When Women Try to Interview You

DJDamage

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Latley I noticed that many women on dates are trying to feel the guy and see whether or not he is "husband material" and if he doesn't fit the mold of a husband material then they lose interest. Any truth to that?! or I am just seeing too many princesses around?!

I read David D stuff saying that if you have not achieved yet things in life, just try to dance around the issue and be C0cky and funny and try to show her your positive attributes while downplaying your weak attributes. From this it sounds like downplaying your weakness and being C0cky and funny is an actual act that women tend to pick on very well and it will reek of insecurity.

If you are still not in a position you want to be how do you be honest with your accomplishments and still have the woman think that she shouldn't drop your ass??!! I mean I am soon turning 27 and I had to go back to school, and I find it quite distressing to let them know I am still in school as oppose to men my age who are already working and living on thier own (due to financial situation which I messed up over the years I am living with parents).
 

mongoose01

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Good question. I've had major setbacks in life and I had the same type of concerns. Then one day I just realized, it's my life and I'm doing what I need to do to accomplish my goals. I really don't care what some woman thinks about my situation. Don't let anyone qualify you. If she doesn't like you because you decided not to succumb to hardship and you've decided to improve yourself - screw it.

To answer your question: I've had a few setbacks and going to school will put me on the right path to accomplish my sh!t. Leave it at that.

I've had a girl recently ask me some of the same stuff. I used that and she responded with - what type of setbacks. Tell her it's not important right now and rather not discuss. It's nothing illegal or immoral, but some curveballs life through at a brother. Then keep it moving.

Another thing, don't be afraid to say this stuff to women. In the big picture of life, it doesn't matter.
 

DJDamage

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mongoose01 said:
I've had a girl recently ask me some of the same stuff. I used that and she responded with - what type of setbacks. Tell her it's not important right now and rather not discuss. It's nothing illegal or immoral, but some curveballs life through at a brother. Then keep it moving.

Another thing, don't be afraid to say this stuff to women. In the big picture of life, it doesn't matter.
That is a good idea actually. My approach that I was actually thinking of using is telling them the truth in a way that will make me better in the end like saying: "You know when I was younger I was immature and didn't take life seriously and then I grow up and now I do". As long as they see a transformation then its a positive thing.

The thing is that concern me is that women in their mid 20 to late 20's are already desperatley hunting those days to find a husband and are being very competitive about it. I do not wish to get married but rather spin more plates and its a hard sell to those women who already want to committ to you ASAP.
 

JC9

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DJDamage said:
The thing is that concern me is that women in their mid 20 to late 20's are already desperatley hunting those days to find a husband and are being very competitive about it. I do not wish to get married but rather spin more plates and its a hard sell to those women who already want to committ to you ASAP.
The girls I date are in the 23-31 range, and not all of them are looking for commitment or to get married. They all ask the questions on your background, because that's what girls do. Just give a vague answer and get back to the date.

Dating is supposed to be fun. If a girl starts geting into interview mode, try and break her out of it and get back to the date activity. If she continues to ruin your good time, just leave.

Rollo T's Plate theory is good, but remember they need to be plates worth spinning. Any girl who is looking to commit to you ASAP is a plate better left in the cupboard.
 

mongoose01

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Good good responses. Yes, dating is supposed to be fun. Once it turns into an interview, then the fun stops.

Don't take all this so seriously. Don't worry too much about what they think. I've dated women with nice cars, house, job, etc, etc. Guess what...they were just as batty as could be. Had all kinds of issues, problems, and bullsht. The ones that didn't, would fabricate issues, problems, and bullsh!t.

I hate to say this, but you have to have the attitude that you really don't give a fvck what they think. Having a nice car and some other sh!t doesn't tell you crap about a women's honestly, character, and others words I hear on the oxygen network.

I was there. I had a crap apartment with no furniture. Rusty car. Hardly any money. I did what I had to do to get ahead. Things have improved drastically for me. Because I took the attitude...I don't care what anyone thinks about me or my situation. I'm taking care of my business. Sometimes you gotta step back to JUMP ahead.
 

Slickster

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This "interview" behaviour is happening all the time. Its in a woman's nature.

Some people call it gold digging. It is kind of lame but there's no getting away from it. You can't really blame someone for wanting the best for themselves can you?

Anyway here's a link with some instructions on how to handle those "extremely" obvious gold digging types. :)
 

Macgyver

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Women insidiously have a mental calculator going in their head they do this interview most of the time unconciously to determine. Some guys tell me "Oh just be vague" No I disagree this thought, your true self will be found sooner or later, give it to her right on the spot but hit her back with similar questions - at least when she does cut you off, it's a lot sooner than earlier. It's better this way so you both figure out you both aren't that compatible after all.
 

DJDamage

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JC9 said:
Dating is supposed to be fun. If a girl starts geting into interview mode, try and break her out of it and get back to the date activity. If she continues to ruin your good time, just leave
That is a solid advice.


JC9 said:
Any girl who is looking to commit to you ASAP is a plate better left in the cupboard.
I probably shouldn't say commit but rather qualify. Women who are looking for LTR and marriage tend to be more fickle about going to bed with a guy who currently doesn't have great prospect of being a good provider. If they already choose you to be that guy then they will sleep with you. If not then its not going to go anywhere.


mongoose01 said:
I hate to say this, but you have to have the attitude that you really don't give a fvck what they think.
That is another good advice ,fvck them its not like every woman is like that and I shouldn't worry too much if I am going to be seeing 3-4 and get rid of those who are fickle rather quickley.


Slickster said:
Her: So what do you do?

The idea is for her to think that you are lying - cuz you are. So look up as though you are thinking of something to make up. Now she's expecting you to say something prestigious like most chumps do when they brag/lie about their jobs to women.

You: (Smiling coyly) I'm a Garbage man.

Her: (Laughing, knows you're lying) No you're not.

You can milk this for whatever laughter you can get out of the subject. Maybe tell her sarcastically that you love new and interesting smells, or you are on a mission to clean up the world.
Anyway after the laughter ends follow up with...

You: Actually I never tell people what it is I do.

Her: Why?

You: Because I want people to like me for me, not my money.

Now you've given her two things. The impression that you have lots of money, and mystery as to what it is you do.

If she pressures you any more keep her guessing but eventually tell her you are in "Business"

(Notice you haven't told any real *lies* here. You didn't actually say you had money. She WANTS to think you have money. And you ARE in "business". Hell I'm always busy.)

I'm usually dressed pretty sharp so when I tell chicks I'm a Garbage man they just know I'm lying and the whole thing plays out perfectly. I've used this about a dozen times and its usually raises her IL nicely. A couple times the chicks actually turned out to be real stalkers. I hate gold diggers and have no sympathy for their ways.

If they want to f*ck me because they think I have money then I have no remorse in dumping them when I'm done
Fvck this is some good sh1t.


Macgyver said:
Women insidiously have a mental calculator going in their head they do this interview most of the time unconciously to determine. Some guys tell me "Oh just be vague" No I disagree this thought, your true self will be found sooner or later, give it to her right on the spot but hit her back with similar questions - at least when she does cut you off, it's a lot sooner than earlier. It's better this way so you both figure out you both aren't that compatible after all.
I don't think there is such thing as your true self. Why should a woman know what I do on the spot? Its a two way street and if she is going to disqualify me because of my current situation then why should I tell her the truth??!! women tend to qualify men if they have high interest in them and end up not caring what the guy does even if he is broke ass on welfare. There are many guys that go to prison but they don't tell the girl on the first few dates because that would automatically disqualify them (unless those chicks are into that) but if they wait a month or so if the girl is already into them then she will most likely to overlook that fact and accept it. Remember alot of women sleep with men they know that are bad and do bad things but they stick with them anyway due to the fact that those men turn them on and that those men do not do bad things to them. Logic then gets thrown out the window when you are dealing with high emotions and high interest level.

Thanx for all your help.

DJD
 

JC9

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Macgyver said:
Women insidiously have a mental calculator going in their head they do this interview most of the time unconciously to determine. Some guys tell me "Oh just be vague" No I disagree this thought, your true self will be found sooner or later, give it to her right on the spot but hit her back with similar questions - at least when she does cut you off, it's a lot sooner than earlier. It's better this way so you both figure out you both aren't that compatible after all.
The idea of being vague isn't to hide your true self, it's about dealing with bull**** from the woman without being too rude. What has the girl done to earn the right to know about your past, your income, your hopes, your dreams on the first or second date?

You can reveal yourself over time to a women, as she earns your trust.

Macgyver said:
your true self will be found sooner or later
This is true. However, if the girl doesn't know you well enough yet she has no filter to see your actions through, whereas if she knew you longer and better she could better understand why you are where you are at.

For example, say you live at home with your parents. You tell that to a girl day 1 when she barely knows you, her mind will start coming up with tons of reasons why that is and none of them will be true. Now take that same thing, and reveal it to a girl who has known you for a while and she might understand that you are doing it as a means to get out of debt quickly so you can start your own business or whatever your reason is.

Personally, I find it to be rude if a girl is acting like a detective and trying to interview me so I'll either get them to cut it out and go back to having a good time or walk.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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Schedules of Mating

One thing I think is slipping past you here is that women are on different schedules of mating for different periods of their lives. Between the ages of 18 and 27, most women practice sexual behaviors associated with short term mating schedules. Physical attraction and availability of sexual encounters are more important criteria for her intimacy, and sex usually is contained in short term committment or breif encounters (ONSs). That's not to exclude women from getting married or seeking long term potential mates in this period, but it's the criteria for her sexual acceptance that dictates her choices, and a woman at the peak of her attractiveness and sexual availabilty is more prone to base her sexual choices according to physical conditions rather than long term provisioning capacity in a man. Ergo, we see the majority of failed marriages coming from couples married during their 20s. In fact it is statistically verifiable that the younger a couple is when they get married the more likely they are to divorce. It could be concluded that this is due to long term choices being made by immature individuals with no real sense of what constitutes the criteria for long term viability and therefore they rely on their short term breeding shcedule and end up with long term consequences. Thus we have the couple marrying due to an unwanted pregnancy and women seeming more fickle in their sexual selection during Spring Break in Cancun.

What DJ DAMAGE is experiencing is the effects of a long term schedule of mating. It's no secret that women have a laundry list of prerequisites they set as conditions for a man's acceptability into long term intimacy. He must be attractive, financially stable, possess status (some call this power), have a sense of humor, be sensitive to her needs, be decisive, be a good listener, be single (usually), he must initiate, have confidence, have ambition and the motivation to pursue it, be passionate, etc. etc. and the list goes on and on. Men have one criteria for intimacy - she's got to be hot. Attractiveness and sexual availabilty are the only prerequisites necessary for him to engage in sexual behavior with a woman.

As a woman ages these conditions shift and become re-prioritized according to her physical attractiveness and capacity to compete with other women for acceptable men's attentions. They insticntively know that as they age their sexual marketability decreases, while a man's capacity to meet her conditions for her (and other women's) intimacy increases (or at least should mature better). This then serves as an establishing operation for her to reorder her conditions, better maintain her physique and/or devlop mental/social schemas which constrain men into their own conditions. In order to better ensure the broadest pool of eligible, "Husband Material", men while simultaneously competing for men's attentions with other, generally younger and more attractive females, older women have devloped social contrivances to covertly and psychologically convince them (and younger women I might add) it is their responsibility to embody what they believe is entitled and expected from them. Thus we have these contrivances thrust into popular consciousness -

Men ought to marry/date/breed with women their own age.
Men shouldn't discount single mothers as viable marriage options
Men should respect the careers women choose

All of these contrivances in their many forms serve the latent purpose of keeping an aging woman established as competitive "Wife Material" regardless of the personal choices and the responsibilities, liabilities and the consequences these choices may have in the long term for her that will include her potential mate.

Most often these messages are delivered to a man in the guise of shame. Shaming a man into accepting, internalizing and embodying these entitlements-as-breeding-function is a genetic bonanza. How often do we read in print the "Men are infantile for marrying/dating women 8-10 years their junior" shaming ploy in popular media? All this amounts to is a latent plea for sexual acceptance after a woman has reached her sexual expiration date or is enduring the consequence of the choices she's made in her youth and finds fewer and fewer men are willing to share them with her. "Men are afraid of commitment, threatened by intelligent career women, protective of their fragile egos" etc. all of these amount to social shaming contrivances to better place older women on a (realatively) level playing field with younger, more attractive women they are forced to compete with.

I would advise you be less concerned with how well you live up to the conditions of women in exchange for their intimacy and more concerned with how well she performs to your conditions. This is where the PRIZE mentality becomes preminent and serves you into the long term. A woman in this stage of life has far more at stake to lose in the long term, and men in your position only increase in their provisioning value as they get older. Her sexual commodity is what will be decreasing as your capacity for providing long term security provisioning will be increasing. She is in the weaker position and she knows this subconsciously, use this to your own benefit and do not allow her to shame you into thinking her expectations are the deciding factor in long term success of a relationship.

You hold a royal flush in your hands, don't let any woman convince you to fold.
 

DJDamage

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Thus we have these contrivances thrust into popular consciousness -

Men ought to marry/date/breed with women their own age.
Men shouldn't discount single mothers as viable marriage options
Men should respect the careers women choose
You better be writing a book RT!

I noticed those contrivances as well but never questioned where they were coming from. Older women always put down men who do not date close to their age and are selective based on attraction value. As well I noticed many young clueless women go through college in order to reach some sort of Master or Phd degree and don't even know what to do with it but they just want it. My guess is that they have been watching too much television and the so called high profile career women tend to be respected and have a perfect marriage.


Rollo Tomassi said:
She is in the weaker position and she knows this subconsciously, use this to your own benefit and do not allow her to shame you into thinking her expectations are the deciding factor in long term success of a relationship.

You hold a royal flush in your hands, don't let any woman convince you to fold.
You are right. I know plenty of guys who have a good careers or money but they keep failing on dates because they keep talking about it all the time in order to impress the woman, yet it doesn't impress them and they never see a second date (lack of game is also apperent here from their part).

DJD
 

NorPacWolf

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Flip the Script

Be sure to check out Mystery's ebook as well as his OAP. You should be qualifying the girls rather than the other way around. Also, try to avoid dinner dates unless she's already your girlfriend. If you want to go out on "dates" invite the girl in question to tag along with you when you go out and do interesting activities. That way, she is in your world, and not vice versa. If she doesn't want to go, invite another girl or a guy. Forget her.

Wolf
 

S1NN3R

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Generally a woman is more impressed with what you want to do in your life and what you're doing to attain it than what you have already done.
 

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S1NN3R said:
Generally a woman is more impressed with what you want to do in your life and what you're doing to attain it than what you have already done.

Yes

There is a saying about that that goes something like "You don't marry a General, you marry a future General. "

Women don't necessarily expect you to be completely set for life, but they want indications of potential for the future.
 

xmlenigma

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From this it sounds like downplaying your weakness and being C0cky and funny is an actual act that women tend to pick on very well and it will reek of insecurity.
Disqualifying yourself in some areas but not being AFRAID to do so..and being comfortable in your own skin counts as POWERFUL.
 

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Maximus_Decimus said:
LOL, this is not entirely true. Most women will naturally pick a currently successful man (Man A) over a man (Man B) who has potential to be even more successful than "Man A." This is especially rampant with women around 25 and up.

Man A is 30 years old, has been in his career for 5 years longer than Man B, and is somewhat successful in that he owns his own house, and a decent car. By the time Man A is 50 in the future, he will be a high earning white collar worker but nowhere as successful as Man B at 50.

Let's assume Man B is 25 years old and is starting out his career and has lots of potential but this is not visible yet. He owns no property and his car is substandard. By the time Man B is 50 in the future, he will be a multi-millionare CEO.

Assuming all other factors are equal including looks, height, social skills, humor, etc between Man A and Man B, who do you think a 25 year old chick would choose?

This is why men in their late twenties and early thirties are in their prime when scoring with chicks ... their age and looks can compete with other men in their early twenties but their earning power and their status of wealth gives them an edge over other men that are just starting out their career.

Maximus_Decimus
quite honestly, she will choose the one who is a better man/lover. Not even a question about it.

Unless she is hellbent on having a provider, in which case she can still have lovers.

Wealth and achievement should be for yourself anyway, not for attracting women. The only way in which wealth/success/etc should be used for getting women is when it gives you extra confidence/sex appeal.
 

xmlenigma

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Maximus_Decimus said:
LOL, this is not entirely true. Most women will naturally pick a currently successful man (Man A) over a man (Man B) who has potential to be even more successful than "Man A." This is especially rampant with women around 25 and up.

Man A is 30 years old, has been in his career for 5 years longer than Man B, and is somewhat successful in that he owns his own house, and a decent car. By the time Man A is 50 in the future, he will be a high earning white collar worker but nowhere as successful as Man B at 50.

Let's assume Man B is 25 years old and is starting out his career and has lots of potential but this is not visible yet. He owns no property and his car is substandard. By the time Man B is 50 in the future, he will be a multi-millionare CEO.

Assuming all other factors are equal including looks, height, social skills, humor, etc between Man A and Man B, who do you think a 25 year old chick would choose?

This is why men in their late twenties and early thirties are in their prime when scoring with chicks ... their age and looks can compete with other men in their early twenties but their earning power and their status of wealth gives them an edge over other men that are just starting out their career.

Maximus_Decimus
Not necessarily those demographics.. but the 'confidence' factor, the 'i am comfortable in my own skin', i am not afraid of being judged factor, i dont pick petty fights factors.. and more make him 'generally' more appealing. But, not all wealthy or better settled guys will have this all encompassing confident vibe. At times younger entreprenuers have more of that than anyone else. Ive seen early 20s with more confidence and life experience.

Its not about the accomplishments.. its about how you have GROWN as a person... the person inside you.
 

Egoist

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P.S. when women try to interview me, i just look them straight in the eyes and tell them I'm a bum. I don't work that much, and they usually know. But they see the clothes, and the car, and it makes them wonder a little bit. But I stay beyond their questioning and just kinda shrug it off. That makes them even more interested. Its mostly because I hate explaining my business and lifestyle to them.
 

Egoist

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xmlenigma said:
Not necessarily those demographics.. but the 'confidence' factor, the 'i am comfortable in my own skin', i am not afraid of being judged factor, i dont pick petty fights factors.. and more make him 'generally' more appealing. But, not all wealthy or better settled guys will have this all encompassing confident vibe. At times younger entreprenuers have more of that than anyone else. Ive seen early 20s with more confidence and life experience.

Its not about the accomplishments.. its about how you have GROWN as a person... the person inside you.

EXACTLY.

you know exactly what I mean. And its all about being the best man you could be. And its not about wealth as much as doing what you love, having the confidence of truly fvcking the sh!t out of life and so on.
 

Latinoman

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DJDamage said:
Latley I noticed that many women on dates are trying to feel the guy and see whether or not he is "husband material" and if he doesn't fit the mold of a husband material then they lose interest. Any truth to that?! or I am just seeing too many princesses around?!

I read David D stuff saying that if you have not achieved yet things in life, just try to dance around the issue and be C0cky and funny and try to show her your positive attributes while downplaying your weak attributes. From this it sounds like downplaying your weakness and being C0cky and funny is an actual act that women tend to pick on very well and it will reek of insecurity.

If you are still not in a position you want to be how do you be honest with your accomplishments and still have the woman think that she shouldn't drop your ass??!! I mean I am soon turning 27 and I had to go back to school, and I find it quite distressing to let them know I am still in school as oppose to men my age who are already working and living on thier own (due to financial situation which I messed up over the years I am living with parents).
If you are a full time student...and the "good" available women are giving you a hard time because you are a full time student...then forget about them and for the time being date women that are currently in college. You will have a LOT of fun in the process. ;)

But...let's say you are currently working and going to school at night or part time...then that's NOTHING to feel ashamed off; in fact, that's admirable, IMO. (Going back to school is admirable too).

Remember, women that happen to be educated AND attractive AND intelligent AND professional can CHOOSE: Especially women in their primes (25-29 year old range) with the aforementioned qualities.


Women want stability in a LTR. Also...remember, many women think about how society (and friends) will judge them too. "Hey, Jane...what does your boyfriend does for a living?"

Concerning the interview issue...I will get into that later or another day. I have been interviewed a few times…doesn't bother me at all. I truly have an internal mind frame in which I consider myself the prize.

But I understand and agree with women "interviewing" men. That's the advice I would give a woman if she asked me how to approach a possible date or somebody she met. If she ask for Internet guys, my answer is the same - "Men that date using the Internet are losers" (I know that's not always the case, but if you tell a woman that a handful could actually be great men, then they assume that she met that "handful").
 
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