When the check arrives and you're on a first date

[yun-j]

i understand that us men need to be aware of women who are looking to use us or string us along, but i dont think there is anything wrong with paying for a first date.

I have heard about women going for lunch or dinner with men so they get a free meal and to save money. No intention of giving the guy anything. Even though the guy (Mr Beta) has gone with one thing on his mind.

 

[yun-j]

WTF with these trolls flooding the board with new accounts on a hourly basis.

Why the neg hit? I am genuinely interested in improving with women and want to be part of such a community.

 

[old_skoolr]

I honestly don't get the big debate on this.

I thought it was universally known that a first date should be something small and casual. Meet up for a cup of coffee and if things play out well move on to something more private, like a walk in the park or down by the beach??

So if you think its beta or you think a girl will see you as a chump because you paid for 2 cups of coffee, then you got problems with a) your own mindset and b) the women that mindset is attracting.

I don't buy girls dinner unless i think they deserve it and then, I'm paying for everything, or I might get her to pay for something small, like an ice cream after or parking (if need be).

My theory on dinner dates is that a women should always offer, a man should always pay. A women who doesn't offer, or at least try, is not worth your time and money.

It just comes down to the girls you decide to take out, dont blame the women, blame your judgement.

 

[BrainDamage92]

It doesnt matter but she shouldnt get used to you paying for all her ****.

 

[yun-j]

Decent girls prefer a light date so they can leave quickly if things aren't going well. The ones looking for a meal ticket want to do heavy things like long drawn out dinners.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

For me first date is drinks only. One or two. I have not deviated from this at all in the past several years.

Exactly my point...there is no check, you aren't out at dinner.

 

[Alexandar]

So in other words you spend as little as possible as a reaction to what a woman might think about you because you're worried about a woman thinking you are trying to buy sex or using you.

Men who can afford to do what they want while at the same time using common sense and not blowing all their money to impress someone aren't worried about what some broad might think.

They are with them to have a good time and enjoy the experience they can afford. Doesn't mean they are always doing that. Doesn't mean they are doing that because they find her "special". It's doing something different they might not have done or a place they haven't went to and are just having a good time.

But spending specifically to have someone, anyone, man or woman "like" you is idiotic.

Are you always counting your pennies because you're paranoid everyone might possibly use you and what they might think? If so then you have no control of your life and rely on external "what ifs" to dictate your life.

Some of us do what we want. When we want without doing it in an attempt to impress others. It's simply because we feel like it.

like i said you dont get it.

you might not care what she thinks and neither do i. but you will not succeed by taking girls out to expensive first dates. and if you dont care to succeed it still begs the question why are you even meeting them then?

read the few posts above this one.

Exactly my point...there is no check, you aren't out at dinner.

For me first date is drinks only. One or two. I have not deviated from this at all in the past several years.

Decent girls prefer a light date so they can leave quickly if things aren't going well. The ones looking for a meal ticket want to do heavy things like long drawn out dinners.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I don't have a problem picking up a tab. But i'll leave it out there for a bit to see how she reacts. If she offers, she's gold. If she just ignores it and doesn't seem concerned I guess that's just ok. If she tells me something stupid, she'll never see me again or maybe i'll just get up and leave her there.

 

[Alvafe]

feh if the bill came and she do nothing i'm not asking her out ever again, if during the date she toss anything stupid then we are spliting the bill, i'm not in the mood to waste time with stupid woman, also if she can't agree the way i'm then the door is that way.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Here's how I do it. If I want to have sex with her I pay and if I regret asking her out on a date then I don't. -- Simple.

If you don't pay it's almost like saying that you aren't very interested, so I save not paying for when I am not very interested.

*****es want their cake and eat it too.

^^^ This is what I do.

However if a woman has acted like a b1 tch or has shown disinterest in me on that first date, I either split the bill, or if she is reluctant to pay, drop my share on the table, say thanks and leave.

I won't be a cheap bas tard ever, but on the other hand, if I feel a woman isn't just after a meal ticket, I have no problem getting the check. On a first date.

 

[SgtSplacker]

To me that first date is all about seeing what a girl is all about. I'll act like i'm into her and see how she reacts. I'll bring up that were on a date, maybe bring up some sexual themes of conversation. If she's avoiding these conversation topics or not being complimentary i'm splitting that bill for sure. I have no interest in a prude.