When Friends Become More ?!

[jamesw82]

Hey

I'm friends with a HB9 whos in a relationship, a bad one, anyway, I know were not mean't to hit on girls in relationships, but shes always saying im cute, looking gd etc, she wants to go for lunch with me on Tuesday, what do you reckon?

I do c&f, cos thats me anyway, and when I do it, she gets flustered and really responds well to it..

I dont know if I should, just be happy with the friendship, or keep tapping her up and seeing other girls, and be there when it all goes t*ts up with this current guy?

I don't think i'm in danger of being a LJBF, but don't wanna force her into anything with this current guy.

Your thoughts, as ever lads, are welcomed !!!

 

[DJDamage]

You are already in the LJBF zone or getting very close to it.

Never accept a date from a girl. You make the date. Besides Lunch date are usually reserved for friends (you), you want to schedule a dinner date (or forget the whole dinner thing and do an action date, and see how she reacts to that).

If you want her then you won't be happy in the friendship. You are already developing Oneitis so you better be trying to hooking up with other girls.

Even when women are in a relationship and keep telling you its a bad one, the fact of the matter is that they are so into the guy that they let him treat them like crap, while get their emotional love side of it from sitting down and talking about it to some AFC (could this be you?)

 

[TinyDancer]

Darling, I don't see how you can win with the situation how it is.
As it is right now, you will either be LJBF'd, or be the guy she cheats on her boyfriend with (and if you eventually become her boyfriend, you'll probably be another guy she cheats on).

In order for things to work out, her situation with her boyfriend needs to change. Specifically, they need to break up.

Until that happens you need to stop hanging out with her one-on-one and listening to her whine about her boyfriend. You are the classic emotional tampon. You're basically helping her to stay with a boyfriend who doesn't take care of her emotional needs by taking care of them yourself. Guess who gets to take care of her physical needs? Not you.

From now on you must do your best to distance yourself from the relationship with her and her boyfriend. It's not your deal. Even when it all goes to pieces you'd do best to wait a while and let her work out the fact that he isn't what's best for her. It would be horrible to catch her on the rebound only to have her go back to her ex-boyfriend because she 'isn't over him'. Your best bet would be to just step up the kino a little bit and work damn hard to avoid the friendzone.

Continue to hang out with her, but only in a group situation. Do some good c&f and light kino on all the girls in the group just to keep her eyes open to you as a prospect for romantic interest, but also to make her wonder. Most definitely continue to see other girls.

 

[jamesw82]

****This was posted in response to the first response I had *****

Hey,

Sorry didn't word that well at all, I asked her to go for lunch, and she accepted and has been on about it ever since...

I thought a lunch date was more informal that a dinner date, you know in the bible you get told to do coffee etc, well thats what I was gunning for...

How can I get this situation turned round then if you feel i'm close to LJBF.. I don't really think I am (See original post)

I know its in the bible etc, about not letting them tell you stuff about their relationship, I haven't, she's had the odd whinge, but nothing more really, yesterday her bf said he thought she dressed like a wh**e..

I'm struggling to not be interested in hearing her emotional stuff cos I really dig this girl, and yeah care about her, don't berate me for this, some specific advice would be of more use..

I've dated two other girls this week, she knows about it too, and i've held my cards close to my chest about them when she asks..

Where now?

 

[jamesw82]

Originally posted by TinyDancer

In order for things to work out, her situation with her boyfriend needs to change. Specifically, they need to break up.

Until that happens you need to stop hanging out with her one-on-one and listening to her whine about her boyfriend. You are the classic emotional tampon. You're basically helping her to stay with a boyfriend who doesn't take care of her emotional needs by taking care of them yourself. Guess who gets to take care of her physical needs? Not you.

From now on you must do your best to distance yourself from the relationship with her and her boyfriend. It's not your deal. Even when it all goes to pieces you'd do best to wait a while and let her work out the fact that he isn't what's best for her. It would be horrible to catch her on the rebound only to have her go back to her ex-boyfriend because she 'isn't over him'. Your best bet would be to just step up the kino a little bit and work damn hard to avoid the friendzone.

Continue to hang out with her, but only in a group situation. Do some good c&f and light kino on all the girls in the group just to keep her eyes open to you as a prospect for romantic interest, but also to make her wonder. Most definitely continue to see other girls.

Thats cool, thanks, this girls kinda under my skin though, we work at the same place, different floors too, so distancing myself could be kinda hard, she emails me alot, I often delay responses etc

I'm trying to change so much, and guys strike me down for being AFC, but i'm getting parts nailed, C&F, Kino, i've got, but I'm an emotional person I really struggle to show I don't care, because I have a big heart and do..

I don't want to come last anymore though, I'm attractive, tall, am getting toned and muscular, but I can't deliver this kinda ruthlessness that the girls seem to feed off..

I'm sure I can't be alone..

 

[jamesw82]

***BUMP***

C'mon guys and girls, please check my post out and add something if u feel u can bring something worthwhile...

 

[TinyDancer]

Originally posted by jamesw82
Thats cool, thanks, this girls kinda under my skin though, we work at the same place, different floors too, so distancing myself could be kinda hard, she emails me alot, I often delay responses etc

I'm trying to change so much, and guys strike me down for being AFC, but i'm getting parts nailed, C&F, Kino, i've got, but I'm an emotional person I really struggle to show I don't care, because I have a big heart and do..

I don't want to come last anymore though, I'm attractive, tall, am getting toned and muscular, but I can't deliver this kinda ruthlessness that the girls seem to feed off..

I'm sure I can't be alone..

Really try to be as busy as possible, or at least appear that way. If she emails you a lot try to respond only once for every two or three emails that she sends you, and be sure to keep them short. Since you work in the same place it would be easy for you to invite her out in a group setting. So instead of responding to her emails with a drawn out analysis of her relationship with her boyfriend try

"So sorry. Swamped with stuff to do. A bunch of people and I are going out after work, wanna come along? X time, X place. Maybe see you there."

I would also try not to see it as being ruthless, but rather just reevaluating priorities. If you feel you have a big heart, think about where it could best be used. Probably not comforting one individual girl's feelings. So volunteer places. It will take up time, allow you to meet people, and make you feel good. You would be helping many more people serving lunch to the homeless on Tuesday than you would by spending it listening to one girl's problems. Just make yourself as busy as possible. Remember Scarcity increases demand.

 

[Lost In Translation]

ok you have to make a simple choice :

option 1. keep doing what you are doing and be LJBF ( maybe you already are )

option 2. follow the advice these dj's give you and hope it's not too late



ok now i am going to throw stuff at you.....

DUCK


you think a lunch date is better than a dinner date ?

friends have lunch.

DJ's have dinner. ( coffee shop crap might be an exception, i am a street pimp so i got no idea about coffee dates and normal $hit that normal dj's do )

daylight is bad.

i avoid it like a vampire.

i have only f*cked 3 chicks this year in the daylight away from my house and it has been in the back seat of my car and all of them have been FREAKS. Freaks aside night time sets the mood for sex on a date.

just curious who is paying for lunch ?

i get a sick feeling it's you

I know were not mean't to hit on girls in relationships

where the hell did you get this stupid idea ???

and your chick isn't even happy in her current relationship !

she is on the prowl

my advice, only b*tches i don't touch are married b*tches and girlfriends of police/mafia/bikers other than that bring it on


I dont know if I should, just be happy with the friendship, or keep tapping her up and seeing other girls, and be there when it all goes t*ts up with this current guy?

well my fellow dj WHAT DO YOU WANT ?

sounds like you want her for your own

make up your fu**ing mind lol

ok. ALWAYS see other girls.

be there when it goes t*ts up with her current bf ?

it is t*ts up. she is shopping around.

be there for her ? um... like a security blanket ?

like a tissue ?

oh you mean like an emotional tampon.

too late bro. you are doing it.

ok i have vast experience with chicks with boyfriends.

i wish i could meet nice single girls but somehow 70% my b*tches have boyfriends when i meet them

SHE WILL NOT LEAVE HIM while she has YOU to listen to her bull$hit about her boyfriend.

while she has you to wine and dine her ( lunch )

while she has you for a shoulder to cry on.

the other DJ's gave you some real gold :

focus on what they said carefully.

Quote - DJDamage
Even when women are in a relationship and keep telling you its a bad one, the fact of the matter is that they are so into the guy that they let him treat them like crap, while get their emotional love side of it from sitting down and talking about it to some AFC (could this be you?)

YES IT IS YOU !

Quote- TinyDancer
In order for things to work out, her situation with her boyfriend needs to change. Specifically, they need to break up.

Until that happens you need to stop hanging out with her one-on-one and listening to her whine about her boyfriend. You are the classic emotional tampon. You're basically helping her to stay with a boyfriend who doesn't take care of her emotional needs by taking care of them yourself. Guess who gets to take care of her physical needs? Not you.

From now on you must do your best to distance yourself from the relationship with her and her boyfriend. It's not your deal. Even when it all goes to pieces you'd do best to wait a while and let her work out the fact that he isn't what's best for her. It would be horrible to catch her on the rebound only to have her go back to her ex-boyfriend because she 'isn't over him'. Your best bet would be to just step up the kino a little bit and work damn hard to avoid the friendzone.

yes she will not break up while she has YOU to FEED her emotional needs. meanwhile her boyfriend fu**s her a$$ off every night.


i break it down to a HO like this. CALL me when you want to do something. something = hook up. i make it very clear that i am a man of ACTION. none of this friends bull$hit with women for me. life is too short to allow yourself to be used as an emotional tampon for every woman who is unhappy in their relationship.

thats most women ! you have been warned !

do not allow them access to your reality unless they know the GO

my GO or program is = hook up and be one of my b*tches

or call me when you finally get rid of your boyfriend and you are ready for a real man.

until then save the DRAMA for your MAMA.




Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: Don Juanabbe
“ What are you Vanilla-bloody-Ice? “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ But if a ho wants to just be friends then don't waste your time. And I'm a debase character so your hooking up with her friend in front of her was sweet to my ears. “

Quote: Player_Supreme
“I've taken a fat chick and put her on a diet and training program and created my own super ho. “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

Quote: squirrels
“ You NEVER pay as a supplicative or bargaining measure, though. The reward that she gets for her affection is YOUR affection. The reward she gets for her sex is YOUR sex. The second you start buying her stuff to keep her around, keep her entertained in your presence, etc...you're compensating for not having what it takes to seduce the woman, and that's totally unacceptable. “

 

[jamesw82]

Originally posted by TinyDancer
Really try to be as busy as possible, or at least appear that way. If she emails you a lot try to respond only once for every two or three emails that she sends you, and be sure to keep them short. Since you work in the same place it would be easy for you to invite her out in a group setting. So instead of responding to her emails with a drawn out analysis of her relationship with her boyfriend try

"So sorry. Swamped with stuff to do. A bunch of people and I are going out after work, wanna come along? X time, X place. Maybe see you there."

I would also try not to see it as being ruthless, but rather just reevaluating priorities. If you feel you have a big heart, think about where it could best be used. Probably not comforting one individual girl's feelings. So volunteer places. It will take up time, allow you to meet people, and make you feel good. You would be helping many more people serving lunch to the homeless on Tuesday than you would by spending it listening to one girl's problems. Just make yourself as busy as possible. Remember Scarcity increases demand.

Thanks you're really helping me, I appreciate it alot

People from work tend not to go out alot though, other commitments etc etc, I did think of this initially.. Thats why I thought, go for an informal meetup for some lunch, have a chat, maybe get some kino going etc, I suppose I could maybe invite her out for lunch with a few people.. Thanks !

She's a really sweet girl, not like most of the game players i've unearthed in the last 3 months..!! I get labelled as sweet and although i think its a good quality, its not when you're twenty and looking for more than a friend !!!

 

[LikRetsam]

Originally posted by DJDamage
You are already in the LJBF zone or getting very close to it.

Never accept a date from a girl. You make the date. Besides Lunch date are usually reserved for friends (you), you want to schedule a dinner date (or forget the whole dinner thing and do an action date, and see how she reacts to that).

If you want her then you won't be happy in the friendship. You are already developing Oneitis so you better be trying to hooking up with other girls.

Even when women are in a relationship and keep telling you its a bad one, the fact of the matter is that they are so into the guy that they let him treat them like crap, while get their emotional love side of it from sitting down and talking about it to some AFC (could this be you?)

SHUT THE **** UP YOU NOOB ****ING DIP****.

****ing idiot.

As to the original poster, if she leaves her relation ship for you, she can do the same again to you. You're not in the LJBF zone contrary to popular belief and you can get her. Chicks will leave boys for men as they say.
If you wanna take it to the next level of friendship (relationship) do so. Be warned of the possible negative (and positive) consequences.

 

[jamesw82]

Cheers Lost In Translation, you did a real good run down of stuff to do their man...

I wouldn't pay for lunch though, it'd be half n half..

So, you're saying I either carry on, being an "emotional tampon" or just completely dj her.. well I know I want her man, so how do i block her off without being rude when shes beginning to talk emotional stuff.. she doesnt do it that much I swear, shes a good girl, its only if something major happens, and unfortunately in the last two weeks shes had two probs, i havent got too involved ive told her to look at the bigger picture n helped her out.. shes respected that.

She got a driving test soon, she wants me to come over to hers next week and show her whats what under the bonnet (its part of our test here in the uk, not sure if it is in the usa).. should i?

I know a re-read of the bible is in order... lol

 

[Lost In Translation]

I wouldn't pay for lunch though, it'd be half n half..

nice

but now you made up your mind that you want her.

do a change of plans to a dinner date / going out / fun date

She got a driving test soon, she wants me to come over to hers next week and show her whats what under the bonnet (its part of our test here in the uk, not sure if it is in the usa).. should i?

does she live with her boyfriend ? will he be there ?

if she doesn't live with him, what if he shows up ?

sounds like a job her boyfriend should be doing ? or her dad ?

if you help her out, whats in it for you ?

you just want to fu** her. i advise against spending all this " quality time " with her when you get NOTHING in return.

so how do i block her off without being rude when shes beginning to talk emotional stuff..

can we not talk about your boyfriend, it's a turn off

*this is also a good test to see if she is trying to LJBF you*

her reply will be either :

" we are just friends " = you are in deep yogurt ( LJBF )

" ok sorry i'll stop talking about him when i'm around you " = she wants you

unfortunately in the last two weeks shes had two probs, i havent got too involved ive told her to look at the bigger picture n helped her out.. shes respected that.

she has respected that ? lol.

the only problems i solve for my b*tches are the ones i create

you her guidance counsellor / therapist ? or you her future new man ?

don't send her signals of friendship.

send her a clear message. you are a MAN. you have a small spot available in your line up of b*tches that you think if she gets her $hit together she can fill. you haven't got time to listen to women moan about their problems. you are too busy kicking a$$ and taking names. the time she spends with you is PRECIOUS. she should be using it to GET WITH YOU.

YOU ARE THE PRIZE

you need to test her out but i don't like your chances unless you seriously go to work on her.

if you are LJBF you can escape the friend zone. but it's not easy.

here is what you need http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43174 by Mr. Fingers
Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“ the 'pimp' mentality works today because you are living in a time such that there are an overabundance if hors - this is the Pimps playground!! Pimps and hors go together like bread and butter - they are complementary natures!!! Pimps need hors like hors need pimps!! “

 

[frivolousz21]

I dont have much to add.

anything is possible..but there will be negative consequences.

how long as she been with this guy?

if it was less than 6 months you have a much greater chance....if its over a yr..try to de=attach yourself some...that way when u start trying to get her away..in whatever means..it wont hurt as much for you.

I recently had a girl I was wants for 9 months...I was her so called best friend.

no thats EMOTIONAL TAMPOM..IM NOT A *****..I JUST WANT THE *****

anyways i came here..so I de attached myself from her...started my dj pursuit..needless to say she has somewhat tried laying it on my physically..even if she wants me..its to late.. i dont care anymore!

cheers!

 

[jamesw82]

She doesnt live wit her bf, theyve been going out like a month, just over..

Her dad can't do it he works alot on business and her bf's a chump..

I dont just want her for a f**k tho guys...

Alot of this stuff is good, but alot of it I find plain disrespectful, Im not a pushover in relationships etc, but I do belive in making a bond with them, if we went out she wouldnt cheat because i'm the best bf there is out there...

Thanks everyone whos contributed to this, i'll use some of the stuff you've showed me, and see how it goes.. report back soon!

Laters..

 

[Lost In Translation]

I dont just want her for a f**k tho guys...

bro we are just trying to tell you what the DJ Bible says

unless you come across to a woman as a potential mate

by acting in a sexual manner , kino etc

she will not have the right mindset when she looks at you

she will view you as a " little brother " or " friend " type

instead of " man she wants "

a man is the complete package and that includes the sexual side too

it doesn't make sense i know but unless you come on strong as a SEXUAL MAN you risk being labelled a friend.

and let me tell you it is HARD work escaping the friend zone and sometimes it can take ages.

most times it is not even possible.

you appear to be viewing her as a girlfriend before the fact.

view her as a woman you like and want to hook up with.

she is the one who will say you are bf/gf. if you try and take it to that level she will flake on you. read up on it in the dj bible.

now the trick is you can MAKE HER take it to the gf level once you are seeing her by playing your cards right.

you say her bf's a chump, but she is still with him.

women are full of $hit. forget what she says, look at her actions.

especially her actions towards you.

she has only been with him a month, well that is good news.

you believe in making a bond with them ? cool but theres a time and a place and despite logic it's not at the start of a relationship.

women are messed up and don't make logical sense i know.

go read the dj bible and find out how to play your cards right so you win this girl over

you sound like you care about her alittle too much, just remember to keep that to yourself until she is ready to be able to handle it.

women and men fall in love differently.

i wish you all the best


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[DJDamage]

LikRetsam YOU DON"T AGREE WITH MY OPINION FINE!! BUT DON"T EVER TELL A FELLOW DJ TO SHUT THE F UP WHEN HE IS GIVING AN ADVICE TO SOMEONE ELSE ,,, YOU ARE 15!! YOU CAN DISAGREE WITH ME BUT DON"T GIVE ME SH1T,,, MOST PEOPLE SEEM TO AGREE WITH ME THEN WITH YOU!! The bible agrees with me then you! MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE Your own BIBLE!!!??? YOU ARE TOO GOOD FOR THIS SITE!!


quote:
LikRetsam
"As to the original poster, if she leaves her relation ship for you, she can do the same again to you. You're not in the LJBF zone contrary to popular belief and you can get her. Chicks will leave boys for men as they say.
If you wanna take it to the next level of friendship (relationship) do so. Be warned of the possible negative (and positive) consequences"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You don't know if he is or not is in the LJBF zone unless he takes the proper steps and risk rejection over an invitation to a real date and not let her play him around.