When She says she has a boyfriend

[timmylivingalie]

Whats the best next move?

 

[zzirf25]

next

 

[Alex DeLarge]

next

exactly, unless you're desperate enough to get with a girl that's taken. Why waste your time when there's plenty of single babes out there?

 

[timmylivingalie]

Yes I agree that would be the best move but if you still want to pursue her what would be a good move? I jave been talking with her a couple times and getting good vibes I just made a comment about her necklace and she said it her boyfreinds so I just walked away.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Wait for her to break up with the boyfriend, or wait for her to come to you. Keep in touch as friends, but I don't mean friends that text, call, make plans for the weekend.. Just give her a friendly hello and have a short conversation if you see her around often. The only time a girl is ever willing to cheat on her BF with you, it's to get revenge.. Not because he's an AFC. If he was an AFC, then she'd just politely dump him and start seeing you.. That is, if she's interested.

 

[J Roc]

Next!

 

[backbreaker]

seriously.. why do people still even ask this question?

In gaming strategy, this is the equivalent of leaving your queen in chess unprotected. it makes no sense to ask a woman if she has a Boyfriend.

Why?

Because 1. you honestly, genuinely do not give a damn what her response is and 2. you are, hypothetically making things more awkward for you.


You do not care if she has a Boyfriend or not. Why do you not care? Because you are not getting in a relationship with her, you are trying to bag her, at least for now. if you are doing it right, you are going to be spinning plates and she's going to have to earn her way into your heart, so regardless of if she does or does not have a BF, is inconsequential to your next move.

No, what you care about is if she is attracted to you or not. And by care i mean, that's the only thing you are concerned with not that you seriously care.

What if she DOES have a BF, but she is into you? We know it happens everyday we read the forums here. So you break out the question, and she tells you she does, and now she is on the defensive 1. explaining why she isn't a ***** and 2. Any chance you had of nookie action just went out the window lol, no woman (i know), even the outright garbage gutter ones, are not so bad where they will say "yes i've been dating Joe for a year now, he's a great guy, pull down your pants"

Her actually talking to you tells you everything you know. Assume the sale. Assume unless otherwise told. A guy should never ask a girl if she is in a relationship. He should assume she isn't at all times unless he sees a ring.

You can butcher alot of ONS or FB opportunities by asking stupid questions like that. She had the intention of having a "guilt free" grind session or at the very least some really strong petting with you but now you have went and reminded her that she's taken, great job there buddy.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

^ In his second post, she mentioned the boyfriend when he commented on her necklace.

Why even hook up with a girl that's a wh0re enough to cheat on her BF. I'd rather just masturbate than have to invest a few bucks in a pack of condoms, and gas or public transit fare to get to the girl's house.. and I sure as hell know I wouldn't want a wh0re in my bedroom lol.

 

[Domo_Arigatoo]

Okay, well i think most of the time when girls say this, they don't actually have a boyfriend (unless they mention it at the beginning of your convo)

So something i would say is, "Oh, well why is he letting you walk around without him? What if a smooth guy like me comes by and sweeps you off your feet? I don't think that would be too fair."

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What you're describing is the Boyfriend Disclaimer, also known as a Proactive LJBF. The Boyfriend Disclaimer rejection occurs when a woman slips the information of her unavailability (due to the BF) covertly into casual conversation. I've covered this countless times with frustrated guys asking me why a woman would tell him she had a boyfriend in the middle of a sarge. It simply a communication device with the latent purpose of proactively rejecting him (where a LJBF is a reactive rejection) and/or allowing her a convenient OUT while she determines his sexual market value with other sh!t tests.

The idea behind the Boyfriend Disclaimer is that you've telegraphed your interest in her overtly enough that she wants to save herself the potential embarrassment and discomfort of having to needlessly go through the process of you asking her out. As I said, it's proactive - "Hey lets save us both the trouble of you trying to hook up with me and get to the part where we agree to just be friends." This is a very common practice for exceptionally attractive women who, through frequency, more readily read the approach behaviors of guys who are attracted to her.

That said, unless there's a ring on her finger, every woman is single. C&F is amazingly effective in defusing a BFD when used to draw attention to it as a tactic. Don't let a BFD thwart your sarge. Often enough it's a bluff she's not used to being called on, turn that to your advantage, but do so cleverly.

 

[Die Hard]

C&F is amazingly effective in defusing a BFD when used to draw attention to it as a tactic.

I can't make sense of this sentence. Could you expand?

 

[PapiChulo]

Tell her you have a boyfriend too- it sends the message.

 

[Crissco]

I usually ask "How does it feel to be in a perfect relashionship" then depending on her response take it from there.

 

[st_99]

I usually ask "How does it feel to be in a perfect relashionship" then depending on her response take it from there.

Hmm, thats pretty clever. I like it.

 

[DonGorgon]

Whats the best next move?

99% of the time when she tells you this it means... She is not sexually attracted to you and does not want you to pursue her anymore..

 

[Nexus Polaris]

"Cool. So that leaves two free holes. Do you mind if I invite a friend?"


*If done properly, this should get you a good laugh. Which sets you up to keep plowing. Because as DonGorgon accurately pointed out, 99% of the time the boyfriend line just means "I'm not into you, go away." If you seem unfazed by it and get/keep her laughing, there's a good chance that "boyfriend" will disappear.

 

[SW15]

unless there's a ring on her finger, every woman is single. C&F is amazingly effective in defusing a BFD when used to draw attention to it as a tactic. Don't let a BFD thwart your sarge. Often enough it's a bluff she's not used to being called on, turn that to your advantage, but do so cleverly.

Yes! This is why men need to use "Boyfriend Destroyer" lines in most situations. If a man is doing pickup in a place where he's not likely to ever run into the woman again (grocery store, mall, many outdoor settings, and nightlife venues) are good examples of this, then using the "Boyfriend Destroyer" can be a situation where something can be gained and nothing can be lost. It might not be a good idea to use it at the gym, have it fail, and then have the woman report you to gym management for harrassment. You might end up needing to find a new gym. For men that like their gyms, hitting on women at the gym might eventually create a need to switch gyms. It needs to be done with great care. Other threads are better for expanding upon this and I have done that.

What you're describing is the Boyfriend Disclaimer, also known as a Proactive LJBF. The Boyfriend Disclaimer rejection occurs when a woman slips the information of her unavailability (due to the BF) covertly into casual conversation. I've covered this countless times with frustrated guys asking me why a woman would tell him she had a boyfriend in the middle of a sarge. It simply a communication device with the latent purpose of proactively rejecting him (where a LJBF is a reactive rejection) and/or allowing her a convenient OUT while she determines his sexual market value with other sh!t tests.

The idea behind the Boyfriend Disclaimer is that you've telegraphed your interest in her overtly enough that she wants to save herself the potential embarrassment and discomfort of having to needlessly go through the process of you asking her out. As I said, it's proactive - "Hey lets save us both the trouble of you trying to hook up with me and get to the part where we agree to just be friends." This is a very common practice for exceptionally attractive women who, through frequency, more readily read the approach behaviors of guys who are attracted to her.

This does happen to a lot of men and I can think of instances over the years where it has happened to me. Sometimes the boyfriend is real, sometimes the boyfriend isn't real. It can prevent an ask out. I'd say that is what it typically does. A good portion of men walk away from the situation with the Boyfriend Disclaimer and it's an easy out for a man who wants a romantic frame in the interaction.

I've never accepted "let's just be friends" reactively when I felt physical attraction to a woman. I find for me that it is possible to be friends with a woman when I'm not physically attracted to her. Even these friendships have downsides that I don't recommend. It's not a good idea to be platonic friends with a woman when you feel attraction.

Avoiding the friend zone trap has been one of the best things I've done in my ~25 years in the mating environment.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Whats the best next move?

If she has a boyfriend you can have sex without a condom and not worry about pregnancy scares.