of chicks. If she starts playing games, just go find other women. Develop the mindset that you would rather spend time alone than with chicks that are no fun.

 

[HankHill]

I agree with everything above except the expectation part. It's not that I disagree but it bothers me that even 'being in love' you can't expect your partner to do what you'd do for them, that's just sh*tty. Now I've witnessed genuine care from the wives of some of my friends and family. There are stories of men who lost their limbs in accidents/war and their wives/finances/girlfriends stuck by their sides through all that. Then there was a woman I met a few years ago who was diagnosed with lupus and soon after that her husband divorced her and remarried another woman. So there's all kinds of stories and examples or good morals and love. Though we obviously haven't been so lucky that's why we're here, I'm still holding out hope (expectation lol).

 

[zekko]

There are stories of men who lost their limbs in accidents/war and their wives/finances/girlfriends stuck by their sides through all that. Then there was a woman I met a few years ago who was diagnosed with lupus and soon after that her husband divorced her and remarried another woman. So there's all kinds of stories and examples or good morals and love.

You're right, those gals exist. If you get one, great you've won the lottery. Unfortunately I don't think there's any way to guarantee that you have one of these women, no matter how well you screen. That's why I would err on the side of caution.

 

[RangerMIke]

@HankHill @zekko is right. Appreciate when you find a loyal chick that you are attracted to that treats you well... but never expect that. It does happen, but remember half of all marriages end in divorce, and half of the so called 'lucky' ones that stay married are just fvcking miserable... waiting to die. Of the 25% of all couple who marry, maybe half are truly happy... so you have a 1-8 chance.

You can improve the odds if you effectively screen out chicks that are bad for you, but too many men are blinded by love goggles until it is too late, and remember that divorce is expensive (from personal experience) but getting out of a horrible life situation is worth it because you only live once.

 

[resilient]

This clip never gets old to me:

madea - let them go

From the video what rings true is that some people enter your life for a season.

Many don’t know the difference and blindly walk into love and marriage... wake up months or years later and think “wtf did I marry this person?”. Many people will march into marriage while still infatuated to feel “blindsided” later when the person they married changes so quickly to something else that they can’t mend and steer the relationship.

There are no guarantees with marriage. There’s always a chance of divorce.

You just hope the two of you are grounded enough persons that love each other and will work things out to grow and improve.

 

[Roober]

Got a PM yesterday and I’ve seen a few threads on this board with the general theme that men are checking all the boxes… They workout, look great, dress well, have good jobs, and yet they are still having trouble getting the chicks they want.

This is all completely normal and nothing to worry about. It’s human nature to be skeptical of something that might be too good to be true because we have all been burned by a ‘product’ you thought was great… but ended up being cr@p. The higher your SMV appears to be, the more you will be tested to see if you are for real. Just own it and stay on your life path.

Another thing you must consider is that every chick is replete with insecurities, and when you look like a guy that many women want, many with low confidence, will not want to take a chance on someone that is going to be hard to keep. These women will subconsciously play games and gauge how you respond.

Your response should be to not care about this; continue to put yourself in social situations where you maximize your chances to meet women, keep asking them out, screen out chicks that are not interested or have low confidence and realize that it is a numbers game.

The keys to success on this path are:

(1) Stay busy building YOUR life because that makes your life better, and never allow chicks to get to you emotionally.

(2) Never lock onto any one chick, they are all pretty much the same. If you are the kind of guy that wants a relationship, then consider the chick you are currently with can and will be easily replaced.

(3) Understand that all negative emotion has at its roots.... expectation… the minute you start to have an ‘expectation’ you are sowing the seeds of disappointment when things do not come out as expected. The way to do this is to stay in the PRESENT with women, just have fun. Learn from history, but stop worrying about sh!t that has happened in the past, and never think anything is going to turn out the way you think. Being present is something that men find hard to do, because we are genetically coded to solve problems that achieve a specific result. You should do this when you are building your life, but it doesn’t work with chicks. The skills you used to look good, build a career, and social status are WORTHLESS when it comes to chicks.

LMS gets you in the door but acting like a man is what drives up her interest. A man does not worry about the emotional machinations of chicks. If she starts playing games, just go find other women. Develop the mindset that you would rather spend time alone than with chicks that are no fun.

I think #2 is especially important. It is important for men to understand their value and that there are no special snowflakes out there.

Talked with a buddy the other night, and we agreed that it is much healthier for men in relationships, to be with a woman who treats them well. But it also should be a woman you can drop at any time, and barely blink an eye. If the breakup would demolish you and/or part of your life, then you are not in a healthy mindset.

To use myself as an example, my current LTR treats me very well, and I do love her. If something happened, I would be affected because I am a human being, but my life would remain largely unchanged.

On a mans journey, a woman is like a trusty hammer. It's a great tool, and ofcourse you will be sad if it breaks. A broken hammer wouldn't stop you from building a house.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Wanted to bump this post because it really drives home a point that I struggle with but have finally started to internalize and accept.

I was a late Bloomer and around my mid 20s was when I really started getting my act together, i.e. making money, living on my own in a different part of the country from where I grew up, pumping iron consistently. Basically was in the process of turning myself into a high value guy. I'm now 29, dress well, have my own 2 bedroom apartment in LA, am in shape and make good money for my age.

However, until recently my MINDSET was still trapped in the past. Externally, I was this guy who had his sh*t together but internally I was still offended by or troubled by stuff or reactions I'd get from people from the perspective of who I was in high school. It took me time to realize that being a high value guy comes with its bumps and tests from people to MAKE SURE you're legit. People will throw all kinds of junk and curveballs at a guy who they think can handle it. If you flip out and get flustered then you're incongruent with who you appear to be which causes people to lose all their trust and sense of security in you. This goes for business relationships, friendships and of course romantic relationships.

My problem was thinking that if I was good enough, alpha enough, whatever you want to call it, that everyone would just submit to me and life would be a cakewalk. I couldn't have been more wrong. It's refreshing because it makes you realize there's a whole bunch of stuff you can't control. You can only control yourself and how you react.

Excellet post @RangerMIke . I really do enjoy and learn a great deal from your content here.