Originally posted by krd:
I'm probably one of those guys who says he's looking for the right person, but that's only because I was brought up with a conscience and some morals. I'm also very leary of all the diseases out there I can catch, plus I was the result of an unplanned teenage pregnancy and I know what the consequences could be. That doesn't mean I wouldn't love to have a bunch of ladies wanting to sleep with me. That would be a much needed boost to my ego. I can't even imagine how great that would be! It's hard when guys are often judged by their ability to get women and I don't know if I am even desirable to one of them.
I'm not attracted to a girl because she's *****y. That doesn't factor into my criteria for choosing a woman. What attracts me initially to a woman is how hot she is. I know this might sound shallow, but I'm just being honest. Having a difficult personality won't help her chances with me at all. As a matter of fact, the nicer and more genuine a person she is, the better.
Now Wyldfire, I know you say you have very little tolerance for a man who plays games, but it also sounds to me like you have a lot of baggage. You're heart has been dragged through the mud many times and you're simply just tired of it. But think of the way you were at 18 years old, when you're experiences with the opposite sex were still few. What kind of person was this guy you married at such a young age? What were the reasons you were attracted to him? Of course both of you were probably too young and immature to be married at that point to begin with. But something tells me he wasn't necessarily the nicest of guys, otherwise, you'd still be with him. The point that I'm trying to make is what initially attracts a woman to a man is that element of challenge where she's got to work to keep him. Once women have been through the emotional ringer a few times and learned from their mistakes will they opt for a nice, honest guy. It's unfortunate that women have to go through that to realize this, but experience is always the best teacher.
Although I do agree with you that men and women are the same in a lot of ways. Sometimes I suspect that a lot of the DJ rules on this site are things that women already know about. The whole idea that a women is not interested if she tells you she's busy or doesn't give you an answer right off the bat is a little one-sided. How do we know that they are not just playing the same game of being a challenge that we guys are?
[This message has been edited by krd (edited 11-17-2001).]
I have already told the story of my early marriage. I'll give you a very brief recap. I was 18, he was 24. I was the youngest of 4 daughters and the last one left at home...just graduated from HS. There was a tremendous amount of pressure put on me by my father to marry this man. I didn't know what the tell tale signs of abuse were. Had I known, or had enough experience to see them, I would have done things much differently. Those jerks do show signs early on, but they really aren't obvious. If you have no experience you just don't see them as easily. Hindsight is 20/20.
Do I have "baggage"...of course I do, just like every person on here. Have I let my past experiences prevent me from having a healthy relationship? Absolutely not. I'm not bitter, I don't hate men, I trust quite easily, I'm not jealous at all, I don't play guilt, I'm not an emotional terrorist, I don't play silly @ss games. In my opinion, there are two kinds of baggage. There is the kind that is filled with unresolved garbage that taints all future involvements you have. And there is the kind that gives you strength, wisdom, knowledge and the learned lessons that keep you from making the same mistakes over and over again. My baggage is the second kind I mentioned.
At the moment I'm somewhat frustrated and have too much time to play with, mostly personal stuff that will pass shortly. No biggie. I am also a bit frustrated with the difficulty I am having in getting my point across here in the way I am trying to. A lot of the guys are reading more into what I'm saying than I feel I am actually saying. Whether the cause of that is my own impatience with other things or some people seeing a bit of themselves in my posts and getting defensive (or both) is yet to be seen. Either way, it is making for some thought provoking conversation, and that's not a bad thing.
On another note...I just got back from taking my kids to see the Harry Potter movie. I thought for sure I would hate it since I have a short attention span and get so restless during movies. Plus, all the kids are all hyped up to see this one, so I assumed it wasn't something adults would care for much. This is a really great movie, and if anyone is thinking about seeing it or wanting to go to a movie...this is one that anyone and everyone should enjoy.
