When to say...I love you

[white cloud 8]

Hi,

I have been going out with this girl for roughly a little over two months, and we actually became bf & gf two weeks ago. She left on the 9th of this month for Europe, and will be gone for another 59 days. We email each other almost everyday (talk on the phone once in a while), she shares how she feels about me (of how she misses me); and I share a little of what I miss about her. I do have feelings for this girl, should I express them with 'I love you' or is it too soon? For those that are more *EXPERIENCED* with relationships, what are your thoughts?


-thanks

 

[Charm&Style]

Bro 2 months...u kiddin me? Its way to soon for that "i love you" crap. From my experience with a relationship i had with my ex whose now one of my best friends the first time the i love you stuff happened was when we were both sexualy and mentaly aroused.

We've all heard the phrase "i love you" repeated over and over to us so we are IMUNE to it. But when your in the mood i love you sets in and works its magic.

Your doing good right now. Keep on building the relationship. Try to show your love by actions when you 2 are together.

Ive personally think showing how much you love someone is wayyyyy more appealing to your partner. BUT sometimes they want to hear you say it. Those are the times when you work your magic and get both of you into that SENSHUAL STAGE lol.

Just make sure your relationship doesnt end up into a puppy love bs.

 

[DJDamage]

So let me get this stright: You went out with her for only 2 months then agreed to be her boyfriend knowing fully well that she will be gone for another 2 months which essentially restricted your options to be involved with other women and instead continued this "relationship" over the phone/email and now you want to know if you should say "I love you"???

Saying I love you is the least of your worries, you are failing to see the big picture.

 

[white cloud 8]

So let me get this stright: You went out with her for only 2 months then agreed to be her boyfriend knowing fully well that she will be gone for another 2 months which essentially restricted your options to be involved with other women and instead continued this "relationship" over the phone/email and now you want to know if you should say "I love you"???

Saying I love you is the least of your worries, you are failing to see the big picture.

I know that I want to be with her, and that I care for her. When I think about it, I don't think any other girls that I know (whom I would want to date) would make me as happy.

 

[white cloud 8]

Bro 2 months...u kiddin me? Its way to soon for that "i love you" crap. From my experience with a relationship i had with my ex whose now one of my best friends the first time the i love you stuff happened was when we were both sexualy and mentaly aroused.

We've all heard the phrase "i love you" repeated over and over to us so we are IMUNE to it. But when your in the mood i love you sets in and works its magic.

Your doing good right now. Keep on building the relationship. Try to show your love by actions when you 2 are together.

Ive personally think showing how much you love someone is wayyyyy more appealing to your partner. BUT sometimes they want to hear you say it. Those are the times when you work your magic and get both of you into that SENSHUAL STAGE lol.

Just make sure your relationship doesnt end up into a puppy love bs.

Thanks for the advice. To be honest this is my first 'real' relationship, and I am finding it special. I do see that actions speak louder than words (expressing how I feel physically e.g. kissing) and occasionally when the timing is right, 'I love you'.

 

[Warboss Alex]

The timing is right when you think it's right.

If the girl feels the same then it doesn't matter when you say it... there is no right or wrong time.

 

[DJDamage]

I know that I want to be with her, and that I care for her.

Ohhh puppy love coochi coochi coo........ SNAP OUT OF IT! here is a reality check: You want to be with her because you want to fvck her, you wouldn't care about her if you couldn't fvck her.

When I think about it, I don't think any other girls that I know (whom I would want to date) would make me as happy.

Here is your problem right there. You are looking at the girls you know which compromise of a very small pool, rather then going out there to the big sea and finding girls you don't know.

You know this chick for only 2 months!! you hardly know anything about her and yet you are as happy as a pig laying in his own filth. You have alot to learn about life, relationships and yourself.

To be honest this is my first 'real' relationship, and I am finding it special. I do see that actions speak louder than words (expressing how I feel physically e.g. kissing) and occasionally when the timing is right, 'I love you'.

This is your first real relationship and you already have oneitis for this this girl whom you barley know. Please tell me that you at least fvcked her before she left.

 

[white cloud 8]

This is your first real relationship and you already have oneitis for this this girl whom you barley know. Please tell me that you at least fvcked her before she left.

Yes, quite a few times.

 

[Warboss Alex]

This is your first real relationship and you already have oneitis for this this girl whom you barley know. Please tell me that you at least fvcked her before she left.

wait, so we have to fvck girls before we can like them? hmmmmmmmmmmm.

 

[Trapper]

when she is coming back? go to airport pick her up and give her some gift... write some note and put into it... i guess much more powerfull way...what do u think?

 

[DJDamage]

wait, so we have to fvck girls before we can like them? hmmmmmmmmmmm.

No, but if you go 2 months without fvcking her and then she goes off to europe for 2 months, its a safe bet that you would never fvck her.

At least the kid did something right.

 

[Delta]

The timing is right when you think it's right.

considering it's his first real relationship and his sense of proportion may not be as well calibrated as others, is this really valid?

some desperate people may be ready to say this the moment they have their first fvck....

delta

 

[bigneil]

(When do I say I love you?)

2 days after they say it, if you mean it.

 

[Doc Dogg]

I do have feelings for this girl, should I express them with 'I love you' or is it too soon?

I've always been of the "they are only meaningless words" school of thought with telling someone you love them, I prefer actions myself. My last LTR I didn't tell her I loved her until the 3rd year of our relationship and even then it was only because she finally agreed to let me do her in the butt

If you are going to tell her you "love" her, do it in person when she comes back, preferably after you have had sex and you are just cuddling on the kitchen floor in a puddle of whipped cream and chocolate sauce.

If you want to tell her something in an email or over the phone just describe how she makes you feel, I use stuff like "I'm sitting here just thinking about you, the way you smell like coconut and the taste of your strawberry lip balm when I'm kissing your soft lips" or something like "the day went sooo slow today because I was counting down the hours till I could hear your pretty voice"

I pretty much say things that I like to here when a girl calls me. I get bored when they tell me over and over again that they love me, I would rather hear something ineresting like WHY...so I can continue to do those things with other girls:yes:

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Never do it

Telling a girl you love her does not make her love you back. In fact, the odds are it will just turn her off more than anything.

There are a million guys right now crying "But I love you" to some girl who doesn't like them back and it will not make one bit of difference to the girl. I love you is meaningless to women and it is most often detrimental.

There are also a million 70 year old men who have never said those words to their wife yet the wife still loves them and will do anything for them and have been with them for 50 years.

You don't need to say it at all.

Maybe after you've been with her for 6 months and she has said it 10 times to you already. You only do it in this case as a little reassurance to her when you sense she wants to hear it or she will walk.

Saying I love you too soon is the kiss of death. Chicks say they want to hear it all the time, but the truth is, when they do hear it too soon, they get a deep sinking feeling of semi-disgust and it turns them off.

You're better off never saying until you really really need to.

 

[Charm&Style]

Ohhh puppy love coochi coochi coo........ SNAP OUT OF IT! here is a reality check: You want to be with her because you want to fvck her, you wouldn't care about her if you couldn't fvck her.



Here is your problem right there. You are looking at the girls you know which compromise of a very small pool, rather then going out there to the big sea and finding girls you don't know.

You know this chick for only 2 months!! you hardly know anything about her and yet you are as happy as a pig laying in his own filth. You have alot to learn about life, relationships and yourself.



This is your first real relationship and you already have oneitis for this this girl whom you barley know. Please tell me that you at least fvcked her before she left.

wtf is up with some ppl on this forum who think guys are only with girls for the fvcking. Whoever thinks like this is a complete douchebagg. And for those who are asking advice about the relationship that YOU ARE ALREADY IN, dont listen to these guys. They walk around with the d!ck in their hand.

Anyways most of us on here will eventualy want to be with a girl and retire our jersey. So plz stfu with your lame a$s tips such as "you have oneitis, you just want her for the fvcking, you suck, shes prbly with some other guy." Tanx :box:

 

[KillaCam]

Ohhh puppy love coochi coochi coo........ SNAP OUT OF IT! here is a reality check: You want to be with her because you want to fvck her, you wouldn't care about her if you couldn't fvck her.

Hey DJD. Usually, I agree 100% with what you say, but, to me, that was way off base buddy.

Since when is your d1ck more important than your head? Or your heart? Is thinking with reason beyond sex just completely foreign to some? Or is it not in the "Let's sleep around because that's all that matters" handbook?

Perhaps that sentence was aimed just at this particular poster and his ordeal. Hell, I'm with you on the puppy love bit, 2 months shouldn't constitute anything near love. But there is more to life than getting your end off.

I don't know. One gets the feeling that a few people on this board are actually sh1t scared of anything more than sex. People seem to be avoiding feelings like it's the fvcking plague or something.

I'm not implicating you in that entire sentence above DJD, you're a quality poster, it's just a trend i'm just starting to notice. Avoiding feelings for the sake of avoiding them, or just not having enough guts to handle them.

 

[Warboss Alex]

considering it's his first real relationship and his sense of proportion may not be as well calibrated as others, is this really valid?

some desperate people may be ready to say this the moment they have their first fvck....

delta

if that is the case, they'll learn from their mistake.. lol.

proportion is all relative though. take two ten year olds and 'puppy love' saying I love you to each other, everyone else knows it's nothing but to them it's a big deal right? same here..

if you love a girl and want to tell her that, do it. if she loves you too, everything will be fine. if she doesn't, well, better her next you than you trailing after her like a lovesick puppy when the feeling isn't returned.. always be honest and open, don't have any doubts because then your mind is full of "What if"s and "would she/he"s and all that, and that could kill a romance before it even begins. and why have one-sided love?

so don't think, just do. if it feels right, it's right.

 

[DJDamage]

Since when is your d1ck more important than your head? Or your heart? Is thinking with reason beyond sex just completely foreign to some? Or is it not in the "Let's sleep around because that's all that matters" handbook?

Perhaps that sentence was aimed just at this particular poster and his ordeal. Hell, I'm with you on the puppy love bit, 2 months shouldn't constitute anything near love. But there is more to life than getting your end off.

My comment was to that particular poster. After 2 months this guy has already oneitis to a girl who has yet to prove herself to be worthy of his full time attention. Based on his rather low experiences with relationship with women and the way he feels, he is headed to nothing but misery. At 21 years of age he should be having fun and not thinking about LTR's. He is closing himself up to new experiences that would have served him well in the future which would prevent his future girlfriend/wife from dominating the relationship dismissing him after he hands her his balls. What I try to instill in him is to never be in that position because he should never hand someone their balls.

I don't know. One gets the feeling that a few people on this board are actually sh1t scared of anything more than sex. People seem to be avoiding feelings like it's the fvcking plague or something..

People should protect their heart very early on instead of running with fantasy in their heads. Granted if this chick has proven herself over the course of time to be worthy of his full time attention then there is no need to protect or hide his feelings. So far he's got a girl who he knows for a very short period time who happens to go to Europe for 2 months!. In my book that is not a good start for LTR and love feelings. Instead of going out with other women in the meantime he continue's with this infatuation over her with emails/and phone calls which only increases his oneitis for her without her actualy being physically there and making him happy (Part of any good relationship is a healthy sex life). If he had known her for 6 or more months and all this time she didn't give him a hard time then I have no problem if she has to take a 2 months trip to europe.

I'm not implicating you in that entire sentence above DJD, you're a quality poster, it's just a trend i'm just starting to notice. Avoiding feelings for the sake of avoiding them, or just not having enough guts to handle them.

Guts has nothing to do with it. If I told you to jump headfirst into an empty swimming pool, you would not be gutless for not doing so, you will be smart. You will also be much smarter to say that you will only do so when you know that there is enough water in that pool. So far what this guy has is 2 feet of water which is not enough to stop his head from cracking open after he bounces off the floor.

 

[KillaCam]

DJD, don't give me an essay. Like I said, if it was aimed at the poster directly, then I agree with most of what you have said. So that's already negated 2/3's of your reply, because I don't disagree with it one bit. You're spot on the money for 98% of that post, except for this line, which i've already noted my disagreement with :

"You want to be with her because you want to fvck her, you wouldn't care about her if you couldn't fvck her."

Justify that sentence for me. I'm not going to go into my rant again, I don't feel like repeating myself. But I stick to where I stand, and I think this comment was off base by a long way. It's not on the topic of love, or one-itis, or anything around that, it's a mere shot that points out how fvcking is supposedly the centrepiece of what constitutes anything substantial between a man and a woman.

Again, it was a rant more than anything, I tried to keep excess links between my rant and you away, because again, like I said, you're not implicated in it entirely. That line just set my train of thinking off. It's a trend i'm noticing, so it doesn't need an analogy to try and relate back to the original poster, when the guts of my reply wasn't directly involving him.

Guts has a lot to do with life. Without it you wouldn't do half the things you do. Yeah, using your head is the ultimate resource, but using your balls has a huge impact on things as well. When someone doesn't have the guts to face up to feelings, can you say that they aren't affecting the situation? No, they play a part. Just like everything influences situations, whether it is guts or smarts.

Take most of what I said on face value, trying to relate everything back to the original posters problems just make it's confusing and draws away from part of it's purpose in the first place.

I should have made it clearer. And a few of my first assumptions were a bit off, I apoligise there.