When to next your girl? What are the limits!

[choychoy12]

Just a query.
What are the limits? What can you tolerate before it is time to next her!.

e.g. If your in a relationship with a girl. I guess depending on the length 2months, 4 months to a yr.

Is it acceptable when your girl, see's other guys, just as friends?

Is it acceptable if your girl touches other guys in a friendly way?

Is it acceptable for your girl to sit on other guys?

Is it acceptable for your girl to hug other guys in front of you?

Is it acceptable for your girl to get drunk and do stupid things, with other guys? Even if she is drunk.

For me personally.
Its not acceptable for my girl to be spending countless amount of time with another guy, when i'm not there.

And its not acceptable for my girl, to be disrespecting me by being flakey on dates or cancelling a date to see a male friend.

If she did so, it would be my time to speak out! And let her know i dont like it.. and if she continued. to next her!

Please put add your comments. On what you believe to be acceptable and what your limit is to nexting a girl.

 

[tx_interface]

Are you looking for a checklist or something?
I'll contribute the first one. If your girl is sucking the **** of one male friend and getting double penetrated by two more male friends, and getting urinated on by another male friend, Next her.

 

[Qmanchoo]

Put it this way.

If you're girl respects you, _really_ wants to be with you, and she's someone worthwhile....she wont do ANYTHING with other guys (outside of MAYBE talking to them) for fear of messing up what she has with you. And if she DOES do something with another guy she feels terrible about it and lets you know in some way.

So make your OWN standards from that perspective based on what you want. Something seroius? Sex on the side?

 

[choychoy12]

I want something serious.

Though this is how my girl used to always be like, before she was with me. So its hard to change her habits.

She knows what bothers me, but she just says i'm to paranoid and to her.. Its absolutely nothing.

So i dunno whether to over look it, because this is how she's always been.

Or to call her out on it, and let her know it bothers me, and if she likes me enough she wont ever do it agian. .And if she does i wil lnext her..

 

[Mister Big]

If you are doing the DJ thing correctly, you should have generated significant interest level in and achieved high value with your woman. She is acting on her very best behavior with you initially and this tapers off a bit over time. If you see behavior that seems out of character, but she is comfortable with herself even at the moment, assume this is the REAL her.

Unless she is on the rag or has a real good reason, her behavior has tripped over negative qualifiers. The ones you listed seem to be important to you or you wouldn't have mentioned them. You must NEXT her despite your feelings so as not to compromise yourself. Compromising your values is pure AFC.

Some examples of neg qualifiers that I recognize include:
bad relationships and lack of communication with family
using guilt to motivate behavior in others
strong repetitive moodiness for no apparent reason
awkward about money where I am expected to pay all the time
not healthy and gains weight easily

You don't have to settle for a bytch. Get more than one so NEXTing any one doesn't have as much of an impact. You can always have your favorite, but you should wait a long time before a LTR to shake out any hidden behaviors.

 

[alldidas]

Next time she does it to you just don't call her. You got to condition her so when she does something good reward her if not don't give her attention. Actions speak louder than words.

"Are you going to give a dog a treat for sh*tting on the rug?"
"Watch out for AW's, the silent ones are the most deadly."

 

[Eternal]

Hmm...So you are saying your girl can't hug one of her best guy friends? Can't tease them (verbally?) Can't do stuff she used to do before you got with her?

I think that is a bit insecure. There is this thing called "trust." Use it. If you trust your girl, let her be herself. If she crosses the line though, she's ditched.

Remember...Because YOU are supposed to be the catch, she'll make extra careful not to screw up, because losing you would be the worst thing for her (right Fist?)

 

[gimmeyofonenumba]

i dont agre with interface

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by choychoy12
Just a query.
What are the limits? What can you tolerate before it is time to next her!.

e.g. If your in a relationship with a girl. I guess depending on the length 2months, 4 months to a yr.

Is it acceptable when your girl, see's other guys, just as friends?

Is it acceptable if your girl touches other guys in a friendly way?

Is it acceptable for your girl to sit on other guys?

Is it acceptable for your girl to hug other guys in front of you?

Is it acceptable for your girl to get drunk and do stupid things, with other guys? Even if she is drunk.

For me personally.
Its not acceptable for my girl to be spending countless amount of time with another guy, when i'm not there.

And its not acceptable for my girl, to be disrespecting me by being flakey on dates or cancelling a date to see a male friend.

If she did so, it would be my time to speak out! And let her know i dont like it.. and if she continued. to next her!

Please put add your comments. On what you believe to be acceptable and what your limit is to nexting a girl.

If i know a girl and have been friends with a girl it is ridiculous for some dude to show up and start dating her and expect her not to hang out with me anymore.

I'm actually thinking of one girl in particular who is going with me to help me pick out a cat on saturday. I haven't seen her in like 2 months and since then she's been seeing a new guy adn the thought occurred to me "what would he think about me hanging out with her that day?" And the thing is... why should i care? I have no plans or desires to do anything but hang out with her cause i've known and talked to her for a year way before he came along.

Now if she was cancelling plans with him to come hang out with me then something is weird. Touching me excessively would be wrong, but girls typically are touchy feely so a little bit shouldn't be a concern. Sitting on my lap would probably be wrong. That just seems too intimate to me.



p.s. no jokes about me getting a cat =p

 

[djbr]

The limits are the ones you set. Anything you want can be a good reason for nexting some girl. After all, it's you and her. If you're not satisfied about anything, do it.

There's no such thing as universal approval for nexting. In fact, people usually blame you and discredit your decision. But remember always you can next for any reason you want.

I like to remember that no amount of talking is going to make up for any attitude that the other person is taking. If the person is doing anything, it has a reason. And hours of talking can't change that.

I, for example, think that if my girl is touching other guys a lot, is IS a good reason for nexting. Like I said, this is not something that can be talked (like: hey, stop doing it). My last girl kinoed her ex in front of me and I nexted her the day after. I felt very bad, so I decided to do it. I had two options:
1) have the balls to endure it WITHOUT being affected (ok, I'm not there, so that's not an option for me). -- That's why I'm out of LTRs for now, I want to be prepared for anything.
2) nexting, because in that moment she had just found a button that she would use anytime she wanted to get me upset. -- I don't want that to, so I did what I did.

Extreme? Maybe. But I want to be happy in my own terms. If they're not my terms, I'll not be happy. Takes longer for sure, but I'll be there. Guaranteed.

Besides, if a girl starts putting out a lot of BS like this, you better know that you have issues to deal with. Usually, if a girl knows that you have your shyt together, she will NOT give you any reasons to next her. If she does, it's because she wasn't supposed to be with you in the first place.

 

[djbr]

Bottom line is: you can't just pretend you're not annoyed with anything bad she does. You have to sincerely don't give a fukk.

That's the diference. Girls sense it, and respect you more if you really don't bother. Pretending that you don't is better than getting upset, but doesn't solve the problem because it's too much work for you.