When Women defend you more than men & Social Circles in General

[HaleyBaron]

I figure we can have a little discussion of something that does happen. Primarily, it happens with me.

Normally, you expect men to come to defend you when something goes wrong or someone goes after you with drama or some kind of social attack. However, I have women who come bat for me when stuff is going down in the social circles. That does not mean all the women are always with me, but typically if a man or a woman are coming after me, I find it surprising the women who come to me and say they are on my side. Though they never make it public. I still think the men who defend me are usually more honorable about that and will speak it out more publicly.

What really gets me is how cowardly some of the men in the social circles are. They don't try to call out that someone else is wrong and they will sink anyone who is in trouble so to speak or even has a little bit of conflict just to save themselves from it. I suppose this is their way of keeping low and quiet and not rocking the boat so to speak. I have yet to decide if I should shame those guys, especially the ones who you thought were closer to you [leaving you to drown so to speak], or if I should just accept that they are playing the social circle game where they rather keep their toes out of any bad smells that may affect their reputation. Cause that is what it all feels like, a reputation or social status game.

I tend to zone out in social circles or do not take them seriously, so people who are more experienced in social circle interactions can chime in on what the dynamics are and why they happen that way. And why do the women come to me privately to defend me, when normally it would be against their interests to do so.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Men are in direct competition with each other for resources and other women. Only a fool would think men other than your qualified best bros are going to be on your side unless they stand to benefit from it.

 

[parabellum]

It’s a chess game against the world. Maybe not against your mother, father, children, but that’s about it.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I attribute this to men adopting female social tactics to solve modern disputes.
Men used to fight about things if the stakes were high enough, and if they weren't - they'd usually just let the topic go.

Now, social virtue (a female intrasexual competition trait) is being adopted by men. To be fair, many women will exclude men who don't have their same values/beliefs these days, but catering to women has never helped anyone - ever.

I did notice there's something very feminine about the men acting like that. I would expect the women to do that, which they do. But to see it from the men, like come the f*ck on. Grow some balls. So afraid of all the women around them in the circle.

 

[The Duke]

@HaleyBaron
I used to be a part of a social circle of singles that hung out in an area that had a big apartment complex , bars, restaurants all in one place. Some dated within the group. Most of them lived there and rarely went off site. Ended up being a similar deal.

I was never very well accepted by the men in the group except for the most masculine one. My buddy never was either. The main difference between us and the rest of the males was we got girls, and they didn't. These dudes were some of the weakest males I had been around. I'm covinced they saw us as a threat to their women even though most of them weren't getting laid, but like beta males they had high hopes. The girls always treated me nicely and invited me to their activities, but the guys were always standoff-ish little biatches. Their insecurities won't allow them to differentiate between an actual threat and their perceived threats.

Two of these guys ended up committing suicide. They had money, girl, drinking, and drug problems.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Normally, you expect men to come to defend you when something goes wrong or someone goes after you with drama or some kind of social attack"

Expect nothing out of anyone

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I never need much defending.

 

[HaleyBaron]

@HaleyBaron
I used to be a part of a social circle of singles that hung out in an area that had a big apartment complex , bars, restaurants all in one place. Some dated within the group. Most of them lived there and rarely went off site. Ended up being a similar deal.

I was never very well accepted by the men in the group except for the most masculine one. My buddy never was either. The main difference between us and the rest of the males was we got girls, and they didn't. These dudes were some of the weakest males I had been around. I'm covinced they saw us as a threat to their women even though most of them weren't getting laid, but like beta males they had high hopes. The girls always treated me nicely and invited me to their activities, but the guys were always standoff-ish little biatches. Their insecurities won't allow them to differentiate between an actual threat and their perceived threats.

Two of these guys ended up committing suicide. They had money, girl, drinking, and drug problems.

The irony is that some of these men in the group do have girlfriends. But you can tell also that they make sure they always appear agreeable to them. Whatever problems they may have with their girls internally, in the social group they never show it. Instead, they just go along with the majority or top thought.

I've been told before that it might be because I am a threat to the girls there considering I get along with a lot of them whatever social circle it is. I even got a couple of lays from that cause I would tend to be the most exciting one there. Which I am toning down because it is making it harder for the men to invite me to stuff cause of said threat.

"Normally, you expect men to come to defend you when something goes wrong or someone goes after you with drama or some kind of social attack"

Expect nothing out of anyone

The general consensus is true. Yet I never seen such feminine responses from the male group before. Not to this extreme. It's becoming way too constant. I guess feminism won.

 

[Macadellic]

When someone goes at you with drama or some kind of social attack and you entertain them with any kind of back and forth discussion then you are jumping into their frame.

I posted in another thread the following:
When they can’t control you they will attempt to control how others view you.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Women like you. Surely you don't need us to remind you.

 

[HaleyBaron]

When someone goes at you with drama or some kind of social attack and you entertain them with any kind of back and forth discussion then you are jumping into their frame.

I posted in another thread the following:
When they can’t control you they will attempt to control how others view you.

That attempt is aggravating. I already accepted it as simply being afraid to confront me directly but it can do some damage if not unchecked.

It's mostly my fault for not listening to @SW15 info on social circles.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

When someone goes at you with drama or some kind of social attack and you entertain them with any kind of back and forth discussion then you are jumping into their frame.

I posted in another thread the following:
When they can’t control you they will attempt to control how others view you.

Great observation

 

[SW15]

It's mostly my fault for not listening to @SW15 info on social circles.

In terms of my perspective on social circles, what do you find most valuable?

 

[HaleyBaron]

In terms of my perspective on social circles, what do you find most valuable?

Technically, I can't remember. I know you spoke a lot about them but I usually glanced past them cause I don't do social circle game. But there was likely wisdom there. To me, social circle is mostly for networking. I just happen to get flirted with a lot, and sometimes by gfs of the men there. Which causes trouble as you can tell.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I just happen to get flirted with a lot, and sometimes by gfs of the men there. Which causes trouble as you can tell.

I had that too and found that pretending not to notice worked best. The women would flirt even harder and the guys never seemed to notice.

 

[BadBoy89]

- Normally, you expect men to come to defend you when something goes wrong or someone goes after you with drama or some kind of social attack.
- What really gets me is how cowardly some of the men in the social circles are.

- I just happen to get flirted with a lot, and sometimes by gfs of the men there.
- I am a threat to the girls there considering I get along with a lot of them whatever social circle it is. I even got a couple of lays from that cause I would tend to be the most exciting one there.

Come on bro, that's like saying: "If I knew buying the Ritz Carleton Hotel in all cash was so much work, I wouldn't have bought it"

 

[HaleyBaron]

I had that too and found that pretending not to notice worked best. The women would flirt even harder and the guys never seemed to notice.

It was the opposite for me. Ignoring them only made it worse, which the men did notice.

Come on bro, that's like saying: "If I knew buying the Ritz Carleton Hotel in all cash was so much work, I wouldn't have bought it"

It's moreso juggling the fact that maybe it's not something so petty. Benefit of the doubt.

 

[SW15]

Technically, I can't remember. I know you spoke a lot about them but I usually glanced past them cause I don't do social circle game. But there was likely wisdom there. To me, social circle is mostly for networking. I just happen to get flirted with a lot, and sometimes by gfs of the men there. Which causes trouble as you can tell.

I can see how that would cause trouble for you. Social circles (most are blue pill in their thoughts about romantic relationships) tend to get pissed at men who are serial monogamists or casual sex players. It's possible to get away with a couple of instances of serial monogamy. Beyond that, you have poisoned the well.

Social circle introductions are good for longer term relationships and getting a longer term girlfriend with a little bit less frustration. If a man has different goals than that, then other methods will be better.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I can see how that would cause trouble for you. Social circles (most are blue pill in their thoughts about romantic relationships) tend to get pissed at men who are serial monogamists or casual sex players. It's possible to get away with a couple of instances of serial monogamy. Beyond that, you have poisoned the well.

Social circle introductions are good for longer term relationships and getting a longer term girlfriend with a little bit less frustration. If a man has different goals than that, then other methods will be better.

Hard to do that when I'm always the life of the group, even without trying.

 

[Macadellic]

but it can do some damage if not unchecked.

At a previous employer there was the worst human I have ever met and worked with. She did everything in an attempt to “ruin” me.

I stayed focused on my work never played her game and I surpassed her. I eventually stood triumphant as she lost her supervisor status.

Everyone in the office saw that I wasn’t was she said and it was a great feeling.