When someone repeatedly disrespects your girlfriend...

[crashdietguy]

Didn't know where to put this, so I'll put it here.

So there's a guy who's being an ******* to my girlfriend. A couple of months ago he sent a rude text to her, she got upset, and I took care of it by talking to him on MSN (he said it was all in fun (bull****), and it definitely wasn't recieved that way, which I told him). Time passes, everything's fine, but today he sent her two other rude messages and she got upset again, and this time I'll talk to him in person.

The thing is, he's my girlfriend's friend's boyfriend, and my GF's friend doesn't seem to care. My GF's upset and I want to show her that I'm a man and can take care of jerks.

The texts he sent her:

"Freak"

After my GF's friend told him to say sorry, he sent this "Idiot". This is the second time he's being a jerk, after I told him to quit it some months ago. He's obviously seeking a reaction.

How do I take care of this? I'm a normal teenage white guy, I've never really confronted anyone (but I'm pretty pissed off right now). Tips?

 

[seagull]

deleted

 

[Atom Smasher]

How do you guys stack up together in terms of physical strength? I'm looking to gauge the intimidation factor before advising.

 

[crashdietguy]

He: 5'4 - 5'5ish, loud-mouthed in groups, but from what I've heard he's a coward if confronted. I don't think he's very strong, looks lanky.
Me: 6'2, I work out 3 times a week so I'm kinda built.

I'm not really looking for a fight, just tips on how to deal/confront jerks like him.

 

[synergy1]

attention is what they want so ostracize them from social groups and make him try hard just to look like a fool. Most of the time, people give themselves just enough rope to hang themselves and it sounds like this guy is doing just that. If the disrespect keeps coming because the guy gets his rocks off making people feel like **** ( never really met anyone like this), than give him a black eye.

 

[Berlex]

I would repeatedly feed him a knuckle sandwich.

 

[1337]

The guy obviously deserves to get uppercut with a brick. Tell your her to delete him off messenge phone etc

 

[Warrior74]

Yah. She needs to delete him. Pull him aside, away from everyone else and give him a verbal warning. "Listen, I want you to stop messaging my girlfriend, okay?" The next time, knock his block off.

 

[everywomanshero]

I would advise you to take a step back for a minute.

She could delete him, tell her friend that her bf is bothering her, or any number of things to stop this. I wouldn't really bring it up. The last time some guy was bothering a gf of mine, I told her I was callin this dude up and going off on him and wasn't playing any games. She knew I was serious so she called his boss (they used to work together and he was calling from work) and had his butt chewed. He never called again. She wasnt encouraging him in any way though, she was just ignoring his calls but I was sick of the mf waking me up in the morning by calling.

I don't want to make you mad but sometimes a girl might like the guy who is "harassing them", so when a girl repeatadly talks about a guy but takes no action to stop it, you might want to consider all angles. Make sure shes not somehow encouraging the guy.

 

[Iceberg]

Yah. She needs to delete him. Pull him aside, away from everyone else and give him a verbal warning. "Listen, I want you to stop messaging my girlfriend, okay?" The next time, knock his block off.

I'm not a fan of physical violence, because it normally indicates a loss of control. But Warrior is right.

You gotta pull the guy aside and say "Hey man I already talked to you once about this. This is the last time I want to hear my g/f complaining about something you said to her."

You spoke with him once about it. Even if the guy is joking around with your girl, he has to respect your role as her boyfriend. He's not respecting it. So something's gotta give.

I don't want to make you mad but sometimes a girl might like the guy who is "harassing them", so when a girl repeatadly talks about a guy but takes no action to stop it, you might want to consider all angles.

Also a fair point. All the women who have drama in their lives usually find a way to bring it upon themselves.

I highly doubt this d-bag is calling her out of the blue to insult her. Something's leading up to it.

 

[zekko]

I'm not a fan of physical violence, because it normally indicates a loss of control. But Warrior is right.

You gotta pull the guy aside and say "Hey man I already talked to you once about this. This is the last time I want to hear my g/f complaining about something you said to her."

Not giving advice here, just curious about something.
A lot of guys here say not to do any white kinghting or to be a Captain-Save-a-Ho.
Why does this not fall under that category?

 

[blackwolf]

notice how trouble comes it's usually about a girl. not that they intend it to happen but more fights happen when you have a gf lol.

 

[Iceberg]

Not giving advice here, just curious about something.
A lot of guys here say not to do any white kinghting or to be a Captain-Save-a-Ho.
Why does this not fall under that category?

Well it's not necessarily a "ho" he's saving. It's his girlfriend, right?

If some dude is calling up my girlfriend insulting her, I gotta do something, right?

For all I know, this guy's girlfriend is some drama-queen who puts herself in these situations. But just in case she isn't, I offer my advice.

I mean, thinking back on it, none of my GOOD girlfriends had issues like this going on. But a couple of the stupid/bad ones did. So it makes sense to have some doubts about this girl.

 

[crashdietguy]

Thanks for the replies guys!

Iceberg, my GF is not a drama-queen, and after having a talk with her about this D-bag and her friend, I've found out he does this kind of **** to alot of folks. This guy definitely has issues.

My GF has calmed down and wants to take the Higher Road, the Way of Ignorance. I agree with her, but I told her that if he continues his harassing, I'm gonna confront him.

And no, my GF doesn't secretly like the guy. She pretty much hates his guts.

 

[The Mad Ghost]

Just have a toast for all douchebags.

And whilst your at it, have a toast with your girlfriend and laugh about it.

 

[Ease]

Thanks for the replies guys!

Iceberg, my GF is not a drama-queen, and after having a talk with her about this D-bag and her friend, I've found out he does this kind of **** to alot of folks. This guy definitely has issues.

My GF has calmed down and wants to take the Higher Road, the Way of Ignorance. I agree with her, but I told her that if he continues his harassing, I'm gonna confront him.

And no, my GF doesn't secretly like the guy. She pretty much hates his guts.

Hating his guts is quite closely linked with secretly liking him. For real.

The only acceptable option here is confronting the guy harshly and saying something to the effect of 'stfu'.

Any extended conversation or explanation is unnecesery, and will probably be counter effective for your cause.

 

[zekko]

If some dude is calling up my girlfriend insulting her, I gotta do something, right?

I agree, but the nature of these texts seem pretty childish. These one word messages. "Freak" I wouldn't even consider an insult. "Idiot" is more offensive. Just the manner in which he is doing it seems so immature. And the OP says he is a teenager, so that confirms it. It almost doesn't even seem worth responding to, it's so ridiculous.

I like the idea of making the guy a pariah until he learns how to deal with people correctly. But that would be hard to do since he's the OP's girlfriend's boyfriend.
Anyway, sounds like the OP has a considerable size/weight advantage, so there shouldn't be any problem if it becomes physical. Sometimes these little guys go nutso though.

 

[Thundernuts]

Dude, your bigger than him, you got the power to end this situation however you want. If he keeps things up ignore it for awhile but if its non stop harassment then you should step up to him. Theres usually a point where he is trying to get response and when that doesn't happen he'll lay off.

Good thinking though, you could probably get in serious trouble for just going and kicking his ass. Just let things lay as they will and after awhile im sure it will stop, most likely he'll find someone else to bother unless Iceberg is right and your gf is secretly instigating this.

goodluck

 

[Kerpal]

I would advise you to take a step back for a minute.

She could delete him, tell her friend that her bf is bothering her, or any number of things to stop this. I wouldn't really bring it up. The last time some guy was bothering a gf of mine, I told her I was callin this dude up and going off on him and wasn't playing any games. She knew I was serious so she called his boss (they used to work together and he was calling from work) and had his butt chewed. He never called again. She wasnt encouraging him in any way though, she was just ignoring his calls but I was sick of the mf waking me up in the morning by calling.

I don't want to make you mad but sometimes a girl might like the guy who is "harassing them", so when a girl repeatadly talks about a guy but takes no action to stop it, you might want to consider all angles. Make sure shes not somehow encouraging the guy.

+1

Sounds like she loves the attention she's getting and the drama this is creating. If not, why doesn't she just block him?

 

[mustfirstregister]

Why don't you kill him?