When she says she has a boyfriend.. but yet flirts away

[confus4ever]

Ive gotta a question (or story) that i could use some feedback on.

I recently (2 months ago) met a hot woman in class (college). I had to basically put it all on the line and intiate the conversation and pursue sitting by her. Right off the bat, i got great eye contact, smiles, and the conversations got a little longer each time (hard to talk though when your instructor is babbling away).

So i decided to ask her out and she hesitated and said she didn't have any time. I thought for sure i was fu**ed from that point on. Since that day, she now sits with me and talks more than she ever did before. Still have good eye contact, etc.

She seems to enjoy my company, and she didn't start avoiding me, just the opposite, so i thought to myself...maybe something is happening here.

Then, the sh*t comes down...

In the midst of a conversation, she quickly blurts out how her boyfriend helped her with her homework, then moved on in the conversation and when it came time for her to leave, gave me the smile she always does before we depart.

Now what?

Can anybody tell me what you think might be happening? Is this a lose lose situation or an opportunity for me to hang in there for the ride?

 

[Tantric]

"Can anybody tell me what you think might be happening? Is this a lose lose situation or an opportunity for me to hang in there for the ride?"

Well, if you hang in for the ride, that's exaclty where you'll be taken for..."a ride".

Here goes:

#1 - read my post on the 85%/15% rule in the Tips section


#2 - she could have be seeing this BF for 1 week, 1 month, 1 year? She could be EXTREMELY happy with him, or EXTREMELY unhappy with him.

#3 - most girls (if interested in another guy) will not mention they have a BF...aferall, if you wanted a really hot HB10, would go around talking about GF?

Anyway...

The only answer is to go for it, but DO NOT allow yourself to go on "the ride"...I would mack her BUT DO NOT WAIT TOO LONG!!!! if you do, there's a chance you'll be put in the friends zone.

Do the usual: Eye contact, c/f, elicit values, kino, etc., and see how she responds. You lose nothing if she says no, so i'd go for it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by confus4ever
...

Can anybody tell me what you think might be happening? Is this a lose lose situation or an opportunity for me to hang in there for the ride?

You have entered a world not of reason or logic, but an unbalanced world of subterfuge and deceit. You have entered the "Lets just be friends" zone....

Do dooo do do, Do dooo do do

 

[TesuqueRed]

Keep being friendly, as in "friends"...

And then start giving other girls attention, but stay friendly with her. Don't answer "what's up with her?" type questions, or any "are you interested in her?" questions. See what she does in response. Should be interesting.

 

[becker]

I don't necessarily agree that girls who are interested in you won't mention a BF.

To me, girls are very insecure creatures, and most of them that I know can never keep a secret. They have a need to talk a need for reassurance. For this reason, they can't ever keep something like a BF under wraps for long. Even girls who I've known who were clearly keeping away from that subject of conversation have eventually revealed it. All that's required is some prying.

Anyways, the guilt they have from flirting alone will eventually lead to them revealing that they have a BF. Another reason might be that it's like an anti-slut defense, because if anyone finds out that she's flirting with you, then they may find themselves the subject of the rumor mill, something that no girl ever likes to be a part of.

Anyways, proceed as though she didn't have a BF. If you don't care, then at the very least it might make her feel better that at least you're not going to brand her with a scarlet "A" on her chest.

 

[Jasmine]

Hey,

From what you have said, I don't think that she has a strong bond with this guy. I think that you should keep pushing the envelope (as long as you think she's worth it) and I think you'll wear her down.

As for do girls flirt when they have a boyfriend? Hell yeah! But not (intentionally) if they are with the right guy.

Good luck mate!!

Jas

 

[confus4ever]

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[Crotch Sniffer]

Sounds like she was testing you.

I had a girl do this to me recently and I just ignored it. In fact I never brought the BF up at all and niether did she afterwards. We ended up hookin up and she told me she liked my calm confidence.

Women like men who are unfazed by their silly games-

I gave this advice elsewhere and I think it applies here as well. if you want her to become more interested in you, let her see you with other hotties, even if they are just your friends (in fact I tend to use my LJBFs a lot in my gamin). Girls are VERY competitive and always want what is jst out of reach.

You have already sown her some interest so pull back a bit. Still be friendly and stuff, but dont be too available to her. Make her see that she is missing out on something great!

goodluck bro

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Funny...Same thing is happening to me now...I was working on this girl ( C+F, eye contact) and she came up to me and started talking, and we started flirting...Then I asked her out and she says she has a boyfriend, but the weird sh1t is that the flirting has gotten way more physical...She's touching me, grabbing me, rubbing agaisnt me, and the C+F is getting laid on her even more...Cause she has a BF, I tried to ignore her and sort of push her away, but then she comes up to me and asks me if I dont like her...I tell her im just messing with her, it isnt that serious...Then shes always asking what im doing on the weekends, and I ask her why does she want to know, cause she has a boyfriend and all, and she says im being a trip...Im trying soo hard to block this girl out, but when she flashes that smile and rubs against me, its so hard, and I havent felt this way about a girl in a long time....Plus im getting a gut feeling that she still likes me...Sh1t, I gotta get this out of my system...

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

Originally posted by TheInfamousCBear
Funny...Same thing is happening to me now...I was working on this girl ( C+F, eye contact) and she came up to me and started talking, and we started flirting...Then I asked her out and she says she has a boyfriend, but the weird sh1t is that the flirting has gotten way more physical...She's touching me, grabbing me, rubbing agaisnt me, and the C+F is getting laid on her even more...Cause she has a BF, I tried to ignore her and sort of push her away, but then she comes up to me and asks me if I dont like her...I tell her im just messing with her, it isnt that serious...Then shes always asking what im doing on the weekends, and I ask her why does she want to know, cause she has a boyfriend and all, and she says im being a trip...Im trying soo hard to block this girl out, but when she flashes that smile and rubs against me, its so hard, and I havent felt this way about a girl in a long time....Plus im getting a gut feeling that she still likes me...Sh1t, I gotta get this out of my system...

I love it when you ccan make girls chase you!!

I say keep being ****y & funny with her. Accuse her of trying to hit on you. Tell her what a bad girl she is for trying to get in your pants when she already has a man. This chick is so ripe for the picking..you just dont see it!

Maybe she does have a BF, but is she MARRIED? No, so I say this is fair game.

 

[squirrels]

She wants to f--- you, but she has a boyfriend and would feel like a dirty slut if she cheated.

Thus, her hands her tied. She wants YOU to take responsibility for initiating the sexual encounter, so she can say, "Oh, I didn't want to, but I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!"

If she KEEPS mentioning him, in a "I'm bringing him up so you will go away" way, that's a different story.

 

[WatchMeWalk]

Originally posted by squirrels

Thus, her hands her tied. She wants YOU to take responsibility for initiating the sexual encounter, so she can say, "Oh, I didn't want to, but I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!"

Indeed. Women are experts at spinning a relationship screwup in a way that absolves them of all responsibility. This is the motivation behind the "Mr. Right" mentality; place all the responsibility on the man and if he does not measure up to her ideals, any ****ty behavior on her part is justified..
Passive-aggression at its worst.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by squirrels
She wants to f--- you, but she has a boyfriend and would feel like a dirty slut if she cheated.

Thus, her hands her tied. She wants YOU to take responsibility for initiating the sexual encounter, so she can say, "Oh, I didn't want to, but I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!"

If she KEEPS mentioning him, in a "I'm bringing him up so you will go away" way, that's a different story.

She never mentioned him until I asked her out, and she never even mentions him now, so you may be right...

 

[stewartlittle]

Same thing happened to me. It seems that women enjoy the fact that they get attention from another guy than their boyfriend. Or they do not have enough friends or the boyfriend does not pay enough attention to her. My advice: MOVE ON to the next girl.

Stewartlittle