When She Goes Cold (but you did everything right)

[Denny19]

When she goes cold, I go sub zero.

Lol i have....she hasnt heard a thing from me

Just wondering if they come back ever, especially when they can only associate you with good times.... when you had great times and never disrespected them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Lol i have....she hasnt heard a thing from me

Just wondering if they come back ever, especially when they can only associate you with good times.... when you had great times and never disrespected them.

But they may have disrespected you over that period and their comtempt grows. When those reach back out, they see if they can have you be a sucker in a way or another.

 

[bigneil]

You can bet my girl from 13 months ago came back because of all her fond memories of me. I took her to 6 states and 9 cities over 18 months and we always stayed at 4+ star hotels. She has countless great memories. And so do I. It works both ways.

Regarding my current girl who suddenly went MIA this week, she has never been disrespectful and I don't want to push her to that point. I literally made a video of her coming out of my bedroom, after a night she came at least 5 times, just 30 minutes before I last dropped her off at home. I never saw any woman appear to be happier with me than her in that video. For the next 7 days she sent love letters. Then her 4 day trip...

 

[wifehunter]

Lol i have....she hasnt heard a thing from me

Just wondering if they come back ever, especially when they can only associate you with good times.... when you had great times and never disrespected them.

I treat my ladies with respect, and we have fun! So, when they do reach out (almost guaranteed), they'll need to defrost me!

 

[Denny19]

I treat my ladies with respect, and we have fun! So, when they do reach out (almost guaranteed), they'll need to defrost me!

What if you showed her nothing but great times; aways showed respect, and never got angry when she flaked. But the girl doesnt appear to know how to reach out after a few months. In othet words, what if shes still interested, which i believe she is, but wont reqch out in fear of rejection or whatever.

Do i keep doing nothing, or should i poke the tiger and ask my salsa instructor about her?

Because even if shes stilm interested, i dont see her reaching out after so many months, but i dont know if its possible she still might. Your girl reached out after 13 months, but may have more maturity than mine. Mine is very very beautiful woman, but im not chasing anybody

 

[Roober]

something very similar happened to me a few months back. I met this girl that i was introduced to by my salsa instructor. We hit it off that night, we danced, had a great time....to the point where my salsa instructor saw me later that night and said "my friend really likes you". we exchanged numbers that night, we went out 2 days later, had a great time....kissed after 1st date. The next week or so she appears to get a little flakey, then as i backed off, she texted me and offered second date. We had a great time on second date, again ended with a kiss. Then she got a little distant, i did not chase at all, just sat back. She then reached out and said she may go to the dance place (same place we met) that night, i told her i would save her dance and she replied with a smiley face. And that was the last i heard from her...this was back in august. She sent me a FB post for my bday in october, but i did nothing about it.

Bottom line is i can not point to anywhere in the time that i met her that i did anything wrong. i have no explanation for her distance except the fact that she is very very pretty and maybe was trying to get me to chase her....but if that was her plan, it back fired because I never did, however i did show her i was interested. But i have enough self respect to never chase anybody.

So like you bro, i have no idea what happened. Especially since the last time i heard from her she was planning on meeting me. it is what it is...yes it sucks. I honestly still think about her, although i would get killed on here for admitting it, i do still think about her. But have remained strong and have done NOTHING. We'll see if she reaches out ever again, i doubt she will. But there is not much i can do.

I think this is why most of the red pill stuff stresses on getting a woman in the sack ASAP. Women tie that action to emotions much more than men do. If you rock her world even only the once, she will always think of that when thinking of you. Attractive women likely go on many dates and she likely just felt she had better options.

 

[wifehunter]

What if you showed her nothing but great times; aways showed respect, and never got angry when she flaked. But the girl doesnt appear to know how to reach out after a few months. In othet words, what if shes still interested, which i believe she is, but wont reqch out in fear of rejection or whatever.

Do i keep doing nothing, or should i poke the tiger and ask my salsa instructor about her?

Because even if shes stilm interested, i dont see her reaching out after so many months, but i dont know if its possible she still might. Your girl reached out after 13 months, but may have more maturity than mine. Mine is very very beautiful woman, but im not chasing anybody

I figure if it's meant to be, it will happen. If not, I'm not interested. She'll need to get over her fear of rejection, as a consequence of going cold. Her fear of losing you should overpower any rejection fears.

If she's not complety crazy about me, it won't work.

 

[Denny19]

I think this is why most of the red pill stuff stresses on getting a woman in the sack ASAP. Women tie that action to emotions much more than men do. If you rock her world even only the once, she will always think of that when thinking of you. Attractive women likely go on many dates and she likely just felt she had better options.

I started to think maybe she took me not chasine as a sign i wasnt interested... but thinking back, i initiated dates, and my body language screamed interest. Should i poke the tiger and ask my instructor about her or leave well enough alone?

I have a hard time wrapping my head about all of this because interest was sky high on both sides.... last contact with her was her texting me telling me she may come meet me of she got out of work early enough... she didnt show and i never reachd out, that was the last i heard

 

[wifehunter]

But they may have disrespected you over that period and their comtempt grows. When those reach back out, they see if they can have you be a sucker in a way or another.

Comtempt only grows if you chase them.

 

[LastManstanding]

Here is a subject that is in no man's land. When you do everything right but she still vanishes.

Have you ever had a girl you had several dates with, had sex with (not in a commitment) and you did everything perfectly and you had her totally in love with you, and then, seemingly at random, she vanished or went cold? Did you ever get that gut feeling that something changed, and sure enough it came to pass?

In that case, it's not that we acted needy or desperate (yet! but they are often testing us here). It's not that she wasn't feeling attraction. It's often simply "out of sight out of mind" phenomenon coupled with her seeing someone else. Again, this is a case where there was no commitment so you can't say she wronged you, and you can't demand a commitment, especially then.

This is the delicate grey area that I've found nearly all relationships hit at some point.

We reach a point where they are clearly (relatively) resisting us, and it feels like a crisis. Everyone will tell us "if she loved you, she'd text every 2 hours", etc. so we know something is wrong in that moment. We often become desperate here and do something to ruin it (and fail her test), but I've found that if we simply do nothing (hold on loosely) and can wait a few weeks, that 1-2 months later we find everything is almost exactly the way it used to be. But if we panic and try to force things, it is guaranteed rejection every single time. Corey Wayne says this situation almost always means someone else is in the picture and not to take it personally, that they likely will return if we keep things open.

Have you ever had this scenario and did you manage to make it work?

Any time I've had this happen to me I often find that it is with a low quality woman. I think these women should be kept around as FWB at best. Their behavior displays nothing more committed than that.
What is a high quality woman?
- One that knows how to treat a man.
- doesnt take good treatment for granted
- She has options (other men) but doesn't actively keep them in rotation.
- Doesn't add new men into rotation.
She continues this behavior on through the "official" relationship and beyond.
Why do the high quality women do this?
Answer: because they are secure with themselves and do not need to fill their lives with constant attention from multiple partners.
Always ask yourself what type of woman you are dealing with.

 

[wifehunter]

I started to think maybe she took me not chasine as a sign i wasnt interested... but thinking back, i initiated dates, and my body language screamed interest. Should i poke the tiger and ask my instructor about her or leave well enough alone?

I have a hard time wrapping my head about all of this because interest was sky high on both sides.... last contact with her was her texting me telling me she may come meet me of she got out of work early enough... she didnt show and i never reachd out, that was the last i heard

If you reach out at this point... Game Over. She's probably sorting her emotions.

If she thinks you don't like her... Good, let her wonder!

Let it be her idea to reach out.

Find something to do, or, go meet other women.

Be a catch. They can't catch you, if you're chasing them.

 

[Denny19]

If you reach out at this point... Game Over. She's probably sorting her emotions.

If she thinks you don't like her... Good, let her wonder!

Let it be her idea to reach out.

Find something to do, or, go meet other women.

Be a catch. They can't catch you, if you're chasing them.

True

I have many hobbies... salsa dancing, guitar, working out. But after 3 plus months, i doubt shes still sorting out emotions... although she did post happy bday to me on FB in Oct, i take that with a grain of salt.

Many people have told me interest is still there because it wasnt, she wodnt have wished me happy bday, there is no reason too if she had no interest. I just doubt she ever reaches out due to her pride and fear of rejection

 

[icantgetlaid]

True

I have many hobbies... salsa dancing, guitar, working out. But after 3 plus months, i doubt shes still sorting out emotions... although she did post happy bday to me on FB in Oct, i take that with a grain of salt.

Many people have told me interest is still there because it wasnt, she wodnt have wished me happy bday, there is no reason too if she had no interest. I just doubt she ever reaches out due to her pride and fear of rejection

Read this topic: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ell-do-anything-to-make-things-happen.237993/

If she had any inclination to date you, there would be no confusion. You would know. But if you insist on finding out what most of us already suspect, man up, and offer her to join you for a drink/activity. If there's any response other than an overt yes ... it's time to move on for good.

 

[Denny19]

Read this topic: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ell-do-anything-to-make-things-happen.237993/

If she had any inclination to date you, there would be no confusion. You would know. But if you insist on finding out what most of us already suspect, call her/text her and try one more time to ask her out on a date. ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN OVERT YES and you need to bury/retire this one for good.

I will read the thread,

I suspect the same thing and dont think i will reach out again, i will run the risk of blowing her head up, id rather leave with dignity.

im just confused as we had great dates, and interest was high. When she started to flake and cancel dates, i dissapeared, and when she came back, i let her save face. Very confusing

 

[wifehunter]

True

I have many hobbies... salsa dancing, guitar, working out. But after 3 plus months, i doubt shes still sorting out emotions... although she did post happy bday to me on FB in Oct, i take that with a grain of salt.

Many people have told me interest is still there because it wasnt, she wodnt have wished me happy bday, there is no reason too if she had no interest. I just doubt she ever reaches out due to her pride and fear of rejection

It her problem, not yours. Do nothing.

 

[bigneil]

Always throws me for a loop how insubstantial it all is...

Do you mean in the grand scheme one flake is insubstantial? Hence they usually come back so we shouldn't care when?

Given that my date from last week, my date from last month and my date from last year all wrote last night and asked me out, I'm assuming the one who didn't reply yet (but who had agreed to a date) will write back. Caring sucks.

 

[wifehunter]

Do you mean in the grand scheme one flake is insubstantial? Hence they usually come back so we shouldn't care when?

Given that my date from last week, my date from last month and my date from last year all wrote last night and asked me out, I'm assuming the one who didn't reply yet (but who had agreed to a date) will write back. Caring sucks.

When we hold the best cards and get needy, it makes them think we're clueless. Very unnattractive!

 

[bigneil]

Read this topic: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...ell-do-anything-to-make-things-happen.237993/

If she had any inclination to date you, there would be no confusion. You would know. But if you insist on finding out what most of us already suspect, man up...

I'm really tired of the loser mentality of these imbittered "don juans" here. Their advice is simple: she is not that interested. That was the point of this thread.

Not ONE person has provided ONE shred of help with how to MAINTAIN a relationship. (Have they ever?) Their philosophy is: if she doesn't act like a woman with EXTREMELY high interest - ALWAYS - then it is over - FOREVER. Hence, most of you don't score as much as I do.

 

[nismo-4]

If you're doing everything right, this would be a non-issue. Often, somone better comes along and does better than you. So be able to get a better woman than the one you're with. Then you realize the one that left wasn't that attractive anyway.

Case closed.

 

[wonderer]

Even if you do everything right, women are fickle. The emotions they had for you one minute, may not be the same the next. They have an abundance mentality and have options, a new guy who has come in to her life may be too intriguing to say no to.

In my experience when a girl has gone cold its because there's someone else, why would she stop seeking the validation she used to get from you? Because shes getting it elsewhere.

Just my thoughts.