When Self Improvement Backfires!

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Toptier,


IF you are NOT a troll, here's some real advice for you. Some advice I thought I'd NEVER give any guy on this site:

If women find you irresistable, all you have to do is scale down everything about you that they find SO attractive. For example, try making yourself a little less kempt, wear clothes that are a little less flattering, and act a little more like a "nice guy" around them when you're first meeting them instead of like a big ole PIMP.

That should do the trick for you at the beginning, but when YOU decide you want to escalate things a bit, THEN start ramping up all the things about you that make you attractive.

NOW, if you are a troll (someone on here fukking with us, and NOT looking for any serious advice), try this to dismantle your female attraction magnetism:



Tell them how "cute" you think all the other guys are that work with you...:

 

[tmpgstx]

Not off-hand, but have seen similar threads, albeit the fondling. Good-looking guys do get some major bytch shields from the sober ones.

Law XX: Show disdain towards that which you feel is out of reach. It will have no power over you.

Damn women are the best playahs

 

[swifTy]

I don't know why some of you are bagging this guy- its a legitimate problem.

To the OP: The only thing you can do is to make people feel good when around you. Instead of them feeling intimidated, you need to make them feel special and good and at ease. If you make them feel safe and accepted then they will not be scared to come chat with you and so on. Having all of this value can make you a good catch, but a lot of girls will be scared to look. Chatting to everyone and treating them all the same is a good start. Simple stuff like smiling, opening them with a joke or a story, asking them how their weekends are- it grounds you, you become human in their eyes, more real, and not some perfect being that makes everyone feel insecure when they are around. The other thing you can do, is just approach the hottest of the hottest chicks. Usually they are the ones intimidating all the other guys, the same as you intimidate all the other girls. But put you 2 together and hey presto, u just met your match. Open the convo, lead the convo, leave the girl feeling good, BE HUMBLE, your value will be self-evident, and keep things fun.

 

[Osymandias]

top tier, im starting to believe you now.

im not gay, but when i read your posts i get a woody. whatever you got its starting to effect me.

its just your presence, it makes me want to beat my meat.

can you please stop posting on this forum because i dont want to start masturbating every time i see your name.

oh god, its starting to get hard, i can't control myself.... i've got to log off.

+1.
Golden!

 

[jophil28]

Geez Swifty - get a grip ! You go to stop reading those paperback "how to be popular " books at Borders.. your advice is girly and lame. Maybe you should do him a favor and check the shelves for a title like , " How NOT to be popular with Women. " That may he;p the poor, poor dear..
.If what this guy is recounting is true, or mostly true , then he knows the answer to his dilemma -get ugly ,talk shyte and don'y shave.

In my opinion, he is a male AW ...He is the equivalent of some hot babe who wears her blouse unbuttoned on purpose. She walks around whining because she is not taken seriously and goes around crying because, " All the guys in this office just want to f**k me and I can't get a promotion because I am sooooo beautiful " ...

Gimme a break !!

 

[ducaro]

This post is inspired by one of Tyler Durden's recent discussion on self improvement. I'm finding self improvement to be a bit of a double edged sword. You will soon recognize that your potential is essentially limitless. I am nowhere near as good as I want to be, in any area of my life. But some of the things I've done and witnessed are very close to being unfathomable, based upon the limiting beliefs I used to have, and am still trying to overcome.

On the other hand, if you shine "too brightly," your star can be overwhelming to many people, leading them to become intimidated, flustered, or simply unable to process who you are, since you do not fit into any preconceived category.

For example, I am in a profession in which most people are highly intelligent (in the theoretical sense), but socially awkward, especially with members of the opposite sex. Also, members of my profession tend to lead a rather "monastic" lifestyle, or at least attempt to give the appearance thereof.

So when they see me, yours truly, especially for the first time, especially the women in my profession, my co-workers become highly flustered, sexually aroused and often don't want me around. This sounds like a paradox. When people find you attractive, they want you around right? Here's the explanation. The women in my profession (now) find me very attractive, often to the point of loss of self control. However, they don't like this feeling of being out of control, especially at work, so they feel more comfortable simply NOT having me around.

I have learned this much to my chagrin during job interviews. Everyone else they've interviewed or hired, is nerdy, professional and sexually unthreatening. I am good looking, highly confident, very professional of course, but they can't seem to me strictly in professional terms.

For example, on one interview, the human resources secretary turned beet red in the face, then slowly rose out of her chair when I entered the room, and stuck her hand inside her blouse and began to fondle her chest! She then began arguing with another HR staff member about who would lead me to my first meeting of the day. Later that day, I was meeting with a prospective co-worker, but she refused to meet with me alone. Her supervisor insisted, but I could tell she was sexually aroused and didn't want to be alone with me.

Trust me, I am not making ANY of this up. I now automatically project a strong sexual energy and confidence. It's not something I can turn on and off. But this can lead women co-workers to become very guarded. It can even lead to being denied job opportunities.

How can I deal with this?

oh my god!! this is soo true.. the thing is my problem is worse, but i can understand what you are going through...

the other day i switched on the tele and i saw Catherine Zeta Jones shouting out - 'Ducaro, this is not fair, please switch off the tele, I am at work and you are distracting me'!!

serious! damn, this is dangerous.. we do need to sober down a little. i think its the kegel excercises that are screwing around with my magnetic aura.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hi Top Tier, yes, you do have a real problem,I agree . Because you are a prefessional you will be skilled at research -
Try typing into Google , " Narcissistic Personality Disorder ".

Oh that was salty....

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Y'know, I've thought about this for a while and this is the very first time that I've actually heard someone profess that their self improvement has "backfired" or otherwise not worked for them. It's called "self" improvement for a reason, if your actions are for the benefit (change of affect) of others, then it's not really self improvement in its truest sense.