When It Works Out Too Well

[bigneil]

Summary of past 6 months:

Day 0) - Met her in late May and it was love at first sight (she is age 21).
Day 1) - First date around June 1 and she was especially clingy, but being half my age I drew some strange looks and it was awkward.
Day 2) - I avoided her and bumped into her in July, and avoided her again.
Day 3) - Second date in early August. It was really a perfect date and goodnight kiss.
Day 4) - She flew to see me in early October after I moved away (first time we had sex).
Day 5) - She bought a bus ticket to see me in late October when I was within 200 mi.
Day 6) - She flew to see me for Thanksgiving and our 6 month anniversary (Nonstop sex for 2 days).

Now, 1 week after she had her first orgasm with me, after a mere 5 dates, having seen her on only 7 occasions, and just 8 weeks after we started having sex, and with her now 500 miles away, she called to say she "wants something more". I mean she kept me on the phone for an hour saying she wants something more. She was crying much of the time.

I told her she is way too young (she will be 22 in January) but she seems to be giving me the ultimatum.

What would you do in this situation?

 

[BraddH]

Enjoy her. However you feel. Our opinions should not matter. I see no problems with the age case, rather something to do with your ego.

I dont see why I would not want to enjoy that much younger woman at your age.

 

[Serenity]

This won't end well! She's not only young, she's also immature (clingy, careless, irresponsible). Do you have any confidence whatsoever that this can realistically work out? You're keeping count as if you are already in a relationship, which you in all truth aren't. She probably has no clue what she's actually doing by saying "I want something more", and neither do you which is probably why you're posting it here.

I would carefully think it over and probably conclude that it's a bad idea, then I would call saying it won't work out. I would think one thing and one thing only in making that decision, is it a person I humbly believe I could live a lifetime with? Because it's a complete fvcking waste of time wanting to have a relationship knowing that down the road it's going to end in a world of pain.

For your own good, let it go. Your doubt is a pretty clear signal, you probably know best why you hesitate.

 

[bigneil]

Grewd, hasn't it already worked out?

I think it has to go a year before one considers marrying, but we're half way there and it's been remarkably smooth so far.

She's not bad either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wiDgj5nDnk

 

[VladPatton]

Too young, she doesn't know what the hell she wants. Bon-vo-yagee!!

 

[logicallefty]

If you want to continue then continue. Just protect your heart above all, and keep your frame with her as strong as ever. No matter how good things may seem to get with her don't let your heart become stomped rotten tomato.

 

[GS750]

I'd say if you're having fun then good for you. But I wouldn't expect a LTR out of this girl. Especially if its long distance.

 

[zekko]

Yeah, the long distance thing is the biggest problem I see. They pretty much never work.

 

[mikey2012]

I think it's trouble. She's giving you drama already . Just have a good time then move on . I don't think anything serious with her will work out.

 

[Jair213]

thats her on the youtube vid? dammnn that a'sssss.. id do some serious damage enjoy it

 

[hudpes]

I love that however irrelevant, we have a visual

What I would do would depend on my emotional attachment and goals with her. Family or banging? Do I plan on having a family... with her? With someone else but I still want to enjoy her until I meet someone more suitable? What do you want, what do you expect of her?

 

[zekko]

She's not bad either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wiDgj5nDnk

Wow, she likes to dress skimpy.
I know you like to date strippers, is she a stripper also?
Maybe you could turn her out and you could be her pimp!

 

[pyros]

you think it is going well...?
you had six dates in six months! what da f-uck is that?

You should have had more than 48 dates already if it was going good.

 

[sylvester the cat]

you think it is going well...?
you had six dates in six months! what da f-uck is that?

You should have had more than 48 dates already if it was going good.

lol. another 6 dates and OP thinks they'll be ok to marry. :crackup:

I wouldn't put money on this one. in six years you'll be 50 whereas she'll still be in her mid twenties.

 

[Serenity]

Grewd, hasn't it already worked out?

I think it has to go a year before one considers marrying, but we're half way there and it's been remarkably smooth so far.

She's not bad either:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wiDgj5nDnk

Sigh, she's around my age and I personally wouldn't do it after 7 occasions. Just the fact that you're here because you need someone to tell you what to do is silly. You asked for opinions, you received opinions.

 

[dasein]

Google "limerence." She is trying to get herself out of the uncertainty of the limerence response. If you allow her to do that at this juncture, by giving her what she -says- she wants, attraction will fade and bad behavior begin. Be affectionate and kind to her when face-to-face, but don't give an inch on exclusivity until she gives you an outright ultimatum. Then make your decision, never at the first sign of tears when they are well-hooked. That's all show and a test to see if you are a pushover playing alpha IME. Make her earn you in many ways over time. Without saying so expressly, make milestones in her good behavior the conditions for your being willing to move forward. Never just give away the store because you think that's what she wants. Stop the hour long phone calls btw. Be proactive with contact and have set limits in place that you control. Good luck.

 

[Rainman4707]

lol. another 6 dates and OP thinks they'll be ok to marry. :crackup:

I wouldn't put money on this one. in six years you'll be 50 whereas she'll still be in her mid twenties.

:crackup:

 

[bigneil]

Wow, she likes to dress skimpy.
I know you like to date strippers, is she a stripper also?
Maybe you could turn her out and you could be her pimp!

Yes, this was best-case scenario stripper story. Meeting a girl half your age who does it for free and who falls in love.

The week I met the movie star and the Lexi lookalike and the Bikini model, I met her too. It was love at first sight and she gave me her number without my asking. She called me the next night (always the best sign IMO). Note that I tried to blow her off because she was too young. This is what I call setting the hook and seems key in any relationship where you win out. Ultimately, I left all the other women for her, and many others.

Remember: the girl only asks you for a commitment if it means you have to give up options, not if it means she does.

BTW she wouldn't have worn any underwear in that video if I hadn't insisted. I really didn't want another porn video, but captured her nonetheless.

you think it is going well...?
you had six dates in six months! what da f-uck is that?

You should have had more than 48 dates already if it was going good.

Given that I've lived in 4 cities (3 of the biggest 11 in the US), all in those 6 months, it's gone very well yes. Every date featured staying in one of the best hotels and/or dining at one of the best restaurants (all tax deductible during my business trip). She travelled 200+ miles on 3 occasions just to see me.

Google "limerence." She is trying to get herself out of the uncertainty of the limerence response. If you allow her to do that at this juncture, by giving her what she -says- she wants, attraction will fade and bad behavior begin.

Great point! I have been laying low. I am prepared it to be over and already met several other women in my new city.