when life won't cut you a break

[joekerr31]

ok guys, give me a pep talk. this last year has been utterly horrible for me. just everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. i won't get into details because 1) it would take to long and 2) they don't really matter.

hit me with some sage advice on how one should react to life when the hits keep coming and you can't catch a break to save your life.

 

[reset]

Wait you're always the one who gives this advice. Without details--I don't know. Hopefully you still have the essentials going for you.

 

[guru1000]

A little cut and paste from the other thread.

Power of Perception

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In every man's life there comes a time of ultimate challenge- a time when every resource we have is tested. A time when our faith,values, patience, compassion, perseverance and tenacity are pushed to the limits.

Some people use such tests as opportunities. Others allow these experiences to destroy them. I used to wonder what creates the difference in the way we respond to adversity. What creates a leader and producer? What creates failure other than lack of work discipline? Why is it we have some people with joyous lives in spite of almost every significant adversity and others who would seem to have it all live lives of self pity and depression.

I for one have had my fair share of adversities. Imprisonment, loss of wealth, loss of status, and betrayal. Despite, I take it with a grain of salt and keep a great outlook to the world. Yet there are others , that have a wonderful life that live in despair, futility, defeat and hopelessness.

What is the difference in the way we think?

The difference is our perceptions. The way we communicate with ourselves and the action we take from this communication. People who succeed in any arena do not have fewer problems than people who fail. The only people without problems are ten feet under. Life's events do not determine who fails and succeeds. Our ACTION based on our perception is what makes the DIFFERENCE.

It is often darkest before dawn.

PERSEVERANCE will always win. Take it on the CHIN and keep moving forward.

With FORTITUDE, you will always remain VICTORIOUS.

 

[lookyoung]

Well in order for us to give adequate advice you have to tell us what it has to do with?

Money, Woman, Family, death, health, depression. Whats the problem joekker? You have supported and helped plenty off people on this webstie including myself. Now let us know whats going on so we could help you.

 

[reset]

"i've found, and its been a tough lesson to learn, that when life is sabotaging me on one front, often its really just life's way of pushing me in a different direction. and when i embrace that and go with the flow, things work out for the better (sometimes it takes a little time though, hence why patience is a virtue).

.....i've found the whole point of life is change. if you can learn to get excited about the unknown life becomes a completely different experience. most peopel are scared to death about what lies around the corner and would rather never turn the corner. whereas i believe the most interesting element to life is not knowing whats around the corner and then going and checking it out - life becomes one big adventure then."

some dude wrote this to me....

 

[Mr.Positive]

I was watching the move "The Edge" last night, with Anthony Hopkins. Good movie, about 3 guys getting hunted by a bear...things go from bad to worse. Anyway, this post makes me think of a quote from the movie...

What one man can do..another can do.

If you are sailing and the seas get stormy, you have two choices:

1) Take down all your sails and let the storm pass..OR

2) Sail right through it. Sail towards the goal of calm seas and a serene peaceful island with hot hula girls.

I met a guy recently, who's become a good friend. I've always thought that this guy was unique in the way he handled himself, and had control over his life.

So, I brought over a six pack of beer and picked his brain for a few hours..

Several years ago his life took a drastic change. He was in a car accident and was paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors told him he would never walk again, and his family and friends tried to help him, but pitied him. He said nothing is worse than having people pity you.

He took a two year road trip away from everything. He meditated, got back with nature and his spirituality. He came back from this trip walking again, standing tall..

What one man can do, another man can do. Remember that when things get tough.

Best of luck Joekerr.

 

[KontrollerX]

Joekerr in many ways you are the heart and driving force of this forum.

You seem to have an endless backup supply of positive energy and are a true inspiration to us all.

It is trying times like these that test a man such as yourself.

Will the world defeat you or will your beliefs and your positivity overcome it all?

I think your beliefs and positivity are stronger than the world's negative influence on your life and you are going through a bad stretch we all go through in life.

The key through the bad times is to never give up and never stop fighting and hell maybe part of fighting this kind of battle is taking a vacation of some sort if recharging and re-assessing is what you need.

 

[Phyzzle]

Take your own advice, and put your life in perspective. Just how bad is your situation, really?
As bad as this? http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html

 

[reset]

Yeah what the hell dude? This isn't like you. You usually give but I've never seen you have problems of your own you wanted to share, and you still don't give details.

So, all I can think to do is to send you your own stuff.

 

[romangod]

ok guys, give me a pep talk. this last year has been utterly horrible for me. just everything that can go wrong has gone wrong. i won't get into details because 1) it would take to long and 2) they don't really matter.

hit me with some sage advice on how one should react to life when the hits keep coming and you can't catch a break to save your life.

Joekerr31 ................ I agree with others here that you are one of the gems of the Mature Men forum.

If you are not catching any breaks then it is happening for a reason. It actually might be a blessing in disguise in the long run. You're a good guy and good things happen to good people. If you could be more specific about your situation I'm sure many here would be more than willing to give you some arm's length perspective. Now is a chance for others to give back to you what you've given to many. Cheers!

 

[KarmaSutra]

Close your eyes and take a deep breath . . .















. . . one more time . . .










Ok. Tell me what happened that has you so foccoccled.

 

[reset]

Talk dammit! Out with it!

 

[Mr. Me]

Aw, gee. When I saw Joekerr had posted a thread titled, "when life won't cut you a break", here I thought it was him posting another inspirational thought or two or three.

Because, it was just a couple of days ago that I was let down, again, by life's circumstances, as it happens from time to time, along with life's victories. Of course, we tend to focus more on the set backs and disappointments than we do on the successes.

I realized the thing to do is persevere, and realized too, this should be easy to do because... well, it's what I've always done. It's a given by now!

One thing to get over the hump may be this: we have a bad run and it seems it fosters more of the same, but if there's anything constant in life, it's that life isn't constant. Change happens. There are ups and downs and returns to the median. Yesterday's events, though they may seem to be a trend, are actually not a trend at all. A year of bad circumstances can change in a day to a year of wonderful fortune.

However, as we go through periods of difficulty, we may unknowingly find ourselves viewing the world in a negative, "more of the same" way. When that happens, everything becomes tainted and more difficult to overcome, because we become blinded to it in this way:

When all we see are the bad things that are happening around us, we do not see the positive opportunities also present, much like if all we see are the dark rain clouds, we miss that there's a bright sun behind them waiting to shine.

If we're blinding ourselves to those positive opportunities, then we can't take advantage of them when they happen, only allowing the negatives to happen, and perpetuate our down cycle.

There's a book entitled, "Feeling Good - The New Therapy" by Dr. David D. Burns. Pick it up. You'll learn about the types of negatives reasonings/perceptions ("cognitive distortions") our minds commonly engage in that serve to depress us. Learning what they are can help us to think more objectively about ourselves and our circumstances and see where we err in reason, so as to think more constructively in our lives. Kind of Zen.

 

[Mr. Wise]

Something just hit me when Mr. Positive mentioned his friend that was able to walk again after being paralyzed. Well as I write this, a few of my friends are packing to go on a week long fishing trip. They fly out today. Here I am stuck at work unable to take off, reading this forum, educating myself on "how to handle women better" when Mr. Positive's story hit me. You see one of the guys that was supposed to go on that fishing trip can't make it because two weeks ago he was injured in a bodysurfing accident in which he is currently parlyzed from the waist down. He was sitting at the dinner table that evening when all of a sudden he lost feeling in his lower extremities. He wasn't working, has no insurance and is now wheelchair bound. When I found out about him last night, I was literally in shock. It left me wondering about all the stupid things that's currently upsetting me and wondering how such petty things can place so much weight on my happiness. I'm almost embarrassed by it. My friends name is Todd - god bless.

 

[LoneSilver]

Sometimes the best advice givers need to be tested in the very advice they give day in and day out.

Without a testimony the advice is only a written work or spoken words of influence being only half assed inspired in that the one seeking the advice won't march on without the crown being seen on the advice givers head.

Setbacks have been my biggest pain the past decade...... a years worth isn't sh*t to overcome let that inspire you on to victory.

In the mean time in your darkest moment you will hear a non spoken whisper in your soul that will say, this way, this way come this way and it will be up to you to walk to that light of truth that cries out night and day in your soul to open a new door of spiritual enlightment and when you enter this enlightment of truth then you'll have a testimony to share to the hurting and fearful.

March on your only half begun the journey.

LoneSilver

 

[reset]

well I hope it's safe to say joekerr is not in prison right now, since he's posting. Build up from there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm not really religious but there's something that Mother Theresa said which may help:

“I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

 

[reset]

No bloody victims lying on your carpet right now, right?

(right?)

 

[Juando]

Basics:

1. Good sleep, try to get quality and quantity. Life always looks much better.

2. Good nutrition. Give your body what it needs, spoil yourself for a treat.

3. Exercise. Yoga, aerobic, the works. Out in nature if possible.

4. Good friends, the kind you trust, who nurture you, and in person if possible,
regularly, to be treated as essential as food and water. Find new ones if need be.

5. Check in with Alan Watts to get your perspective recalibrated. Life is a dance, you are the dancer, and this is your time.

6. Remove toxic people and situations from your life.

7. Get a girlfriend, one who is cute, funny, patient, cuddly, and a good cook.
(send her to me when you're done, please).

 

[MacAvoy]

Here's my 2 cents. Like Joeker says it doesn't matter the details. However I think you either have it in you to pull through or you don't. You were either given those skills when you were raised or you were lucky and were born with it.

I've gone through some rough phases in my life, but nothing compared to ONE rough patch that I went through, my world was literally ripped apart and when that happened you could have fed the world to me on a silver platter and it wouldn't have made a difference, because life dealt me some cards that I never imagined anyone having to deal with. It didn't matter what anyone said. The only thing that got me through it was the belief in myself and the knowledge that I am entitled to live a better life than what was dealt to me.

I think you need the fortitude going into it if you hope to get out of it. It literally took me years to get out of it. The strength comes from within, for some other people that don't have the fortitude to believe in themselves turn to a belief into something higher than themselves because it gives them a sense of hope that they can over come anything.

However my belief is in yourself. So my only advice is to find something that you can relate to and that will help you get on track. But its up to you, nothing that I do or anyone says can pull you out of it.

One of the things for me besides my belief in myself was a line from the Rocky Balboa movie

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that"