when she says 'you should go see other girls'

[pete101]

how do i respond to this?

she said to me twice today on our 2nd date 'you should go see other girls' when she asked me about messages i received from girls wanting to meet up from an internet dating site. i met her from there too.

he made out and what not but she told me twice 'you should keep your options open..' 'go see the other girls'

i know this is a test.. i just didnt know what to answer it with?

tbh my date went really badly yet she's still interested in me, wants to meet friday. so strange. really. i'm like waiting for the 'lets just be friends text'

 

[Jeffst1980]

This is where you flip the script on her and cancel on her last minute without an explanation.

You're on the wrong path if she's telling you to see other girls. First of all, she shouldn't be "telling" you what to do. It sounds as though she is calling the shots, which is instant death.

Shake things up by canceling on her, perhaps to "see other girls." See if that makes a difference.

 

[pete101]

This is where you flip the script on her and cancel on her last minute without an explanation.

You're on the wrong path if she's telling you to see other girls. First of all, she shouldn't be "telling" you what to do. It sounds as though she is calling the shots, which is instant death.

Shake things up by canceling on her, perhaps to "see other girls." See if that makes a difference.

what sort of wrong path?

it's like shes telling me to do it and i dont really know why.. like to almost test me to see what kind of interest i have in her?

that's what it felt like.. like her telling me to go see them and keep my options open to see if i'll be like 'no i only want to see you'

it was more a passing comment when i said 'well i could go see other girls who want to meet up from there..'

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Pete101,

In general, we don't really have enough information here to make a truly informed decision. But despite this, I can tell you from experience that whenever a girl you "just met" let's the phrase "go see other girls" come out of her mouth----------you are either NOT her first choice or NOT her ideal choice.

And if I read what you've written correctly, she said this to you AFTER you got a little physical with her. Believe me, if this chick was into you, she wouldn't be hedging her bets by risking LOSING you to another girl--------she'd be protecting her investments instead--------by making sure she corners the market on being with you-------especially this early on in the "getting to know you" process.

Any woman who boldly makes a statement to you like "go meet other girls" is a woman who is NOT afraid to lose you. In other words, you don't mean too much to her right now. She can just as soon take you or leave you. Sure she made out with you, but to some women---------this means nothing. You could actually be just a warm body in the right place at the right time.

Believe it or not, there are quite a few women out here who only think of guys as a piece of @ss, and nothing more. Funny how that doesn't sound so good when it's the other way around, does it? Regardless, I imagine that this chick is either:

1. Not that into you.

2. A big time online "player" herself.

3. Or, you've committed the "unpardonable" sin of coming on too strong with her much too fast---------which as you know, will cause many women who have an overinflated view of their own appeal to LOSE INTEREST in you faster than the speed of light.


Either way, I'm with JEFFST1980 on this one. Cancel on this chick------but take it one step further:

Actually make a concerted effort to quickly replace her with a woman who you believe that may have a much HIGHER level of interest in you.

More men need to realize that women are NOT quick to "test" guys that they're still in the process of really trying to impress.


Soldier on.


V.U.

 

[handle]

She probably isn't that interested. Take her advice though -- seeing more thatn one girl? Sounds good to me.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

If you're not into her, then don't bother seeing her again. Why waste your time?

 

[floydb25]

You might be assuming too much. I used to think everything was a test, too. Making everything out to be bigger than it was, and over-analyzing everything.

Turns out, every girl who said this was waiting for something better to come along. They didn't necessarily want me to keep my options open - it was the only way they could keep THEIR options open. It's weird to explain, but they pull this kind of stuff all the time. It's how they secure their interests - by setting up all these crap rules and boundaries to get their way - while having something to fall back on in case you get any ideas. Then, being justified when they leave you for another.

Whenever I tried dating others - they'd come storming back, and call me a jerk. Blah blah. Once I went back to them - they'd tell me to keep my options open, and that they werent interested. It was all a game; they were players and users who tried controlling the situation - to prevent me from dating anyone else - while they did just that. They just couldn't tell me NOT to date others, because then that would mean they are interested, and must keep THEIR options closed. But they left enough hope to keep me interested and available. This is how game-players operate.

Like someone else said, they also determined the nature of the relationship. I assumed too much, and gave in... Not realizing they were controlling and manipulative. Basically, fell right for their trap. Once THEY found someone else - I was history. It was all about them - and they set it up that way.

Going to your example - which is absolutely perfect... I, too, assumed that they wanted to see how much I liked them. This was true, but not for the genuine intentions I thought they had. They just wanted to make sure that I remained interested in THEM. And, that's when they gained all the control, and didn't have to worry about me going against their interests.

Whenever you're confused about where a woman stands or what her intentions are - it is NOT a good sign. Someone who's interested and genuine won't play all these crap games. Only players do. Not everything is a test to see how genuine you are. Hardly anything is. Most peoplethan play games to see how much they can control you. The confusing, vague nature of playing games ensures that they'll get away with it - since the intentions can be taken either way.

Is this harsh, and cynical? Maybe... But its better to be prepared. Never assume anything. Do NOT allow yourself to be controlled, or play her games. Take her advice, and date others. Don't go back to her if she starts whining when you do.

 

[Trump]

You are going out with a girl on Friday who just told you she doesn't mind you having sex with other girls? Sounds very backwards.

Telling her "I only want you" won't get her juices flowing. Instead, Get her to feel that other girls are knocking down your door in order to sleep with you, it will wake her up.

 

[pete101]

I should mention it was AFTER i said 'there's other girls i could meet who want to meet up..' she then goes 'you should go see other girls then.. keep your options open' she did say it rather in a non-jealous calm way, is this definitely a bad warning sign or is testing me to see if im after just 1 thing or genuinely interested in her?

she thinks i just jump from girl to girl

 

[DonGorgon]

how do i respond to this?

she said to me twice today on our 2nd date 'you should go see other girls' when she asked me about messages i received from girls wanting to meet up from an internet dating site. i met her from there too.

he made out and what not but she told me twice 'you should keep your options open..' 'go see the other girls'

i know this is a test.. i just didnt know what to answer it with?

tbh my date went really badly yet she's still interested in me, wants to meet friday. so strange. really. i'm like waiting for the 'lets just be friends text'

she has been ****ing many other guys and is feeling sorry for you ... best response to her saying that is "I have been.. what doyou think i do after work? come straight home..um no.lol":rockon: :rockon:

wether its true or not does not matter just say it right and she will break down and get man and you must then go silent and leave and never ever talk to her ever again ever...

 

[Iceberg]

Yeah. It's a "test" to see how long you put up with that sh*t before you NEXT her.

Here's the only "test" that matters, you try to escalate to sex. She's good to go. Or she rejects you.

F**k tests. What I learned over the years is, you don't have to play the game by their rules. Any hint of confusion with a woman, and I start looking for the EXIT sign. And right now, this chick is intentionally trying to confuse you.

 

[davewe]

how do i respond to this?

she said to me twice today on our 2nd date 'you should go see other girls' when she asked me about messages i received from girls wanting to meet up from an internet dating site. i met her from there too.

he made out and what not but she told me twice 'you should keep your options open..' 'go see the other girls'

i know this is a test.. i just didnt know what to answer it with?

tbh my date went really badly yet she's still interested in me, wants to meet friday. so strange. really. i'm like waiting for the 'lets just be friends text'

What am I missing here? You made out, she wants to see you again for the third date, where in all likelihood you will have sex, and she encourages you to keep your options open and see other women.

You all describe this like its a bad thing!

Now if you were in a relationship or were wanting her as a LTR, that might be different.

Have sex with her and see other women. It sounds like she has her priorities right.

 

[pete101]

i see.. i think this explains a lot.. cos i was wondering why she said that.. maybe to make her self feel less guilty about sleeping with other guys while seeing me.

in all liklihood i'll prob sleep with her next date.. i dont want to be a captain save a-ho.. i guess i'll just keep her around for regular sex. i do feel bad for her but then again i need to concentrate on me.

it's just puzzling what she meant by that and in the context i said it. it's like 'i got other girls' her: 'ok you should go see them' i thought it was a test to see if i was BS'ing? like me claiming i got other options and her going 'prove it'.. but i guess that isn't the case.

 

[bukowski_merit]

i see.. i think this explains a lot.. cos i was wondering why she said that.. maybe to make her self feel less guilty about sleeping with other guys while seeing me.

"Seeing" you? Really, until you guys have sex - this is kiddie pool stuff. You're not seeing her.

in all liklihood i'll prob sleep with her next date.. i dont want to be a captain save a-ho.. i guess i'll just keep her around for regular sex. i do feel bad for her but then again i need to concentrate on me.

Why do you feel bad for her? IF she is out enjoying herself with multiple plates - im sure the last thing she needs is your pity man. You have it right though - sleep with her, enjoy the sex, and stay away from being captain save a-ho...

it's just puzzling what she meant by that and in the context i said it. it's like 'i got other girls'

It's better to give off player vibes than to say you are one.

What were you hoping to achieve by verbalizing that you have other girls? In all seriousness... If she asked you and you answered - well that was dumb. If you did it to play some kind of game with her (such as: "prove to her im a player so that she wants me more") - that was dumb too.

her: 'ok you should go see them'

I like this girl She called you on your bullsh!t. She basically said "I don't care." You were not expecting that response from her. Now you're stuck trying to figure out what's going on here. Is this not exactly what a player would tell a girl who tried to play the, "there's another man" card? Leaving a woman to question his attraction to her because he didn't care?

She is confusing you, which most likely means she is much better at this game than you are.

i thought it was a test to see if i was BS'ing? like me claiming i got other options and her going 'prove it'.. but i guess that isn't the case.

Your about the 3rd person this week that i've seen who tried to play a game with a girl and when she played it back - he got confused.

I believe she played this correctly. I believe you did not.

 

[pete101]

"Seeing" you? Really, until you guys have sex - this is kiddie pool stuff. You're not seeing her.




Why do you feel bad for her? IF she is out enjoying herself with multiple plates - im sure the last thing she needs is your pity man. You have it right though - sleep with her, enjoy the sex, and stay away from being captain save a-ho...




It's better to give off player vibes than to say you are one.

What were you hoping to achieve by verbalizing that you have other girls? In all seriousness... If she asked you and you answered - well that was dumb. If you did it to play some kind of game with her (such as: "prove to her im a player so that she wants me more") - that was dumb too.




I like this girl She called you on your bullsh!t. She basically said "I don't care." You were not expecting that response from her. Now you're stuck trying to figure out what's going on here. Is this not exactly what a player would tell a girl who tried to play the, "there's another man" card? Leaving a woman to question his attraction to her because he didn't care?

She is confusing you, which most likely means she is much better at this game than you are.





Your about the 3rd person this week that i've seen who tried to play a game with a girl and when she played it back - he got confused.

I believe she played this correctly. I believe you did not.

you're right. +1 rep

she lives by herself as well (warning sign) i said to her that it was good cos she could have sex with anyone she wanted whenever without worrying about what a roommate might think.. she took offence to this but not in a 'you caught me now im gona get angry to cover my tracks' but more so that i kinda accused her of being a slvt.

am i kidding myself and that she is sleeping around?

she's a 32 year old woman looking for a serious relationship, she has a lot of baggage too which doesn't help and says she spends a lot of time alone for the past year or so which she finds very lonley. clearly she's been hurt before for whatever reason.

am i kidding myself? the way i look at it is that i havent' gotten laid in a long time and now there's this 1 who's showing me major interest.. i've never had a woman show me such high IL, texting me contacting me 1st, changing her plans to see me, dropping everything to see me.. she could be an attention seeker looking for my validation but im looking at it that it's a good way for me to get some regular sex for a while, i'll continue to spin plates though.

it seems like in order to keep her as regular sex im going to need to take her out.. im tired of constantly sarging with no return. obviously i shouldnt' get oneitis so keep doing it, but at least i'll have more confidence now.

 

[jafyk]

Lol, she played. You played back and got cvntfused, lmao!

 

[perseverance]

If a girl said that to me I'd take it as a sign that she has a low interest level in and that she was quite possibility a raving lunatic.

 

[The_411]

If a girl says that then go do it and forget her. She either has terrible self-esteem or she isn't interested either way she's not a good choice. After all who wants to be with a killjoy.

 

[Aaron B]

power play

as always, please yourself, not her

who cares what she thinks or what she says as long as you are getting what you want

are you getting what you want from her?

 

[Warrior74]

I should mention it was AFTER i said 'there's other girls i could meet who want to meet up..' she then goes 'you should go see other girls then.. keep your options open' she did say it rather in a non-jealous calm way, is this definitely a bad warning sign or is testing me to see if im after just 1 thing or genuinely interested in her?

she thinks i just jump from girl to girl

Nah dude. You got played! And the sad part is that you played yourself. How?

You tried to show your higher value in the worst way, talking about it. Instead of seeming like the sort of guy who could be meeting other girls, you went and told her. You bluffed and she called. Now you're ready to fold. You asked for this by saying that stupid statement in the first place. Why did you say that? What were you trying to prove to her? That you had options? If she's a cute girl she's got tons of options, she doesn't have to mention it. If you were an alpha you'd be the same way. You showed your hand. The rest of these guys are telling you what you want to hear, but by even saying that in the first place you have no one to blame for this but yourself.

Ever notice that the story comes out in bits and pieces, usually after the OP gets his hurt ego massaged? Nobody likes to admit they screwed up, only after a little massaging can they begin to admit it.