when offering to go for a drink at a nice bar is that supplicating?

[drift king]

when i usually pick up HBs in some of the places i pick them up in i assume that when i go for the 'lets go for a drink sometime' i follow on with so and so bar in a really expensive part of town.

this creates a false impression of me i guess cos it tells them that i'm rich and go to nice places and can afford this level of luxury.. when really it's a great place for me to make out with them seeing as i only buy 1 drink then i split with them.

on a 2nd date i usually go for an action date which is free, so my total outlay is minimal. but by creating this false impression/saying things that might be interpreted as being trying to 'win' her over by taking her nice places, does this mean i'm doing it wrong?

i dont do it in a 'lets go for a drink, i know this expensive place in town etc cos im trying to buy you' but could it be perceived that way?

i do this partly because it increases the chance of a 1st date and them not flaking cos they want to see what this fancy place is just for the experience, so if i haven't raised her IL initially i can do so on a date.. i.e. a 2nd chance at it. i know u should rely on your game alone and nothing else, but it can't hurt your chances by doing this.

 

[COD]

dates are for girlfriends..........keep it simple, if she agrees to go., dont matter where u go.

lets say U goto a nice place, huge bill and U find her dull, boring, etc......time and money wasted.

I say hit that first, then if U choose to date her, then take her to a nice place on a special occassion.

FIrst few dates..........keep it simple, no more than 20-40 bucks MAXIMUM.

 

[drift king]

but read up what i said in regards to how much i spend, i only buy 1 drink so my total outlay is really minimal yet im in an expensive bar with such luxury.

i avoid ever getting a huge bill cos we'll split before then, is it still supplicating though? or trying to 'buy' her?

also bear in mind u said if 'she agrees to go' we all know girls flake etc, so by going potentially somewhere nice and expensive it might sway her decision.. i know i know.. she should want u regardless cos of her high interest, but starting out as an afc you're going to make mistakes and can't expect the girl to have super high interest on you, at best above average.. so i thought it would just give you the best chance possible of her not flaking.

 

[drift king]

Yes. The most elliagable bachelors don't need to lay out the expenses to generate interest. She should accept a meet over a drink without any ellaboration on venues and price.

And so far as 'splitting' after one drink in a high end venue, I think this is a bad strategy. It's like inviting a woman out to the most prestigious restaurant in town for a glass of water. It makes you look cheap in the end game.

You're better off spending 10 more bucks in a dive bar.

you're missing my point.. after 1 drink it's already about 45 mins in.. it's a good time to leave the location and go for a brisk walk somewhere, see local tourist attractions etc.. it's in an expensive part of town there's nice things to see.

it's not like going to a prestigious restaurant then ordering a glass of water at all.. why? cos it's a bar.. therefore you're going there to have a drink, 1st dates aren't suppose to be more than an hour unless it's going really really well and even then it's better leave sooner on a high then later.

why would it look cheap? i bought her an expensive drink chatted a little, then it's time to split. i came there to talk to her.. not buy her drinks.

my point is.. if you're still starting out on the dating thing, it might not be easy for some of us to create very high interest off the bat.. so moderate interest is the best we can hope for given our afc tendencies..

i take your point tho that she should agree to the drink before u offer the venue. it may have came across that way cos not only did i offer the venue i asked straight after had she been there without even letting respond to the 'that means we can go for a drink sometime ' line.

certain women subscribe to a high level of maintenance.. if you take her to a dive bar then you're definitely not getting in her panties.. allbeit she prob won't be anything long term but hey if she's a HB a lay is a lay.

 

[drift king]

[/B]

Why? Take her somewhere where you can have fun with her, doesn't have to be an expensive bar...

for some reason ever since i switched from coffee places to expensive bars i've managed to make out with nearly every girl i had a date with..

the empty setting, dim lights nice music makes it perfect for make out possibilities.

allbeit my game has improved since then but it's not just a coincidence.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Don't lie and try to be something your not when dating. You don't need to go to an exspensive bar either. Keep it simple and just have fun.

If you think taking them to a "fancy" place will make them flake less is bullsh!t. They really just want you to spend your money on them. Then, they find out your not your not as rich as you say and they leave your a$$. Don't brag about what you got. As long as you create interest when you first meet her is a less chance of her flaking.

 

[Amante Silvestre 2]

you're missing my point.. after 1 drink it's already about 45 mins in.. it's a good time to leave the location and go for a brisk walk somewhere, see local tourist attractions etc.. it's in an expensive part of town there's nice things to see.

it's not like going to a prestigious restaurant then ordering a glass of water at all.. why? cos it's a bar.. therefore you're going there to have a drink, 1st dates aren't suppose to be more than an hour unless it's going really really well and even then it's better leave sooner on a high then later.

why would it look cheap? i bought her an expensive drink chatted a little, then it's time to split. i came there to talk to her.. not buy her drinks.

my point is.. if you're still starting out on the dating thing, it might not be easy for some of us to create very high interest off the bat.. so moderate interest is the best we can hope for given our afc tendencies..

i take your point tho that she should agree to the drink before u offer the venue. it may have came across that way cos not only did i offer the venue i asked straight after had she been there without even letting respond to the 'that means we can go for a drink sometime ' line.

certain women subscribe to a high level of maintenance.. if you take her to a dive bar then you're definitely not getting in her panties.. allbeit she prob won't be anything long term but hey if she's a HB a lay is a lay.

Do you really think local women are impressed with tourist attractions? Seriously? If I took local women to a tourist trap, I know I would be written off on the spot unless she was from way out of town.

Are you really doing what you're claiming? Because I don't see it working.

The only way I've pulled that sh*t off was on rare occasion when I had an old folk-lore story to tell about the very exact spot I was taking the girl...a story that most people haven't heard. For example, this one local girl I took out has been to a particular stone tower a hundred times. She even partied in it with her frinds over the years. But when I took her there, I had a story about the tower she never heard. And when I told her that story under moonlight, she melted on the spot.

Are you doing that kind of sh*t? Or are you just following a tourist guide? The difference is HUGE.

I know what you're trying to do, man. You're trying to be metropolitan and educational. Classy, even. Nothing wrong with that at all. But that sh*t doesn't float unless you can drop profound things on a woman that they don't expect.

The classy. The expense. The romance. The Price. None of that stuff impresses. It doesn't matter if you have a 45 minute limit on a drink at a certain place. What matters is what you know and what you can reveal. That's when all of the class makes an impression.

What you're doing is just going through the motions.

You're not doing anything f*cking special.

And by the way, I've taken women who own thier own businesses to a dive bar. A lot of them love that sh*t. And yes, I have most definately gotten laid that way.

But hey, man, you've got all your sh*t straight, right? You don't need my advice or anyone else's.

 

[drift king]

Do you really think local women are impressed with tourist attractions? Seriously? If I took local women to a tourist trap, I know I would be written off on the spot unless she was from way out of town.

Are you really doing what you're claiming? Because I don't see it working.

The only way I've pulled that sh*t off was on rare occasion when I had an old folk-lore story to tell about the very exact spot I was taking the girl...a story that most people haven't heard. For example, this one local girl I took out has been to a particular stone tower a hundred times. She even partied in it with her frinds over the years. But when I took her there, I had a story about the tower she never heard. And when I told her that story under moonlight, she melted on the spot.

Are you doing that kind of sh*t? Or are you just following a tourist guide? The difference is HUGE.

I know what you're trying to do, man. You're trying to be metropolitan and educational. Classy, even. Nothing wrong with that at all. But that sh*t doesn't float unless you can drop profound things on a woman that they don't expect.

The classy. The expense. The romance. The Price. None of that stuff impresses. It doesn't matter if you have a 45 minute limit on a drink at a certain place. What matters is what you know and what you can reveal. That's when all of the class makes an impression.

What you're doing is just going through the motions.

You're not doing anything f*cking special.

And by the way, I've taken women who own thier own businesses to a dive bar. A lot of them love that sh*t. And yes, I have most definately gotten laid that way.

But hey, man, you've got all your sh*t straight, right? You don't need my advice or anyone else's.

all im saying is.. that when i used to go on coffee dates they never went well, as soon as i switched to a nice bar, quiet dim lit romantic, i've made out with every girl i took.

the reason i go to this place is not cos it's expensive, but it's cos i can guarantee i'll have the right mood, lights, and be able to get a seat/private booth.. if i go to a dive bar there's a possibility i'll be standing up the whole time. not cool.

i rather pay a little more just to have the insurance of getting a little private area. i dont try to pretend to be rich, i just like going to places which are less busy.

you talk about what im trying to do.. be metropolitan and classy.. that's exactly what it is.. but im just setting the mood.

what if the girl is accustomed to going to nice places, and you take her to a dive bar.. she'll think you're a loser who has no class and who doesn't even respect her enough to take her somewhere half decent.. HOWEVER i agree that if your game is so tight as you say it is.. all of that does not matter cos she'll just be happy to be around you, but im talking about us beginner AFC types who find it difficult to create super high interest.. not everyone is going to be as good at creating high interest as you are remember.. so all im saying is that until you get better at the pick up it's a good idea going down this route.

For your 'cheap' dates you probably end up spending more than I do anyway.. I have a limit of around $10 and it suits me fine. i order her 1 drink and 1 for myself, i expect her to reciprocate and buy me 1, if she doesn't then fine we leave the bar.

 

[drift king]

I suggest you try taking them to a normal place, not neccessarily a coffee shop. Just have a fun time! And afterwards bring her back to yours, you don't have to go for a makeout at the date. I mean if you are going for a date I assume you want to learn more about her and want to get to know her more, not just for a hookup, so it's just a chance to have fun together.

do you have any suggestions?

cos im kinda stumped, i usually have a plan A of going to an expensive quiet dim lit bar cos i try to kiss close on 1st date, plus also i've been LJBF'd too many times on a 1st date that in that environment i'm able to make big moves sooner than if i were in broad daylight in public with people watching.

i usually go for an action 2nd date so i can do less talking.

 

[drift king]

Don't lie and try to be something your not when dating. You don't need to go to an exspensive bar either. Keep it simple and just have fun.

If you think taking them to a "fancy" place will make them flake less is bullsh!t. They really just want you to spend your money on them. Then, they find out your not your not as rich as you say and they leave your a$$. Don't brag about what you got. As long as you create interest when you first meet her is a less chance of her flaking.

im not really lying per se.. i go to the nice bar order her 1 drink then if she dont buy me 1 after i move the date to outside for a brisk stroll/walk around the shops/window shopping.

i agree.. they really just want you to spend your money on them.. however if my game improves in that environment on the date is it not possible to increase her interest?

my reasoning is that i seem to create high interest when i 1st meet, then after the no. close i may make a few mistakes or when i call i might f up a bit and interest level drops a bit, the nice bar is just to remove some element of flaking. although i agree how you talk about it may come across as supplicating i.e. if you're bragging.. i generally try to avoid that but i know it's a thin line.