When on a Date… Sit Beside Her or Sit Across from Her?

[nicksaiz65]

If possible, I try I sit next to my date, as you said it allows one to touch one another and kiss. You can gauge how interested she is by how much of a gap she leaves and whether she initiates the touching etc. But this only works if the restaurant or bar has comfortable seating that cam accommodate two people side-by-side.

Flexibility is important, so don't caught up on seating too much, if the venue only accommodates seating opposite that is fine, use it to your advantage and maintain sensual eye contact.

Rather than concentrating on seating position, focus more on maintaining conversation and turning conversation sexual.

Pro-tip, sometimes if I visit a restaurant for the first time with a date I decline the first table the waitress offers, instead I sift the room for the table with the longest comfortable couch. This makes it easier to suggest sitting side by side.



Its groping if she doesn't like you, if she likes you its Kino. Seriously though, you have to gauge her interest first.



This is good advice, its something I've done personally. If I am sitting on a nice couch I will playfully invite her to sit next to me; "This sofa is soft, come sit next to me". If she is into you she won't hesitate. After a few dates she will start sitting next to you automatically!

I really like the way you put this. You definitely need to be flexible in your approach. So if you can’t sit beside her to escalate, then just go across like you said.

I’m really glad you brought up the topic of Sexualizing dates. That is the topic of my next thread, actually. Too often I have been on these platonic dates that don’t end up leading to anything. I’ll check out your videos that you linked!

Stealing your “this sofa is soft, come sit next to me” Line

 

[nicksaiz65]

I must admit that I had never really considered this minutiae of sexual proxemics before. It really depends on who is part of the date (i.e., just you and the gal, or a combo date like when you were 13), the exact seating situation (i.e., bar seating, individual chair, booth, couch/windowsill, etc.), and what is the actual activity at the specific part of the date (eating, hanging out looking over a scene, etc.).

If just you and the gal, a booth should have you facing each other - but if it's a combo date, you should be next to her. Pretty much for everything else, you should be next to her, whether it's linearly or circumlocatively (i.e., around a table).

That’s the way to do it. A flexible, yet effective strategy.

 

[SW15]

I must admit that I had never really considered this minutiae of sexual proxemics before.

The first time I had heard about and considered spatial relations and dating was around 12-15 years ago and I had already been a participant in the sexual marketplace for about a decade when this happened.

It really depends on who is part of the date (i.e., just you and the gal, or a combo date like when you were 13), the exact seating situation (i.e., bar seating, individual chair, booth, couch/windowsill, etc.), and what is the actual activity at the specific part of the date (eating, hanging out looking over a scene, etc.).

If just you and the gal, a booth should have you facing each other - but if it's a combo date, you should be next to her. Pretty much for everything else, you should be next to her, whether it's linearly or circumlocatively (i.e., around a table).

No combo/group dates. Who does that in the early stages after age 16? That's a ridiculous idea.

About 10 years ago is when I heard the rule of no dinner dates in restaurants prior to sex. It can be a difficult plan to enforce but it is so essential. That eliminates the booth problem.

Side by side seating only at a bar.

 

[RBK]

Bar - Beside
Table - Across

Same siders are weird.

 

[jimwho]

I'm clearly the black sheep here. I believe it's simpler to just enjoy each others company. No worrying about boxing her into the corner or keno or making moves, showing her your bulge. Have fun, drink wine, show her your table manners, how you treat the server, banter, watch how each other eats. There's no way she's not going to let you know what she wants. Every single trick I read above. SHE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

 

[member160292]

First date? At a table? Across. Bar? Next to.

The 2 first date fallouts were me sitting next to them when across the bench was available. Finally clicked over 2 years later

 

[BadWatermelon]

Protip: every date I've had sitting at a bar led to a first night lay.

So get her drunk first. Got it.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Bar - Beside
Table - Across

Same siders are weird.

Not same side. If you're at a table circular table, sit perpendicular to her.

Never sit in a booth with her until you've already banged.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Right on. What sane person wants a dude in her lap in a booth or table on a coffee date? Lmao when there is a chair across?
Bar? Different story

Exactly why I’m glad people are responding to this with some nuance lol

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

Sit beside her. Choose a place with a sofa. When you enter, you lead her to the table which has a sofa, you stand to the side and you hold your arm out to direct her to sit down on the sofa, then you sit next to her. You may have to get her to move up a little but after that, it is golden.