When u feel she is cheating on you, a real high feeling (help please)

[sixtyfwee]

Experience suggests that if you 'feel' che is cheating, you have already lost your control of the situation. You have two choices, completly next her, or regain control.

I would next her. If you want to regain control (which may not be possible) I suggest giving her the gift of missing you. In addition you are 'on a break', go get other women, this will avoid the fatal flesh eating disease that is oneitis.

 

[sexual_intellectual]

People have made good points, you do come across immature, and maybe you've not dealt with this fantastically so far, but here's what I suggest:

Tell her you feel that she's sometimes dishonest with you. Have at least three fairly recent examples. Tell her you need to be able to trust her. Forgive and forget all her past dishonesty, but make it clear that if she lies to you again, you're out of the door.

If you catch her lying to you, you leave. No ifs, no buts.

She might be cheating on you, or she might be going through some stuff. I thought my ex was cheating on me, but now I know why she was lying and acting up - her mother had cancer. She should have told me she was going through something serious, even if she didn't tell me what it was. But I still feel like I let her down, which is a shame, cos I really cared about her.

Give her a last chance to do you right. If she can't/won't, then she isn't worthy of your love.

 

[Blackstar]

wait we got another one!!

Last night while talking with her about all this another lie came out! She confessed to me that she hasnt had the 3 sex partners in the past that she told me she did but she has had 5!
She said that she was scare that if she told me that i was gonna get real mad and leave her.

What do i do now? i was still gonna do what the previous post said, give her that last chance.




hehe and she told me that one of them was real big so that plus the other 4 explains why the p takes 4 easily, but believe me yall she is in love with me i can just feel it and know it, even other people have told me that the girl really loves me.

 

[Nine Breaker]

Blackstar, I am just curious about something here. Even if you discovered that your girlfriend was cheating on you, that she came right out and confessed it to your face, would you have enough strength and self confidence to actually break up with a woman that claims to love you?

I ask this because I get a very strong impression (as I am sure that most others here have) that you have gone from initially being concerned about being cheated on, all the way to defending the very arguements you used to say she was cheating on you.

Let's look at the evidence. We start off with these quotes:

Well now she is acting very suspicious yesterday while having sex all my 4 fingers fitted in her and her vagina was loser than other times (we did not have sex in one week) i asked her she said that she is not cheating on me/having sex with noone else (duhh she aint gonna tell me she is) but she is just acting very ver suspicious.

and i started to realize all this little things that she tells me make no sesne, like ill ask her something now, and then ill ask her again a couple days from now and itll be a totally different story, she lies to me a lot and i just cant help it but to think that she is cheating, i got a real really really high feeling that she is.

she texted me back saying " if u want to have ur space i will grant ur wish i still love u i will not hold that against us"
So she basicly coulkd careless about being with me or not .
See thats what im talking about....

But later on in this thread, me thinks that true colours come out...

messed up aint it.... but i dont wanna break up with her just like that, i know that she loves me for a fact, believe me, i need a good reason to break up with her, not a 4 finger reason.

...one of them was real big so that plus the other 4 explains why the p takes 4 easily, but believe me yall she is in love with me i can just feel it and know it, even other people have told me that the girl really loves me.

She confessed to me that she hasnt had the 3 sex partners in the past that she told me she did but she has had 5!
She said that she was scare that if she told me that i was gonna get real mad and leave her.
What do i do now? i was still gonna do what the previous post said, give her that last chance.

I think this has more than made my point. Whether or not she is cheating on you, or even being deceitful to you (as you have admitted to us), will not necessarily mean the dissolution of your relationship, as long as there is love between both of you.

I don't know if you have heard this yet, but what I just said in the last paragraph is one of the defining characteristics of an Average Frustrated Chump. I do not mean this in a hurtful way, but what you are doing to yourself goes against one of the general principles that this website is trying to show to you - that real men must be able to see the truth in a woman's actions, not her words.

If you're still uncertain, than try this shortened arguement:
Liars only lie when they do not want you to know the truth, as knowing the truth will likely jeapordise things between you.

But, hey, if there is one thing I have learnt over the years, it's that people are very hard to convince out of their chosen ways, even if they are technically wrong. Hence, I will give you one more tip, based on this concept of LOVE that constrains you to this woman...

Ask her what the word LOVE means. Simple as that.

If she replies that it means she would gladly die in order to save your life without a second thought, she will happily bend over backwards (in more ways than one) to please you, and to put your needs above her own, then you MIGHT consider giving her another chance. Basically, anything that puts you above her is indicative of this case.

If she gives a response like she really cares for you, she'll let you put "it" anywhere, or any other wishy-washy BS like that, then what you think is "love" is nothing more than a short-term infatuation at the very best. Oh, and "you cannot describe an emotion like love with words" also falls into this category in case you were wondering.

Finally, let me remind you that ACTIONS speak louder than words. You should not have to ask a woman that above question in order to know where she stands on things - whether it is by your side, or on your balls.

You already know the answer to what you have to do now. The problem here is simply that you cannot seem to go through with it. It really falls down to you alone now as to what happens next. Either you will grow up, become a man, and stand up for YOUrself - or you should go down to the local sporting goods store and buy yourself a cup if you're going to let that woman keep on standing where she is now...

It's your call, so make it good.

 

[Climax]

My input...

Blackstar said:

Last night while talking with her about all this another lie came out! She confessed to me that she hasnt had the 3 sex partners in the past that she told me she did but she has had 5!

Well if she was hiding something like THAT from you, that just gets me to wonder what ELSE she is NOT telling you or HIDING from you This kind of woman is NOT the kind that is trustworthy!

Blackstar said:

She said that she was scare that if she told me that i was gonna get real mad and leave her.

You need to learn one thing about ALL women... They will ALWAYS have excuses for their mistakes! This is one of the things that really gets to me about women, is that they will hardy EVER admitt to being in the wrong, and when they DO do something wrong they will either give you a sleezy excuse, lie to you, or try turn the situation around and find out how to put the blame on you somehow.

And by her saying "if u want to have ur space i will grant ur wish i still love u i will not hold that against us" this tells me that she doesnt love you, because is she really DID love you, she would fight for you, i bet she never even shed a tear when she wrote that to you. Girls can be very fake sometimes, they will act all lovey dovey towards you and tell you that they love you, but inside they are just HANGING onto you untill they come across a "better" guy and thats when they will tell you to kindly "F*ckoff"... You need to make her PROVE her love to you, because untill now for all you know she is just pulling of 1 big act and taking you for a fool.

If this girl realy IS genuine and really DOES love you, then she REALLY has a wierd way of showing it and/or fighting for you when u suggest that u should seperate. I'm saying this because I have been in a relationship with a girl for the past 2 months or so, and we have had our fights here and there, but there was once or twice where i suggested that maybe the 2 of us just werent gonna work and should move on... Now if it was your girl she would just text you some B.S like she did.... but in a case where the girl really loves you (my case) she would sms (text) you about how much you mean to her, she phone phone u (wasting all her airtime) crying and convincing you that what the 2 of you have is too special to loose and that she really does love you with all her heart, etc... till you actually realise that you were just pissed off about something and that u really DONT want to throw the relationship away. Now look at the difference between MY girl, and YOUR girl... wouldnt u want your girl to act like my 1 did? well if your answer to that is yes, then i suggest that you find yourself a girl that trully loves you, and that will give you her FULL heart, not just a small portion of it.


Blackstar said:

What do i do now? i was still gonna do what the previous post said, give her that last chance.

Well if you really are still convinced that this girl loves you and that your relationship WILL work, the fine, give her a last chance, you dont have THAT much to loose, except for precious time, so DONT WASTE IT!

Blackstar said:

hehe and she told me that one of them was real big so that plus the other 4 explains why the p takes 4 easily,

wait... But then howcome the times BEFORE when u had sex with her her p was normall (tighter)... if the last guy was "big" or wateva that shouldnt make a difference, unless she is cheating on you, no? I mean... From the time before when u had sex with her and her p was "normall" and THIS time when her p was "loose", were you not the ONLY man she had sex with? *sigh*

Blackstar said:

believe me yall she is in love with me i can just feel it and know it

How do you want us to believe you that she loves you when u dont know yourself? Just look at all the things pointing to the fact that she DOESNT really love you... she might like you or be attracted to you, or maybe even infatuaded with you... but love in her case is FAR from the correct term to use for how she feels about you. Well, thats at least what I think. I am not saying that she wont come to love you in the future, but all i am saying is that at this moment she does NOT love you, and cannot be trusted either.


Blackstar said:

even other people have told me that the girl really loves me.

And HOW exactly do others know this? if anyone should know, its YOU, NOT others! Just because she might speak about you to them doesnt mean that she loves you at all... she might like you alot, but judging by her behaviour and her responces (eg: the text msg) i very much dought that she loves you.

Overall... this girl is keeping things from you, is lying to you, and like you said YOURSELF, she doesnt really care if it ends or not.... I would quote some of the other stuff that would help backup my arguement, but Nine Breaker has beat me to it, so look back at all the things that he quoted if you are not convinced yet.

Nine Breaker said:

Ask her what the word LOVE means. Simple as that.

If she replies that it means she would gladly die in order to save your life without a second thought, she will happily bend over backwards (in more ways than one) to please you, and to put your needs above her own, then you MIGHT consider giving her another chance. Basically, anything that puts you above her is indicative of this case.

If she gives a response like she really cares for you, she'll let you put "it" anywhere, or any other wishy-washy BS like that, then what you think is "love" is nothing more than a short-term infatuation at the very best. Oh, and "you cannot describe an emotion like love with words" also falls into this category in case you were wondering.

I agree with this.... I think that you should start pulling little "tests" on her to try get the REAL truth out out, and maybe catch her out on another lie or something that she is hiding from you. Just by asking her wont work because she will always have some sort of excuse to throw back at you.

Nine Breaker said:

Finally, let me remind you that ACTIONS speak louder than words. You should not have to ask a woman that above question in order to know where she stands on things - whether it is by your side, or on your balls.

This is also very true... you should have enough trust in the relationship for her to just be truthfull with you WITHOUT u having to ask her etc... I mean... if you never said anything about her p being loose etc, do u think that she would of told you about the fact that she was with 5 and not 3 guys? NO! That would of still been her secret, amongst many other "secrets" which she probably has and is CHOOSING not to share with you.

I think you need to sit her down, have a nice LOOOONG chat with her about EVERYTHING and get EVERYTHING out of her and then tell her that if you ever find out that she is keeping ANYTHING from you, then u will end it right there and then. So giving her that "1 last chance"" is OK i guess, but as long as u make sure that its a LAST chance.

Well, i think i have said what i wanted to say, so i hope that u make the right decision and NOT be blinded by what others say or what SHE sais for that matter... like Nine Breaker said... "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS" ...

Goodluck

 

[Blackstar]

dam.... thanx to the 2 people who took some of their time off just to answer to my thread, i appreciate that, it has really really helped me along with the rest of the posters, and yes, yes inlcuding u PRL.

ima ask her what love means... wait a min...

 

[Blackstar]

here is what she said :

" Love is an affection it comes from the heart its not just a feeling but a warm attachment"

what yall think...

I think she passed.

 

[golf299]

sounds like she hijacked that definition to me

 

[Climax]

To sum it all up...

Originally posted by Blackstar
here is what she said :

" Love is an affection it comes from the heart its not just a feeling but a warm attachment"

what yall think...

I think she passed.

Hey Blackstar....

Overall what i think of this girl is that she DOES like you alot, but does not LOVE you yet. I also think that she isnt too experianced with love so that makes her unable to "make the right decisions" at times Eg: when she thought that you would leave her because she was with 5 guys and NOT 3... But i think that within time she can be "fixed" and that your relationship could work out. Now in order for this to happen you are going to have to put up with alot of "mistakes" on her side and you are going to have to be really understanding of her, until she gets to a point where she wont be making any mistakes, or should i say HARDLY any (no-one is perfect)... but this WILL be a long process.

You need to sit her down and ask her to tell you everything despite how she thinks that you will react.. just tel her that you dont want her to hide ANYTHING from you, just like you dont hide anything from her.

Well... all i can say is that if u DO decide to stay with this girl, then goodluck, and DONT expect it to be a smooth ride, but if you really like her, then i say go for it and give her another chance

Goodluck... with whatever you do!

Laterz...

 

[Longview]

how about.....

break up with her, carry on ****ing her and look for someone else at the same time

worked for me

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

For humanity sakes DON'T fall in love with a hor!!!!! Why you young bastards get so emotional over a vagina is beyond me!!

It doesn't matter how many guys "your girl" received the sperm of other men - 1,3, 5, 7 ,11, 13 (hey, these are all prime numbers) - a hor is a hor is a hor - you are no one special and why you bring "love" into the eqaution is sillly - hors don't know what "love" is so don't ask - they give you an answer that you want to hear!!!!

Treat a hor like a hor and give her the respect that a hor deserves - NEVER be loyal to a hor!!!! You owe her NOTHING, NADA, ZERO!!!! Quit acting like she deserves a honorable exit - liars deserve and have no honor - don't be a chump!!

Read the thread "Knock it off!!!!!!!!!!" if you want to know what a "hor" is - it (the convo) begins on page 2/3!

 

[Blackstar]

its messd up though, why she gotta be a ho? it aint like she fuked them in no relationship... i mean come on now, she is not cheating on me thats out of the equation.

She just keeps on holding back and not giving her all, you know, like she doesnt want to show me how much she likes me , and she is not open and honest all the time, thats what bothers me, nothing else.