When girlfriend wants to be the top priority.

[Brosy]

Perhaps I've got the wrong end of the stick, but is the underlying question here, why doesn't a man allow a woman to become his whole life?

This is probably the most common reason I've seen friends relationships go down the sh!tter due to absolute loss of respect.

There is a reason women can probably make their man no.1 priority and it is linked heavily to the fact they can also turn their "deep" emotions on a sixpence.

As you have eluded to with the logic stuff, we are fundamentally different creatures. Distractions like ambitions and goals are a form of male emotional self preservation, conscious or not.

 

[Syrio]

Ok, I'm going to be blunt - some of the posts on this thread are so stupid they literally hurt to read. I won't mention any names...

But anyway, I would say the simple answer to your question is YES. At some point the woman will (or rather should, from an evolutionary perspective) become the most important thing in your life.

All this talk about men focusing on the "logical" things and women focusing on things that supposedly aren't logical is ridiculous and stupid. EVERYTHING is logical. The way women behave and the way men behave are both equally 100% logical. Just because you don't understand why somebody acts a certain way doesn't mean they are acting irrationally or illogically.

So my point is that it is completely logical for you and the other person to both place each other as the most important things in your lives once you've reached a certain point in your relationship. The logic behind this is evolutionary. The fittest men will survive and pass on their genes, and the fittest men are the ones who will eventually stay with, and protect, the woman carrying their children. Honestly "game" is great and all - it helps with knowing how to interact with women, but the best decision-making tool that everyone has in their arsenal is their gut. If this were not the case, we humans would not have made it very long.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Mods, can we do something about this troll?

Yes, we can. We can stop feeding the trolls.

We have here a 19 year old kid sitting at her keyboard looking for attention, and so many guys are writing back these long dissertations as if their words are going to make some kind of sense to her.

Next will be the guys turning on each other. That's the endless cycle around here.

Thus far she hasn't broken any forum rules, but I honestly think we should be smart enough to avoid stepping into her traps. That's not directed at you, z, just a general statement for whomever has an ear to hear.

 

[Olivia]

To syrio: You say "So my point is that it is completely logical for you and the other person to both place each other as the most important things in your lives once you've reached a certain point in your relationship."

So your opinion is no matter what, after a point in a deep relationship, the other should be the most important, and there is no question about ambition being the mans top priority anymore. After a certain point, he should relax and spent more time with his fellow lover, after a certain point she becomes the most important. So I will ask my question. Is this how you think they are teaching here? If I am right, they are teaching that no matter what ambition, dreams must be the most important thing in a mans life.

To moderator: you say "We have here a 19 year old kid sitting at her keyboard looking for attention"

Yes! Help this little kid who is a little bit loss in her life. Or is it some new special trait to ignore lost kids? They are being ignored in the school by the teachers their whole childhood. So how will you help them by ignoring them more? If the teachers made a mistake and ignored them, you should learn from that mistake.

"Next will be the guys turning on each other." It will. Do not worry, I will make sure that happens. Or is there a rule against that too? You should make a list of rules, and if there is one already, please give me an email about it. I simply cannot find it. And is there a rule that people should ignore someone who is allowed to come here but does not speak sense? Now if I was not allowed here, ignoring me would be understandable. But the very fact that I am allowed here means that there is something that I can offer, so why ignore me? So if there is not one already, please make one. And make sure that you put there that if a 19 year old kid who is looking for attention comes here and she is lost, help him! Do not ignore him. Only if you have deep compassion for the kid.. otherwise ignore, no problem.

You have already stepped into my trap. This is not a big trap; a small one. You will not be able to see it, untill it gets bigger - run! Run away-fast. Is there a rule against making traps too? Whenever you see my name in the forum.. Run! Do not touch it, do not click it, otherwise.. you will be trapped. And make sure that you don't hate me for it.. otherwise I will be haunting you the whole day - That is also a trap. I think they teach trapping women here very much. I will be testing everyone of your guys logic. I will be making them fight eachother, to see whos logic is the strongest. Now if they all have same logic, there is no problem. But I am very sure that the new ones that comes here have a different logic and understand than the guys who have been in dj forum a bit longer. So what is the problem? I will be challenging those weak guys logic and they will break. And it is good that they will break, otherwise how can the new, better come in? I will have to break the old so that the new can be born. So you should thank me, I am doing this forum a great service. I will be breaking the old, the death, the worthless that made them suffer, I will break it so that you guys can imprint the new one. Do you have a rule against that too?

 

[Syrio]

Olivia,

I think you partly grasped what I was saying but not entirely. Maybe I didn't explain it 100% accurately, so let me try again:

Everybody's top priority is to survive and reproduce. Whether you consciously think about this or not (which most people do not) it is still the case. What I am saying is a guy placing a woman as their "top priority" will at some point be the best course of action in order to ensure their survival, reproduction, and survival of their offspring.

I would say priorities for a guy should probably start out as ambition when they are younger, they should turn to a woman when they are ready to commit to marriage, and as soon as children are born, the top priority should be those children. Obviously this isn't the case for everyone, but from a survival/reproductive standpoint this makes the most sense.

As far as what people teach on this forum, they seem to tend to say that a man's priorities should be their own ambition and self-betterment. I think that people are usually referring to men who are not settling down though, and to be honest even so, the vast majority of the posts on this website are pretty stupid in my opinion. You can tell some people here have no idea what they are talking about just by their writing styles. That's not to say, however, that there aren't a decent number of pretty intelligent people writing on this website.

But anyway yes, I would agree that what you said is what most people are teaching here, but I would also say that they are wrong. Lots of people saying something doesn't make it true... especially on an internet forum.

 

[Deep Dish]

Atom Smasher:
Next will be the guys turning on each other. That's the endless cycle around here.

Thus far she hasn’t broken any forum rules, but I honestly think we should be smart enough to avoid stepping into her traps.

Speaking of which, did anyone else receive a private message from Olivia? I don’t divulge what people tell me in private messages, but let’s just say it was part of her game. If anyone else did, it probably said the same thing, so you know what I mean.

 

[floydb25]

Syrio: I think you missed the point. It wasn't men vs. women - it was attraction vs. logic. The two do NOT mix, and choices aren't (initially) made this way.

Further, much of what occured in this scenerio is common. She focused on, pursued, gave her heart to, and tried to change him AS it wasn't happening that way. That's the point. She got caught up in the challenge, and was doing all of the work - then ended up heart-broken when his priorities never changed. But she still went through with it, and focused on him because he wasn't on her. That's the whole idea of being a challenge, having other priorities, putting yourself first, being independent, and otherwise displaying strong value. It protects you, AND attracts them. Plus, being the natural order of how things SHOULD be - for you.

Now, for most guys on here - they do exactly what she did, and end up in the same "lower" position as her - only to end up heart-broken... like her. That's because being a co-dependant, obsessed, all-in-love pursuer doesn't attract **** - it annoys people, makes you look weak and needy, and signals desperation - not value. I can GUARANTEE that, if the tables were turned - she would have never been attracted to him in the first place, or even taken it this far. At best, he'd be RIGHT where she is at the moment - and she wouldn't give a ****.

As well, it's not HEALTHY or NORMAL to act like this. It's getting caught up in the moment, being a dumbass, not seeing things for how they really are, having a vision of how you want them to be... blah blah. She wasn't in love with ****... she was merely attracted to him based on his behaviors, and how things could have been. But most people don't know the difference, since they don't think this way... they go by what attracts them FIRST - then think and rationalize; usually make up excuses to keep being dumbasses and clinging onto false hope, and all the usual nonsense. This is NOT a position you want to be in - and again, it's not normal, healthy, OR realistic. It's falling in love with a vision of who you think they are, and/or how you want things to be. IE, Infatuation and pedestalization.

Even think about your situations with women, or for most guys in general... those you like the most never want you; those you couldn't care less about never leave you alone. This is all over the place; a common scenerio for both genders. That's because you try, focus, and pursue harder with the former (not to mention, act nicer, and give more to) - and it doesn't work. This, despite complaining about bishes and *******s who don't want you, and all the horrible things they do and are... while still wanting them.

This is the nature of attraction.

 

[Trump]

Have you guys faced this? We are all learning that we are the prize, we have better things to do, girlfriend is not the most important thing in our life; the dream and ambition is. Now if the relatinoship starts to go very deep, and commitment is very high. She now starts to ask you whetever she is the most important thing in your life, because for her you are the most important in her life, so naturally she wants the same mutual commitment. Now if you put your job or ambition higher than her, it might hurt her very much, disturb her, and there is not really a point to break a very meaningful relationship that might possibly turn into marriage and a long lifetime relationship for a job or a ambition. Or is there?

A girl will never be able to understand what is so great, valuable in ambition.

Will you just blatantly tell her in the face: "No, you are not the most important thing in my life, I live for something greater than you - or far greater." That would simply hurt her so much, propaply will search for a guy who likes her as much as she likes him

Don't be so dramatic bro. If a girl asks if she is the most important thing in your life, you are doing something wrong in the first place. She has to feel it at the same time you are working to make a living, but she also has know if she wants to find herself or be with a 6'1 adventurer, you can say goodbye anytime.

No, a girl doesn't care about ambition and trying and goals and all that crap. A girl cares about here and now. You entertain her in the present, you have done your job, and that is ALL that matters. What girl is going to waste their time with you on something you MIGHT accomplish 10 YEARS down the road?

I'd never get the thing "you are the prize, not her." You can be the prize but you better back it up with something. To be the prize because you are male is ridiculous.

 

[iamnobody]

Olivia, honey, you should seek help. Did your BF left you for another girl or are you just bored?

 

[Olivia]

Olivia, honey, you should seek help. Did your BF left you for another girl or are you just bored?

Just bored.

 

[iamnobody]

Just wondering, anyone else received hatemail from Olivia? It's hilarious.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Banned.

 

[sop2]

Yo guys, got rules? I cant find them anywhere. And also what is considered troll, insults. Because I don´t think I insulted anyone. And also I don't think I trolled anyone.

 

[sop2]

Just wondering, anyone else received hatemail from Olivia? It's hilarious.

You seem to hate me very much! Will you be cool if I leave this forum? Simply tell me, no need to make up ishes.

 

[sop2]

To moderator: I have asked for the rules for 3 days! and you just ban me, without warnings, without giving the rules. How am I supposed to know what you accept here and what you disagree here.

 

[sop2]

So please give me the rules, canoot find them. Requested - propably 4th time.

 

[j0504s]

Banned.

Banned will make her dance

 

[Deep Dish]

Hey "Olivia," why did you register in June, when you were registered in October? How many other accounts do you have? That in itself can be worthy of a second ban.

And in response to your latest private message, stop playing clueless. You're not fooling us.

 

[j0504s]

Hey "Olivia," why did you register in June, when you were registered in October? How many other accounts to do you have? That in itself can be worthy of a second ban.

And in response to your latest private message, stop playing clueless. You're not fooling us.

As I have private msgs too and even emailed the email on the blog and its not urs second ban in it way mods do awayy with this fraud

I have a feeling this is sageproduct....if it is after all the help u got from this site this is wat u do...ungrateful

 

[sop2]

Now this account was made in 2012.. I simply did not remember the acc after many months so I never really even remember that I created this one. So I created a new one. And I did try to create a new one after being banned by this email that I have with this accound and so it informed me that there is already an accound with this email.

And for messages. I have simply tried to be nice to everyone. Simply ask them. I have messaged many of these forum memebrs, simply saying the following: "hello.. wats up boi?"

That was simply my message, trying to make friends. What is wrong with that?

For Deep Dish, I dont even remember if it was you, but for someone I was simply explaining what my talks was about, since someone condeminated me about my talks being hard to read and long.

And for Jo, i think I didn message you too, the trying to be friend message, nothing much, just simply asking every people I feel like asking.. asking how they are, whats up? Not much